Akatsuki's flower
by Sakura Sama 101
Summary: the leader of akatsuki has a plan. Operation:Housekeeper. His victim? a hot tempered,funny kunoichi missing nin who has had some connection with Itachi is his answer. lets see what really happens in Akatsuki when no one's watching.and so when they leave..
1. Prolouge and so the story begins

Hey all, this is my first Naruto story! So yeah a few notes this is slightly AU, just technology wise since I don't know how much technology they had back then (I kinda have some idea) but yeah I know a TV is definitely going to be a part of this, any OOC ness is for humour purposes. This is mostly for humor. I'm trying to get a comedy with a serious side to it and once I get the first few chapters out of the way it will get funnier I promise. So yeah on with the fic

Disclaimer: I don't own naruto.

Akatsuki's flower

Chapter 1

Prologue and so the story begins

Prologue

(skip if you want but it helps with the plot)

In the world of Naruto there is a mysterious village. This village cannot be found, except by those who already know where it is. This village is called 'village hidden in light.' All of the people born in this village have white hair and eyes similar to the Byakugan, but they don't posses the bloodline trait. every hundred years or so a child is born with black hair and dark coloured eyes. rumour has it that these children have powers that are beyond mortal comprehension. a girl with black hair and midnight blue eyes was born, it was now 18 years later when our story takes place.

So the story begins………..

The leader of Akatsuki was in his room rummaging through papers. From another room in the cave he could hear drunken laughter and crashing and banging. He sighed. The cave where the headquarters was located was a mess. What he though everyone needed was a flower to brighten up the place. "And by flower I mean woman." He mumbled. He searched through many applications of desperate Kunoichi looking for jobs and missions that he got from a contact that owed him a favour. He picked up one.

It read

Is currently looking for a job with advancement opportunities- 

'Nope.' He tossed that one aside and picked up another one.

Has worked for many ninja outfits and wants pay that is 100 000 ryo or higher- 

'too much.' He picked up another one

_Just became a jounin, wants a job where she can meet new people, especially boys. Likes: boys pink, barbies, world peace, hates: blood, animal planet/national geographic, murderers, cleaning and psychopaths. _

'Nope, they'll torture her in every way possible including those just too sick and wrong to think about, revive her and do it over again, chop off her head and put it on a stick as a warning to all preps who come near the cave.' He picked up and read many more until he found this one.

_**KUNOICHI IN DESPERATE NEED OF JOB! WILLING TO DO ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING! VERY EXPERIENCED IN MOST FIELDS, MONEY IS NEGOTIABLE, WHATEVER YOU CAN PAY WITHIN REASON, MUST PROVIDE A ROOM. **_

'well that's more like it, I think we've found our housekeeper.' He read the last line. Maybe it was because he liked caps. Lock and bold but that was what he was thinking.

_contact Kari Toshikawa, currently somewhere in fire country._

"Well that's a lot of help." He grumbled sarcastically.

With Kari…..

She opened the door to a small house outside of Konoha. She sighed as she tossed her pack on a chair. The last 3 years took her to hell and back. She tripped on the small rug and fell asleep as soon as half of her lithe body hit the sofa.

Dream

Kari and an older woman were running through the trees. They were being pursued by 4 shinobi. Kari was being carried since she was only 8. It was a long time before they gave up. They were just outside of Konoha. It was then that the older woman collapsed from exhaustion.

"auntie…are you alright?" she tried shaking her body, no answer. "Auntie!" the woman grunted in her sleep. Kari sighed and took a long black lock out of her face and put it behind her ear. She sat near her aunt and kept watch, to keep herself occupied she practised some jutsus. Mostly to do with her kekki genkai which she is able to use pure energy or chakra to create barriers for long periods, can use purifacation powers offensively along with purifying things that are tainted and poisoned just by touching it, and using it to heal people faster than any medication can (she didn't have to learn how to do this like a medic-nin) and justsus passed down from her family. she would've graduated in around a month had not a bunch of ninjas chased her out of the village, she had accidently almost killed their kage's oldest son when she lost control of her powers due to her fast temper. her aunt interfered and took her out of the village when they began to pursue them. A few hours later she could feel 2 human auras in the trees. She pulled out 2 kunai.

"Who's there! Show yourself!" Kari yelled, she tried to look intimidating though she was only 8 and was about to collapse herself. A younger kakashi and a younger Iruka stepped out though she didn't know who they were. She'd fight them even if they were chunnin or Jounin or whatever they were at age 16 or something. "If you're here to fight bring it on!" she began to advance "I won't lose." She walked forward a few more steps, then she collapsed to her hands and knees.

Iruka walked up to her. "We're not here to fight you. Can you move?" Kari raised her head to look at him. Her body felt numb, and her limbs felt like lead weights. She shook her head. Iruka picked her up. Kakashi was already checking up on Kari's aunt. He saw her forehead protector, more like the symbol on it.

"iruka come here and look at this." Iruka did. He saw it and looked at the raven-haired girl in his arms. "You guys are from the village hidden in light. What is your business here?"

"I was kicked out. Aunt came with me…got chased. Is my aunt ok…aunty…." Kari passed out.

End dream

Kari woke up and realized her position on the couch. "Damn carpet." She mumbled. 'I haven't dreamed of my past in a long time.' Her aunt died 4 years after they settled in Konoha. "I better check it out. It's probably changed." She whispered as she grabbed her bag. She sighed as she walked out the front door. She walked down the busy street and found herself in the park. She sat down on the bench and watched the people walk by. Her eyes rested on a tree that was in the center of the park. 'And that's the place where I first met them…Kari slipped into a daydream.

Daydream

After living in Konoha for around 3 months and a half Kari made this tree her sanctuary. She just became a genin and got her forehead protector. It felt strange that she'd wear this symbol instead of her old village, but remembering that she lost all ties to that place and was now probably labelled a missing-nin got rid of that awkward feeling. She came here since she had no friends to celebrate with. She was about to doze off when she heard a voice.

"Hey lady! Why're you in a tree? Are you a bird! Can you fly!" a black haired 3 year old called to her.

Kari chuckled "no I can't fly little man. I'm no bird either." The boy puffed up and was about to argue about the 'little man' comment when a boy Kari's age ran over.

"Sasuke! What'd I tell you about running off!" he gasped.

"I know!" sasuke yelled. Everyone waited for an answer.

"Well…." The older boy said.

"I forgot itachi-nii."

"What did Itachi-nii say?"

Sasuke thought for a moment and resumed from where he left off. "I know! Itachi-nii always says 'god I hate this kid.'"

Kari tried to keep in the giggles but it didn't work. Itachi looked at her but then turned to sasuke trying not to kill the kid. "The other thing."

Sasuke thought hard for a minute "Only do it if scary fan-girls come." Sasuke answered looking very proud he remembered. "Sorry Itachi-nii but I saw that girl in a tree and wanted to know if she was a bird."

Itachi looked at the girl in the tree "You're Kari right?" asked her. Kari stopped giggling and began climbing down the tree.

"Uh-huh. And I know you're the Uchiha brothers. You've got quite a reputation so it's hard not to recognize you." She jumped down from the lowest branch with ease. "Well I better go. See ya." She began to walk away when sasuke and Itachi stopped her.

"We're gonna get some ice cream. Wanna come?" Itachi asked. Kari looked hesitant.

"Please!" Sasuke pleaded giving the puppy dog eyes. (Sasuke would look so cute doing that…)

Kari smiled. "Ok." And that was the beginning of their friendship. That was when she was brought back to reality by a mysterious voice.

End daydream

"Kari Toshikawa?" the mysterious man asked.

"Yeah, who are you and what do you want?" Kari answered.

"The leader of Akatsuki and your future employer. I want you to work for me as a housekeeper. You'll be paid 200 Ryo an hour and work 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. Any questions?" Kari was too shocked to speak, "good, we leave now."

'Thank god I grabbed my pack.' She glanced at the very big and heavy bag on her back. They journeyed all day and now they were at the Akatsuki lair. 'You've got to be kidding me! A cave! Alright just think of the money…it's just another crappy job…' they went inside the cave, and she quickly found out why he needed a house keeper, there was garbage and all sorts of stuff everywhere. They got to the living room where everyone else was watching TV.

"Men." The leader got little to no response. "MEN!" now that got their attention. "this is our new housekeeper." The men looked at her and she looked at them right back. Her midnight blue eyes sweeped across their faces and when she saw Itachi her heart skipped a beat and her face switched from shock to anger faster than a set of traffic lights. Everyone saw this.

"Already acquainted I see." The leader commented to the two

"We share history." Kari spat coldly. All Itachi did was give a smirk. She remembered that night like it was yesterday. Finding her only real family dead and carrying Sasuke's tortured body out of that house. "sorry for asking sir but where's my room?"

"Down that tunnel second door to the right. It shouldn't be hard to miss. You start work tomorrow."

"Yes sir thank you." Kari left then the leader left.

"How do you share history un? Is she and ex. Un?" Deidara asked.

"A childhood friend." Itachi answered. Then their TV show came back on.

everyone kinda knew enough to put pieces together and one thought was 'so is she the one who taught him manners?'

except for Kazuku who was thinking 'No! She's costing us money! Maybe there's a way for her to make money for Akatsuki…'

Kari was walking down the poorly lit tunnel and made it to her door 'Well I guess it isn't hard to miss!' she saw the hidden light symbol with a line through it on the door. 'but how would they know?' she stepped inside. There was a small desk with an oil lamp on it. A wooden wardrobe in a corner and a bed. She unpacked all her things and laid down on her bed. Her last thought before falling asleep was 'right when I thought Itachi could sink no lower.'

End chapter!

Well all I have to say is that I'm working on another Naruto story called ninja's in a nook so be on the lookout for that one. It should be posted soon. And that I came to a realization. My aunt has a dog named Kiba and that dog boy has that name. they're even pronounced the same. Isn't that weird! Oh well please leave lots of reviews! Oh yeah and I probably won't update often though I will try! Ja for now!


	2. the first day

Hmm, two reviews…not bad…could have more though but thanks to those two who did. I hope Kari isn't a mary-sue….i don't like them very much either and I don't want to be a hypocrite, mind it's only the first two chapters so we haven't really gotten to know her very well yet…

This is also taking place a couple months before sasuke and the others become genin.

Oh and one more thing, in order to add more humour to the story I was planning to make every 5th chapter a kind of flashback period, cuz when I was writing this my brain came up with some really funny, and serious stuff that involved Itachi, sasuke, and Kari's past…so vote for 3 of the following story titles: **The talk, how Itachi got his sharingan, **(not mangyekou) **Kari's job, brotherly love, cowboys and Indians, Camping with the uchihas and Why you should never give a 6 year old sugar. **Whatever gets the most votes gets written so please review!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

Chapter 2

The first day

Kari woke up to a large explosion the next morning and an angry voice yelling…

"NO! NOT AGAIN!"

Kari's original plan was to keep a low profile but curiosity got the better of her and she decided to go check it out. She calmly walked to the kitchen, the smell of burnt pancakes entering her nose. She slowly opened the door to be face to face with some angry batter covered Akatsuki members.

'…What the hell? God and I have to clean this….' She looked to see batter everywhere. She walked in cautiously as the others were walking out. The kitchen had an old run of the mill stove and fridge, a table in the middle and it had a river running through the last little bit of the kitchen. She grabbed a bucket of water and splashed it up the walls to try and get it to run down. After around 2 hours of this process she finally got the kitchen cleaned. 'great…I can barely cook myself…..hmm something good I can cook….POPTARTS!' so off she went making poptarts. She then got back to her room and got out of her pyjamas and into some clothes. Her next mission….to clean the garbage pit that was at some point a living room.

She looked at hidan who was sitting there watching TV instead of with the others eating poptarts in the kitchen, "Why aren't you with the others?"

"I'm fasting."

"Oh." She saw his necklace, "I see." She began to pick up garbage. 'he's part of that Jashin cult. If anyone were to be part of that in my old village they would be killed for sure…' Kari put garbage in a garbage bag. Slowly the others started coming in to watch the idiot box as she tried reaching for the last piece of garbage that was somehow stuck to a higher part of the wall.

Kari tried jumping for it, trying to get it with a stick and was about to get a chair to stand on to reach it when a blue hand just plucked it off. "Thanks…"

"Kisame." She turned to see the shark man.

"Thank you Kisame-san." Kari smiled as she took the piece of garbage from him and into the garbage bag. "Well…time for a break!" she jumped on the couch between Sasori and Deidara.

"Break?" Sasori repeated.

"Your boss didn't say I had to work eight hours straight did he?" Kari asked.

"No…" Sasori answered 'great we have a lazy housekeeper.'

"Then I'll get back to working in a half n hour. If I keep picking up stuff non stop I'm gonna end up being a hunchback." She turned to the TV "what the hell is this crap."

"The collector coin special edition episode!" Kazuku said highly offended.

"Kazuku…give us the remote and you won't get hurt un." Deidara said. Kazuku gave over the remote reluctantly.

"Who's gonna pick the channel now?" Itachi asked.

"Kari-san should choose." Kisame answered.

"Thanks." Kari said as she was given the remote. She began to surf for channels. "Thank god you guys got comedy network."

"What's the comedy network un?" Deidara asked.

"seriously? You haven't heard of it? No wonder you're all in this place and the way you are. Well prepare to laugh anyway." So they began to watch Reno 911 and they laughed alright. "I better clean the entry way now…" Kari sighed then left and began to clean. Finally after 2 hours all the garbage was cleaned. Kari stretched and cracked her back. She then thought she would explore the cave for more work since she did all the things that she thought were the most important.

A strange and familiar smell registered in her brain. Blood. She followed her nose and opened the door where the smell came from. The strong metallic smell that hit her senses at that moment was enough to make her want to puke but then again Kari wasn't one to show weakness until she was sure she was alone. She shut the door and ran a little way from that room. One thing she did see in that short span was the symbol on the floor that was exactly the same on hidan's necklace. 'that man, I don't know how he can do those rituals but I guess if you're devoted to anything that much you're willing to do everything for it. I guess someday I'll find out how that feels.'

She began to make her way around and found the laundry room along with a few other rooms. In the laundry room there was part of the same river that flowed from the kitchen, soap and a washboard along with mountains of clothes. She sighed as she began to do laundry and she was almost done 2 ½ hours later when she had a small problem. 'mens dirty underwear…great. Well…if I don't wash them then who will?' so she washed them.

Kari continued to explore the cave when she came across a slightly open door which had a large hole in the roof allowing sun in and all different kinds of plants. She was admiring the beauty of this, a voice said…

"A delectable young woman…" Zetsu's white side spoke.

"Yes lets eat her." Zetsu's black side added.

Kari immediately did the first thing that came to mind 'get the hell outta there!' so off she ran. She quickly looked behind to see if she was being followed and crashed into something that thankfully didn't feel like a cave wall. It was something much worse as Kari looked up into the face of Itachi. They stayed like that for a moment until Kari backed up a few steps slightly blushing cause of their closeness. 'get a grip of yourself girl! You're not the little girl you used to be!' Kari gave Itachi a glare 'he betrayed sasuke, he betrayed Konoha and he betrayed you!' her conscious screamed. She walked past him down the hall.

Itachi continued walking, he knew that he deserved the cold behaviour he got from her, but why would she blush if she hated him? This confused him slightly but he drove that out of his mind. What he thought was disturbing was that ever since she came he had trouble with his inner child, it was trying to take over his rational thinking. His thoughts were cut short when he crashed into a door. 'note to self: thinking and walking is dangerous.' He thought.

Kari shut her room door. She was done her work anyway, she walked over to her bed but not before tripping over her pack on the way, "why am I always tripping over things damn it!' she angrily yelled rubbing her sore foot. She took out the first thing she touched which happened to be a picture frame with a picture.

The picture was a picture of her, Sasuke, Shisui and Itachi before she and Itachi went for their chunnin exams. Sasuke had his eyes shut and a big toothy grin on his face (he had just lost 2 teeth) he was perched on Itachi's shoulders. Itachi had a small grin on his face, he had one arm around Kari who was winking at the camera and doing the peace sign and another arm around shisui who was waving. Kari had Itachi in half an embrace and Shisui had an arm around Itachi.

Kari put the picture on the nightstand as she felt tears well up in her eyes. 'I often wonder about what life would've been like if that dolt hadn't have done what he did…' she sniffed and wiped away the tear that escaped her mask. 'why? Why did this have to happen? I should've figured it out when he was acting strange, I could've done something…he tortured Sasuke, and murdered them then disappeared and left me with the broken pieces, he broke my heart when he did that.' Purple energy began to flow from her body that formed flames. Kari looked surprised for a second and quickly suppressed it back inside her body. 'that hasn't happened in a while…' was her last thought before falling asleep.

Around half-n-hour later kisame knocked on the door. He got no answer so he peeked into her room to find her asleep. He quietly shut the door and went back to the others in the kitchen. "she's out cold."

"she's interesting enough." Hidan commented.

'yeah she is.' Itachi thought.

_Phew, finally done…….with the first day of school and all I'm pretty wiped out…sorry for such a long delay for those who were waiting for this chapter so anyway please please leave some nice reviews and all. (starts dancing to headstrong) well see ya later and hopefully update this one soon…this is Sakura Sama 101 signing off._


	3. My furry little friend

_Hi all, 3 reviews! Well thankyou for reviewing! Hehe I'm basing a small OC on my dad…I owe him so much…he taught me pretty much all that I know about archery, and guns and hunting, him, his friend Bob and my grandfather…so I'm dedicating this chapter to them! _

_BTW! I accept constructive criticism, cuz a good author said this once in one of their stories, "a good author is not someone who can spell perfect and has god-like grammar and punctuation. A good author is not someone who can write a good story. A good author is someone who can take criticism with a smile and thank the person that gave it to them." And flames I use to keep warm and cook Kraft Dinner since that's pretty much all my family can afford right now…_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…..if I owned Naruto It'd probably be something like my other story……_

Kari had been working for Akatsuki for about 5 days and she was now starting to get used to working for them. Kisame was pretty much almost like a brother to her and he was a big help, she pretty much wanted to kill Kazuku cause he was very mean to her about the fact that she was costing Akatsuki money…which they did get into a few fights already. Hidan, Deidara and Sasori seemed ok but she really didn't know them that well and she was pretty much creeped out by Zetsu; his aura and something else was really freaky about him. And we all know how she feels about Itachi.

Kari woke up that morning in a very cheerful mood. It was the last day of work before a two-day break. She quickly got on some regular clothes, black, slightly baggy pants and a white shirt. The first thought in her mind was to train, but then she remembered she had to do her job…Kari was more better at stealth than actual fighting, and her skills were average, she was a quick learner, but the last few years helped her master the skills she had and then some. She pulled out her bow and bent it back for old times sake and frowned when it began to protest and gasped when the wood started to crack.

'Great…something else I have to get fixed…' she then cursed at her easily distracted mind, realizing she should've been downstairs right now. But while she was going down a tunnel the leader came up to her.

The leader gave her a pouch of money "You did well on your first week."

Kari's cheeks flushed with pride "Th-thank you sir."

The leader gave a separate money pouch "You now need to get the groceries."

"Um ok." The leader turned around and came back to his room. Kari then turned around back to her room, quickly grabbing a cloak and her bow… 'Maybe I can find a bowyer in the village…' a bow wasn't a very common weapon for a ninja…but it definitely had its uses. Such as putting explosive notes on arrows and under an experienced archer's usage could kill in one shot and even more devastating when it was chakra powered.

She then came out of her room; she still wasn't quite used to the darkness of the cave and crashed into a cave wall, which by now it was taking on a human sized crater. It wasn't the first time she crashed into this wall. She then said a bunch of colourful words that would make a sailor seem like a girl scout. She passed the others on her way out the entrance.

"Where you going?" Kisame asked.

"Grocery shopping." Kari answered.

"I hope it's coming out of your pay." Kazuku commented.

Kari turned around and gave him a cold glare. "No it's not you greedy scumbag." Kari began to leave. "Get over the fact that I'm costing you money." Kazuku let his rage take control and he ran at her with the intent to kill…Kazuku never really got the message…normally when he came at her Kari used a genjutsu technique that she invented called the 'seven sins illusion jutsu' which would have the target hallucinating, like if you were consumed

by wrath you'd be hurting people and getting revenge and stuff and discriminating people since you liked doing it.

But in Kazuku's case money would be falling from the sky but when really you were picking up garbage and other random items. It had a second stage that Kari mentioned that did mental harm but she said "It would be a waste of chakra to use it on him." But this time he bounced off a purple barrier that surrounded her body and into the cave wall on the other side of the room and was knocked unconscious. The others just shrugged this off.

Kari stepped out and began making her way toward the village. The forest was very lush and there was lots of wild life. She saw a waterfall on her way, it was around 20 feet tall, it wasn't big and powerful but it was gentle and narrow, there was a large black rock in the middle of the bottom of the waterfall 'a good meditation place…' Kari thought. She was now at the village, clearly at first sight it wasn't a ninja village…it was more of a place where people live after they retire, smoke curled from the many chimneys into the clear sky. She made visits to the butcher, vegetable vendor, and other such places, and merely by chance did she see a weaponry shop on her way out.

She stepped inside and looked around at all the different weapons and found some arrows, carbon, aluminium and wood. Carbon arrows were the lightest of the three enabling a faster and more accurate shot thought that didn't mean wood arrows didn't have their uses. Kari liked putting the explosive notes on wood arrows since they burn better. Aluminium arrows were somewhere in between thought Kari didn't like using them.

Kari picked up a bundle of carbon and wood arrows. Her sharp eyes found a compound bow hanging up. Thought they made your shooting much more powerful and accurate they were just too confusing for Kari's taste. She could never pull the right string.

The storekeeper walked over. "Don't like the new wave eh?" he asked. Kari turned to him. There was something familiar about him. "And you probably always will be eh Kari-chan?"

Then it hit her "Mamoru-kun. It's been a while." Mamoru was a man gracefully entering old age, he certainly had more grey hairs than the last time she saw him. Mamoru was a travelling bowyer journeying to find different kinds of woods and weapons and techniques. He once stayed in hidden light since there was a rare type of wood found in that area.

"It has been a while…since Orochimaru attacked hidden light." Mamoru answered. Kari stiffened and her blood began to boil when she heard that name. "I will kill that bastard one of these days for what he did to my people. But until that time I need some adjustments made." Kari handed over her bow.

Mamoru frowned at the crack in the tiger wood limb. "Yes definitely needs some adjustment. Give me your arm." Kari did so. Mamoru pulled out a green gauge with a string attached to a spring. Mamoru held the gauge while Kari pulled on the string to where she felt comfortable. Mamoru had to take a double take on how much she was pulling; it had to be at least a twenty-pound increase. "Sixty pounds…you've been doing some sort of training."

"Hehe…my previous sensei taught me a few tricks."

"Well Barbie…" Mamoru stopped seeing his nickname had an effect "There's an archery contest in a few days and I thought you could teach those young ones a few things…I should have it done by then."

Kari hit him on the head and there was a goosebump "it better be _old man._" She gave him the money to pay for the arrows and the limb replacements. "See ya."

She just stepped outside the village when she noticed something in the bushes. It was a puppy, nothing but skin and bones and heavily injured, she had half a mind to walk away right there since it was probably dead, but she saw its chest rise, she didn't know what was going on but she saw herself place down the heavy bags of groceries, and place her hands on the pup. Purple chakra began to seep into the god and heal its wounds. She didn't know why she was doing this, but there was more to this dog that met the eye at first glance.

The dog just looked at her as she grabbed her groceries and continued walking back towards the cave. It then decided to follow. Kari smiled sensing the dog's aura following her. She looked at the sky and didn't see the moon, she always had a knack for seeing the moon even though it was noon except if it was a new moon, and then she saw a very thin circle. "I don't know why I'm doing this…or if my boss will let me keep you…but for now I'll call you Mika." They continued walking till they got to the cave. 'Hmm now…how to talk them into letting you stay…' Kari thought as they stepped inside. The others were in the living room as usual. And she placed the groceries in the kitchen and came back and sat down on a lazy boy chair near the couch.

"What's that?" Hidan asked.

"A dog." Kari answered.

"Why's it here?" Hidan continued on. Kari just shrugged.

"She followed me home." In a way she was telling the truth.

"The leader won't let you have it un." Deidara said.

"Just remember that I'm the one who has to take care of it and such…"

"Good point." Sasori said.

Meanwhile Kazuku was crying inside 'more money down the drain…and I'm allergic….' But no one really cares about Kazuku eh? There was a blanket draped on the top of one of the two couches, Kisame was wrapped in that blanket and was moving his hand, Mika seeing that jumped on the couch and began playing.

"AAHH!" Kisame half yelled in surprise and half in pain. He then started playing back and the dog started playing rougher "I kinda like this dog…"

At that time the leader decided to come in…and was about to say something when…

"Tobi is a good boy!"

"Oh no…" everyone mumbled.

"What the fuck?" Kari asked. Tobi walked in through the entrance.

"He survived?" Kazuku asked angrily.

"Zetsu-san! Here's the treasure from Atlantis you asked me to bring! Can I join Akatsuki now?" Tobi gave zetsu a bunch of gold that Kazuku was eyeing and foaming at the mouth…

(AN: hehe I couldn't resist in adding tobi….and he was Zetsu's subordinate before Sasori died so I'm assuming that he was there…)

"Why is there a dog here?" the leader asked. Completely ignoring Tobi.

"We thought she could be our mascot un." Deidara replied

"Yeah we've taken a liking to her." Sasori said.

"How could you resist this cute little thing?" Kisame held the dog up to the leader's face

The leader's face softened "Will you take care of it Kari-san?"

"Yes of course leader sama." Kari answered.

"Then it can stay." The leader walked away, back to doing stuff in his office.

'That was easy…' Kari thought

"Now you have to do something for us…" Hidan

'Unless the leader knew that they'd make me do something so that I could keep her…' Kari continued. "What?"

"We want you to dress up to your job so…" Itachi pulled out a French maid uniform.

'fuck…wait a second.' Kari thought "hell no." she defiantly crossed her arms. 'maybe I can find out about stuff about Orochimaru from these guys…I heard he was part of Akatsuki at some point.'

"Hell yes un." Deidara answered back.

"Fine if that means you guys won't resort to homosexuality…" Kari dodged the punches she got from saying that then shuddered at what she was about to say next "I'll do it…. I'll wear it from the moment I wake to the time I go to bed…if you tell me everything you know about orochimaru."

Though she only noticed it for a moment she saw a look of curiosity on Itachi's face quickly replaced by anger then back to his emotionless self. The others then exchanged glances.

"Deal." They all said at once.

"But why does it have to be a maid outfit?" Kari asked. During the small time that they had her here and from the information that Itachi gave them, she was a tomboy. This was found out a few days ago

FLASHBACK….

Sasori and Deidara just got back from a mission and there was a gigantic hole in Sasori's Akatsuki cloak from when he did his transformation. "KARI-SAN!" there was lots of swearing, pots and pans clanging and at some point an explosion and Kisame yelling and a flaming Zetsu running around with Hidan trying to put him out. Itachi was calmly watching all of this and occasionally helping Hidan and Kisame put out the small fires.

"what the hell's going on here un!" Deidara asked him.

"Kari-kun is trying to cook." Itachi said calmly as usual. He never did get out of the habit of calling her kun.

Kisame did a set of handseals "**Suiton: suikodan no jutsu." **(water release: water shark bullet technique) strong bursts of water put out zetsu and the fires. Kari dizzily walked out of the kitchen slightly smoking.

Sasori walked over and waved a hand in front of her face. "Earth to Kari…"

"Come in big red…" Kari had a laugh attack with her joke.

Sasori angrily sighed "Can you sew this?" he turned around and pointed at the hole.

Kari was confused "Sew?" she sounded out the word "what's that?"

"So you can't sew?"

"Hell no. Why would I do something so girly as that?"

"So you're incapable of doing any kind of house work!" Kazuku shrieked…if he wanted money spent, he wanted it spent effectively.

"Hey hey don't forget I can clean the house and do laundry…and…make tea…scare off intruders…." Kari said in defence.

"That's good enough for us! Itachi does all the other stuff you can't do anyway." Kisame ruffled her hair. While Itachi looked murderous. And Sasori gave him the wrecked cloak.

"Our little suzzie homemaker!" Hidan laughed putting an arm around Itachi.

"Shut up." He mumbled as he walked away.

END FLASHBACK

"We know how to get under your skin…it could've been pink…." Itachi answered.

"Ok ok! Anything but that! I was just asking anyway." Kari sighed. "I'm gonna go heat up some Takoyaki."

Finally everyone retired and went to bed sometime during the night.

END CHAPTER 

_Finally I got that chapter done lol…that's the most I think I've written in a while…please review! I'll update faster…especially those who put the story on favs and alerts! It's deeply appreciated since I live in a violent house hold…I wake up to someone fighting every morning, be it my brothers or my mom or whatever…well I'll try to update. _

_Sakura Sama 101 signing off_


	4. power outages and maid outfits

Hehe well here's chapter 4…and while writing this I came to a realization while having a fight with my alter egos…THIS STORY HAS A PLOT believe it or not….

Inner Jordan: that's what we've been trying to tell you since you started writing this thing 

**Dark Jordan: Jesus…do we have to go over this again? GET WITH THE DAMN STORY!**

Normal Jordan: oh right hehe…well 4 stories for the next chapter have one vote each…not that I mind! I don't mind writing the ones that have already been picked! yeah…4 REVIEWS! YOU ALL OFFICIALLY ROCK! And I got a sweet CD from a friend that was kind enough to burn it for me-

_**Dark and inner Jordan: GET WITH THE DAMN FIC!**_

_Italics_ hand seals

**Bold** jutsu names

'**Anything in bold thought quotes' **Inner Kari

Underline sign language

**Underline and bold** things that need emphasis.

Warnings: swearing…OOC ness…slightly AU I can't think of anymore things worth mentioning

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto….just seven sins punishment no jutsu and seven sins illusion no jutsu…which you may be thinking are the same thing but they aren't…punishment is the second part….(you don't know how much thought I put into it…)

The Akatsuki members were sitting at the table in the kitchen…waiting for Kari to get up so she could cook breakfast…ah the wonders of poptarts…so many flavours.

"She's late." Sasori said.

'She's probably still asleep.' Itachi rolled his eyes. Just then Kari walked into the kitchen. Her eyes were closed and she walked right into the fridge and fell over…still asleep.

"Mikoto-chan…I don't want to go on a mission today…I wanna stay home…and help you make onigiri…" she mumbled. "What's with all the apples and bananas…why aren't there oranges….AHH! I'VE UPSET THE GODS OF APPLES AND BANANAS!"

Kisame walked over and was about to nudge her with his foot when she grabbed onto his leg. Itachi's eyes unconsciously narrowed.

"Kari-kun.." kisame started. Kari let go and stood up.

"I had the weirdest dream! Samehada turned into a Popsicle…and you were swinging it around acting all proud…Hidan-san was god, Kazuku-san was a banker, Tobi-san was a bad ass, Deidara-kun had a scope in his eye and Sasori-san was a puppet." Kari explained.

Deidara shook his head and pulled the fringe of hair above his eye "The last two are true un."

Kari cracked a grin "You forgot Itachi-kun Kari san." Tobi added.

"I don't really care what she dreamt about me." Itachi responded coldly.

Kari wanted to get this question off her chest "Kisame-kun samehada shaves right?"

"Yes." Kisame answered.

"well since I'm gonna have a shower can I borrow it?" Kari asked.

"What?" Kisame answered. it took him two seconds to get what she was asking "HELL NO! YOU AREN'T USING IT FOR **THAT**!"

everyone shook their heads at Kari's stupidity.

"Just asking." She walked out of the kitchen.

'That part she spoke out loud just before the fruits was a memory…' Itachi thought.

Kari stepped inside the shower and turned on the water 'my dreams these past nights have been strange as if they were-' **'trying to tell you something.' **'Yeah…and it's always about the massacre.' **'Don't worry about it kiddo…it'll probably sort itself out in the near future.' **'I guess you're right…' **'But right now you have to finish here…don't forget to wash behind your ears.' **Kari frowned at her inner. Then finished her shower. She was now walking to her room clad in only a towel. She met Kisame in the hall that lead to her bedroom.

"Do you hate Itachi-san?" he asked.

'Do I hate Itachi-kun?' she sighed "I'm mad at him for what he's done…but I feel that I can't hate him entirely cause of all we've been through." She answered truthfully

Kisame nodded "I see. Itachi told me about what happened to make you two grow apart. It's not all that you think it is…Itachi word for word told me "I will be the one to tell her and only when I feel the time is right. If I found out you told her anything I'll have your head."" Kisame did a macho impersonation.

Kari snickered "same old Itachi huh?" **'See didn't I tell you it would sort itself out?' **'I wonder what is so important…it better not be some cruel joke those two are pulling.' Kari clutched her towel just realizing what situation she was in "so why tell me this **NOW**!" she gestured at her body.

"Cause I know Itachi is trying to pry Deidara off his back. Uh…I'll go now. Hurry and get dressed so you can cook poptarts." Kisame left. Two sneezes and a thud were heard. Kari entered her room and ruefully began to put on the ridiculous outfit. Luckily she had it covering herself when deidara came barging into her room not even two seconds later.

"Deidara-kun! What the hell are you doing!" Kari screeched. Deidara was panting and sporting a large bump on his head.

"Hiding from Itachi-kun un." He gasped. Kari rolled her eyes and shook her head. She walked over and placed a hand on his bump and healed it with purple chakra.

"You're a medic un?" Deidara asked. Kari nodded. Right now she was trying to get the zipper up on her back. "you helped me let me help you un." Kari sighed as she turned around and Deidara did the zipper and the bow up.

"Thankyou…um can you go…so I can finish?" Kari asked. Deidara nodded and left. After some cursing and frustrated sighs she got everything else on too. When she was walking down the hall she realized for the first time how cold it was in here, not so cold that everyone had to wear their cloaks inside (they normally didn't) but there were days, especially in the winter. She angrily opened up the kitchen door and said "I really hope you guys are happy now…cause I'm freezing my ass off. And that I stopped you from homosexuality…for a day…" she then went to search the pantry for the sacred poptarts and tea.

The guys however brushed off the homosexuality comment as they stared at her. Now Kari didn't have a model body, just one that you'd probably get after years of doing ninja work…unless you were an Akimichi…then you had problems…

AN: I don't hate fat people it's just that my brother is being a dildo. And he's chubby (he reminds me of chouji)

Kari had slightly toned arms and legs with a few noticeable scars, a fair sized bust, and a few curves…more of an athletic build but not with all the heavy muscles and six pack abs and all that. They never really would've saw this cause she wore baggy clothes most of the time. Kari put the poptarts in the toaster and the tea on the stove and sat down at the table.

"Kari-kun's a medic un." Deidara commented. He got no answer. Tobi was happily drumming his fingers on the table. Kari then saw it.

"Oh my frickin god." She murmured and looked at everyone's hands.

"What's your problem!" Kazuku commented rubbing his temples cause he could feel another headache coming on.

"I'm too late." Kari sighed.

"Too late for what Kari-san?" Tobi asked curious.

"You're all homos." Kari said dramatically. Then the toaster buzzer went off. "Ha! You can't kill me since I have your precious poptarts!"

"Deidara-sempai what's a homo?" Tobi asked.

"I don't know un. Sasori-danna what's a homo un?" Deidara asked.

"Homo milk." Sasori answered.

"Why are we homos?" Hidan asked angrily.

"You all painted your nails, hell you even manicured them…the shame! The horror!" Kari then got serious "This is one fruity toot club, so…do you have to throw away all manly pride to join?" everyone remained silent drawing hidden weapons out of their pouches "I mean what guy in their right mind would paint and manicure their nails, I mean except you guys since you're all mentally unstable psychopathic killers but-"

Kari was cut short, just as they were about to get up and kill her the lights shut off and they were shrouded in darkness. They all remained silent, the powerful crash of thunder and the soft pitter-patter of rain reached their ears.

"Great time for the power to go out." Itachi sarcastically remarked.

"Wow your first full sentence today." Sasori commented. He got no answer from the uchiha.

Kari could feel the dog brush up against her leg, she picked it up and summoned flame into her hand. With the small light Zetsu grabbed some candles and all the flashlights in the cave/house. They all still haven't left the table.

"So…I held up my part of the bargain…you have to tell me everything you know about Orochimaru." Kari stated.

Hidan answered "we really don't know much about him ourselves. Sasori was his partner before he left Akatsuki, I do know that 1 of our objectives is to kill him." He and everyone else were eating poptarts.

Sasori sighed and scratched his head "I barely know much more than you guys. Just that he had a thing for little boys…and Itachi-san though mostly Itachi-san. I think he came up with the nail polish part of our dress code. Itachi-san and Orochimaru had a big fight and orochimaru left soon after that. Rejected!" sasori explained. Everyone chucked but stopped cause of a cold glare from Itachi.

"We did fight and I should've killed that scum when I had the chance." Itachi responded coldly.

Kari could see hate, pain and the thirst for revenge in his sharingan eyes and aura. It made her wonder what did Orochimaru do to Itachi to make him say that. 'Did he have something to do with the bit that Kisame mentioned?' **'with that snake bastard who knows?' **"Well thank you…for telling me what you know. Some years ago Orochimaru attacked 'hidden light' and annihilated it leaving the village in ruins and many people that I know dead, missing or living in tents in relocation camps. So I'm out for revenge." Kari explained.

"Now that we're on that subject, you're from hidden light but you have black hair and eyes. Does that mean you have powers like the rumours say?" Kisame asked.

Kari laughed surprising everyone "and that's all they ever were…were rumours. What I have is a "reverse albino" effect going on. I have no god like powers, the only powers I have came from being born in a long line of priests and priestesses." Kari sighed thinking back on her younger years "I actually have a twin sister…my complete opposite in appearance and attitude. It showed since she went to be a geisha and I went to be a ninja."

There was silence…it was really annoying.

"Did I just say that out loud?" Kari asked. More silence 'actually…it was my father who suggested I become a ninja…to protect my onee-chan and since I inherited spiritual power so strongly they saw it as a waste if I became a geisha like my mother and sister. Besides I'd rather wield a sword than a fan any day cause I wanted to be like Tsunade-sama when I was younger. To show that women could do anything men could do, that and be the first girl to enter the academy in 20 years. I had a good life there and strangely enough the kage's oldest son only teased me. Not cause of my appearance but because of my entering the academy. So I challenged him to a fight and right when I was about to win an ANBU member showed up then that brat said I was trying to kill him and then I found myself trying to do the deed and I got kicked out. That was the worst and best day of my life.' Kari was in la la land for so long she didn't realize the same conversation had been going on for 15 minutes.

"I'm bored un." Deidara said.

"I know." Tobi answered.

"What are we gonna do now?" Kazuku asked.

"I don't know." Hidan answered.

"Why don't you play some sort of game." Itachi couldn't keep the agitation out of his voice. And then there was silence.

"Hey it's silent." Zetsu's white side informed

"No more rain." His black side responded.

"yeah…it was mentioned earlier." Kisame commented pointing at the computer screen above them.

FLASHBACK

_There was silence…it was really annoying_

END FLASHBACK

"Was the flashback really necessary? The readers have eyes." Itachi coolly remarked.

"Whatever…I'm gonna take the dog out." Kari stated taking a flashlight…but was attacked by…sasori?

"I'm afraid of the dark…and you're taking the biggest flashlight!" Sasori growled (seriously…my brother did this to me…)

"Fine…" she grabbed a smaller flashlight and took the dog out. When she finally did find her way outside the ground was wet and springy from the storm and cool on her bare feet. The clouds still lingered like a bee hovering above a flower until he got enough nectar. Kari looked ahead and saw a silhouette in the bushes. She couldn't quite see what it was but it was human judging from the aura around its body it was human and it definitely wasn't woods-crafty as she saw it crashing through the bushes. Kari shrugged it off, there were 8 fully capable ninja in there if it was an intruder.

(BTW: an aura is slightly different from chakra, though an aura is partly made out of the 7 chakras, I personally think that you can't completely hide your aura since it is an electromagnetic field...I think)

"You've lost, it's over. Say it." Itachi's voice rang through the dark desolate cave tunnels. Kari peeked her head in time to see Itachi and Kisame sitting at the table facing off from eachother on other sides of something. She couldn't quite get a good look. The others were watching intently.

Kisame bowed his head in defeat "you sunk my battleship." Kari anime fell.

"I'm bored un. Sasori-danna do you know what we should do un?" Deidara asked.

"Well don't you guys have a group game like monopoly or blurt?" Kari asked making her appearance.

"Kisame and Hidan wrecked the board and Zetsu ate all the pieces…and we were yelled at by leader-sama cause we yelled too much." Kazuku explained.

"That's because we're always drunk when we decide to play blurt." Hidan corrected his partner, which earned a glare.

"We could always blow something up…" Kari sighed…she and deidara got along good since they were pretty much the same age and they had a lot in common.

"Oh Sasori-kun!" a snobbish female voice called.

"we should eat her…" Zetsu's black side spoke.

"It'd give us unwanted attention." Sasori answered then left. He returned with a geisha or at least she was supposed to be. This must've been the thing that Kari had seen while outside for she had twigs and leaves stuck in her black hair, she wasn't wearing makeup either but the kimono she was wearing must've been very expensive, it was a soft pink hue with white flowers that looked like cut-outs all over, with an obi that was orange and yellow. Though she was a geisha like her sister she was nowhere near as beautiful as she was.

"Why is it so dark in here?" the geisha asked.

"the power's out." Sasori answered.

"Why not get the **maid** to fix it?" she asked again.

"cause that's not in my job description." Kari said sharply back. It was silent again. Kari was playing songs in her head while petting Mika. Then all the sudden the lightbulb in Kari's head went off and she cursed at herself for not thinking of it sooner. She got up and walked to the phone hanging on the wall and dialled the power outage emergency hotline. She quickly got off. "the power shouldn't be out for too much longer an hour at the most." She sat back down then the lights came back on.

"Tobi is a good boy! Tobi fixed the power!" tobi entered. The leader then barged in the kitchen.

"Tobi is now the newest member of Akatsuki! Come Tobi! Lets watch 'Days of our lives in the living room!" he and tobi left. Kari then realized why he was the leader. He was the craziest one of them all. She sweat dropped at this fact. The others were also creeped out by this, they knew the leader had a soft spot for soaps but it never really sunk in…

"This sucks." Hidan commented.

Kisame's stomach rumbled. "How about some lunch Kari-kun?"

"Alright, how about ramen?" Kari asked putting a large pot on the stove and grabbed a bunch of packets and put them in. while waiting for it the outfit was starting to make her itch "How long have I been wearing this stupid thing!"

"Two hours." Kazuku commented.

"I'm gonna go clean something…if the water's bubbling the noodles are done.." Kari began to leave.

"it's about time the made started doing her job. This place is filthy!" the geisha commented. That was when she made two critical errors. 1. she said she didn't do a good job. Well it's a cave for Christ sakes! 2. She pissed off a constantly PMSing teen in a maid suit that itched constantly and made her girly.

Kari continued walking 'this one is ruled by lust.' _Tiger, boar, ox, horse, tiger _**Seven sins punishment no jutsu.** She relayed in her head the vision she wanted that girl to see, her burning in fire and brimstone with Asmodeus watching and fuelling the fire. **'STOP!' **her inner yelled as indeed burns were starting to appear on her skin as she screamed in agony. The screams stopped and the burns disappeared. Kari was already gone and cleaning the cave. **'a little over kill no!' **'I guess..' **'a kunoichi should have control over her emotions. I'm ashamed that you're my outer.' **'I love you too.' **'God you piss me off! I'm leaving.' **"God I have such a sensitive inner…" she spoke out loud.

LATER….

"Why'd you do that to the girl?" Kisame asked. He was playing with the dog on the couch.

"Why do you pull her whiskers?" Kari was vacuuming the living room.

"Because it makes her play harder. Answer my question."

"I can't stand girls who sell away their virginity like it's worthless…well that's part of being a geisha but I mean having sex as fulfilling your needs…not cause you love someone."

"Are you a virgin?" Hidan asked.

"That's none of anyone's business…and you aren't using me for any of those crazy rituals you have." Kari left to find more housework.

EVEN LATER THAN THAT….

Kari cleaned everything she could think of and made some effort on supper McCain French fries. She grabbed her knitting and brought it to the living room. Which the others immediately cracked up.

"Men knit you know." Kari stated holding her yarn ball as a weapon just incase anyone had something to say about it.

"Yeah ok. Name one." Zetsu's white side spoke.

"yeah." His black side added.

"I do. It's really fun!" tobi said.

"My point exactly." Kari stated. Kisame opened his mouth to say something but Kari reading his mind chucked the large yarn ball at his head…and if you've ever been hit with a yarn ball…that you rolled up yourself…it really hurts.

They then watched TV for a while and then it was only Kari, Itachi, Deidara and Zetsu.

"well I think I'm going to bed." Kari stated.

"You're gonna need all the sleep you can get cause tomorrow you have to garden." Zetsu's black side commented.

"Huh?"

"Nothing." Zetsu's white side answered. The other Akatsuki members up then realized that Kari had been working for them for about a week which was about as long as the last one lasted, and died trying to do some chores in Zetsu's garden.

Lets just say the Akatsuki members had a slight idea of what was gonna happen tomorrow.

_End! _

_Well I just wanna say…the fifth chapter is gonna be really really long…probably twice as long as this…I have one story almost written and It's about 9 pages long on loose leaf…which it's gonna be 5 pages on the computer…just for one but that's an estimate. And well I would like reviews…especially from those who put me on favs and alerts. It makes my day brighter! Oh and if you have time…check my homepage for some sweet Naruto pics I've been collecting! I just wanted to say that…hehe! The story polls are still open…and those that aren't written on chapter 5 will be written on chapter ten…though I still have more ideas for short fillers. I'll tell more about that next time. _

_Peace out! please review! i accept constructive critisism and flames...though i use them to keep warm! _

_Sakura Sama 101_


	5. filler chapter 1

_Well here is filler chapter numero one! Ok, 4 stories have been chosen with one vote each….which only two people voted for two stories…hehe oh well. I better get on with it….i will put small comments of each story before I type it lol. _

_Italics_handseals or written stuff.

**Bold**jutsu names

'**anything bold in bold thought quotes'**Inner kari

underlinesign language.

**Underline and bold**things that need emphasis.

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or Itachi-kun would be mine…..(I have a cat…..) _

How Itachi got his sharingan.

AN: well I just had a brainwave and well this is my theory on how he got his sharingan. It's not the real reason…I don't even know how he really got it in the series. So bear with me, some of this won't make sense but when I get the later chapters out it will make sense. And I sound tracked this one…the song is…A dangerous mind by within temptation.

Shortly after meeting Sasuke and Itachi for the first time, they had invited her to a sleepover, her aunt was on missions and jobs most of the time cause they needed money. So Kari was alone most of the time. Needless to say Kari was nervous, no wait scratch that, she was **scared shitless** as she reached the Uchiha head family compound. She hesitantly knocked on the door and was immediately answered by Mikoto, thought she didn't know it at the time.

"Come in!" she ushered Kari inside. "You're Kari-chan correct?" Kari nodded. Mikoto smiled. "There's no need to be shy."

"Alright Mikoto-sama…" Kari murmured.

"You can call me Mikoto-chan, being called sama makes me blush." Mikoto answered.

'I think I'll like this woman…' Kari thought glancing at her.

"Kari-chan!!" three-year-old sasuke launched himself at her, he was followed by Itachi.

"Why don't you guys show Kari around while I make supper." Mikoto commented. So the three left and went upstairs.

"This is where you'll sleep. You can put your things here." Itachi gestured at the guest room. Kari put her bag in there. They then went to Itachi's room. There was a knock on the door, they went back down the stairs to see Mikoto open the door for Fugaku and Teyaki and Uruchi Uchiha. (teyaki and uruchi are sasuke and Itachi's aunt and uncle lol) Kari then remembered why she was invited here. Today was sasuke's birthday party. Itachi and sasuke were greeting the new comers while Kari hung back and watched.

"And who's this little lady? Itachi's girlfriend I suppose. Come here so I can get a better look at you." Teyaki beckoned her over. "What's your name?"

"Kari toshikawa." Kari did a bow.

"Uchiha Teyaki. I'm Itachi and Sasuke's uncle." He nodded his head. "This is my wife Uruchi and the man beside me is my brother Fugaku, Sasuke and Itachi's father." Teyaki explained. Kari bowed to each of them in turn. They nodded back.

"Such pretty eyes, have you ever seen that before?" Uruchi commented. Everyone even Mikoto went to look "Aren't they a pretty shade of blue?"

"Hmm. Yes." Fugaku answered. Kari felt her cheeks burning as she was being stared at. A buzzer ringing from the kitchen came to her rescue.

Now they were sitting at the table eating soba and shougayaki (grilled pork with ginger)

"Kari-san you've just became a genin right?" Fugaku asked her.

"Yes. But everyone else has been assigned to teams though." Kari answered. Fugaku nodded. Everyone was just finishing up supper when there was a knock at the door. Mikoto went to answer it and came back with a letter that she gave to Fugaku. As he read it a frown on his face formed and as he continued the frown went deeper and deeper. Before he could say anything though Mikoto came with Sasuke's birthday cake. After visiting for a while Teyaki and Uruchi left. Fugaku then beckoned Kari and Itachi into another room.

"This letter is from the Hokage. Itachi, your teammate Juntaro Imawara and his father Arashino Imawara were killed by cloud-nin while on a mission. It seems they've chosen Kari-san to be your new team mate." Fugaku summed up the letter in 3 sentences. Kari was thrilled that they finally put her on a team but sad that Itachi had lost a teammate. Itachi was upset at cloud for taking someone he cared about and that if there were a replacement Kari was a good choice. "Your sensei wants you to meet him to meet him at the training grounds tomorrow." They nodded. Then sasuke in and attached himself to Kari.

"Lets go play!" Kari and Itachi allowed themselves to be dragged away by sasuke to play with G I-NIN figures.

"I'm sorry you lost someone close to you." Kari murmured.

"Hn." Itachi answered. Kari sighed, and then got up to help Mikoto who was washing dishes. Kari began drying and putting them away.

"So you're finally coming out of your shell huh?" Mikoto asked.

"Yes. This is the least I can do for those who kindly put up with me." Kair said softly. She had been taught politeness and manners at a young age since the shrine had guests, if she wasn't she'd get a beating. Soon the two became fast friends.

Pretty soon Fugaku ordered everyone to bed. Kari laid there anxious about what tomorrow would bring, as soon as she fell asleep it felt like 5 minutes later when she opened her eyes and looked straight into two charcoal black ones. When she blinked the haziness of sleep away from her eyes she saw Itachi lying down beside her.

"G-morning." She yawned and got up. "Must you wake me up like that?"

"But it's fun, I'll have to find a new way." Itachi got up. (When I was 8 I always used to wake up my friend Colton this way when he came over. It really creeped him out)

"It's dawn you meanie! I want sleep!!" She went back under her covers. Which Itachi pulled them off her; she then curled up under her pillow. He tried ripping that off her too but she had it gripped from underneath.

"Okaa-san's cooking bacon…." Itachi really didn't want to go there.

Kari shot up "BBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCOOOOOOOOOONNNNNN!" she started drooling.

But he did "Actually I don't know if she is but you have to be up now."

Kari stuck her tongue out at him "Jerk."

"Hn." He left. Kari got dressed and zoomed downstairs with the hope that she might get bacon. Which she didn't… She sat at the table and they began to eat breakfast. They then bid good-bye to Fugaku and Mikoto. Sasuke was still asleep. While they made their way to the training grounds Kari could feel the shadows of doubt cloud her soul. She banished those feelings out of her mind, if they didn't like her so what? She didn't really care anyway. When they got to the training grounds no one was there but they were still 15 minutes early. 10 minutes later a boy that was about 12 years old with shoulder length brown hair and white eyes came over to them.

'He's a hyuga isn't he? He has eyes similar to the others.' Kari thought.

"Ohayo Itachi-kun." He said.

"Ohayo Kiyoshi-kun." Itachi said after. (Ohayogood morning)

Kiyoshi sat down beside them "Ohayo…."

"Kari."

Their sensei then decided to poof right in front of them. He was very tall, had the worst case of bed head you ever saw, with dazzling green eyes.

"Ohayo Fujiwara-sensei." Itachi and Kiyoshi

"Good, we're all here…" Fujiwara yawned. "I guess in order to make our new teammate more welcome we'll tell her a little bit about ourselves. And I guess I'l go first." He thought for a minute "my name is Enoki Fukiwara, I like sake and ketchup on everything. I hate squirrels and toasters and getting up in the morning. That's why my hair will always be like this. My dreams…well I don't have any. My hobbies are squirrel hunting and being a kickass ninja! How about you now Kiyoshi?"

Kiyoshi remained silent for a minute and spoke in his soft voice "well…my name is Kiyoshi Hyuga, I'm 12 years old. I like being a ninja and learning new things. I hate noisy places (his name means quiet!) my dream is to someday be some use to my clan. My hobbies are taking care of younger clam members and anything quiet."

"Good. Itachi-kun your turn." Enoki yawned again.

Itachi smirked seeing as Kari would know most of this already "my name is Itachi Uchiha. I like my family as well as my clan and fire. I hate it when 'the fan clubs' go after Kiyoshi and I. my dream is to be a powerful shinobi. And my hobbies…I can't think of anything other than setting stuff on fire and playing with sasuke."

"And now the little lady." Enoki stretched.

Kari took a breath "I'm Kari Toshikawa, I like children and improving my skills. I dislike girly-girls and conceited people that think they're better than everyone else until they're put in their place. My dream is to become a great Kunoichi like Tsunade-sama. My hobbies are…well…making people laugh, and pulling pranks…. also making people mad….that's all really…"

"Good. Now that we've got introductions done we're going to rain all day to find our strengths, then work on our weaknesses." Enoki stood up along with his students. "Ok first we're gonna do some scenario. Pretend this is a D rank mission, you have to deliver a package to a client." He tossed them a cardboard box. And began to walk away. The three genin followed him to a 2m deep trench that was 5m wide and 20m across. "You then have to cross between 2 cliffs by this bridge.." he pointed to many boards placed in all sorts of directions across the trench. "And there are rocks and a while bunch of nasty things down there, simulated by an assortment of traps. The only way you can complete this, is that all 3 of you and the box are on the other side. If you fall or drop the box then you start over. Ninjutsu and genjutsu is forbidden."

"Yes sensei." They all said. Enoki then perched up in a tree careful that there were no squirrels in it.

Kari, Itachi and Kiyoshi were in a huddle and when they broke it Kari was holding the box. Itachi began to test boards and make his way until he was 5 feet from the edge. Kari then gingerly put her foot on the closest board then her other. Since she couldn't use her arms for balance she went a little slower. Kiyoshi stayed close to hre rear in case Kari needed assistance. Itachi came to a halt at around halfway. Every plank that he touched in front of him had been covered in oil. "Oy! Sensei greased the planks!" Itachi began to move to the right and began to move to the right trying to find a safe path through the mess of planks but just as he stepped on one it disappeared and he fell into the trench and got blasted out by an electrical trap. Kari and Kiyoshi immediately ran up to their injured teammate.

I'm alright!" Itachi gasped out. "Just a little shaken up." He gasped. They started over once Itachi recovered. "Alright some of these logs aren't real and are genjutsu so we'll have to be doubly cautious." Itachi warned.

They all went on the course the same way they did last time until they came to the greased planks.

"How about this, Itachi and I go first then once we're able Itachi takes the box and I'll help Kari up." Kiyoshi suggested. The other 2 agreed.

Enoki was watching them as they commenced their plan. He had to admit that it was a risk but it still was a good plan. "Now lets see if it'll work…"

Itachi and Kiyoshi were on different planks, Itachi further away than Kiyoshi. Kari passed the box over to Kiyoshi who then passed it to Itachi. Kiyoshi then held out his hand for Kari to take. Kari took it and began to ease herself onto the same plank using Kiyoshi as a balance. Unfortunately as soon as Kari's foot touched the greased platform she slipped. The scenario turned out that Kiyoshi was on his stomach holding both of Kari's hands as she dangled above the traps.

"Damn it all!" Kari angrily sighed. Kiyoshi managed to get himself on his knees. Itachi had set the box down and grabbed one of Kari's hands. Kiyoshi then stood up and they both pulled Kari up. "Thank you…why did you guys help me? I'll never replace your teammate and the worst we'd have to do is start over."

"But you're our teammate now, and we have to look out for eachother. Don't forget, we have to pretend this is real so I'd have done the same thing." Kiyoshi murmured in his quiet voice.

"I see. Oh no! The box!" Kari panicked. Itachi gestured at the box sitting a few feet ahead. They then continued.

"Impressive." Enoki stated about 10 minutes later they made it across. He came down to them

"Well I have to say I'm impressed. You guys do make a good team. Now our second exercise is an obstacle course that I came up with. Now each of you will have a rope tied around your waist. This rope is wrapped around this whole course. First is the maze then the tires, net, large wall, crawl tunnel, balance beam then another more complicated maze." Enoki explained.

"Were you watching survivor again?" Itachi asked.

"Maybe I was…some of those chicks are 'hawt.' Unfortunately some of them aren't bright either. But that's beside the point. I'm testing your stealth skills and problem solving. I will be evaluating you by not only by who gets each section done first but how quietly you do it and how many mistakes are made. In ANBU you will be doing assassination missions and some may have large amounts of security. Also don't forget that if you fall off the balance beam you have to start over, no cheating! Also no nin or genjutsu got it? You may begin." Enoki finished.

They started. Kari expertly wove her way through then maze quiet and graceful as a mouse. Itachi and Kiyoshi weren't far behind but they had a rougher time of it. In another two minutes Kari finished through the maze of poles and bars.

"Sensei do I continue or do I wait?" Kari asked.

"Continue." Enoki replied. Kari did so, and crossed the tires. Itachi and Kiyoshi finished the maze and were hot on her heels. They were all climbing the net and Kari's foot slipped through a hole, she got it out but it cost her the lead. The boys were halfway up the wall when she started. In two minutes they were in the last maze all of them close to eachother and finished so closely that Enoki couldn't place them.

The sun was getting ready to set. The 3 genin were running, trying to pace themselves as they ran inside the village walls. Kari was trying to get air into her lungs, as she was gradually beginning to slow down.

"We're…almost there." Kiyosh who was the oldest was the least affected. Kari began to push herself a little bit harder.

"Good you've finished." Enoki said as they collapsed in front of him.

"Air!" Kari began to take deep breaths.

"haha very funny." Enoki replied. 'Kari's better at stealth but the boys outclass her when it comes to strength and endurance. I haven't seen her fight yet but that can wait for another day.' Enoki stretched "Tomorrow we can start doing missions.

"Why did we have to run laps?" Itachi panted.

"There will be a time when you have to run from pursuers."

"But 15 laps around the inside of the gates isn't that over doing it?" Kiyoshi asked.

"Would you rather be on Maito Gai's team?"

"NO!" both boys answered. Kari just looked confused.

"Uh…that's the guy with the green leotards right and the fuzzy orange legwarmers?" Kari asked. They all nodded and she blanched.

"Good now that you see it my way…Kari-chan do you eat much? You're a little on the skinny side."

"I don't diet! I don't want to conform! I just eat what I am able at the time." Kari answered.

"Calm down I didn't mean that. Well see you tomorrow." They parted ways.

Team Enoki had been doing D-rank missions for 2 weeks. All of them wanted something a little more exciting. They were now in the Hokage's office waiting for their next mission.

"Your next mission is a C-rank mission. The jist of this mission is to deliver this scroll to a family of blacksmiths that live in another village in fire country near the wind/fire border." The hokage explained.

"Yeah! A journey!" Kari yelled as she punched the air. Kiyoshi gave her a sharp tap on the head, a recent habit he got. "Sorry Hokage-sama."

"It's alright. I thought that you guys would want to go back to your normal missions. The mission begins tomorrow and here's the scroll Fujiwara-san." The Sandaime said.

Tomorrow morning….

The three boys were waiting for Kari at their meeting place.

"She's late." Enoki sighed.

"She probably overslept." Kiyoshi commented.

At Kari's house…

"Damn it!" Kari cursed as she began to get dressed. Kari was looking for her other shoe. **'It's under the bed.' ** A mysterious voice said. She only heard it twice before, once to tell her to kill the light kage's son and the other to buy some ramen. Sure enough her shoe was under her bed. 'Who are you?' **'Your other personality. I don't know how I got here though.' **'I see.' **'Expect me to talk to you more from this point forward.'** Her aunt left her a note on the fridge saying she left. She grabbed an apple and stuffed rations in her pack and then ran as fast as she could to the others.

With the others…

"WAIT!!" a voice called.

"There she is." Itachi pointed to the big dust cloud heading their way.

"Sorry everyone. My alarm clock broke." Kari said as she caught her breath. **'Yeah it broke alright, as your fist landed on it.' ** 'Shut up.'

"Well then lets go." Enoki started to walk. They began their journey. They were making good time and now they decided to make camp. They were all sitting around the fire now.

"So do you think we will have pursuers? I wanna kill something!" Kari was munching on some berries.

"Nah highly unlikely. If there are they'll probably be low rank and that….I hope there isn't anyway."

Itachi and Kiyoshi on the other hand were having a small competition to see who could cook the most marshmallows properly and the fastest. Though they were friends they also wanted to see which clan was better. So far they both managed to cram 10 on each of their sticks and were roasting them. Kari was looking around when she was two wiener sticks come into view.

"KYYAA!!" she fell off her log. The two boys stared at her.

"Want a marshmallow?" Itachi asked.

"Marshmallow?" Kari asked. **'They're really good!' **"Alright…" she ate one. "Mmm! It is good!" **'Enjoy the sticky goodness.'** Kari had some more.

A little while later Enoki looked at the sky "it's time to sleep now."

"There's no tents." Kiyoshi answered.

"I know. We're all gonna sleep under the stars tonight." Enoki informed them.

"Sweet!" Kari answered. They all got set up. The lay out was Kiyoshi, Itachi Enoki then Kari.

"The stars are beautiful." Kiyoshi commented. And slowly everyone fell asleep. Kiyoshi and Itachi woke up first that morning and with a little difficulty Kari was up too.

Kari had a plan to wake up their sensei "Sensei! A squirrel and a toaster!"

Enoki shot up with a stick and began to whack everything in sight. He stoped when he saw his students silently laughing at him. "You guys are cruel."

"We love you too sensei." Itachi said. They then packed up and continued on their way.

A few hours later…

"Are we there yet?" Kari asked.

"Don't even start with that," Enoki answered.

"How much longer then?" Kari asked. **'Better not be too much longer…'**

"We'll reach the neighbouring town by sunset."

Sundown…

"Are we there yet?" Kari asked.

"No."

"Are we there yet?" Kiyoshi asked.

"No."

"Are we there yet?" Itachi asked.

"No…" Enoki was starting to get annoyed.

"Are we there yet?" all 3 asked.

"YES!!" enoki roared.

"Really?" Kiyoshi asked.

"No. Now we're here." Enoki answered. They got an inn and spent a night. They were now in their room discussing their plans. "We're not going anywhere today and we still have 3 days to get there. This is a day off. Be back here in 5 hours. if anything happens use your headset."

The 3 genin split up in the town, each doing their own thing. Kari was looking at vendors and exploring for about an hour when she was grabbed roughly from behind and taken to the forest. He ripped off her headset and left it on the ground. Her attacker set Kari down in a clearing.

"Sorry about that. I wanted a more secluded place so we could train." Enoki faced her.

"Yes, but there's one small problem though." Kari smiled sweetly at him while her hand went to her kunai pouch and threw one. It nicked the side of his face as he dodged. "You aren't my sensei."

"How did you know?"

"Mere henge like that won't fool me. Your aura is different from that of my sensei."

Itachi was walking down a street when he saw Kari's headset. He picked it up and spoke into his own. "I've found Kari's headset but no sign of her anywhere."

"Any signs of a struggle?" enoki's voice was heard.

Itachi scanned the area, very faintly did he see Kari's footprints in the dirt, a heavy footprint came towards hers and the last prints looked like she was picked up in a sweeping motion. They went to the forest. "Slight signs, if she was abducted she was taken by surprise."

"Where's the location?" Enoki asked.

"Main street, across from the vegetable vendor." Itachi answered.

Itachi had a bad feeling about all of this so he ran into the forest after the tracks.

Kari was trying to fight as best as she could against the shinobi, one thing that really stuck out was the symbol on his hitae-ate, a musical note. He stabbed her with a kunai after he gave her an axe kick.

"This should knock you out for a while, at least it will immobilize you." The shinobi spoke as he held up his kunai it was poisoned.

"Simple poisons like that have no effect on me." Kari stood up as her body began purifying the poison. Kari stared at him intensely and he felt his body freeze.

_Tiger horse monkey hare dog tiger _**Demonic illusion: tree bind death**

Kari disappeared as the shinobi was wrapped around a tree; Kari came out of the trunk and stabbed him, giving him a deep wound in his back. The illusion disappeared leaving both shinobi breathless. That technique drained a lot of Kari's chakra.

The enemy stood up holding the wound "how is it that a mere genin like you can perform a technique like that?"

"I recently **borrowed** a scroll and I wanted to test it…" Kari stood up as well. "I guess a pansy would have such a weak symbol on his head band."

'I can't kill her since she's my bait until he comes but she's really pushing it.' He ran at her, his killing intent literally freezing her n her tracks. She just barely rose up her arms to block when he kicked her in the chest. She flew straight into a tree. She coughed up some blood. The shinobi ran at her again, but felt a force hit his gut and flew into a tree on the opposite side of the clearing. He looked up to see a boy standing protectively in front of Kari. "So you've finally come…Uchiha Itachi."

"How do you know my name?" Itachi spat.

"Lets just say that my boss has his eyes on you." The shinobi answered.

Kari coughed up a little more blood and tried gasping for air. It really hurt to breathe so she figured one of her ribs was broken. A little bit of chakra began to mend the bone, not so that it was completely healed but enough so that it could heal on its own.

"You will pay for hurting someone close to me." Itachi growled. He ran at the shinobi and gave him a sharp upper cut to his chin. The shinobi landed and lunged for Itachi who just barely dodged. Itachi was going to attack again when a shriek of surprise cut through the forest. Itachi turned to see Kari being held by another shinobi. The first one round-housed Itachi in his momentary lapse of focus, he hit the ground and he didn't get back up.

"It's about time Muso." The first shinobi spoke.

Kari began to struggle in the new comer's grip. "Itachi!" the man slapped her.

"Be quiet!" he pushed her into a tree. The only answer he got back was a kick in the crotch. She then ran toward Itachi but was pushed on the ground by the man she kicked. "Dosu. I'm going to kill this bitch, I don't care what Lord orochimaru says!" but as soon as he said it he was kicked off and Kari was roughly pulled up by Itachi and he placed her behind him.

"Are you alright?" Itachi asked as he turned his head. Kari involuntarily jumped. Itachi's eyes were now red and black, the sharingan, though Kari didn't know it at the time. He had two tomoe in his right eye and one in the left.

"Yeah…I'm fine." Kari answered 'what's with the lady bug eyes…' Itachi went after muso as Kari went after Dosu. Itachi used his newly acquired sharningan to perceive Muso's movements. He ducked a kick and landed a punch to his gut and he was temporarily winded.

Kari had 5 bunshins going and they kept Muso busy. Kari was in a tree above Itachi. Enoki and Kiyoshi burst into the clearing.

"Our objectives are complete." Muso said as both of them disappeared. Kari came down from the tree and ran to Itachi.

"Y-Your eyes…" Kari murmured. Enoki and Kiyoshi came over.

"What was that all about?" Enoki asked. Kari explained everything and the more she said the more Enoki frowned. "Something to report to the Hokage."

Kiyoshi on the other hand was staring at Itachi "so you now have the sharingan."

"Sharin-what?" Kari asked.

"The sharingan, the Uchiha bloodline limit. It copies techniques, helps the user eprcieve and predict attacks and other things." Itachi explained.

"Well let's get back to the inn and try to put this all behind us." Enoki sighed and they left back to the in. the mission was completed successfully and there were no other mishaps.

Never give a 6-year-old sugar. 

AN: hehe…my friend helped me co-write this one since she always has ideas… I had a small writer's block problem, this is also kind of based on what some friends did to me…so on with it…the song for this story is just like you by three days grace. This one isn't as long luckily.

The morning that our story takes place was a hectic one, Fugaku and Mikoto were to go on a mission today and they were making sure that everything was fine and that nothing was forgotten.

"Alright, Kari-chan is coming over n a bit, Itachi please make an effort this time and don't give sasuke any subliminal messages…" Mikoto said as she kissed Itachi's head and hugged him.

"Yes mother." Itachi answered.

"And you…" Mikoto turned to sasuke who was hugging her. "Listen to everything your brother says within reason. I don't want to come back and see your bum streaking around Konoha and you saying your clothes were on fire…" Mikoto chuckled. "And don't' be too much of a bother to Kari."

"Yes mommy!" sasuke squealed. Mikoto tried one more time to flatten his wild hair but no such luck. Sasuke then hugged his father who hugged back.

"You're the man of the house and we'll try to be back as soon as possible." Fugaku said and then they left.

"So what should we do now aniki?" sasuke asked. (anikibig brother ((I only put up translations just in case someone doesn't know)) )

"Watch TV." So they watched TV, then they could hear loud rock music. "Kari's here." Sasuke ran and opened the door for Kari. She stepped inside and patted Sasuke's head.

"Kari-chan I'm hungry…ni-san didn't make anything." (ni-sanbig brother as well. I like to switch between the two…plus ni's also a suffix)

"Of course." The two disappeared and came back with popcorn and pop. Sasuke then went to the bathroom.

"Do you think giving Sasuke a whole can of pop is gonna be a good idea?" Itachi asked.

"I don't see any major harm…" Kari answered **'But I do! The kid's gonna be bouncing off the walls!'** little did they know that inner Kari was right. The three resumed watching TV "Sasuke-kun what do you want to watch?"

"LOONATICS!!" Sasuke yelled making both 11 year olds wince. Upon closer inspection he was twitching like mad everywhere.

Halfway through the show…

"I LIKE TECH.E'S TAIL! IT'S SO GREEN AND FLOOFY!!" sasuke yells.

Itachi turns to his brother "Floofy?"

"Yes fluffy and poofy floofy. I'm surprised you didn't know that." Kari adds.

"You two are three kinds of crazy."

"But you love us for it."

"That annoying phone!" the tv goes.

"Now it's really green and floofy!" Sasuke points out.

'My brother's gay…he's looking at a guy's but.' Itachi hopelessly thought.

'Ok so pop wasn't a good idea…' Kari thought. **'What was I trying to tell you?!' **'Well then speak up!' **'I was yelling for Christ sakes!' **

The loonatics was over and Sasuke was gone. Itachi and Kari immediately panicked. They could faintly hear the sound of things crashing and breaking. Luckily Sasuke only got as far as the bathroom where he was pulling out all sorts of hair gel.

"Kari-kun come and play barber with me! I want you to fix my hair as a surprise for ni-san!" Sasuke chirped pushing Kari in and slammed the door in Itachi's face. But Itachi really didn't care and went back downstairs to watch TV. After an hour (sasuke wouldn't' stop running around and twitching) they now had Sasuke's hair styled the same way it is now. Before it just stuck up in all the wrong places.

"So what'ya think?" kari asked, Sasuke was jumping like a mexican jumping bean.

"It looks like a duck's ass."

"ITACHI!!" Kari roared.

"Would a cockatoo sound better?" he got a glare for an answer. "Honesty is a virtue." He mumbled.

"I like it at least." Kari gave sasuke a hug. Sasuke really wasn't aware that his rolemodel insulted him or that he was being hugged. His world was swirling around and he saw different kinds of monsters talking in different distorted voices.

"EEEEKKKK!! BOOGER GUY!!" Sasuke ran away and since he couldn't quite see he was crashing into all sorts of stuff. Itachi and Kari exchanged glances.

"You get the rope I get the brat." Itachi ordered. Kari went to get any kind of bondage she could find while Itachi went Sasuke hunting. Finding that kid was harder than it seemed…until he saw sasuke hanging from a tree in a superman cape and underwear. He opened the window and began to reach for Sasuke but the kid jumped in the room and was gone in a flash. Itachi chased him. 'Damn that kid's fast.' They chased eachother through the whole house. They were just to enter the kitchen when Kari turned the corner. All 3 crashed into eachother.

Itachi wound up on top of Kari cause he tripped over Sasuke and crashed into her. Sasuke was spread-eagled, he tried to get up but Itachi grabbed Sasuke by anything he could reach, which unfortunately was by his underwear.

"ATOMIC WEDGIE!" sasuke yelled as he fell back down. Itachi got off of poor, shocked Kari still holding Sasuke by his underpants. Kari got up and began to bind his limbs. "Hey! Before we play hostage at least let me dig out my underwear!"

'Who said we were playing?' Kari thought. **'How sadistic of you.' **'I know.' **'Poor innocent kid.' **

After Sasuke dug out his shorts they tied him up then tied him to a chair. "I say 'don't give Sasuke sugar.' You give him a pop; now look at him! Bouncing off walls in his underwear and he's gay!" Itachi starts to lose his calm demeanour.

"He's not gay, he likes floofy things see?" Kari gestured at Sasuke eyeing the Uchiha family pet, a big fat white cat.

"We have a cat?" Itachi asked.

"Yeah…he's been here for years." Kari answered.

"Total mind blow."

"Mr. Floofy-kins! Here kitty kitty kitty!" Sasuke called. Kari shook her head. Sasuke soon lost interest in the cat and went back to shaking violently, laughing maniacally while occasionally speaking in tongues.

5 hours later…

"He's still at it." Kari sighed watching Sasuke.

"Hey the patriot is coming on soon." Itachi said.

"Hmm…sounds good, but what about Sasuke?"

"That's why I want to watch it."

".. … ….. ..oh Oh!" Kari got it.

An hour into the gory goodness…

"Guys? I'm not feeling good. I think I'm gonna blow chunks." Sasuke was now back to normal. "You can untie me now!" Kari got up and took sasuke to the bathroom. 5 minutes later she came back with no sasuke.

"Where is he?" Itachi asked.

"He wanted to go to bed so I let him." Kari answered as she sat down beside him. At the end of the movie both of them were asleep on the couch in the morning both of them woke up to the door opening and Mikoto and Fugaku walking in.

"Did anything happen while we were gone?" Mikoto asked when everyone got settled in.

"Nope." Kari and Itachi said while they crossed their fingers behind them.

END

The talk.

AN: hehe this one was a little bit of a challenge for me…but the further I got the more easier it got to write…and I would never have made it if it weren't for memoirs of a geisha…I never understood the birds and the bees. The song…animal by nickelback…oh, I'm typing this for a later chapter so that anything I use here…such as aunt flow will be better understood lol.

When Kari was almost 12 her aunt died cause of pneumonia. The Uchihas were kind enough to take her in. it was now a few months after living with then that our story takes place.

Kari had been doing some light sparring with Itachi. She was beat and she knew it but there was one thing that annoyed her, ever since this morning her stomach had been aching though not enough to cause some real concern. Then as Iachi began to run at her to finish the spar all the muscles in Kari's abdomen cramped up all at once and she collapsed to her knees holding her hand to those muscles. Both boys ran up to her to find out what was wrong.

Kari pulled her hand away and everyone was shocked to find blood on her hand. Saskue and Itachi pretty much frog-marched her inside.

"Help! Kari-kun's bleeding!!" Sasuke yelled. Mikoto and Fugaku came running over.

"What happened? Explain." Fugaku spoke.

"Nothing, we were sparring and she fell to her knees." Itachi coolly stated.

"Where's the bleeding?" Mikoto asked gently. Kari reddened slightly and beckoned Mikoto to come closer. She whispered where it was and what she had been feeling. "Please excuse us for a moment." Mikoto grasped Kari's hand and led her to the bathroom. "Kari-chan…I know this sounds weird but could you take your pants off?" Kari very hesitantly did as she was asked. There was blood all over 'that' area.

"Mikoto-chan, is there something wrong with me? Am I dying?" Kari whispered horrified.

Mikoto smiled. "No. It's normal. All girls go through this at some point."

"Why?"

Mikoto put on a thoughtful look. "Well…uh…every month at a certain age…a woman's body prepares for a baby. When there's no baby this is the result.

"So how would I get the baby?" Kari asked.

Mikoto paled slightly 'I want to have this talk with Itachi too…I'll tell both of them at the same time.' Mikoto dug into the cupboard and pulled out a package of pads, explained what they were and how to put them on. "I'll allow you some time to compose yourself while I go speak to Fugaku." Mikoto left and saw all 3 boys looking at her expectantly.

"Is Kari-kun going to be alright?" Itachi asked.

"Yes she's fine. Fugaku could I speak with you for a moment?" Mikoto asked. They went to the living room. "Aunt Flow has paid Kari her first visit. I think it's time to give those 2 the talk."

"Yeah they are at that age aren't they? Sasuke should be there as well. I only ever want to explain it once." Fugaku answered.

Mikoto sighed, "He's only 7, he probably won't understand. Anyway I'll go get Kari while you explain what has happened." Mikoto left and Fugaku went back to the kitchen, Itachi heard the whole thing unknown to his parents.

"Who's aunt flow?" Itachi asked before he stopped himself.

'So he was listening.' Fugaku smirked "aunt flow visits women very once and a while. And usually her visits are horrible so women are very cranky. Your mother has a special name for it but I call it 'mad cow disease.'" Fugaku was proud of that explanation.

"So what does her bleeding have to do with this?" Itachi asked. Sasuke looked over to his father and nodded to show he agreed with Itachi.

'Oh great how do I get out of this one…' Fugaku did some quick thinking "they call her flow because blood flows out of a woman's private parts."

"Why?" both boys ask.

"We'll get to that in a moment." Mikoto came to the rescue followed by a blushing Kari. "And it's not mad cow disease, it's PMS." They were in the living room 5 minutes later.

Mikoto took a deep breath, on the outside she appeared to be nervous but really she was laughing her but off. "Ok…sasuke if you don't understand anything just ask the others…ok, when a boy and a girl love eachother very much they decide to have sex. Do either of you know what that is?"

"Heard the word not what it is." Kari stated. Itachi nodded to show he agreed with Kari.

"Well…I never really understood the birds and the bees story. Had something to do with flowers and trees." Mikoto admitted. Fugaku was hiding a laugh "so I'll tell you about the homeless eel." Mikoto sighed again "every man has an eel, only men have an eel, not women."

"Is it an electric eel?!" Sasuke asked excitedly, ah innocence.

"To the woman maybe." Fugaku answered. He earned a glare from his wife.

"Does it live in a cardboard box? And does it bum people?" Sasuke asked again.

"I'm not sure sasuke. Anyway, the eel spends its life trying to find a home. Women have the caves that the eels like to live in, but they'll only live in caves where blood flows each month. Are you getting this?" Mikoto asked. Kari and Itachi nodded. "Just because a woman's cave bleeds doesn't give her permission to let eels in, or gives eels the right to barge in. the woman has to be an adult."

The others in the room sweat-dropped at this comment, it wasn't like any of them were going to do that anyway but they listened.

"Now eels are territorial. When they find a cave they like. They wriggle around inside it for a while to be sure that…it's a nice cave. And once they feel it's comfortable they mark their territory…by….uh…" Mikoto was trying to think 'think of a bodily function!'

"Spitting." Fugaku offered.

"Yes. Spitting, also…every woman has an egg and when the spit touches this egg a baby could form, and that's all you need to know." Mikoto explained.

"Is this my eel?" sasuke asked pointing to his wiener.

"Yes it is sasuke. I'm glad someone is willing to ask questions." Mikoto said looking at the 2 teens. Kari was deep red and Itachi was processing the info he just got.

"Well it doesn't leave anything to ask." Kari answered.

A while later…

"Itachi could you come here for a minute?" Mikoto beckoned him over. She then gave him a ring. Engraved on it was a bunch of Uchiha fans and a flame border with a shuriken engraved in the middle.

"What's this mother?" Itachi asked.

"This is an Uchiha family heirloom. By Uchiha custom the male gives this right to the girl he wants to marry so I call it the 'uchiha engagement present.'" Mikoto showed him the ring on her finger; it was slightly different in design. Little did they know that Kari was spying on them.

END

Camping with the uchihas

AN: hehe this is mostly from experience again. And some stuff I've been saving for a story like this…I don't really have a song for this one though…maybe squirrelly wrath by foamy the squirrel.

Fugaku had been planning this for a long time. He never thought of it as a camping trip, he saw it as survival training for the whole family and Kari. It was now that big day. Sasuke was very excited and woke everyone up at 6:00 in the morning just as he planned. Fugaku, Mikoto and Itachi got up but Kari was another matter however, she had never willingly go up before 8 in her life.

"Mom!" Sasuke ran around the corner and into the kitchen. "I think Kari-kun's dead."

"Itachi could you get Kari-chan up?" Mikoto asked while making breakfast. Sasuke had a big grin plastered on his face as Itachi sighed and got up. This was what made mornings exciting at the Uchiha household. Sasuke followed Itachi down to the guest room and opened the door. Kari had to be somewhere in the mess of blankets that was supposed to be a bed. Itachi grabbed a handful of blankets and threw them on the floor surprisingly they saw Kari holding a sign saying '_look out the window.' _Sasuke sniggered as he sw Kari asleep in a hammock outside the window. The clone disappeared. Itachi then opened the window and greabbed Kari by the scruff of her shirt and pulled her inside.

"Where's my waffle iron?" she asked half asleep unaware that she was 2 feet off the ground. Itachi set her down.

"Okaa-san is making breakfast." Itachi left and Sasuke followed. Kari got dressed and dashed downstairs with her things.

"Eat quickly there's a truck at the headquarters ready for us." Fugaku ordered. So now they were on their way to the military police headquarters which wasn't that far from the house, but it sure seemed far when you're carrying a whole bunch of stuff. Mikoto and Sasuke got off easy they just had to carry their stuff. Kari had to carry her stuff, a tent and a few bags of food. Itachi had to carry his stuff, a cooler, a tent and a few bags of food, while Fugaku just had to carry his stuff and another cooler. By the time they got to the truck Kari was gonna pass out and Itachi was out of breath. Then they got in and began to drive away.

"Fugaku-kun can you drive?" Kari asked for Fugaku was swerving all over the highway.

"I drove this one before, hey there's the teashop, wave to aunty and uncle!" they wove to their relatives.

"HEY AUNTY! HI UNCLE!" sasuke screamed out the window. Uruchi and Teyaki waved, then as the truck drove away they shook their heads. What they saw was Itachi being squished against the window as Kari and Sasuke were waving, Mikoto sighing and Fugaku with and evil glint in his eyes. They really felt sorry for those kids, especially Itachi.

They were now out in the country being tossed in every way possible by Fugaku's bad driving.

"How about letting Itachi drive fugaku?" Mikoto asked. So they switched places. Kari put her hand on her forhead then on her chest then towards her heart then to the other side (god help us sign) Sasuke mimicked her. Itachi wanted to finger her but since his father was next to him he decided not to risk it. With Fugaku giving directions they made it just fine.

"Just what I would expect from my son." Fugaku praised Itachi. Sasuke frowned and looked away. Kari grabbed his hand and gave a grin.

'Hell's campground? I have a feeling my father has something sinister planned.' Itachi thought glancing at the sign. They finally found the perfect campsite according to sasuke.

"That one's too small, that one's too big, that has a big thing in it…hey mom why do all these places have a poop coloured blobs in them?" Sasuke asked.

"Those are fire pits sweetie." Mikoto answered. All the male uchihas got all gaa-gaa at the word fire.

"There!" Sasuke pointed. There was a normal lot but it had a trail leading to what any 8 year old would love…a playground. So they all got out. Fugaku grabbed the tents out of the back and gave one to Itachi.

"you kids get one tent, your mother and I set up the other, you've got 15 minutes. Go." Fugaku ordered.

Itachi dumped the contents out of the ground. "kari-kun start fixing the poles, Sasuke help me lay out the tent please." They did their jobs but Itachi and Sasuke beat Kari so they began to take the poles she already put together but Sasuke, eager to help grabbed one of the biggest poles that was about 2x as large as he was. It whipped through the air towards Kari who did the matrix but was bent over so her hands were touching her heels. Itachi grabbed it. "Be more careful Sasuke. Kari are you alright?" Itachi asked.

"Way cool." Sasuke commented on Kari's position. "I'm sorry."

"I feel like a pretzel…I think I'm fine." Kari tried to lift her torso up slowly but fell over. Itachi grabbed her hand and pulled her up before she hit the ground. Her back cracked and Kari felt better.

"8 minutes." Fugaku called. He and Mikoto were halfway done. Itachi let go of her hand seeing that she was blushing and began to put the poles through the loops. The others quickly joined in. soon they had the tent propped up. "5 minutes."

"Where are the pegs?" Kari aksed. Itachi lifted up the tent and grabbed the small bag. He pulled out the hammer and a peg. They made sure the tent wasn't on any rots of bushes, then they began to get the pegs in. halfway through Itachi sucked in breath in pain. He hit his hand with the hammer. But he kept on going, pride keeping him from stopping.

"Are you hurt aniki?" Sasuke asked looking at his elder brother wince as he pounded in another peg. Kari grabbed Itachi's hand and began to examine it. Her touch alone made the pain stop.

"There's nothing damaged, you hit it pretty hard huh?" Kari asked.

"2 minutes." Fugaku informed. Itachi then pounded in the last peg. "Good your finished."

Mikoto walked up to Kari "I'm going to pay for the camping space. Come with me."

"Ok." Kari and Mikoto began their walk toward the collection box, on the way they both stopped to read the bulletin about bears. They both paled considerably at the sentence 'women who are menstruating are not encouraged to go camping as the bears might be attracted by the scent of blood.'

"Are you…" Mikoto began.

"Yes, you?" Kari answered.

"Yes. Kari-chan try not to go anywhere alone just in case." Mikoto said. Kari nodded. They ran and dropped off the money and ran back out of breath. The boys already had a fire going and were setting up everything else. Kari grabbed her stuff and walked into their tent. A sleeping bag with Sasuke's teddy bear was in the middle and Itachi's to the right. Kari placed her things to the left and went back out. One thing she noticed was that the ground was scorched around the pit.

'Those boys and that fire ball jutsu…I wonder if the Uchiha ancestors are kicking themselves for passing down that one…' Kari thought. She then grabbed a chair and sat beside Itachi as they both did what they did when they had nothing to do. Spit sunflower seeds, which son turned into a competition…which soon ended up that Itachi and Kari got punished for spitting seeds at sasuke (which Itachi said they couldn't find a better moving target) so now they were at he playground watching Sasuke kick the shit out of a horse on a spring and yelling at it for bucking him off.

"Sasuke, I think the horse is sorry." Kari called out to him.

"Ok! Come play with me!" Sasuke pouted.

"c'mon." Kari pulled Itachi off the bench and to the monkey bars. To which Kari hung upside down on the bard deep in thought. Iachi was watching Sasuke go across the bars.

"Can we go to the lake soon?" sasuke asked hanging upside down beside Kari.

"Maybe, it depends on what father has planned." Itachi sighed. 'I have a feeling father has some training scheme planned for me and Kari.'

Kari slowly opened her eyes and said "Hanging upside down really helps with creativity."

"That's because blood's going to your brain for once." Itachi answered. Sasuke laughed.

"Shut up! Anyways I made up another nursery rhyme." Sasuke stopped laughing, "Little miss muffet sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey, along came a spider and sat down beside her and asked 'what's in the bowl bitch?'" both boys chucked at that one. Kari hoisted herself up but got blood rush and fell off into the soft sand. They then went back to camp. Where fugaku had a look in his eyes that all 3 learned to fear.

"Kari-kun, Itachi-kun you'll hunt for your own food."

"WHAT??!!" Kari roared. Mikoto also looked mad and whispered something in fugaku's ear.

"I kid I kid. How about some hotdogs." Supper passed by rather quickly and it was now time for bed. Kari sasuke and Itachi were in their beds asleep. It was sometime in the middle of the night when Kari woke up feeling the dread that she had to go **now**. She carefully slipped around Sasuke and began to gently shake Itachi who woke up almost immediately. He was shocked momentarily to see Kari as he was expecting Sasuke.

"What're you doing up?" he asked while sitting up.

"I…need to…use the washroom." Kari blushed. Itachi knew something was up. Kari was one who never asked favours from anyone. But knowing what she wanted he got up, careful not to wake sasuke. They were walking down the road to the outhouse. Kari slipped her hand in his and was pressed against his side. She was warily looking at the bushes.

Itachi chuckled at her antics for they just passed the bear poster. "What are you so scared of? Aunt flow is visiting I suppose. The chance of an animal attacking you is slim, and even slimmer since I won't let that happen."

Kari now felt really stupid; Itachi was sharper than that and that she got worked up about that. 'Damn hormones.' They stepped up to the outhouse and both went into the proper rooms. They then went back to camp and got some sleep. Sasuke woke everyone again, luckily a little later than yesterday. Everyone was sitting around the fire pit. Fugaku was getting ready to use fireball jutsu.

Mikoto spoke up "you know there's these wonderful things called matches." She held up the box. Fugaku took it with a frown. He pulled out a match and tried to light it but it didn't work. So soon there was a pile of matches in the fire and he was still at it. Sasuke had a piece of paper; he shyly walked up to his father and handed it to him.

"Light the paper than put it in the wood." Sasuke whispered. Fugaku did and soon there was a fire crackling merrily.

Fugaku put his hand on Sasuke's head. Mikoto had come to him saying that sasuke was distressed about living up to Itachi. Mikoto also said she had a feeling that Sasuke wanted his recognition. "You've learned much my son." They then had jiffy pop for breakfast and Fugaku then announced that they were going to the lake, which they were all at now. Sasuke was playing with Mikoto and Fugaku was giving Itachi and Kari their instructions on their training. "You both know how to walk on water but there will be a time where you will have to battle on water. Now begin!"

Kari and Itachi got into fighting stances on the water…but it was too much. Itachi in trunks in a fighting stance. Kari started laughing at how ridiculous he looked. Itachi took that as an opportunity to strike as he ran toward her. She blocked his kick but it did send her a few feet. They ran at eachother. Itachi blocked a punch from her and grabbed her arm to flip her over, which she landed and tried punching again to which Itachi just got nicked by her fist. And in that moment where her back was turned he aimed a kick that met it's mark. Kari went flying but managed to land on her feel with difficulty and was weighing options in her head. To use chakra or not to use chakra…yep, definitely chakra.

Kari began to pour chakra in her hair and ran at Itachi full force. He knew what she was up to and began to do handseals.

_Horse tiger _**Katon: Goukakyuu no jutsu **(fire style: grand fireball technique.)

With some quick thinking Kari stopped the chakra flow to her feet and she sunk in the water just as flames engulfed the area above her but it still burnt some of her shoulder. Mikoto sasuke and fugaku had been watching the fight intently along with a few others.

Itachi began to scan the surface of the water for any sign of Kari. Just when he was about to go under a burst of bubbles caught his attention. He reached in but instead of grabbing Kari he grabbed a fish instead. He realized one moment too late what happened as Kari appeared behind him and gave a round-house kick to the head. He landed head first in the water but shot up quickly. "Damn this water is cold!" Kari walked up to him.

"Y-you're telling me!" he pulled her back in the water. Sasuke ran out to join them.

"You did a good job training them Uchiha-san." A large man followed by a large kid came up to him.

Fugaku nodded "What're you doing here Akamichi-san?"

"I thought I'd teach chouji how to fish." Mr. Akamichi said. "See you at work Uchiha-san." They left.

Itachi, Sauke and Kari had been fooling around in the lake for a while when Itachi felt something tugging on his shorts then them flying off. Itachi paled and ducked down under water so that only his head was above. Kari and Sasuke looked at him curiously. "Akamichi snagged my shorts." Itachi mumbled.

"Oops! Looks like we got someone's shorts! Uchiha-san are these one of yours?!" Mr. Akamichi hollered.

After they got Itachi's shorts back they visited the showers and were back at camp. Itachi was having a nap in the tent, and everyone else was bored out of their minds, except for Mikoto and Kari who were knitting and Saskue who was watching…so actually it was just fugaku. He was thinking of was to train Kari and Itachi, each way more sadistic than the last.

"Well I suppose I'll make supper then." Mikoto informed. It was now supper and Itachi refused to leave the tent until the baited him with dango.

'Thank god we're leaving tomorrow.' Itachi thought munching on a taco. Supper went by rather quickly and they were sitting by the fire. Fugaku then remembered he brought alcohol on the trip so out came the 6 packs and because he had low tolerance to liquor he got drunk and everyone went to bed.

In the tent……

"Wouldn't it be cool if we got to shoot a bear in the face?!" Sasuke asked keeping the two teens from getting sleep.

"I suppose it would now please sleep Sasuke." Itachi responded.

"You guys suck." Sasuke sighed.

"We love you too Sasuke." Itachi and Kari answered. When everyone began to doze off….

"what was that?" sasuke asked. Kari and Itachi groaned.

"A squirrel, sleep outoto, **now**." Itachi responded. A bush crackled and then everyone became alert. Then a silhouette could be seen near on the side of the tent.

"Oh no! I've attracted a bear here!" Kari began to tremble. Sasuke excited at seeing a bear reached over her and opened the tent window…only to see his dad relieve himself in a nearby bush. Sasuke frowned as itacih said he was going to go back to sleep and that the others should do the same. They left without any incident, although Mikoto put in a word that Fugaku should be sent on more missions.

END!!!

_Wow! 18 pages!! Well I enjoyed writing them and since I went through all the trouble a few reviews would be nice. So now the stories for next filler chapter are…**cowboys and Indians, Kunoichi school, babysitting the hyugas, the three asses, Kari meet shisui, and brotherly love. **So please remember to vote, I'll also put them at the beginning of the next chapter. I have up to chapter 9 typed up so 5 reviews and I'll update super fast! _


	6. gardening and sake

_Well only one review…that's alright since I really didn't expect very many after such a long chapter…well I was bored and yeah I decided to update on this one since I'm stumped for all my other stories since I have more than half of this one in writing. I won't keep you from this…so yes please read and review please!!_

'**anything in bold thought quotes' **inner Kari

_italics is written stuff or hand seals_

**normal bold **jutsu names

**underline and bold** things that need emphasis.

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, legend of Zelda, Mario bros., Harry Potter and any other games that I use for plants. _

Kari tossed and turned I n her bed. No matter how much she tried to get comfortable she couldn't fall back asleep. She remembered that she still had to fold and put away the laundry since she let it dry overnight. So off to the laundry room she went, when she got there and looked out the window the sun had barely risen. She saw their Akatsuki cloaks hanging on a line and put it on. She could see why they liked wearing them; she put it back on the line. She then walked down the hall and heard incoherent mumbling coming from a room next door. She opened it to be assaulted with…pink…and barbies. In the middle of this horrible room was a person…at least she thought it was a person but it had a flower vase on its head.

"I eat babies and rape people in their sleep…give me your soul!" it harshly whispered. Kari just nonchalantly shut the door. And walked in the kitchen to see kisame, Kazuku, Zetsu and Sasori at the table.

"Who's the freak with the gay-ass flower pot on its head?"

"The master's mistress." Kisame answered.

"She's really creepy." Sasori added.

"She says she rapes people in their sleep." Kari commented. Everyone else shuddered.

"Well we better go, we all have missions today." Kazuku reminded the others.

"Except me…" Zetsu said.

"And me!" tobi added. The others left. Zetsu came closer to Kari.

"I have soap and I'm not afraid to use it." Kari said holding a bar of soap. Zetsu and tobi stayed at least 5m away from her. They were now at the garden, which was a group of greenhouses and a vegetable garden.

"First you have to weed and water them." Zetsu's white side spoke. Kari let out a sigh and began to weed and water the plants. The outside plants were no trouble, it was when she went inside the 1st greenhouse that things started to go downhill. Greenhouse one had an assortment of plants from 'Mario Bros.' not having played the said game she got numerous bites, which healed instantaneously. She then moved on to greenhouse two.

"Thank goodness." Kari mumbled. These plants were from 'legend of Zelda.' Kari put a barrier around herself and grabbed a hoe from hear the door. She immediately began trying to knock the 'deku bubbas' unconscious while scrubs spat out seeds which the barrier deflected and once in a while hit their owner, knocking them unconscious as well. Finally after a half-n-hour she got the majority done. Now all she had to do now were the business scrubs, luckily there were 5.

"Miss." A deku scrub called. "Beware of greenhouses 5 and 6. Do not take anything from there or Zetsu-sama will eat you." It disappeared. Kari continued on to the business scrubs.

"Hey wanna buy a watch? I've got the best." One said. Kari half interested looked.

"Hey! That's my watch you thieving bastard!"

"Gotta pay." The scrub answered. Kari grabbed her watch and punched out the scrub in one movement.

"Anyone else got stuff of mine?!" Kari asked menacingly. One scrub pulled out Mika and hid in his leaves before Kari could do anything.

"Girl. I got some joke stuff if you want to get some revenge on the men you live with." One stated. Kari looked at his inventory, which she bought at least 1 of everything.

"I've got the perfect tools for blackmail. Baby photos!" a scrub offered. Kari bought every picture. 'OMG!! Deidara and sasori were cute babies and kisame was born in seaworld!!' Kari gushed over the pictures before checking everything else and leaving greenhouse 2. As soon as she shut the door she crashed into zetsu.

"Rescue Tobi from greenhouse 3." Zetsu's black side ordered. Kari mumbled some things that I would have wrote but then I'd have to change the rating. She went inside to find….plants from harry potter. Tobi was unconscious near two mandrakes and a venomous tentacula was biting his leg. Kari smacked the head and it retreated then Kari hauled his body outside. She sighed as she sharply tapped his face in an attempt to rouse him.

"W-What happened Kari-san?" Tobi groggily asked. Kari was healing the bite on his leg.

"I don't know, a venomous tentacula was gonna eat you though." Kari answered.

"Well, lets go see what's in greenhouse 4 shall we?" Tobi stated. So they went in to see plants from Spyro, crash bandicoot and kingdom hearts.

"How does Zetsu find this weird shit?!" Kari asked. Tobi shrugged. They continued on. "Hey! a chumba wumba fruit!" Kari grabbed one.

"Begging your pardon but that's a wumpa fruit Kari-san." Tobi corrected.

"Whatever." Kari answered eating one. They continued on. Kari then saw the strangest flower yet. It was a flower in a pot but four leaves came out the bottom and were its legs.

"Hey Tobi-san! Check out this weird thing!" Kari began to walk toward the creeper plant.

"Kari-san, you shouldn't-"

"Why? What's it gonna OWW YOU SONOVA!" Kari punched the creeper plant and it crashed in the other side of the greenhouse. "Well we're done here." She said calmly. Tobi nodded.

"This is greenhouse 5." Tobi informed. They stepped inside.

"Sweet mother of gongha!" Kari and tobi exclaimed the same time. In front of them was **a lot **of weed.

'Well now I know where Akatsuki gets most of its money.' Kari thought. "Tobi-san, Zetsu-san told us to weed the plants right? Well how do we tell which from which?"

"I don't know, lets say we're done Kari-san." Tobi suggested.

"I agree." Kari and tobi left. They couldn't find Zetsu anywhere, do they went back inside the cave. "I need a bath." Kari mumbled ask she walked away. Feeling refreshed and dirt free Kari thought she'd try her hand at a soup she saw on a cooking show. She flipped though Itachi's cookbooks finally finding it. "Tobi-san! I need some help!"

"Yeah." Tobi sighed.

"Peel and cube potatoes for me please?" Tobi began to do that while Kari made the soup part.

1 hour later….

"Are those damn potatoes done yet?!" Kari asked for the 20th time that hour.

Tobi was starting to get a little irritated, "No."

"Can't you turn the heat on the stove up more?"

"No."

"Then I'll do this."

Horse Tiger 

"NOOO!! I'll check again!" Tobi stopped her from blowing up the cave. He took a piece and bit into it. "It's done."

"Now we have to dump this into that pot." Kari explained reading the recipe. They did that and were stirring it so it'd get thick again.

"Why are you cooking? Weren't you banned?" Tobi asked.

"Cause there's nothing better than having a home cooked meal after a mission. That and in my horoscope it said to do something that you aren't good at."

At that moment the leader walked in. "Come with me for a moment." Kari followed the leader to his office. "deidara told me that you're a medic." Kari nodded. "I want to test your skills. You have 30 minutes to heal this villager. Begin."

He turned on the lights and there was the villager, he had many serious injuries and from looking at him he must have been like this for a few hours and was on the brink of death. She could see some of his skull and it was fractured, he had a deep gash to his chest just missing his heart, a shallow slash across his stomach and his back along with many other minor injuries.

'Oh good lord I don't think even I can save him.' Kari bent down and began her healing. She first decided to heal his deep wound to the chest since blood was gushing out of him in torrents. She placed her hand over the wound and purple chakra began to flow and slowly heal the wound. When it fully healed she then put her hand on the wound to the stomach. After that healed she began to heal the wound to the head, the same chakra mended the bone together, the skin and made the hair grow back as though there wasn't an injury there only 4 seconds before. She then turned him around half way and healed the wound on his back.

The leader noticed something when she was healing him 'many of the smaller wounds are healing themselves as she works on the bigger ones.' Kari began to heal some shallow cuts on his limbs. When she finished with her work she looked around to see if anything else was to be done, she saw the large pool of blood around him and dug for a blood pill in her shuriken holster around her waist. She forced it down his throat with some water and soon after word some colour began to return to his face. 'She did well.' He sat down on his chair "Time is up."

'Phew. That was a good exercise.' Kari thought

"You are now our medic, you'll occasionally go on missions with the others as one of their subordinates as well as your housekeeping duties." Sir leader spoke.

"Yes sir."

"You can leave now."

Kari left and went to see Tobi. He was standing near the pot. "It's done." He informed her.

"Good." Kari said as she reached for bowls.

"Your bubble ass is eating your boxer shorts." A new voice spoke.

"Get a screw sharky." Kari answered in a bantering tone.

"I did." He said back, he sniffed the air. "You didn't cook that."

"Yes we did." Tobi answered. Kari looked at the new arrivals; they were carrying about a liquor store's worth of booze.

"What's with all the sake?" Kari asked.

"We're celebrating." Sasori answered. At her confused glance he added, "It's Friday."

They all sat down at the table and began to eat the soup.

"Its pretty good un!" Deidara said. The others silently agreed but would never admit it.

"So that's one thing you can cook." Hidan added. Kazuku opened a sake bottle along with everyone else.

In a few hours time Hidan and Deidara were playing shot for shot. Kazuku was so hammered he was yelling at his shoes thinking they were Kisame.

Kisame was so drunk he was karate chopping a bike "I WANT TO BE A NINJA!! NO SCRATCH THAT! I WANT TO BE A SHARK **AND** A NINJA!!"

Kari had her bottle in her hand sipping it and cheering on the drinking game. Sasori was beside her sipping the sake relatively unaffected. "dooo you doo this everyyy Friday?"

"30! TOP THAT DEIDAAAAARRRRAAAAA!!" Hidan blurted out.

"About once a month." Sasori answered. Kari took another swig.

'not really as good of stuff as Tsunade-shishou buys but oh well.'

Pretty soon everyone else either A) fell over and fell asleep. B) Puked their guts out 1 of the toilets or C) tripping and crashing into shit trying to find their room.

Itachi was in a corner pretty much hidden by the others 'that's why I don't drink.' He watched Kari crashing into the same wall for about 15 minutes. Out of annoyance he grabbed her hand and began to drag her to her room.

"Whaat arrre you doing?! Let goo!" Kari slurred. Itachi ignored her and continued walking. **'Dude he's helping you obviously.' **'Why? I'm just fine.' **'Take a good look at yourself. You're drunk off your rocker.' **'well then why aren't you hammered?' **'Dunno…look out you're gonna-'** Kari crashed into her door and fell over.

Itachi just looked at her and if you squinted hard enough you could see he was annoyed. 'stupid baka hasn't changed.' He smiled but he stopped when she tried getting up, he grabbed her arm and dragged her into her room.

"Oook! I'm in my room now! Bye noow!" Kari yelled. Itachi continued dragging her until they reached her bed. Which he threw her roughly on. "I'm not sleepy."

'She's to incapacitated to do anything.' He pushed her back down as she tried to get up. "You're going to sleep or I will make you sleep."

'**He'll stay till you sleep. Just listen to me and don't do anything rash!' **Kari continued to glare at his sharingan eyes. "How will you make me sleep? Will you kill me just like you did them?" She asked. She struck a nerve as she quickly found out as she found herself smashed against the wall with his hand clenched around her neck. Kari sobered up in a hurry and a few tears slid down her face.

Itachi let her go. "You don't know what you're talking about you don't even know what really happened."

"Well then tell me! Kisame was spouting out the same cock and bull story too! Get your guys' joke over with and leave me be."

"You're plastered. You wouldn't remember it by tomorrow morning." Itachi walked her to her bed again and Kari sat on it. "And who knows who could be listening. Now sleep."

'**Jesus Christ child! Look at the fix you got yourself into! Listen to him!' **'Fine.' Kari lay back down. "Don't hurt kisame."

Itachi walked out of the room 'I'll have to tell her eventually. Sooner rather than later.'

End!! 

_I really didn't like the ending…but yes this story is really starting to piece itself together…and well, I kinda had to refigure some of it after I bought Naruto comics 3 and 4, and it was for the better…I wonder if anyone's wondering just what Itachi has to say to kari…I won't wreck the surprise…only one of my loyal readers knows… till next time…(I have to get 4 or more reviews before I update.) ja for now! _

_Sakura Sama 101. _


	7. chapter that has no title cause i'm lazy

_Well here's chapter 6, I wasn't going to update until about the middle of January but here it is. Something really good happened to me and I'm updating pretty much everything. (at some point)_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto_

Things that need emphasis 

'**inner kari' **

Chapter 6 (too lazy to come up with a good title)

Kari woke up to a pounding Headache 'holy shit! I feel like I got hit by a train!' **'Yeah a hangover does that to you.' **'Not so loud! Man I can't remember yesterday night at all.' **'Maybe that's a good thing…' **Inner Kari thought. Kari forced herself out of bed and went to the bathroom. She did look like a train hit her. Almost as if on cue she had to puke. She rested her head on the cold porcelain throne "oh toilet bowl you're the only one who understands me." She then took some aspirin, but not before upchucking again and went downstairs. The others didn't look any better. Kari made some poptarts and began to do her housework.

A little while later there was a knock on the gate. Kari answered it to see Kazuku holding a dead body. Kari opened the gate a little bit.

"So why did you bring a corpse here?" Kari asked.

"I'm bringing him in for bounty in a village a few hours away. I'm just getting my things." Kazuku stated beginning to haul the body inside.

"NO! NO! You leave that thing outside! He's getting blood all over the place! You also strip down to your tighty whities cause your covered in blood too! I'm **not** cleaning this entryway again!"

"Heheh tighty whities." Sasori could be heard from the living room.

"Shut up!" Kari yelled at Sasori holding her head. Kazuku fearfully did as he was told.

Kari then left to resume cleaning the living room 'stupid! Bottles and garbage everywhere!' after about 2 hours she had the living room cleaned. She felt an annoying pimple on her face and left for the bathroom. Just as she was about to squeeze it Kisame came in.

"Yeah maybe I'll come back later…" he turned around.

"Wait Kisame-kun! I need some help." Kari answered.

Sasori, Deidara, and Hidan were walking by the bathroom and this was what they heard.

"This is probably going to hurt." Kisame was heard.

"Make it fast." Kari answered. "Harder than that!"

"But I don't want it to hurt."

"It doesn't matter."

"Come closer so I can at least reach you better." Itachi and Zetsu were now with them "ok lets try this again." Kisame's voice rang through. They heard Kari gasp. The others thinking that they were doing something naughty kicked the door down to see Kari wipe some blood off her face and Kisame running around like a lunatic.

"It exploded in my mouth!" he roared. Kari was now laughing.

"what the hell happened un?" Deidara asked.

"Kisame-kun was helping me pop a pimple." Kari explained. She got no answer "Holy hell what time is it?!"

"Wednesday the-"

"Shit!" Kari ran off and came back in clothes Mika in tow.

"Where you going?" Hidan asked.

"To pick up something." Kari walked past them.

'From the looks of it she didn't remember yesterday.' Itachi vaguely thought. The others followed Kari.

"We're coming because we're bored." Hidan said.

"Whatever." They walked to the town. Mika with them chasing butterflies and waging her tail happily. First thing they did as soon as they reached the town was to go to the weapons store where Mamoru was waiting for them with Kari's bow in hand.

"You're late." Mamoru said as he handed her the bow.

Kari drew it back "I know, I forgot. Hey old man you added extra!"

"I know. You can pull it can't you?" Mamoru shook his head.

"Yes."

"Well then stop whining."

Kisame and the others guffawed at the fact that Kari just got told. A glare instantly shut them up. "So what's this archery contest festival thing?"

"What festival?" Mamoru asked. Kari sighed he was always forgetting things and being delusional "Come on lets go to the target range behind the shop."

The target range was built for all weapons in a way it was more of a training ground. The group walked over to the archery range. Kari grabbed an arrow and put it on the string and bent it back.

"Aim for the farthest target to the right." Mamoru instructed. Kari did so and hit the bullseye. "have you been practising with 2?"

"Somewhat." Kari put 2 arrows on and shot them at another target. They both hit the middle ring.

"Well all seems to be in order." Mamoru said walking back to the shop.

"Shoot again!" Kisame was starting to get into the shooting. Kari smirked and shot another arrow that cleaved the one in the bullseye clean in half.

"You don't know how much blood, sweat and tears I did to get that good." Kari sighed pulling the arrows out. "When I started out I really sucked, I practised and all that junk. Come on we have to do errands." Kari began to walk away 'i needed remedial lessons and that sucked.'

So they got groceries and all that and were back in the lair taking the newly bought Eki-Kyabe(1) for their hangovers.

_END! _

_1. eki-kyabe is a medicine used for indigestion and according to XXXholics hangovers too. _

_Well don't forget to review. Funnily enough I have almost all of it written yet so little posted. All I ask is a good amount of reviews (which means over two!! Though thanks for reviewing Luna.the.betrayed.ninja and Brittany-chan!) but just so that those who do review don't suffer I'll update in exactly one month from today if i dont' get the desireable amount of reviews. Buhbye for now! _


	8. a unexpected visit and akatsuki's flower

_Another day and another chapter…this is where everything starts to turn around, I just want to say how this part came about, at first I thought I'd just make this a story with funny encounters with being Akatsuki's maid but then I was talking to a friend and other ideas started popping in my head, namely a better plot line than what I began with but still allowed me to continue with the beginning until I could get around to writing the middle. And I'm not spoiling the rest for you but if you read carefully I do somewhat hint on what might just happen and not in this chapter but the ones before it as well…alright enough babble lets get on with it shall we? _

_Disclaimer: don't own Naruto. _

'**inner Kari' **

**things that need emphasis**

_writing. _

It was now around 3 months since getting Kari's bow and during that time Itachi had been looking for an opportunity to tell her the thing he keeps mentioning.

Kari had heard no word about any sort of mission or word from the leader either, that is until Kari and Itachi were summoned to his office.

"Kari-san, you are now Itachi-san's subordinate." He paused for a dramatic effect, how he loved toying with people's fragile minds. Why do you think his partner wears a flower pot? "Itachi-san you know about having a subordinate and what's involved, and Kari-san I'll make this easy for you, I know about your bad blood and honestly I don't care but you listen to everything he says without question got it?"

"Crystal clear sir. But one question, what if he asked me to be in his room nude and submit to him." Kari asked. **'God you are stupid!' **Inner Kari slammed her door shut.

"Then don't be too loud, there are other people here too." Sir leader answered. 'If he got laid then he would probably show emotion and not be so stuck up, he'd probably talk more too.'

Meanwhile the other two sweat dropped. Inner Kari decided to come out again **'Lemme at them!' **'….'

Meanwhile Itachi got the chance he was looking for. "And also, you will accompany Itachi-san and Kisame on missions whenever you can, possibly other members if a medic is in the best interests of the mission, though Itachi-san has to accompany them with you. Understand?" Leader explained.

"Yes sir." Kari and Itachi answered.

"You may go then."

Kari and Itachi left 'Why am I his subordinate?! Anyone else and he pairs me up with him!' **'Crazy I tell ya.'**

"You'll begin your training with me on your first day off." Itachi stated.

"Hai." Kari answered emotionlessly. On the inside she was still pissed. He walked ahead and Kari turned to the left and began to do her housekeeping duties.

* * *

Kari was now vacuuming the living room carpet where almost everyone else was except for Hidan who was doing his ceremonies, Kazuku who was doing the accounting and Itachi who just disappeared. They all noticed that Kari liked to sing when she did her job; luckily she did it on commercial breaks. She wasn't half bad either.

"Must you do that?" Kari asked Kisame who was running around dragging a blanket, which Mika was chasing.

"Yes." Kisame answered.

Kari just shook her head "Mrs. Landers was a health nut she cooked food in a wok Mr. Harris was her boyfriend and he had a great big cockadoodledoodle that rooster just won't quit and I don't want my breakfast because it tastes like Shi Tzu s make good house pets they're cuddly and sweet, monkeys aren't good to have cause they like to eat their meeting in the office, meeting in the hall the boss just wants to see you so that you can lick his ballzack was a rider, he lived with Alan sponge Mrs. Roberts did not like him but that's cause she's a **cunt**amintated water really makes you sick your bladder gets infected and blood comes out your dictate what I'm saying it'll bring you luck and if you do not like it I don't give a flying fuck!" she quietly sang.

The others just stared.

"Oh un! It's from south park un!" Deidara said. The others went back to their program. Mika collapsed on the floor long ago. Kari scooped her up and took her outside.

* * *

Later that night Kari was writing letters in her room. She looked at the letter she got from Kurenai, they had been friends from a long time ago (when I post chapter 10 I'll put in the story of how they met) Kari wrote back

_Dear Kurenai-chan,_

_I hope you're faring well, I could be doing better but fate is twisted. How are you doing now along with Kakashi-san and the others? Well I have some good news; I plan on coming back to konoha soon. The bad news is that I don't know if I can or when and it'll probably take place sometime in the summer. I can't really say what's going on these days. I'm currently working, and once I get enough money I'll be coming back for good. Sorry for such a short letter but I promise to write a longer one next time._

_From Kari_

She placed that envelope next to Tsunade's letter. She was about to open Sasuke's letter when something that felt like a white-hot knife slice through her abdomen. "Sonova!" Kari hobbled into the bathroom through a door in her room clutching her stomach. "Damn you aunt flow damn you!"

With the others…

"Did you hear that?" Hidan asked.

"566,567,568-" Kazuku counted money

"Shut up!" Hidan yelled.

"Bitch." Kazuku answered.

"It sounded like screaming."

"You're hearing things." Zetsu's white side spoke.

Kari immersed herself in the balmy water. She started to think about the mess that she got herself into. By being a subordinate and Akatsuki's medic did that mean she was betraying Konoha? A feeling in her gut said she was. She dunked herself till only her eyes could be seen. She'd have to talk to the leader, although she didn't dare speak a word about Konoha she still felt uneasy. Then there was the fact that she was his subordinate. Now there was a dull pain and Kari took the last of her meds, waiting for them to kick in. about two hours later she stepped out looking very much like a prune.

She walked down the tunnel after changing into PJs. Her feet tapped the hardwood floor with every step. Kari finally got to his office and knocked on the door.

"Enter." Said the suave voice, Kari hesitantly stepped inside and looked braver then she felt. They were silent for a minute.

"Ano leader-sama, if I am to be a subordinate of yours I am **not** going to going to betray Konohagakure or any of their allies nor will I let you harm them, I don't want to scratch my forehead protector either." Kari stated her terms.

"I don't plan on attacking Konohagakure or sunagakure for a long time. By the time I do you'll have already quit." The leader answered.

'Thank god.' Kari sighed in relief. "One more thing, I'm not feeling well, can I have a sick day tomorrow?" the leader nodded. Kari bowed and left. She then made some tea and went to bed.

Tomorrow….

It's noon, she should've been down here by now." Sasori stated.

"I'll go see if she's ok." Kisame said then left. There was silence and Kisame came back "She said she's having a day off from washing our dirty underwear. She locked her door but she sounded like she was in slight pain." Itachi then left.

Kari was lying down on her bed trying to keep her mind away from the pain in her lower abdomen. Then her door went crashing down. Kari shot up and instantly fell down again due to a burst of pain, "Whatd'ya want?" she groaned knowing who it was. She got no answer; instead she was put on his back. "Itachi Dudley Uchiha put me down!" she regretted struggling and went almost limp except for beating her hands on his shoulder "I can walk I'm fine! Put me down!!"

He continued to walk down the hall ignoring her "still bitchy at that time of the month?"

"Hell yes! Put me down! Don't make me start kicking you!" Kari paused "wait hold up! How the hell do you know that?!"

Itachi hned. "The only time you'd ever skip out on any physical labour including getting out of bed was when she visited."

'Smart ass.' Kari thought **'Itachi-1 and Kari-0 in your face!' **'Shut up will ya?' Kari sighed "so where are we going since you won't let me down?"

"The doctor."

"Why?" Kari asked. They stepped outside, 'maybe he needs moral support? Not that I'd willingly give it to him.'

"Cause you don't have painkillers. You would've at least got out of bed if you had them."

"So why go through the trouble?"

"Because I didn't kill the Uchiha clan." It was silent "And let me explain before you pass judgment."

"Alright…" Kari sighed, she owed him that much even if he was lying through his teeth.

"It was just after our last mission together, you got poisoned by that specially made poison after fighting the sound. Orochimaru planned to get my body so he could have the sharingan and he failed, but he still had a few things to do. First he somehow roped Shisui into joining him." Itachi started.

Kari tried to remember that far back and then remembered being scratched with a kodatsu covered with poison, she saw Itachi standing protectively in front of her and was facing off against a purplish blob that had black hair. That was definitely orochimaru, other ninjas were there but they were fighting elsewhere. Then something occurred to her that happened not to long after that "So that means…Shisui didn't commit suicide?"

"Exactly, he joined Orochimaru." Itachi answered.

"So he could have the Sharingan now that he had Shisui."

Itachi smirked and looked behind at her. "Not quite, Shisui told Orochimaru about the Mangyekou Sharingan and how to get it, which is by killing your closest friend. Orochimaru wanted all the aspects of the Sharingan. On the day that Shisui supposedly died I was to spy on Orochimaru. I did that but not finding him until the night of the Uchiha clan massacre. That is when I found Shisui, I fought him and I killed him and got the Mangyekou sharingan. But I was too late. Shisui told me that Orochimaru intended to wipe out the Uchiha clan, I can only guess why though. He purposely sent Shisui to his death and once he got his sharingan anyone with the sharingan would be a threat, plus the Uchihas knew what he was planning and were going to put a stop to it. He didn't want that."

"So why did he leave Sasuke alive?" So far Kari thought it made some sense and she couldn't sense any lie detecting signals.

"In case his plan with me failed. Which it did, Sasuke is now Orochimaru's next target, and we can't let him have Sasuke."

Kari had one last question "Why did you join Akatsuki?"

"Because Orochimaru was there and I wanted revenge. He did try to take over my body again and he failed, he left because he realized he would never get it because I'm too strong, now he's after Sasuke, I stayed because I have nowhere else to go."

Kari tried thinking of other questions but they were already answered by either her own inner or what was already said. Now was a hard choice, should she believe him? She never wanted to hate him or accuse him of such a crime and they both have the same enemy and she'd also have her friend back, then her brain kicked in and was spouting stuff about what if he was lying would you want your heart broken again? **'Shut up! Lets believe him and see how this goes and if he gives us a reason not to believe him then we do something!' **Kari smirked "I guess I'll believe you for now."

Itachi was relieved to hear those words. Kari shifted her weight a little trying to get comfortable and thought about how mean she had been. "I'm sorry."

"Forget about it."

"Can I walk now? I swear there's no more cramps."

"No."

"Grr!" He was teasing her and she knew it 'well at least I got a free ride..' they were now about 5 minutes outside the town. "Have you heard anything about Orochimaru?"

"I've heard he plans to strike Konoha."

They were passing a drugstore "Wait! Stop here!" they sell drugs in here!" Kari got a few looks at that comment. They stepped inside. Itachi grabbed a basket after pushing Kari up higher. Kari knowingly used her legs to keep herself up, as Itachi needed both hands now. And there was no way he was going to let her down since he is so damn noble or cruel depends on how you look at it. Kari winced, she didn't want down anyway.

"We also need to re-stock in medical supplies." Itachi informed. He grabbed bandages and gauze, disinfectant, ointments and scar cream. Kari had also been looking for her own list. She shamelessly grabbed a package of pads as Itachi walked pas them nearly causing them to fall.

They were looking for the painkillers now. "There it is! Midol!" they put that in the basket, paid for it and they were now sitting on a bench outside. Kari swallowed 2 pills. "I've missed you meds!"

"You sound like an addict." Itachi emotionlessly stated.

"I know I am." Kari answered. Itachi began to walk away. Kari ran after him "hey! what about my piggy back ride!"

"You're fine." Itachi answered. Kari glared at him for most of the way back. "I know I'm sexy stop staring."

'AAARRRGGGHH!' **'Itachi-2 Kari zipola!' **'Shut up you! I oughta smack you both-'

"Kari-kun-" Itachi began THUD! Kari walked into a tree 'why do I bother?'

Kari continued walking and went in the base; only to be greeted by a very muddy Mika. 'Bath time.' They walked into the cave "So…"

"What?" Hidan asked.

"Who did it?" Kari pointed to Mika. Everyone pointed to Kazuku who began to protest "Who really did it?" Silence. 'Fine if they want it that way…' Kari punched Kisame in the head.

"Hey! it was an accident!" Kisame yelled. Kari ignored him and took the dog to the bathroom. About half an hour later Mika came running out soaking wet to the living room where she began to rub herself off on everything in sight

"What's your problem?" Sasori asked the god. The god shook herself off for an answer.

Kari ran in with a towel. "I don't think I have enough meds to deal with you guys…"

"I feel offended un." Deidara commented.

"I'll make supper after I shower." Kari left.

Strangely enough while she was gone the lair felt empty…and cold. Her presence made the cave a better place; it felt like a home, she truly had become…Akatsuki's flower.

_Well this is the end of this chapter, like always it'd be nice to have over 2 reviews. I'll automatically update at three. So please do this for me. And I decided for the 10th chapter that I'll choose the stories since I forgot to post them, well that's all I have to say for now. DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!!_


	9. sparing and pocky?

_ZOMG!! I love you all!! 4 reviews and only the first day!! Well that totally made my day! And since you've all been so kind in reviewing I'm updating this…so my theory must be alright or at least makes some sense! I also wanted to clarify a slight mistake i made in the first chapter...Kari is 17, and when I wrote "the last three years took her to hell and back" i didn't mean she began to travel when she was 14, it was jus the 3 years after the Uchiha clan was massacred. I realized this mistake just a little while ago and i just wanted to clear that up. now on with the chapter!!! _

_Writing and handseals_

'**Inner Kari' **

**things that need emphasis**

**Jutsu names. **

_Disclaimer: I no own you no sue…_

Chapter 9

Sparing and…pocky?

Kari had big plans on her day off…to sleep in till 2 then sit and read. But someone else had to ruin her plans. At dawn Itachi came in and placed a remote control snake that he "borrowed" from Kisame at the end of her bed. He fiddled with the controller and the snake began to move around. Kari smirked then frowned and screamed as she shot up off the bed. Itachi was smirking at her. "Good morning."

"I freaking hate you…" she the threw the toy at him and cast a glare but just having been woken up it looked more like a constipated lack of sleep pout.

"You forgot, today's training." Itachi stated. Kari groaned. Itachi handed her a parcel "your uniform. Do what you need to do and meet me in the training room." He left. Kari did her morning routine and put on her uniform to try it on. it had black slightly baggy pants, a black tank top, a coat that went down to her hips and was embroidered with the usual red clouds, she didn't get a cloak like the others, they were originally intended for colder weather but the others had uses for them, so they made a habit of wearing them all the time. She had to admit; the Akatsuki knew the meaning of comfort. She took off the tank top and put on a shirt with net sleeves saying 'I am a bomb technician, if you see me running try to keep up.'

'Cool.' Kari thought happily to herself. She made her way to the room, it was fairly large, it was made of a strange material that if touched with chakra it would absorb it and convert it to electricity, thus how the cave was powered. Kakuzu wasn't very happy about spending about 500 000 dollars on it but after a few temper tantrums he finally realized how good this would be (they basically had to beat the sense into him.) Itachi stood there waiting for her.

"First we'll spar." Itachi deadpanned.

'**Lets kick some ass cha!' **'And show how much stronger I've become.' Kari got into a fighting stance. Itachi just lazily stared. In the next moment, faster than eyes could blink, he struck her. She flipped and landed on one hand and flipped back up instead of crashing into the wall. He ran at her again but this time she was ready for him, he sent a punch her way and she blocked and sent a kick trying to get some space in between them. He jumped and Kari took that as an opportunity to do the middle index cross seal and created 10 kage bunshins (1), she then jumped up to a railing up top and masked her chakra as she prepared for her next move.

"Is that all?" Itachi asked. Standing there as he defeated the last clone. Kari threw 2 kunai, each narrowly missing him but covered him in white pieces of confetti. Itachi began to try and brush them off but Kari threw a kunai with an explosive note attached and immediately activated a chain reaction. Itachi figured it out the moment she threw it and jumped and made it out of the worst of the explosion but still got hurt by it, he landed on his feet, slightly smoking. Kari jumped up from the rail and landed next to him and smirked.

"Is that all?" she mocked. 'Sakura Fubiki no Jutsu (Cherry blizzard technique) gets them everytime.)

Itachi knocked her feet from under her "Hand-to-hand." Itachi answered. Itachi aimed an axe kick to her head, which she rolled away from and did a backwards handspring to get on her feet and ran at him. Kick, block, punch, elbow, knee, block. Kari aimed a kick, which caught Itachi in the ribs, he quickly recovered and aimed a kick and as Kari prepared to block it he switched and punched her in the face which sent her reeling back. Kari wiped the blood from her lip and decided it was time to play dirty. "No biting." Itachi said as though reading her thoughts.

"But that's what makes it fun." Kari said while aiming a punch that hit his shoulder.

"No that's what makes you get a tetanus shot 3 years too early." Itachi aimed a kick at her chest, she dodged but Itachi followed up with a leaf whirlwind, thus sending Kari to the wall.

Kari shakily stood up, "You're no fun as usual."

"Lets see how far your genjutsu has improved since we battled last."

Kari sighed. _Horse, tiger, boar, rat, dog _**Seven sins punishment no jutsu. **Itachi was put in a hot humid room. A man dressed in blood red robes and black wings came in, he pulled out a sword and with out a word began to chop random things off. Itachi screamed and the pain he felt was unbearable. He could see his live blood flow from his arms, which were first chopped off from the hands then after the winged man chopped of his feet he hacked off his arms up to his elbows. He could feel the world slowly turning black as he was going to die from blood loss, and he wanted to die but something was keeping him alive, after what felt like ages he was released.

Itachi panted slightly and felt his arms and legs, which weren't hacked to bits next to him and were thankfully on his body. "so I'm assuming that it was good." Kari said cricking her shoulder.

"My turn." Itachi made her look into his eyes. Kari found herself bound on a giant cross like how Jesus Christ was crucified. "this is the power of my Mangekyou Sharingan, I control everything here, and make people feel something of my choosing for 72 hours in a matter of seconds."

Kari felt an evil aura behind her and stiffened. "The evil over lord of darkness is behind me isn't he?"

"I love you! You love me! We're a happy family-"

"NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

After 72 hours of being with Barney Kari was too traumatised to continue. For lunch they ordered out.

"Hey you hypocrite, you painted your nails." Sasori commented.

"I didn't do a good job plus it's dark blue so it's masculine." She held up her fingers she got more on her skin than the nail. They were all playing Texas Holdem except for Kari and Deidara. Both had a dislike for the game.

"I'm out." Kisame said.

"What do you mean out?! You have the most chips!" Hidan answered.

"He means he's finally came out of the closet and admitting he's gay!" Kari chirped. Kisame punched her in the head.

"I'm folding dumbasses." He answered.

Deidara pulled Kari to the living room. "What's your opinion on art un?" Deidara asked.

Kari just stared. "Depends, I think of art as both…somethings are meant to be short lived and some things are meant to last." They both sat down and watched TV.

"Hey un! Inuyasha's on!" Deidara said excitedly.

Kari got teary-eyed "You love that show too?"

"Yeah un! But the others despise it un." The both of them grinned evily.

* * *

The others were having an intense match and ace of hearts a jack of clubs and a 10 of hearts were on the table. Hidan also had 2 hearts in his hand; he made a bet, a high one at that. Everyone folded because they thought that it was a high posiblity of Hidan having a flush except…. 

"Call." Itachi stated. He had pocket rockets (2 aces) another card was down and it was a 2 of hearts. Hidan put 200 in chips out and Itachi called. The final card was about to be placed when…

"I WANT TO CHANGE THE WORLD! JOUNETSU-"

"DEIDARA!" Kakuzu and Hidan roared. Deidara and Kari were singing along to the theme song.

"KARI!!" Kisame bellowed. The singing was replaced by laughter and they gradually turned the volume down.

"That was awesome un." And thus they began to watch their show. It was now commercial break. "I have some pocky in my room, do you want some un?"

"What's…pocky?" Kari innocently asked. **'I'm about as stumped as you.' **

The others were still playing poker when they heard Deidara's voice yell "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT POCK IS UN!!??" the others knew about Deidara's pocky addiction and since they were tired of poker they decided to investigate.

"I saw a picture of Miroku and Inuyasha kissing and it said 'Poky is best when shared.'" Kari was slowly inching away from Deidara as the others came in.

"She doesn't know un! How could anyone not know about pocky? Help explain un!"

"It's a candy with wafer and icing." Sasori said.

"These?" Kari held up candies that looked similar to kit kats except they were wider and shorter called wafer crisps.

"Diedara just go get them!" Kakuzu angrily sighed. Deidara left and came back with a small package.

"This is pocky." Tobi sighed.

"Oh." Kari took one and had a bite "It's good." **'It is!' **'You aren't even eating it.' **'We're connected in more ways than by thought.' **

A little while later…

Kari grabbed some hygienic supplies and made her way outside "I'm going for a walk." She got no answer. She made her way to a hotspring by a waterfall. After getting undressed she cannonballed into the river from which the waterfall flowed. "Ahh! My ultimate way to purification!" She swam to the rock placed underneath the waterfall. 'I'm still tainted from the maid outfit.' She climbed on the rock and began to meditate.

* * *

Kisame, Deidara and Sasori (who was dragged in by Deidara) were in Kisame's room plotting. 

"So why would making him do that have any effect?" Sasori asked as they went over their TOP secret plan.

"Hormones." Kisame answered.

"So why am I here?" Sasori asked.

"Because we need 3 people to be in a group." Kisame answered.

"What if I don't wanna?" Sasori asked.

"We have cookies Sasori-danna un!" Deidara answered.

"That's Gaara dumbass." Sasori yelled.

"See I told you Deidara! Well we still have Hiruko then." Kisame held up Sasori's puppet.

"Let our INTGL club commence!" Sasori un enthusiastically cheered. "Wait you know there are risks involved."

"Yeah but anything to make him less creepy un!"

* * *

Kari dived into the hotspring and did her bathing routine and was back on her way to the cave. She made it to her room and got in her PJs. She then sat at her desk and read her last letter which was from Sasuke. 

_Dear Kari, _

_I am half a year away from graduating and one step closer to getting strong enough to beat Itachi. Nothing too serious has happened here. what have you been up to and are you coming back soon? Tell me about some of the places you've visited. I'm fine along with Mr. Floofykins. I have nothing else to say so I'll end it here. _

_Sasuke _

Kari grabbed a pen and paper and scrawled down…

_Dear Sasuke,_

_Good for you! Well nothing has happened to me so far, I travelled to tea country and rain and a bunch of other places on my way back but unfortunately I ran out of money about half way home so I'm currently working as a housekeeper for a rich family. Don't laugh! I'm humiliated enough. But I got interesting news, Itachi isn't your biggest enemy right now, Orochimaru the missing sannin is. He's after you or to be more precise your body and sharingan. Do not let him be alone with you and don't let him get your body! Along with that he has also done a terrible crime to the Uchiha. I won't say what it is just yet. If you hear any word about Orochimaru planning to attack or anything of that sort write to me and I'll come back immediately. I also might come sometime in the summer if my employer will let me…Also Orochimaru destroyed my old village so that's why I'm after him. Till next time…_

_Kari. _

Kari sighed as she grabbed the letters she got and put hem in a drawer and put the ones she wrote back in her coat pocket where she'd deliver them tomorrow. She lay down on her bed and went into a light sleep.

* * *

_Since I didn't mention this in the beginning of the chapter I just thought I'd mention it now…I didn't realize that I was spelling Kakuzu wrong…I just heard the name and I thought 'wow they're saying it wrong…' but then I flipped through my notes and realized I was the one spelling it wrong…I also used to spell Fugaku Fukagu but I corrected it before I posted it. Well like always it'd be cool to have over 2 reviews before I update, and chapter ten is over half way written and I'm not making it as long as chapter 5. That was weird. _

_Kage bunshinshadow clone (just in case someone doesn't know…) _

_SO I NEED OVER 2 REVIEWS BEFORE UPDATING!! THANK YOU TO ALL WHO SUPPORT AKATSUKI'S FLOWER! _

_Sakura Sama 101 signing off_


	10. filler chapter 2

_Hey! I'm back with another filler chapter…well I'll say more about each story as I get there, thank you very much for the reviews! _

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto_

_Written stuff or handseals_

'**inner kari in kari's mind' **

"**Inner Kari speaking through Kari to peeps." **

Things that need emphasis 

Kunoichi school

_AN: don't ask how I got this idea…I just figured there had to be a special school for Kunoichi and I guess I was right in a way…plus I think this is a good way to show Kari's character at some point. _

* * *

Mikoto wanted to meet Kari's guardian for a while and along with them she also invited Enoki who also wanted to meet her along with a few other people to welcome her to Konoha.

"Oba-san are you ok?" Kari asked. Her aunt was coughing.

"I'm not as young as I once was." The old woman took a strand of grey hair out of her eyes. Kari nodded. They passed by a group of girls, all of them glaring at Kari. When they were a little ways away Kari sneezed.

'I have a feeling I'm being plotted against…' Kari thought.

"What did you do to those girls?" her aunt asked.

"I don't remember doing anything to them Leiko-chan."

They were now at the door of the Uchiha compound. "Kari-chan, don't fidget."

"But it itches!" Before neither of them could speak again Mikoto opened the door.

"Welcome!" she let them in. "Kari-chan you look very nice."

Kari had been discretely trying to scratch her itch; she was wearing a brilliant blue kimono that had bright yellow flowers along the sleeves and chest with their petals falling downwards to the bottom. "Thanks."

"Kari-chan why don't you look for those 2 boys." Leiko spoke.

"They should be playing out back." Mikoto said.

Kari silently sighed "Alright…" she then left.

Mikoto then led Leiko to the terrace where there was a table with people already there.

Kari found Sasuke and Itachi plotting in the back yard. Their new experiment…does mentos and cola mix?"

"Kari-chan!" Sasuke ran over and gave Kari a hug.

"Just in time" Itachi held the mentos over the bottle. "Get cover!" He dropped it and they all dived in a bush. A 15ft high geyser of pop shot in the air.

"Wow! Lets do it again!" Sasuke yelled.

"Kari!! Sasuke!! Itachi!!" Mikoto called. The three reluctantly went over to the others. Kari went to sit by her aunt. She could see Enoki-sensei failing to keep in his laughter. She wished she could fail in trying not to hit him….the others at the table were identified as Mrs. Nara, Mrs. Akamichi, Mrs. Yamanaka, and Mrs. Noriyama. Fugaku was there also though it was against his will…

"Are you from the Hyuuga clan Toshikawa-san?" Mrs. Nara asked.

Leiko looked a little confused, Kari gestured to her eyes. "What? Oh no…I'm not, everyone from my village is born like this."

"Your niece isn't." Mrs. Akamichi pointed out while munching on a cookie.

"It's a birth defect, recessive genes, it happens every once in a while. "Kinda like a reverse albino, in fact Jiraiya-sama's mother came from the same place I did, but his father is from here, that's why his eyes aren't like mine…'

'Dude…I forgot about ero-oji-san…' Kari thought to herself. **'But yah know he isn't your uncle.' **'Yeah he's my great half uncle…'

"So Kari-chan, are you in the Kunoichi school?" Mrs. Yamanaka asked.

"No…" Kari said cautiously.

"You should enter her Leiko-san, there's no fees."

"I think it'd be a good idea." Enoki added.

"I work there, and we're almost full, I can register her." Mrs. Noriyama offered.

'**Run!! Grab your aunt and lets get the hell out of here!!" **'For once I agree with you." Kari put on a small scowl.

"Kari-chan, you'd get to meet other girls. You wouldn't want to hang around me and the boys all the time would you?" Enoki asked.

'I'm going to kill you sensei…just you wait…screw other girls I'm already pissed with just the guys…'

"Now, now…lets let Kari-chan choose. She's the one who has to go." Mikoto spoke.

"I guess I'll go, but if I don't like it I'm leaving." Kari stated. Her aunt shook her head, that's her Kari alright. Kari reached across the table for the teapot and poured herself a cup. Sasuke was nestled in Mikoto's lap and he nabbed one of Kari's cookies. Itachi was standing behind Kari. Mrs. Nara noticed this.

"Those two make a cute couple, you're going to have some cute grandchildren Mikoto-san." Mrs. Nara spoke. Kari drank her tea in one gulp and began to choke on it.

"Smaller swallows child!" Leiko scolded half-heartedly. She almost choked on her own tea too.

"Yes…some refinement never hurt anyone, especially one who has the Uchiha Clan so interested in them." Mrs. Noriyama stated. Kari put on a scowl. She glanced at Itachi who was looking at her.

Kari let out a belch "Re-fine-ment? Oba-san what does that mean?" She knew but she wanted to tease everyone. Her aunt bowed her head in embarrasement.

'If they send her to that school, she'll either kill them or they'll kill her or maybe if fate is really cruel…they'll kill themselves.' Itachi grimly thought.

"The first day is tomorrow." Mrs. Noriyama left.

"Kari-chan, Itachi-nii lets go play!" Sasuke whined. Kari bowed and left. Itachi followed. During all this time Fugaku was looking for a chance to escape and this was it.

"Well…" he got up and began to walk away "I'm going to go hit the dusty trail…" and he walked out of the room. He learned a valuable lesson **NEVER** be honest when answering a "does this make me look fat?" question.

The next morning Kari got up for the first day. 'I'm doing this for the Uchihas.' Kari dressed in black windbreakers and a black tank top. She strapped on her shuriken pouch, which was also her CD player holder. Her aunt was at the table and Kari sat down.

"You look like you're going to a funeral." She commented.

"I am, my soul just died." Kari answered.

"Now, now it's not going to be that bad, it's only for 2 months and I met some of my greatest friends that way."

"Hn." Kari ate her breakfast, said her goodbyes and left. She walked over to the academy and to a classroom that was loaded with girls. She took a bench where no one was sitting. She was hit in the head with a wad of paper. Kari glared at the people behind her. She made an invisible barrier around herself and drifted off. A shriek woke her up, and she turned around to see a girl prying sticky paper off her face. An old woman walked into the room

"Settle down!" All the class looked alert except for Kari, she was out cold on her desk. The old woman rapped her ruler on the desk, she didn't even flinch, and then she saw the problem, she yanked off her headphones and Kari woke up instantly. "Now that I've got everyone's attention lets begin." Kari scowled. "I will be teaching you history now."

Half way through the lesson….

"Kunoichi are usually spies, messengers and observers. What they don't make up in body and strength they do in mind and wit. Some of the things that they had to do was seduce their enemy so they were vulnerable and killed them. Kunoichi were not allowed to fall in love with their targets and they did what they needed to get the mission done."

"Wait hold up! So you're saying that they were sluts and hoes?!" Kari spoke up.

"Such language!"

"Sorry mam, but were they? And would we have to do that?" Kari asked.

"Times are changing, there isn't the need to do that as much. In a way you could say they were now that I think about it. But it was for the common good and they didn't necessarily have sex either."

"What's sex?" Kari asked.

"Oh Kurenai-san, I leave them to you."

"HEY WAIT LADY YOU DIDN'T ANSWER MY QUESTION!!" but Kari was too late for the old lady was gone.

'How on earth did I get myself roped into this? Oh yeah, Asuma, Kakashi and Enoki…they will pay.' Kurenai thought to herself.

A girl raised her hand "Kurenai-sensei? She fell asleep again." She pointed at Kari.

'That must be Enoki's student, he said she'd be a bit of trouble.' Sure enough Kari was sawing logs. The student behind her prodded her awake. Kari turned to see Itachi's fanclub glaring at her so pretty much the whole class. The girl that prodded her awake came down to her and sat beside her. "Ok everyone ready? Good. One of a kunoichi's greatest assets is genjutsu. I'm supposed to teach you a few tricks. But…since we have a great age difference I want to see everyone's skill level." Kurenai explained and began taking students to test them.

"I'm Natsuko Mitsuaru." The girl spoke. She had medium strawberry blonde hair and hazel eyes.

"Kari Toshikawa." Kari smiled, but that was short lived as she was pushed roughly from behind. Kari angrily whirled around to see a tall blonde haired girl smirking at her and a posse of girls were behind her.

"You have violated the IFC's rules and conducts. For that you shall be punished." The blonde spoke.

"Since when would you work for the international film corporation? You're no where near pretty enough." Kari said.

Whatever they were expecting from her it wasn't that. "Such big words for such small vermin. We order you to stop being close to Itachi, stop being his friend and don't ever speak to him again."

"Here's my answer to that, go screw yourselves." Kari answered. Natsuko was shocked. No one had stuck up to them before.

"Kari Toshikawa." Kurenai called. Little did they know that she was watching. Kari hesitantly walked over. "Unleash your most powerful genjutsu."

Tiger horse monkey hare dog tiger DEMONIC ILLUSION: TREE BIND DEATH 

Kurenai was impressed that Kari did her signature move, an 8 year old wouldn't have nearly enough chakra, either she was a genius or she was very dedicated, Kurenai decided to go with the second one. Kari was panting, she wasn't as effected as when she performed it the first time, or when she was in the forest only 6 months before. The class was silent then went back to its chatter. 'Hmm though she's the youngest she's one of the few that knows a good technique.' Kurenai sighed. "I heard what you said, you have to stay after class."

Kari scowled. "Fine." She went back to her seat to sit with Natsuko. "Are you part of the IFC?"

Natsuko shook her head. "No…I like…"

"Huh?" Kari asked. Natsuko whispered something in her ear "Oh, you like Kioshi?"

"Natsuko went red "Not so loud!"

Kari laughed, "I'll talk to him and find out who he likes if you want me to." Too often she was asked by her aunt to ask people about that sort of thing, she didn't really get why, boys were just too weird for her taste.

Natsuko nodded. She was about 11 and not much younger than Kioshi. When Kurenai was done testing everyone she was trying to teach them some techniques, with little to no progress. After her class was lunch and there Kari and Kurenai sat. They talked a little.

"I was forced against my will to come here too." Kurenai broke the silence.

"You were?" Kari asked.

Kurenai nodded. "Yeah Kakashi, Asuma and your sensei. Now I'm just trying to think of my revenge." Kari and Kurenai thought for a moment. "I can't really tell if you guys are improving on the stuff I teach unless we get some testers."

"Why not Kakashi, Asuma and Enoki-teme?" Kari asked.

"Yes that'll definitely work." Kurenai said. Kari's stomach rumbled. "You can go now, I'm hungry too." They both left and joined Natsuko under a tree.

Next lesson was etiquette and tea ceremonies

The one who taught etiquette and tea ceremonies was Mrs. Noriyama. "Sit straight, don't slouch." It was torture simply put. Kari's back felt like breaking in half. Natsuko was fine with it. "Chin up Toshikawa-san." Kari did. Mrs. Noriyama was targeting her more then the others because she was a friend of Itachi and he might someday show interest in her and that she may marry the heir of the Uchiha clan so it'd be in her best interests to go, or so her aunt said. The lesson went painfully slow.

They all had a surprise when they went to their music class. "Mikoto-chan!" Kari ran up to her. Natsuko hung back "What're you doing here?"

Mikoto had an amused smile on her face. I'm your sensei, I'm also spying on Itachi's fan club." She whispered and pointed to the IFC nervously trying to smarten themselves up. Mikoto then began her lesson. She handed them a slip of paper and told them to write what they wanted to play. Kari walked absentmindedly up to the dusty old harpsichord in the corner.

"Can I try this?" Kari asked. Mikoto nodded then assigned everyone else. She then played the shamisen, koto and the shakuachi flute then the harpsichord. They then learned about the notes and signs. Finally after a few more classes the day was over. Kari exited the academy with Natsuko to see Itachi and to both girls' surprise Kioshi waiting for her.

"This is natsuko-chan! And you know these two dunderheads." Kari chirped happily.

"See, it wasn't so bad, you made a friend." Kioshi answered.

"Are you kidding?!" I'm honestly going to kill the IFC. Hey where did Itchy-chan go?" Kari asked. Itachi was in the middle of a crowd of girls, he then ran and the others ran after him they finally lost he horde of girls.

"Well this is my house, see you all later." Natsuko left.

"My aunt said I could stay at your house for a week and Mikoto-chan said it was fine." Kari said to Itachi as they walked. "So Kioshi-kun do you have a crush on anyone?"

Kioshi went a little red. "Why should I tell you?"

"Cause there's no secrets between us. And I'm on a mission."

"Just so you'll shut up, it's Natsuko there happy?" He hissed in her ear.

"Very!" Kari answered. **'Phase 1 complete.' **

'Why am I with dysfunctional people?' Itachi thought to himself.

Kioshi then stopped in front of the Hyuga manor. "Does she like me back?"

Kari only shrugged. "Ask her."

After the first week…

"Mikoto-chan! Do I have to go?" Kari moaned.

"Yes."

"But I don't wanna go Mikoto-chan…I wanna stay home and make onigiri with you!"

"But you should go. Natsuko won't have anyone there."

"When you put it that way…See ya Mikoto-chan! Bye Sasuke-kun!" Kari went out the door, and Itachi came with her.

"The Uchiha sweet rice cracker shop is open." He pointed out. They went inside, bought some sweets, said hello and were back on their way. "See ya." Itachi left her at the steps of the academy.

"Bye." Kari went in for her first class.

"Alright, last night's assignment was to compose a poem, let's start with Kari-san."

Kari took a breath "As I woke this morning when all sweet things are born, a robin perched upon my sill a sign of coming morn, the bird was young and sweet and…gay and sweetly did its thing, that in my heart joys of love it's spring-"

"That's so beautiful!" the teacher sighed.

"I'm not quite done." Kari said. "The bird sang for quite a while and stopped for a minute lull, I snuck up and pulled the window down and broke its freaking skull!" there was a shocked silence. Natsuko was the only one who laughed.

"Zero."

Later Kari and Natsuko were looking at plants for outdoor education. "Don't ever use these as toilet paper." Natsuko shuddered as she pointed at some poison oak.

Finally genjutsu class rolled around and Kurenai managed to get Kakashi, Asuma and to her great pleasure Enoki. "Alright class, these 3 gentlemen have volunteered to be guinea pigs to see if you've improved. I'll call you up 3 at a time and pair you up." After some time Kari was called and paired up with her sensei.

_Rat_

Leaved began to twirl around them both. "Kai!" enoki tried to cancel it. Kari threw in all her chakra and will power as her spell slowly began to fade, it began to sharpen and Enoki was pelted by toasters thrown by squirrels. She broke it panting.

"Pass." Kurenai said smiling. Enoki was huddled in a ball mumbling incoherent things. Kari nodded as she slipped into the warm clutches of sleep. At least her fall was soft. After some time Kari woke up on the couch in Kurenai's room looking into blood red orbs. "Thank kami you're awake."

"Hmm." She glanced at the clock. It was 10 to three. "I know what you're thinking, that you started me too high. Don't worry, I fainted the first time I perfected the other one, my aunt forbade me to use it and not even 2 days later I used it again.

Kurenai hesitantly nodded. "The last class is almost over, so you can leave. See you Monday."

"Yes." Kari left. She stepped outside and sat waiting for Natsuko 'she sure is taking her time.' Kari looked around and saw Natsuko but other girls surrounded her. Kari began to walk over to them.

"She's a good person so why don't you leave her alone?" Natsuko asked. There was silence then Natsuko cried out in pain. Kari ran and saw the IFC. Natsuko was trying to fend them off but there were too many. Kari aimed a kick at the girl who first struck Natsuko.

"Good, the brat's here. Now we'll teach her what happens when she doesn't listen." She rubbed the red mark on her shoulder.

"Yeah yeah whatever, Natsuko lets go eh?" Kari grabbed Natsuko's arm and began to walk away. The girl let out an enraged yell and began to run at them.

Kari POV 

Another retarded attempt to beat me up; it's not worth my time, and Natsuko shouldn't suffer just cause she's with me. I definitely heard the enraged scream coming out and running, I knew she was coming to get me. The pounding of her feet stopped and it was silent, dead silent. Birds stopped singing and there were no more cheers coming from the other girls. Natsuko glanced at me curiously, confusion written all over her face, and she wasn't the only one.

A very scared and nervous voice broke this silence, it squeaked out "H-Hi Itachi-kun."

Normal POV 

Itachi had his back to Kari and Natsuko. "Leave." Reluctantly all the girls left.

And from that point forward Kari's time at Kunoichi school was definitely a lot better.

END!!

* * *

_**THE THREE ASSES!**_

_AN: don't ask how I got this idea either…but Baileigh helped me co-write it and it kinda goes hand in hand with never give a 6 year old sugar… so yes…lets get on with it. _

* * *

11-year-old Kari woke up upon a sunny Saturday morning to her phone ringing. "Hello?" she groggily asked.

"Hello Kari-san, I have a question for you. Are you able to baby-sit today?" A woman's voice asked.

Kari held back a yawn "Yes I can, May I ask who's calling and what time I come over?"

"Yamanaka-san and would 12:30 be ok?" Mrs. Yamanaka asked.

"Yeah, see you then." Kari hung up. She looked at her clock that read 11:45. Kari slipped on some jeans and a black T-shirt saying 'TEENAGERS! Tired of being harassed by your stupid parents? ACT NOW! Move out, get a job and start paying your own bills while you still know everything.' She then did her morning routine, her aunt was at work so she pulled out a TV dinner "Nutritious and delicious." The clock now read 12:15. Kari stepped outside "Crap! I forgot where they lived!" Kari ran to the only place she could, Yamanaka flower shop.

"Good, just go to the house nextdoor." Mrs. Yamanaka said. "There's plenty of food in the fridge, feel free, we'll be back tomorrow."

Kari stepped inside to see Ino, Chouji and Shikamaru looking back at her "Uh…hi…"

"Hi!" Ino said happily back.

"This is so troublesome, we don't need a sitter." Shikamaru sighed.

"Food! Goddamnit I don't have more chips!" Chouji said.

"Names?" Kari asked. **'What is this? Children of the corn?' **

"Ino."

"Shikamaru."

"Chouji."

"Ok. I know I'm not going to remember that, so you're fat ass." Kari pointed to Chouji. "You're lazy ass." She pointed at Shikamaru. "I don't think that all blondes are dumb and there's the off chance I might remember Ino but until I say otherwise you're smart ass." She sighed. "So lets watch TV."

"Yay!" ino yelled.

"I gotta move? This sucks." Shikamaru sighed.

"Can I have chips?" Chouji asked. Kari got a bag of chips.

"You better share fat ass. Ok so what do you want to watch?" Kari asked while grabbing the remote.

"Loonatics!" Ino said before the others.

"That's Sasuke's favourite show."

'That's why I watch it, but it's actually a cool show.' Ino thought to herself.

While watching loonatics….

"So smart ass who's your favourite character and why?" Kari asked.

"Tech. E Coyote cause his tail's so green and floofy!" Ino answered.

'I'm having a major case of Déjà vu…Looks like Sasuke's got a fan.' Kari thought 'i've always wondered why kids these days like this show-' "HOLY SHIT SHE HAS A BIG HEAD!! WHO THE FUCK'S THAT!??!" Kari pointed at Mastermind.

"You said bad words." Shikamaru informed.

Kari covered her mouth 'Goddamnit!' **'Good going smart one.' **Kari sighed "Don't tell your parents and I'll take you out for icecream."

"So tech…can you tell us how you know little miss melon head?" Ace bunny asked. Everyone lauhed.

"It's funny cause it's true!" Ino said.

"This show is lame." Shikamaru said. Ino smacked him on the head.

"No it's not lazy ass!" She retorted.

"Ino! Don't say that word again!" Kari scolded.

"You say it."

"But that's cause I'm older. You're 6 and I'm 11…major difference. Plus if you don't say ass again, you get 2 scoops of ice cream. So lets all shut up and watch the show." They just saw how Mastermind got her head so large.

"Creepy and awkward!" Shikamaru said in a sing-song voice.

"She shouldn't hae been such a bad girl, then she would have stayed pretty." Ino commented. 'I wonder if Sasuke-kun is watching this?'

Sasuke sneezed 'someone's thinking about me…' he looked at the TV "HOLY SHIT HER HEAD'S ENORMOUS!! WHO THE HELL IS THAT??!!"

Itachi casted his brother a glance 'Kari's too much of an influence…'

Back at Ino's…

"Alright. It's time for a nap, then I'll take you all out for ice cream." Kari said. After they left "Hey! Blue collar TV is on!" after laughing at Jeff Foxworthy thoroughly verbally bash the looney tunes the 3 woke up. They were now on their way to the ice cream vendor. Ino was talking with Chouji about the many flavours of ice cream while Shikamaru was looking at the clouds while walking "You're going to hit a pole if you don't watch what's in front of you."

"As if I'll crash into a-" Shikamaru's sentence was cut short as he crashed into a pole and fell over.

'**Ha ha! Do you see the irony in this situation!? What a putz!' **Kari helped Shikamaru to his feet. "You alright?"

"Yah."

'**Hahahahahahahaha!-'** 'Shut up you cruel person.' **'You've got no sense of humour.' **'Ok it was a little funny.' They reached the vendor and bought ice cream. They sat on the stools there. 'I've never seen anything so empty.' Kari closed her wallet.

"Lets go to the park!" Ino chirped and so only Ino really enjoyed the park. Shikamaru watched clouds and Chouji sat beside Kari and began to complain.

After about 5 min of listening to him…

"If you think you're fat then do something about it fat-ass."

"I AM NOT FAT!!"

"Look at the cute little beer gut you got!" Kari cooed. Chouji got red. "Ok…first off…cut down to at least one bag of chips a day. 2. Get on that swing and pump those sausages as hard as you can! Go fatty go!" and so Chouji went on his swing. Shikamaru soon fell asleep and Ino and Kari were covered in flowers.

"I love daisies!" Ino sighed.

"What are these nice smelling ones?" Kari asked.

"Lilies."

"Cool."

They made it back to the house.

"Alright now it's bath time."

"AAAWWWW!-"

"No whining. Ino-chan do you want to go first?" Kari asked. Ino nodded. "Can you bathe by yourself?"

"My mom always helps." Ino answered. Kari got everything ready and was now waiting for Ino to finish in the tub.

"Need help washing your hair?" Kari asked. Ino nodded. Kari began to shampoo her hair.

"Do you know Sakura Haruno?" Ino asked.

"I've heard about her from Sasuke." Kari said. "Pink hair right?" Ino nodded. "Close your eyes and hold your breath." Kari gently dunked her head then put conditioner in it.

"Does Sasuke-kun ever talk about me?" Ino asked shyly.

"Sometimes. He says your smart but is creeeped out that you're everywhere he is." Kari answered. "Dunk." She dunked her head. She held out a towel and Ino stepped out. Kari wrapped the towel around her "BOYS!!" Ino went to her room. Kari got no response and so she went to the living room to see Shikamaru and Chouji watching an adult channel.

"My dad watches this channel when mom is not home and I'm supposed to be in bed." Chouji informed.

"What a dra-OH MY LORD!!" Shikamaru fell off the couch and Kari could clearly see what it was, a porn channel that had 2 gay guys. Kari snatched the remote and shut it off.

"Bath…now." Kari said in a deadly voice. They didn't dare say anything cause of the look on her face. They both jumped in and began to play. After she got them bathed and dressed they were in the living room. She gave them some fruit. "One TV show and then its bedtime."

"Rabbit food this is." Chouji mumbled.

"What?" Kari asked.

"Nothing."

Shikamaru picked the TV show, which was Scooby-doo. After that Kari got them to bed.

"Night guys." Kari said.

"Night." They answered. Kari went back to the living room and continued watching the comedy network until she finally fell asleep. She was woken up at around daybreak when Mr. and Mrs. Yamanaka. Came into the house followed by Mr and Mrs. Nara and Akamichi.

"Oh sorry for waking you up dear." Mrs. Yamanaka said.

"It's alright." Kari stretched.

"They weren't too much trouble?" Mrs. Nara asked.

"No." Kari said, at their disbelieving faces she added, "alright they were a little troublesome." They nodded.

"Here's your pay." Mrs. Yamanaka said handing Kari some money

"Thanks, well if you need a sitter, you know who to ask. Good bye." Kari said walking out the door.

END

* * *

THE CHUNNIN EXAMS 

_AN: well I always wondered what happened when Itachi took the chunnin exams and here's just my rendition…it may not be correct but I had fun writing it and hope that you enjoy reading it. It's because of this story that I took so long in updating; I had such a bad case of writer's block there so I did what I always did…listened to angry music…

* * *

_

Kari, Itachi and Kioshi were waiting at their training grounds, "He's late." Kari sighed leaning her head on the wood post behind her. She got no answer considering Itachi and Kioshi were sparring. Kari soon fell into a light dose. 'Those 2 have been fighting more than usual…' Kari was so out of it she didn't even notice Enoki arrive.

'Boys.' Enoki thought prying the 2 apart. 'They've been showing more animosity than usual.' He let the go and went to the only girl. 'She's improved the most out of these 3 in the last 2 years.' He gently woke her up. "Well, I have vouched you guys for the Chunnin exams."

"Wha?" Kari asked.

"I believe you guys are ready." Enoki answered. Everyone was silent.

'I…am I ready to take the exam?' **'Enoki-sensei says we're ready so we must be.' **"Hell yeah! We'll kick some ass and become chunnin!"

"That's what I want to hear!" Enoki smiled. "Because it's tomorrow."

"T-Tomorrow?" Kari asked, all self-confidence she had before instantly vanishing.

"Yeah, you see…I forgot it was coming up and…" the temperature became very cold. He poofed away leaving 3 forms.

"GET BACK HERE YOU ASSHOLE!" Kari yelled.

"It's no use, we better train." Kioshi said. They did sparring, ninjutsu, genjutsu, set traps and weapons training. They were tired and all 3 of them were collapsed on the ground. They looked at the forms.

"You have to fill it out and go to the academy tomorrow by 2 o clock." Enoki said looking down at them, Kari scribbled it in and sat up. Kioshi and Itachi were asleep.

"I can't get those 2, they keep trying to beat eachother sensless."

"Their clans have a rivalry going on." Enoki said. "Lets go out for barbeque."

Everyone's attention rose at the word 'barbeque.' Itachi and Kioshi came out of a dead sleep. Kari tried to stand up but having used up all her chakra and energy she could barely stay up. Kioshi pulled her onto his back and began to carry her. Itachi had a grim look on his face. Kari peered intently over his shoulder as the restaurant came into sight.

"SURPRISE!" Everyone called as they stepped inside. Itachi's family, the other uchihas, Kioshi's family and other hyugas were there. Kari tried searching for her aunt and from the bottom of her heart searched for her other family members, knowing full well that they weren't there. Her face fell, she thought she saw someone that looked like her great uncle Jiraiya but he didn't look her way. Kioshi set her down to join his family. They all sat down and began to eat. Itachi was with his family and she saw Mikoto and Sasuke beckon her over.

'At least I have them if they didn't come.' Kari put on a fake smile and walked over. After dinner everybody got up and socialized. Kari quietly slunk back to a shadowed corner and watched as everyone had fun.

"Hey Enoki-san where's your other student? I see the 2 boys but where's the girl? Kioshi has told me much about her stealth." A hyuuga said.

"I'm not sure, I haven't seen her since we came in and if she doesn't want to be found she won't." Enoki answered. They were getting closer and Kari pushed herself against the wall. "She's not been herself lately." They passed.

"Hey bozu, what are you doing sitting on the ground?" A man sat down beside her.

"Jiraiya oji-san!" Kari hugged him. After she let go he gave her a drink. "Where's Leiko?"

Jiraiya scratched his head. "She's taken a turn for the worse, she's still alright though."

Kari nodded, "here I thought none of my family would come to see me."

Jiraya laughed "So that's why you were depressed? Enoki-san said you weren't yourself."

Kari sighed "That's one of my million reasons. But you probably don't want to hear my problems."

"Try me."

"Well my teammates keep trying to beat eachother senseless, Aunt Leiko hasn't been doing well, I'm tired of being the spare tire and holding my team behind…and….that's it." Kari finished lamely. 'I don't want to tell him about what my body has been doing…'

"I see, well forget all that! Everyone grows at their own pace! And me and my old teammate used to beat on eachother all the time."

Kari looked confused. "I thought Tsunade-sama was the one who used to beat on you."

Jiraiya coughed and was saved by an over excited Ebisu "Jiraiya-sama! What are you doing on the ground!? You can have my chair if you need to sit down! By the way have you seen Kari-san, she's disappeared."

Jiraiya stood up and looked at where Kari used to be, instead there was a doll. Jiraiya smirked as he grabbed the doll by the scruff and it changed back to Kari. "You mean her?"

"We found her!" Ebisu called.

"Geroff me Ero-oji-san!" Kari yelled. Jiraiya dropped her.

"And you aren't hiding anymore tonight, join in the festivities." Jiraiya said. Kari very reluctantly went with him and talked to people. About an hour later everyone began to disperse and the next morning met eachother on the way the academy. It was a silent trip. They stepped inside and saw a whole bunch of people of all sorts.

"What on earth?!" Kioshi exclaimed. Itachi had a look of similar surprise on his face as well.

"What?" Kari asked. People all around looked, scared, frustrated or confused.

"We're in a maze." Itachi stated.

"But the room door's over there." Kari pointed. Both of them gave her confused glances. **'They can't see it.' **"Come on." she grabbed their hands and continued to drag them, two other teams followed. They braced themselves as they walked through a wall but it was nothing. They opened the door to see 10 other teams. One thing they all noticed was that almost all the teams had at least one girl except for a few that were all males like the 2 that followed them in. 'only girls can see the path…'

Very few other teams entered after them and when the clock struck 2 a scared shinobi locked the door and collected all the applications that were handed in. "Alright, sit in the desks. The first part of the exam is a written test. There is a test on each desk, cheating is forbidden and will disqualify your team if one of your members is caught, you have to have at least one correct answer to pass, you have 2 hours go."

Everyone began their test. 'How am I to know the exact angle of a shuriken thrown into a northwest wind at 10mph?!' **'Just put 360.' **Kari found herself stumped at every question; she could feel her teammates worried glances at her back. So she just sat there for the first hour and then the second one she had an earbud in 1 ear and tried to discretely cheat. Others were caught before her and so far 3 out of 16 teams were disqualified.

"Time's up, now for the final question. This is designed to test seeing beneath the underneath. I'll say the riddle and you'll have 5 minutes to get the answer then if someone doesn't get it I'll randomly ask people. Get it wrong and you and your team…can never participate in the Chunnin exams again. You can drop out now if you wish. But if you get it right your team automatically passes, and the others have to hand in their tests. Since I'm feeling generous if someone answers it under 5 minutes everyone passes." He paused and 2 more teams dropped out. "The question is; name 3 consecutive days without using Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday and Saturday."

It was silent and when 5 minutes passed and the proctor began to open his mouth Kari raised her hand. He nodded his head. "Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow."

"ahem, that is the answer, you all pass."

The next proctor entered the room "you're too easy on them Ibiki-san. That's twice as much as last year."

"This year's batch is exceptionally bright." Ibiki answered with a rare smile.

"Alright, everyone follow me." They followed the man out to an enclosed area. "Welcome to area #15 it's also called the point of no return. Now this is how it'll work, each of you will have a coloured flag, your objectives are to steal as many flags as possible while still keeping your own flag. While doing this you have to find the check point hidden in the forest. Once you reach the checkpoint you're done the task and cannot go back. Are you with me still?"

A girl raised her hand "Do flags could individually or is it how many the team has as a whole?"

"In a way it is both, you and your team collect flags but how many flags each individual has at the time of the debriefing of the next task effects how you're going to do." He paused and then continued "you'll have 72 hours to complete this task, you will be disqualified if any of your teammates die or are too injured to continue either by another team or by any of the little beasties in the forest, or if any of your teammates have lost all their flags, or if you haven't made it to the checkpoint in 3 days time. Any questions?" there were none. "Good now go to a booth and get your flag and other things."

Kari sighed, all she heard was blah blah blah but knowing her teammates they were absorbing every word. Itachi and Kioshi came up to her "we need to go to the booth." Kioshi informed. They walked up to one.

"Here's your flags, and a map for you to look over and return when you've had a good look, you're to go to gate 15." Unknown to the woman Itachi copied the map with his sharingan. He gave the map back and they went to gate 15.

"Aren't you 2 too young to participate in the exams?" the gate man asked Kari and Itachi.

"Our sensei nominated us, I think we can take it." Kari answered.

"It's your funeral." The man answered. They waited and they were let in the forest. The 3 walked in the forest. You could cut the tension with a knife. They had to keep quiet. They didn't see any signs of others. They set camp hours later.

Itachi drew out the map in the dirt, "I think that it'd be a good idea to head to the checkpoint and battle other teams as they get in our way." Itachi said.

Kioshi looked the map over and nodded. Kari nodded as well "Kari-chan, there's a stream nearby, could you get some water?"

Kari nodded and grabbed their canteens. They didn't say a word or move until she got back. She was smiling mischievously "what's so funny?" Itachi asked.

Kari threw 3 flags on the ground "You see, a team of girls were bathing further along and they were careless, I invited myself to their flags and some of their food, I don't steal personal possessions. Don't worry, I purified the water." Kari adjusted the flag on her waist.

"Clever girl." Kioshi mused her hair. So how did you get the answer for the test?"

"I was trying to remember what I ate yesterday, then it just clicked." Kari answered back. Kioshi just shook his head. Kari sat down with her back resting on a tree.

* * *

The next day they were running through the trees. Kioshi had his byakugan activated in front, Kari was behind him and Itachi was in the back. They ran for many an hour with no interference. They stopped in the early afternoon for a quick break.

"We are still a couple of kilometres from the checkpoint." Itachi informed.

"So how are we to split up the flags?" Kari asked.

"I have a slight idea about how the final round might work, so I'll have 3 flags, Itachi has 2 and you have one." Kioshi explained.

"Fine." Kari grumbled.

They then started again, the same positions they were in before. After about an hour in the treetops they spotted another group having a nap. The watch man also fell asleep. "They're all yours Kari-kun."

Kari sighed and hung in a tree upside down above the shinobi. Kari pulled one flag off, she dropped silently to the ground and pulled off the second one, then pulled out a black marker and was about to draw on the second man's head. Kioshi pulled out a laser pointer and shone it on the ground. Kari followed it, hypnotized. Kioshi shone it on the 3rd flag and Kari grabbed it. She then wrote something on one guy and followed the laser pointer back.

A few miles away they made camp for the night. In the morning…"Alright we each get one flag." Itachi said.

"Kari was munching on her rations. "Goodie." She grumbled the bags under her eyes could rival Itachi's.

"what's your problem?"

"The sun's not even up, and Kioshi broke his oath about the laser pointer and it was someone's bright idea to sleep in the trees!" Kari said. "I'll be picking slivers out of my ass till I'm 18."

"What's with you? You were never like this." Kioshi asked.

"I don't know what's wrong with me!" she moaned. **'There there…it's natural.' **'Its bumps to form on my chest?' **'uh…that'll be something to ask Mikoto when we get back.' **They were waving hands in front of her face.

"I think she's entered puberty. Kioshi whispered. Itachi had no clue what that was so he just nodded acting like he knew it.

"Kari it's time to go." Itachi said.

They left and they were on their way to the checkpoint, which they made it around midday.

"You guys have a day to wait, your room is 2B." A man said.

A day later…

6 teams were all that made it. They were gathered in a meeting area very similar to the place everyone was gathered in the chunnin exams on Naruto except there was no computer or a man making the ram sign. The Hokage was there along with some other shinobi and noble men. The hokage stood up. "The last part of this years exam is going to be slightly different, normally we would allow you to have at least a week to prepare but we don't have that kind of time because of the war with cloud. We are going to have the final round here and now."

A man came around asking for names and how many flags they had. After he gathered his information he constructed a battle chart. "Look at this and see when you fight and who your opponent is." After everyone looked the guy took the guy took his chart back. "Those of you who aren't battling are to stand on the railing above."

Everyone except for the 1st 2 combatants went up to the top. "The rules are that the battle goes on until one of you accepts defeat, or dies or is too injured to continue. I as proctor can stop the battle at anytime to save more lives. Begin whenever you are ready."

The first battle along with the first round of battles went by fast as well. Kioshi, Itachi and Kari passed their first battle. Now there were 9 people left. The person showed the chart again. Kari was relieved that she wouldn't fight just yet; since there was one extra she would fight whoever won the 4th battle. She applied some healing chakra to a nasty cut across her cheek. Itachi and Kioshi won their battles and with a familiar feeling of dread…it was her turn.

She jumped from the railing and got a good look at her opponent. He was twice as tall and twice as wide as she was. 'Great, I have to fight shrek…' The proctor did his explaining and as soon as he finished Kari's opponent ran at her. He aimed a punch at her and she blocked it with her hand and used momentum to swing herself up and over behind him and aimed kick at his back. He picked himself up off the ground looking pissed. Kari got into a stance. He ran at her again aiming a punch, Kari ducked but the boy gave her an axe kick to the shoulder, she was sent to the ground and rolled away from a punch aimed at her. Kari shakily stood holding her shoulder 'It's dislocated…' and she forced her shoulder back into place with a loud series of cracks. He was at her again. Kari expertly dodged the series of punches and kicks while dishing out her own until a round house kick got her in the face and she was sent a little ways away. She put a hand to her face and winced, that'd form a nasty bruise.

"Come on Kari-kun get up!" Kioshi called.

Kari was temporarily disorientated and while she was still trying to get up the boy came again. He aimed a punch at her stomach and she just barely rolled out of the way and it just grazed her ribs. She got up and waited, panting slightly. "Come at me again, I dare you."

"I'll win and kill you." He answered.

Kari wiped some blood off her cheek. When he ran at her Kari poured some chakra on the blood in her hand and flicked it in his direction, it became hard and cut into him. While he was distracted she disappeared. Kari was hanging upside down on some railing high above the others. She was pulling out shuriken and kunai. She let go the same time he turned in her direction. He made clones as she began throwing the shuriken and kunai while hanging upside down and falling and turning to see everything around. As soon as she landed she got a punch in the stomach that sent her to the ground. The proctor stepped in before they boy could finish her off. Kari was gasping and then coughed up a lot of blood while wheezing in the breaks.

"This battle is over." He said.

Kari unsteadily stood up while wiping the blood from her mouth. **'Let me take over.' **'How will I know you won't do something completely retarded?' **'Trust me.' **Kari reluctantly let her inner have control. Her head was bowed and her bangs covered her face. **"Don't cancel the match." **

The proctor looked at her then at the hokage who nodded. "You may continue but I will not be responsible if your life is taken."

"**Good cause I don't plan on dying just yet." **The only difference in Kari's appearance was a kanji on her forehead for spirit. She made handseals and she vanished, and her opponent couldn't move. **"I would love to break you…but then I'd only sink to your level." **Her voice whispered in his ear, she touched his shoulder and he fell down asleep. The killing intent radiating from her made everyone involuntarily shudder. She then retreated into Kari's mind and Kari shakily made her way to her team. Enoki was now there as well. They were all silent.

It was the third round now and Kari had just lost. The man now was passing out the fighting table again. When it reached them Kari gasped for there in the table, Itachi was to fight Kioshi. "I guess it had to be sometime when this would happen." Kioshi commented.

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Itachi responded.

"May the best man win."

Both were in the arena, everyone was tense and excited for a battle between an Uchiha and a Hyuga usually meant that it was going to be a good fight. Both stood there eyeing eachother and then finally they attacked.

_Horse tiger_

**KATON: GOKYAKUU NO JUTSU**

**SUITON: BAKUSUI SHOHA **(water release: exploding water shockwave.)

Fire met water in this enraging onslaught. Both dodged the attacks and went to hand-to-hand. Itachi moved with lightning quick speed and went on the attack. Kioshi blocked just as quickly, his byakugan was activated and he knew where Itachi was aiming for and he wouldn't let him have the opportunity. Itachi aimed a punch and Kioshi grabbed it and bent it in an odd angle. "why aren't you using the sharningan?" Kioshi asked.

"I don't need it." Itachi answered. Kioshi stepped up his game and went on the attack and was trying to disable his chakra points. Kari meanwhile was at a standstill, she wanted to show her support for her teammates but after careful thinking she decided it was best to just keep her mouth shut. Itachi blocked a kick from Kioshi and tried to do a round house but feinted and punched him in the stomach. Itachi then noticed that Kioshi disabled some of his minor chakra paths. Itachi turned on his sharingan, needing its powers to fight his formidable opponent. Both went for eachother at the same time both blocking eachothers moves then jumping apart doing a flurry of handseals.

_Rat tiger dog ox hare tiger_

**KATON: HOUSENKA NO JUTSU **(fire style: dragon fire tech.)

Kioshi stopped after doing his first two handseals and did his palm rotation and it deflected Itachi's fire attack. While Kiosh was distracted Itachi set up a couple of traps. They were now fighting hand-to-hand again and this time they weren't holding back. Soon both were bleeding and bruised. Itachi received a sharp blow to the jaw, as Kioshi got a kick in the gut. They broke apart and drew out Shuriken and kunai. They both threw them at the same time, some deflecting others, some harmlessly hitting the floor or wall and the combatants dodging the rest. Itachi picked up 2 kunai as well as Kioshi. They ran at eachother and began to scratch at anywhere they could reach. Some hit their mark or were expertly deflected and both combatants suddenly stopped fighting.

"What happened?" Kari asked.

"Watch." Enoki answered. Kari leaned over the rail, it was hard to see but it would explain why they weren't moving. Itachi had one kunai to Kioshi's jugular and another to his stomach. Kioshi had a kunai to Itachi's heart as well as over the great saphenious vein. The proctor came over.

"In the case of a tie both combatants are disqualified." The proctor answered. Itachi and Kioshi both relaxed then went off the field to where Kari and Enoki were, both looking disappointed that they couldn't beat the other. Kari began to heal them up.

'I never knew she had such capabilities at such a young age.' The hokage thought. After what felt like ages the final ceremony began. The hokage began to call out the names of people who passed the exam. Naturally Itachi and Kioshi were called up, they were good strategists, amazing fighters and generally good shinobi. "toshikawa Kari."

'huh?' Kari thought. She walked up and was presented with a chunnin's vest.

"We need more ninjas like you. Ibiki told me about you and the written part of the exam. That and not many medics have abilities like yours. Wear it with pride." He whispered.

* * *

Kari, Itachi and Kioshi and Enoki were walking down the street. "I have taught you all that I know, I have nothing further to teach you. I'm proud that I taught you all."

"What aren't you saying?" Kari asked.

"Well after you reach Chunnin level, you don't need a jounin instructor. You're on your own now. But…I have some Ryo left, lets have ice cream together before we part ways." Enoki said.

"Yeah." Kioshi said.

"Hm." Itachi said.

"YES ICE CREAM!! YOU'RE THE BEST ENOKI SENSEI!!"

_END!_

_Yes this ends filler chapter numero 2 and I have a mission for you reviewers! Or actually 2 of them…you don't have to do them if you don't want to but it'd make me update faster. Mission #1 I need 4 reviews for this chapter!! And mission #2 is optional, my first story that I posted here has 99 reviews and one of my lifetime goals is to reach 100. You don't even have to read Hilarious beyblade stories…just post a review… this is 17 pages long…and it's one story less than the last one…that's insane…well yah…make an authouress really happy!! _

_Sakura Sama 101_


	11. Kirigakure part 1

_Thank you very much for all the wonderful reviews! And here is the next chapter for ya! _

'**Inner Kari.' **

Things that need emphasis 

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. _

A month later Kari was digging around the storage closet. Once a month Kari had to clean the men's bathroom. She came out with every bathroom cleaner known to man. She made her way to the said bathroom. It had a toilet and a urinal and a two sink vanity and a bathtub and a shower stall. "There's things in here even science hasn't even discovered yet." She sighed as she began to clean the floor. Then the vanity pulling hair clogs out of the drains. She ruefully fixed her rubber gloves and began to clean the urinal and toilet. "This sucks." She squirted vim all over the tub and moved to the shower. "mr.clean Mr. clean I really do not like you cuz your old and your bald and your old and I think you are a deaf mute Mr. Clean!" When the shower was done she finished off the tub. She stood at the door admiring her handiwork. Everything was gleaming "Lemony fresh!"

"Out of the way! I gotta pinch a mean one!" Hidan elbowed her out of the way and slammed the door.

"Was lemony fresh." Kari corrected herself. A very amusing scene unfolded in the living room. Deidara put itching powder in Itachi's lotion so he was scratching and glaring at Deidara who was trying to look innocent. All in all it was a normal day at the Akatsuki lair. Kisame ran into the living room disgusted and scared.

"The it has left its room!"

"Who?" they asked. Their question was answered for them as the member with a vase for a head entered the room. They all watched as it opened the fridge and pulled out some yoghurt and a soda. It then went over to them in the living room. Hidan came back from the bathroom.

"You eat?" He asked. And he got no answer.

"Good, comedy network is on." Vase head spoke. In the next hour they watched vase head more than the TV. "Itachi, Kari, Kisame you're summoned by leader."

All 3 exchanged glances and went to the leader's office. They opened the door to see the leader looking frustrated as he did his daily paperwork.

"You called?" Itachi drawled out.

"Yes I did. Sit." The leader ordered and they did. "I have 2 missions for you. A feudal lord in the mist called upon my services and refused to pay. Find him and force the money from her and if he won't pay then by all means kill him. The other mission is a guard mission. A man has asked that he be given a guard as assailants have targeted him. Your mission is to keep him alive at all costs until his assailants have been killed. Here is a scroll containing the finer points of the mission. You leave tomorrow."

The 3 nodded and left. They were silent and split up to their rooms. All 3 packed the stuff they needed for the mission. Kari then resumed her duties until Itachi forced her to go to bed.

"it's only 9!" Kari pointed at the clock.

"I don't care. We need to get up early tomorrow." He emotionlessly stated. "Kisame's already in his room. Don't make me carry you."

"Chill, I'm going itchy-chan." She trudged up to her room smiling at Itachi cringing at his old nickname. It only felt like minutes after she fell asleep that she was being woken up again. "But I like a cookie…" she was being gently shaken. "What time is it…?" she opened her eyes and saw Itachi looking back at her.

"5:00."

"AM!!??"

"Yes." Itachi answered. Kari was too tired and mad to speak. "You have 30 minutes to get ready." He left. Kari moodily put on long black flexible spandex shorts that went past her knee and a navy blue outfit similar to sakura's except it was longer at the bottom and that it had shorter sleeves. She put her shuriken pouch around her waist, and a kunai holster on her leg. Lastly she put on her Akatsuki coat. She grabbed her bag and met the others. Without another word they left.

"We'll travel by tree." Itachi informed them. They jumped and began to jump from branch to branch. After many hours of this Kari began to tire since she had lower stamina. Itachi was ahead, Kari was in the middle and Kisame was the rear guard. Itachi sensed his subordinate's dwindling energy and he saw a clearing about half a kilometre away. "We'll take a break in this clearing ahead." They got there.

"How long are we staying here?" Kisame asked.

"Half an hour." Itachi responded. "We've made good time, we will be in Kirigakure by tomorrow morning." Kari slumped down in front of a tree gratefully. Kisame sat down beside her and opened his pack and pulled out 2 granola bars and gave one to Kari. Itachi remained standing and half an hour later they were back to jumping on tree branches and they did this till around nightfall when Itachi said to make camp. "I'll go get food. You 2 get a fire going and water." Itachi left.

"I can go get water Kisame-kun." Kari grabbed the pot.

"Alright be back soon." Kisame answered. Kari walked off.

'I remember seeing a stream a little ways back.' Kari thought jumping from tree to tree. Soon she came to the said stream. She filled the pot with water and brushed a glowing finger against the surface and watched the water purify. She walked back to camp, kisame was tending the fire and Itachi wasn't back yet. Kari gently set the pot down and set up her sleeping bag. Itachi came back 5 minutes later with some fish. They speared them and roasted them over the fire, after eating them the sun was completely set.

"Are we having a watch tonight?" Itachi nodded.

"I'll take first watch and then Kisame, then Kari." Itachi said. The other 2 went in their sleeping bags and slept.

Sometime in the night…

Kari rolled over in her bag; she just woke up. She could see Itachi's back facing her. She got up and walked to him. "I can take over, please rest."

"I can't sleep." He said softly. There was silence except for Kisame's snores.

"Hm. Everything will work out. You'll get your revenge and we can go back to Konohagakure." Kari put a comforting hand on his shoulder, "don't forget, you're innocent."

Itachi grasped her hand in his, he looked into her eyes and smiled, truly smiled for the first time in 5 years. He then turned his gaze to the sky. The stars were shining brightly. He wrapped an arm around her and Kari looked at him curiously as his face was moving closer to hers. 'is he?' kari's heart was pounding wildly in her chest as they were only inches apart. Kisame let out a very loud and long snore and snapped both of them out of it.

"Do you want me to take over the watch?" Kari asked quietly. Itachi shook his head. Kari sighed and went back to bed. In truth he didn't want to sleep because of her, he looked into the fire and sighed.

'**He was going to kiss you!' **'I know.' **'You two would be a cute couple!' **'Ssh! I want sleep!'

Itachi woke up the next morning to see Kisame and Kari chatting by the fire, there were lots of blueberry bushes in the area so that was their breakfast.

"Too bad we didn't bring coolwhip." Kisame sighed. Kari nodded.

'**He probably likes you.' **'…' **'Do you at least have feelings for him?' **'Yeah maybe.' **'Yes you do, don't lie.' **'Then why ask?' **'Cause I have nothing else to do.'**

"Pack up." Itachi ordered. Kari rolled up her bag and attached it to her pack. Kisame was snuffing out the fire. Soon they were back to jumping from one branch to another as they made their way to Kirigakure. They were getting closer as the air was slowly turning into thin strips of fog.

Kari was worried; she summoned chakra to her eyes and looked into Itachi's aura. He was confused, uneasy, curious and 'Pink? So he's in love with someone I guess.' She thought. It was silent, to silent. Kisame went up beside her.

"Why do you have both ears pierced 3 times?" he asked.

"Because it's a custom of my people to pierce their ears when something horrible has happened to them." Kari answered. Luckily kisame didn't pursue the subject. They continued until mid afternoon when they were outside the village.

"What are we going to do first?" Kisame asked.

"The protection one since it is more important." Itachi responded. They entered the gate after Kari put the guard to sleep. "We now go to his house." They trudged on to an old manor. Itachi checked to see if this was the right one, he then told them what was inside the scroll then rang the bell. A middle aged man came to greet them.

"Please come inside." They followed him inside to a table. "You're the bodyguards I hired yes?"

"Yes." Kisame answered.

"Good good!" He spoke. There was silence. Kari began to fidget since she was a little nervous. "is there anything I can do to make things easier?"

"Yes…1. Whatever order we give you, no matter how strange, you answer it without question. 2. At least one of us has to be with you at all times." Itachi answered.

Kari scratched her head 'What about if he has to go to the washroom?'

"I see. Well, tonight I'm holding a small formal party; clothes are in your room. I'll get a maid to take you there. Aiko!"

an elderly maid came. "Kari, Kisame you two go. I'll stay here." Itachi ordered. Kari and Kisame nodded and left. The maid took them to a room bowed then left. The room was large, it had 3 futons in the middle of the room, a chamber pot in the corner and a dresser and a wardrobe.

Kari set her bag on a futon. Kisame was looking at her strangely. "You're a girl!" Kisame came to a grand conclusion.

"Yes Kisame I'm a girl." Kari yawned and laid on her futon. Kisame was smiling evilly "What are you plotting?"

"nothing." Kisame innocently answered. Itachi and the man walked inside, the maid was behind them and began to set up another futon a little ways from the three. "Mashimoro-san will be staying with us until we leave." Itachi stated. He set his stuff on his futon, which was in between Kari and kisame.

"I have a business meeting to attend, if one of you will come…" Mashimoro informed.

"I will." Kari stood up and followed him, they left the others and walked to a small room with a desk.

"can you make yourself invisible?" He asked curiously. Kari summoned some chakra to one finger and touched her head and from where she touched she disappeared. "Good! Good!"

'**Funny how easily commoners are amused.' **'Yeah huh.'

"I have a business client coming in so could you please stay like that?" mashimoro asked.

"Yeah." Kari answered. 10 minutes later Mashimoro and another man were gabbing away. Kari found herself growing more bored with each passing second. 'I can't feel my legs.' **'Aren't you oh I don't know how to put this…be on your guard and watch the other guy?!' **'Fine.' She continued to watch the guys until… 'Honestly I hate politics.' She sensed 2 auras ouside the door. With skills only a ninja could have, she crept to the door and slowly began to open it, careful not to cause attention to herself. She saw Kisame and Itachi waiting outside. 'Dude, no privacy, they're almost like stalkers.'

"Well then I'll see you later Iwazaki-san." Mashimoro and the man bowed then Iwazaki left. Kari followed Mashimoro out after becoming visible. Mashimoro led them to a dining room where there was some food. Kari's stomach lurched at the sight of food. "Eat it may not be much but you are my guests." They all seated themselves.

"You are also watching me while I'm at the party yes?" They all nodded "How so? Are you all dressing up?"

Kisame gave a fanged smirk "Well, as I'm the moster of Kirigakure as you're aware and my appearance may cause a disturbance Mashimoro san. And my partner supposedly killed his entire clan so it wouldn't be good if he came either."

"What about henge?" Kari asked.

"That could work." Itachi murmured.

"Then it's settled." Mashimoro answered.

Many hours later Kari was alone in their room 'Despite this being a noblemen's house things are sure drabby, not much different from an ordinary house, that and there's a definite gloom, an ominous shadow here. People are full of sorrow and pain that 3 different people tried taking my bag on the way here…WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED HERE?!' Kari punched her pillow in frustration.

A knock on the door and Kisame's voice called "Oi! You done yet?"

"Just about!" Kari ripped off her clothes and put on the kimono supplied for her. It was blue with white clouds and embroidered around her shoulders in gold threads around her shoulders and the hems and in random spots on the kimono were tiny birds. "Henge!" when the smoke cleared she had long white hair and white eyes and pale skin and a curvy body. 'Forgive me Naomi-nee-chan.' She stepped out.

"So who are you supposed to be?" Kisame asked.

"My sister 3 years ago." Kari answered. 'I did find them alive at a camp. I hope they're ok now.' Kisame transformed into a human with brown hair and eyes. Itachi made it so that his hair was shorter, the lines on his face were gone and he had bright green eyes. Both wore formal clothing as well. They all went down the stairs to where everyone else was.

An hour later Kari and Itachi were in a corner watching the people. Kisame was eating and drinking sake. Itachi walked off and no sooner did he leave did a very drunk man wrap an arm around her.

"Such a pretty lady." He whispered huskily in her ear. Kari was overwhelmed by his strong smell of sake. "How about you and I go off to a room and have some 'fun.' I've been on the run from a certain gang for some time and could use some." he began to stroke her bottom. Kari grabbed his hand and gave it a rough squeeze and pried it away.

"So…who are you on the run from?" she asked seductively moving her body, though she really wanted to kill that man but effectively squashed the temptation of hitting him.

"The Akatsuki, so shall we?" He answered. Kari cursed as her back hit the wall.

'Thismust be the guy we're after, his wallet is hanging out!'** 'Get it shannaro!!' **Kari let him push her against the wall so she could get a better reach for his wallet. A strong feeling of murderous intent made her freeze but she grabbed it just as the man was roughly pushed off her and a very angry Itachi was between them.

Itachi POV

I left her for a moment so I could discuss something with Kisame, I only turned my back for a minute and when I turned back around a man was with her. When he touched her I never felt that angry in years. I began to make my way to her glad to see that she was trying to keep her distance, but then she began to flirt back and she was pushed against the wall. I wanted to kill that man, destroy him for even thinking of doing that. Kari didn't seem to be paying attention to the man wrapping his arms around her. She was trying to grab something around his waist. Then I forced my way in between them.

Normal POV

"What is the meaning of this?" Itachi coldly asked.

"Whooo are youuu? Her husband?" the drunken guy asked.

"Yes."

'**Hah see! He does care.' **'That or possessive.' Kari looked to see Kisame close to Mashimoro. She stood on tippy toe and whispered something in his ear. He smirked.

"And a member of Akatsuki." They both watched as he pissed himself, began screaming and left. He rounded on her. "What were you doing with him? Why didn't you come get me?"

Kari gulped nervously at the look on his face. "he said he was on the run from the Akatsuki so I thought he was the one who didn't pay up." Kari jingled the wallet "So I stole this."

'Clever. A true Kunoichi.' Itachi's face softened. Kari sighed in relief.

"Why do you care?" Kari asked. The next thing Itachi did surprised the hell out of both of them. He leaned in and swiftly kissed her lips.

"Because I love you." He whispered by her ear. He finally told her the feelings he felt since he was about 10.

"I love you too." Kari answered.

"GET A ROOM!!" Kisame yelled beside them Mashimoro was cheering.

"We better get back." Kari said and Itachi nodded. Both went back to guard duty slightly redder then before.

_END!!!_

_Well, it had to be done…I thought this part was another chapter away…I'm writing this and I don't even know what I'm writing…lolz, well please don't forget to review! 4 reviews and I'll post the next chapter ASAP! Man and it's almost half way over…sniffle. Well yah please review!_

_Sakura Sama 101_


	12. Kirigakure P2, Enter Naomi

_Thankyou very much for the reviews! I can't thank you enough for it! I was worried about how you guys would react so that kinda makes my uneasiness for one of the next chapters lift. Actually that chapter would be the beginning of the sequel or at least how it starts off…I'm curious…if I did write a sequel (which believe me I'm going to) would you all read it? well that's enough of a crazy girl's babble, lets get on with it shall we?? _

'Inner kari' Things that need emphasis 

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…(I want to watch the patriot…but it's not my movie…but it's in my locker…yah I'll borrow it) _

They had been at Mashimoro's house for 4 days with no sign of an attack. Kari was bored out of her mind as she sat on her futon. She had just been relieved of guard duty and was trying to get some sleep. Sleep refused to come so she put on her headphones and listened to music. She was asleep when the others came in. That soon changed when Kisame shoved a leek up her nose.

"I hate you." Kari growled.

"I love you too Kari-chan!" Kisame answered mocking her. Itachi sighed silently; this was going nowhere. Mashimoro was bored to tears. It was still mid afternoon and the room was silent. Kari glanced at the window and a blur zoomed by. Kari jumped slightly. 'Probably just a stupid bird.'

A little while later everyone began to turn in for the night. A watch was set and everyone except for Kari who had first watch went to sleep. An hour later kari was fighting to keep awake. Her watch wasn't over yet and be damned if she fell asleep on the job. Then she noticed it, feathers raining down.

"KAI!!" She yelled concentrating on breaking the spell. From her shout Kisame and Itachi woke up instantly. Mashimoro was the only one affected. A figure shrouded in shadows entered the room.

Everyone got into fighting stances. "Who are you, what's your business?" Itachi coldly asked. The man lifted his hood. A bespectacled boy with silver hair in a masculine ponytail looked back at them.

"You!" Kari angrily spat. Itachi glared. "We're not letting you kill him." She stood in front of the unconscious Mashimoro and glared at Kabuto.

"Who said I wanted to kill him? I wanted to lure you away from the safety of the Akatsuki and this fool was stupid enough to take a death threat seriously." Kabuto spoke "I'm on orders. Orochimaru has ordered me to tell you he plans to get your brother in less then a year. That and destroy Konoha."

"Not if we can help it." Kisame spoke feeling left out.

"We'll see. Till then." Kabuto disappeared. The 3 stood there. Kari felt herself slipping off and laid down on her futon. The others did the same thought Kari was the only one to fall asleep. She woke up the next morning to beams of sunlight shining through her eyelids. She opened them to find she was by herself. She got dressed and packed her things as they were leaving today. Itachi and kisame were waiting for her outside the kitchen. They said their goodbyes and left.

The journey back was relatively uneventful. Kisame had to be carried half the way back as he was singing about Kari and Itachi and they knocked him out. Everyone was doing their own little thing when Deidara walked into Kari's room.

"There's a visitor for you un!" Deidara chirped. Kari curious about who'd want to visit her followed Deidara to the living room.

A girl Kari's age was sitting there. She had long gleaming white hair, skin the colour of porcelain, pouty lips, curvy body and a medium height and skinny frame.

"N-Naomi-neechan?!" Kari asked. The girl ran to Kari and pulled her into a bone-breaking hug.

"Imouto!" (younger sister)

"Onee-chan…I can't breathe…" Kari gasped out. Naomi let go. The others just stared "what on earth are you doing here?"

"Staying with you! Mom, Dad and the others are in Konoha!" Naomi chirped happily.

Kari looked apprehensive. "Did you ask?"

"Yes, she did, I would have said now but house is on today so everyone out!" Sir leader stepped in. they were now in the kitchen and it was silent. Introductions were over. Naomi went back into ultra shy mode.

"I'm so fricken bored." Hidan stated.

"Aren't we all?" Sasori remarked.

"Lets get wasted." Kisame spoke his idea.

"Lets not. I have to do accounting today." Kakuzu answered.

"Naomi-chan un! Can you cook?" Deidara asked.

"Yes."

"Please cook dinner for us! Kari-kun's cooking sucks." Sasori spoke.

"You traitors!" Kari stood up. Itachi pulled her back down. "Jerk off assholes."

"Yes I'll cook something." Naomi bustled off to the stove. It was quiet again, the only thing making a noise was Kari playing with a ball and paddle.

"I'm bored." Hidan stated.

"Go shove a pike up your ass and do your corny rituals." Kakuzu blurted. "maybe you'll die this time." He added as an afterthought.

"Maybe I will!" Hidan retorted and left. It was silent again.

Tobi was absent-mindedly fiddling with his mask. "Aren't geishas entertainers?"

"Yes." Naomi said. The smell of food wafted through the cave.

"Fooood!" Zetsu's white side moaned.

"It's not human flesh." The black side grumbled. He joined them at the table. Naomi shrugged. She got some odd customers.

"Hey your sharingan isn't on." Kari mumbled to Itachi.

"I know." He answered.

"You should take it off more often." Kari commented.

"I feel like hell un!" Deidara moaned.

"Drinking 7 bottles of sake does that to you." Sasori answered.

"Here's some Tylenol Deidara-sempai!" Tobi chirped as he handed him a bottle.

'I should seriously stage an intervention.' Kari thought. **'Damn drunkards.'**

"Drinking that much is bad, you can die." Naomi stated.

'but that's what Naomi's for.' Kari thought.

TWO WEEKS LATER!! 

It had been 2 weeks since Naomi decided to stay and today was also Kisame's birthday. Everyone through out the day was making preparations. There was lots of booze and a whole bunch of other stuff planned. Kari was playing with Deidara's hair and was putting it in 2 pigtails. Itachi decided to go see them. He beckoned Kari to follow him. He led her to his room.

"So?" Kari asked curiously. Itachi wordlessly gave her a ring. Kari remembered seeing this ring long ago and what it meant. She was speechless. **'ZOMG!' **inner Kari did a jig, and then fainted. She walked over and kissed him, Itachi was momentarily shocked and then deepened it. When they broke apart, "I accept."

(Wow…. I'm so not used to writing romance scenes…. and forgive me if it's going too fast…)

Kisame walked in on them and was grinning like a mad man. "I won't tell leader." He added quickly seeing the look on Itachi's face. Deidara was in Kisame's shadow.

"We swear un. The party's about to start."

_END!!_

_Sorry if it's short…I totally spaced and forgot the ending of this chapter for I write them before hand!! Oh god…the next chapter is the one I'm probably unnecessarily dreading…but yah…-- please review! 4 more until I update! Please and thankyou! _

_Sakura Sama 101_


	13. A little but big surprise

_Well I could be doing better…..I'm not in a great mood right now…first off I hate my brother cause he is a cock sucker but enough about that thanks for reviewing, my goal was to get above two and that's fine with me. So…here is the mother chapter of the sequel. This chapter inspired me to write the sequel. I'm worried about how peeps will take to this chapter but I'm ready to accept it with open arms…(takes deep breath) _

'**Inner Kari.' **

**Things that need emphasis**

_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. _

A month later Kari woke up feeling very sick and went to throw up in her bathroom. Kari was starting to feel a little worried, she had been sick for the past month, the only thing showing a sign was throwing up, and she felt slightly dizzy and tired. She didn't throw up everyday but when she did, it was pretty bad. 'Dear porcelain throne you're the only one who understands me…' Kari retched again. A hand pulled her hair back and another rubbed her back. Once Kari felt like she couldn't throw up no more the hand that was rubbing her back snaked around her waist and helped her to the sink. "Thank you Itachi." She groaned.

"Hn." He responded. Kari began to wash off the spittle on her face. She felt something, another presence in the room. When she finished she began to look for the presence. "What're you doing?" He asked as Kari peered behind the shower curtain.

'This is odd…I can't find it anywhere!' she still felt it 'Unless…' Kari blanched "Naomi!" Kari ran out of the room to find her sister leaving a very weirded out Itachi. 'Kuso where is she!?' she finally found Naomi in the kitchen. "Ano…Naomi?"

"Yeah?"

"I need you…to come to…town with me…."

"Alright." Naomi was worried about how strange her sister was acting.

Later…

"So why do we have to go to town?" Naomi asked.

"I need to pick up something." Kari answered. They exited the forest and walked to the drugstore. Kari went up to a certain aisle and picked up a small package.

Naomi blanched "Oh god no! You're serious!"

"Naomi…please…"

"Oh right. Sorry." They went up and paid for the box and were back in Kari's room.

"I have been wrong before. Wish me luck." Kari said gravely.

Naomi was sitting on Kari's bed. "I'll pray." Kari went to the bathroom. 10 minutes went by and Naomi knocked on the door "Well?" She got no answer. "Come on." Kari opened the door and flashed something in Naomi's face. "Oh." Naomi embraced her shocked sister. "You should be happy."

"But…how could this have happened?" How do I…" Even her inner was speechless. She fainted a long time ago.

"Don't worry." Naomi said as she grabbed Kari's hand and dragged her to the kitchen.

"Who died?" Kisame and Sasori asked at once.

"It's nothing." Kari murmured. From the depressed state she was in the others decided not to pursue the subject further.

It was only when Kari went off to the living room did Itachi go after her and took her to the hallway. "There's something you are not telling me."

Kari shifted her gaze "I…" she sighed. Itachi continued to stare. Kari gave her head a rough shake. "I'm pregnant."

(THERE!! THE HAMMER HAS HIT! DUN DUN DUN! AND I GOT IT OUT IN THE OPEN!)

Itachi was nonetheless shocked. "How did this happen?" It was silent. They both tried to remember.

"Kisame's birthday party….it's the only time I could remember…"

Itachi nodded memories slowly coming back. "And it's mine?" Kari nodded. They were silent for a minute. "We can't let leader find out. He'll kick both of us out. I know it." He murmured. Kari nodded again.

'How things are slowly turning upside down…' Kari thought 'Gotta pee!'

Later Kari and Naomi were collapsed on the couch. The others were at a meeting and Kari wasn't allowed to be there. Both were watching TV. "Remember when I used to break into the okiya in the dead of night?" Kari asked petting Mika behind the ears.

"Yes." Naomi answered.

"That was fun." Kari commented. Naomi nodded her head.

"Well today was quite a day." Naomi said half n hour later.

"Yeah."

"So happy birthday." Naomi said.

"Today is-"

"April 7th."

"Oh god it is too!" Kari squealed. She then put a hand on her tummy. "well I got one hell of a present."

"That you did."

"What sucks is that pepsi tastes like someone left a penny in there." Kari sighed. "Well I better get back to cleaning." Kari bustled off.

A month later…

Kari still got very nasty bouts of morning sickness. She sat up on her bed and ate the soda crackers and ginger ale she left out the night before. She put both her hands on her stomach. 'I'm 2 months along now…what the?' she didn't feel one but two auras in her womb. 'Oh my god! I have twins!' Kari started to laugh. Itachi came in to check on her only to be pulled into a bone-breaking hug by Kari. "Twins!" she whispered excitedly in his ear.

"I can't breathe." He mumbled. Kari let go.

"So you aren't happy?"

"I am." He emphasized that by placing his hands on her stomach. She put her hands on top of his.

Soon after Kari was continuing her housekeeping duties. Her job right now was to try and dust 2 months worth of dust.

"But the dust helps us remember where we set shit." Hidan commented.

"I know but the leader deems it unhealthy." Kari said while cleaning a bookshelf.

"The cleaners make me high." Sasori added.

"Hm yeah un. Lemon pledge is the worst un." Deidara added.

"I'll do it. Please rest Kari-chan." Naomi said taking the bottle from her sister.

"It's not like I'm going to inhale the fumes on purpose." Kari said as she sat down, glad for the excuse, feeling tired.

"Yeah but you can't afford any more brain damage." Itachi responded.

"You're an asshole."

"But you love me for it." he answered. Kari just glared, and then went to get something from the kitchen, Mika attacking her housecoat all the way.

"What's with you dog?" Kari muttered as she attempted to pry the now almost fully-grown dog off. She came up to just above Kari's knee. She poured herself a glass of water and came back to the others who were watching 'The price is right.' "We all know it's Kakuzu's turn."

"Can it." he said calmly.

"I'll bet he has a thing for bob barker." Kisame added.

"I'm serious shut it." Kakuzu said, his voice slightly trembling in rage. Kari and Kisame did as they were told, the last time they upset Kakuzu the TV was thrown at them, and the money to buy a new one came out of their wage.

"I like it where Bob kicked Adam Sandler's ass in 'Happy Gilmore.'" Sasori said.

"Yeah. 'Now you're gonna get it Bobby!" Hidan added.

"Sandler's cool." Tobi put in his 2 cents.

Nothing else happened that night. Kari laid beside her sister catching up on old times they could barely remember and discussing other things until finally dropping off side-by-side.

_END!!_

_There that's the worst of it…now you're probably all wondering why I did what I did. Well honestly I don't know…plus it helps add dramatic tension in some parts close to the end, plus I can just continue from where I left off for when I can start writing the sequel. Alright I need 4 reviews in order to update!! Thank you if you do! _

_Sakura Sama 101_


	14. Horomones

_Wow! Thanks very much for all the support you have given! I was totally wrong about writing that one part and glad that I added it in. I just want to bring up one topic that we are all familiar with. That's right, pairings. Personally my favourite pairing in all of Naruto is Sasuke and Hinata (I don't know why…to me they are just a cute couple and both are part of important families)) but I luv NejixTen, SasuxSaku, ShikaxIno, NaruxHina, GarraxHina and I really only like DeixSas for a yaoi and occasionally ItaxKisame, and if boredom really gets me then I read SasuxIta. Alright, enough of my rambling and lets get with it shall we? _

_Oh wait…I lied…one more thing…this is the last chapter written in my ACDC book…I'm so sad…but I got a new book that has puppies that has a million pages so I think I'll have lots of room to write the sequel in there too!! _

_Now we'll get on with it…_

'**Inner Kari.' **

**Things that need emphasis**

_Song lyrics_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…(sniff) _

A month later Kari woke up feeling really happy 'Oh god am I high?' Kari checked herself in the mirror, nothing weird **'You know mood swings are normal right?' **'But this is insane!!' Kari walked out with a big grin and was sad to find out that no one was there but she was immediately happy again. 'I really want to do something weird….' She picked up the note on the fridge saying that everyone was out in the town doing errands. Kari went back to her room and began to flick through her CDs and pulled out a burned CD the only stereo in the lair was in the living room and off she went with the CD. **'What are you doing?' **'Well I have to get this out of my system, and I might as well do I when no one's home.' She popped the CD in the stereo and put it on a song. 'Strangely enough I don't mind this song…even though it's the opposite of my personality.' The music began to play

_You ask me why I change the colour of my hair…yeah_

_You ask me why I need 32 pairs of shoes…to wear_

_You seem to ask me why I got a lot of things; it's just a chick thing_

_You oughta let it got, and try to understand but you don't have a cluuuuuuuuuuuuuue!_

'**OH GOD NOOO!' **Kari was dancing as she sang.

_That's what girls do! We keep you guessing the whole day through,_

_Play your emotions push all your buttons its true…that's what girls_ _do_

'**PLEASE! WHY?!' **Inner Kari was freaking out, her outer was insane, dancing in pajamas and dancing and singing this song, it was all right but she wasn't admitting it.

_You gotta ask me why I play so hard to get…yeah_

_You ask me do I play it cool just to make you sweat…yeah_

_You want some kind of explanation I can give, it's just a chick thing _

_That you're messing with, to me it's black and white but it's not getting dirtier_

'**Fine! It's an alright song! Please stop!' **

The others walked in and thought they got the wrong place cause the music coming from the living room. When they stepped inside they saw a sight they would never see again. Deidara took a picture with his new camera phone.

"What the fuck?" Hidan asked. Kari panicked then froze.

"Now, now some of the emotions she's feeling are hard to control." Naomi paused "I mean she is still a teenager…you do have estrogen in there!! Somewhere in there, in that body there is a woman!" The others just stared, confused or not comprehending what she said "Forget it." Naomi left.

Kari spotted the bag of groceries and yanked one out of Itachi's hands and headed for the kitchen, the others followed. Kari was yanking out bread and immediately took bags from them and pulled out peanut butter carrots…whipped cream. The others just watched her eat it.

(My piano teacher when she did work experience for my mom and her boss Wendy, my mom said that she used to eat peanut butter and carrot sandwiches, there was another one that she used to eat but I can't remember what it was. Then she got pregnant…and I just assumed another wacky ingredient was added. Oh and halfdemon-kai, she had her baby and I get to see her Tuesday! I'm so happy! She had a little girl named…Adrianna I think…that or Adrienne)

"That can't be good." Kisame said.

"It isn't good, it's great!" Kari answered. She then mixed Grenadine and cranberry juice and 7up (my own combination or a Shirley temple…I think) the others did their own thing.

Tomorrow Kari found herself sleeping on the living room carpet with Mika licking her face and Itachi picking her up. "I'm staying with you to make sure you don't do that again." Itachi said letting her down in the kitchen.

"Yeah but I'm awake now."

"You know what I mean." Itachi answered. Kari went slightly red then punched him in the head.

"What was that for?" he asked rubbing the goose egg on his head.

"For that comment…which reminds me…" she hit him again "that was for asking if they were yours."

Tobi walked into the kitchen. "Whoa Kari-kun you really let yourself go!" Toby gestured at her belly, which was slightly protruding from her pjs. He found himself going through the wall moments later.

'**Dude only you, Itachi and Naomi know.' **'He was implying that I was fat!' **'Good point, but you should get dressed.' **Kari walked out and did her morning routine then came out in a black shirt with net sleeves saying 'shit happens when you're naked.' With black baggy pants, she sighed as she grabbed a bandana and hauled out the evil vacuum cleaner.

"Whatcha doing un?" Deidara asked peering at her.

"My job." Kari turned it on. Deidara was like a little brother to her for he was always curious and full of energy.

"it's hard to believe that you're our housekeeper un." Deidara said. They were now in the living room. Deidara sat down on the couch. All the others seemed depressed in one way or another. She sweeped, and mopped, did dishes, the laundry and was just eating lunch when Itachi came up to her.

"The leader wishes to speak wit us." He said sitting beside her. Kari nodded, a majority of an onigiri stuffed in her mouth. She swallowed.

"Did he say why?" Kari asked. Itachi remained silent 'I'll take that as a no…' she finished a boxful of onigiri and moved to a large salad.

"Are you alright?" He felt her forehead. She flipped him off. "I'll bite it off." She still kept her finger high and proud. He grabbed her hand and she began to choke on a large chunk of tomato. She managed to get it down. "Since when did you start eating salad?"

"You were gonna bite my finger off!"

"Answer my question."

"Just recently." She stood up. "Lets go see what leader wants."

They went down to his office. "Sit." He said calmly. Both sat in two chairs in front of his desk "Kari Toshikawa, I release you from my service."

"What?" she asked numb with disbelief **'What!?' **

"You're fired. I have no more use for you as I've already hired another housekeeper."

"But why?!" Kari asked **'That fucker better have a good reason!' **But he didn't say anything but pointed to her stomach.

"I also can't have a member who has such a weakness. Suppose an enemy catches hold of this slut? Suppose they threaten to kill her and her unborn child unless you Itachi pass along information about plans we are making or our whereabouts. I cannot afford such a weakness. That is why you, this tramp and her sister are to leave tonight." The leader spoke.

Kari was trembling with rage, her face was pulled into a silent snarl "DO YOU THINK THAT I PLANNED ON GETTING PREGNANT?!" she roared shocking all of them. The others ran in to watch Kari yell at the leader. Tobi even had popcorn. "DO YOU THINK I WANTED TO THROW AWAY EVERYTHING I HAD FOR SOMEONE TO DO ME?!?!"

"I WILL NOT BE SPOKEN TO THAT WAY!!" he bellowed back

'There goes trying to talk him out of this…' Itachi grimly thought.

"YOU KNOW WHAT?! FUCK YOU!! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY I TOOK THIS JOB! THEY PAY SUCKED! I DON'T NEED THIS!! WE'RE GOING TO KONOHA!!" Kari turned around, grabbed Itachi and left the office up to her room. Her chest was rising and falling heavily. She began to pack up her things, Naomi did as well in her room.

There was a knock at the door "Can I come in?" Kisame's voice asked.

"Yeah." Kari answered. Itachi was already packed. He wore a shirt with a high collar and Uchiha emblem on the back and long black pants. They looked over to Kisame who had on blue pants and a navy blue T.

"I resigned. I'm coming with you." He answered their questioning looks. "I'd miss you guys too much." Naomi stepped in with a pack and had on a dark brown travelling cloak.

"I'm ready." She spoke. They nodded. Everyone said their goodbyes to eachother. Itachi nodded to them all in turn. Kisame shook hands or gave them a bear hug. Naomi hugged them all in turn and Kari did the same.

"I promise to keep in touch and write." Kari said as she hugged Sasori then Hidan.

"Take care of yourself." Sasori said.

"Goodbye you guys."

"Goodbye Kari-kun." They all said.

Kari was bawling hysterically by the time they were a good few miles away from the town.

"HEY UN!! WAIT UN!!" Deidara's voice cut through the silence.

"Deidara-kun?" Naomi asked. Deidara came into sight and came to a halt out of breath.

"I resigned un. Gave him 4 seasons his soaps un. Plus he said he was going to fire me anyway un. I've never been to Konoha un." They continued walking. Sometime around nightfall they made camp.

"Kari-chan, you alright? Do you want more breaks? We only want you and the twins' safety." Naomi said.

"No, no it's fine." Kari answered snuggling up to Mika. Everyone slowly fell asleep, but not before Naomi asked that they make a quick stop in Kirigakure. They accepted. Kari finally dropped off into a light slumber.

_END!!!_

_Man…whatever you were expecting in this chapter, I bet it wasn't that! Bam in your face! Jk jk! I honestly can't thank you for the reviews! Especially those who review every chapter…I cannot express my gratitude in words. Unfortunately I haven't quite finished the filler chapter yet, but I'm 2 thirds done, I have one more story left to write, so far I have 'Tsunade the slug sannin' 'Babysitting the Hyuugas' and currently working on 'Cowboys and Indians.' I may have a forth one written depending on how many pages the other 3 take. So please look for that later next week, there are no guarantees though, 4 more reviews before I update!! Please and thanks_

_Sakura Sama 101 _


	15. filler chapter 3

_Hey everyone!! Sorry for the late update but things have been busy and I was also finishing the next filler chapter so I could get the next 7 chapters out quickly and with little to no effort. I just had a flashback weekend…I'm sure the anime "Digimon" is a part of almost every kids' memories…it is in mine…and I'm starting to watch the episodes over again and starting to read the fanfiction…which I have a thing for KarixMatt and MattxTai pairings…(that's the only pairings I've read so far.) I pretty much like any pairing in Naruto…oh and if you want me to read your stories or a friends, don't hesitate to ask…I have lots of time on my hands! I better stop now…_

'**Inner Kari.' **

**Things that need emphasis**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto_

(ruler)

Tsunade the slug sannin

AN: this story I kinda just thought up and my hand just started writing it out with no order from my brain…(it seems like I'm writing more angsty stuff as I go along just wait until the next filler…) so here goes.

(ruler)

16-year-old Kari was wondering the streets of a desolate town. Tears slowly slid down her cheeks, slowly washing the grit and blood that had accumulated there over the months. Without warning her body collapsed and she fell in the middle of a busy street.

"Out of the way you stupid beggar girl!" A man roared and raised a threatening leg. Kari willed her body to make one final attempt to move into the shabby alleyway off to her right. Anyone she knew wouldn't have been able to recognise her. Black hair that once flowed down her back was matted and caked with blood and oil. Blue eyes that once shimmered were dull. Her body was nothing but skin and bones and splotched with mud, her clothes were torn and hung off her loosely by the threads and were covered with blood from various wounds littering Kari's body, some were still bleeding.

Kari sank to her knees, her stomach ached with hunger and her throat parched with thirst. Hidden light had just lost to Orochimaru and Kari was one of the couple hundred that escaped. 'I couldn't protect them…I failed to protect the ones I loved again!' she began to sob bitterly and pulled her last arrow from out of her quiver. **'No! We're not resorting to that! Look there's a vendor we could steal from!' **Kari let out a bitter laugh. "What good would that do? I'm too weak to run, face it, I'm dying, and we're dying." She whispered 'We might as well finish us off.' Kari raised her hand holding the arrow and began to swing it down when her inner began to control the same arm. The two had a battle of wills.

"Hey!" Someone called. Kari jumped and in that movement sliced a deep wound to her wrist. The figure that called was slowly starting to blur but it was getting closer. She was picked up and passed out as the exited the alley.

(ruler)

Kari woke up to find herself in a small room, judging from the walls, which were wood was that she was in a medium sized hut. A woman in her early twenties with short black hair and dark eyes stepped in holding a pig. Seeing Kari awake she quickly left the room, she raised an arm to find it fully healed, same as the other arm.

"Don't get up." A strong female voice ordered. Kari turned her head to see a blonde with a gem in the middle of her forehead, inhuman sized breasts, tall but perfect figure and a sake bottle in hand. The woman that she saw earlier was at her side. Kari stayed sitting. The blonde began to examine her. She frowned as she looked over "When was the last time you've eaten something?"

Kari tried using her voice but it refused to work. The blonde grabbed a bowl of water, then handed it over and Kari began to drink it greedily but then the blonde took it away. "slow." Kari began to drink slower so that the bowl of water wouldn't be taken away again. The blonde filled it up once it was empty. "When was the last itme you ate a normal meal besides scraps?"

"Two…weeks." Kari's voice came out as a croak.

"Shizune get some food." The blonde ordered. The dark haired girl ran off and came back with a small bowl of rice. "eat this, you'll get more in two hours time. Your body isn't used to a normal portion so we have to feed you small amounts of food more often. If you did get a normal amount of food, you would die from going into shock." Kari began to eat the food. "who are you?"

"Kari." Kari choked out. She almost finished her rice "Who are you?"

"I'll tell you that later. If you need assistance call Shizune. I'll be in the other room."

Kari got better, in 5 days she could walk around the room but was still pretty weak. The blonde looked over her again. "tut…we need to get you clean." Shizune and the blonde helped her get to a bathing basin in the next room. Soon the blonde was helping her bathe.

"So…what's your name so I can properly thank you?"

"Tsunade."

Kari whipped around "**The Tsunade?!** The slug sannin?"

"Obviously." She pushed Kari's head down to get her hair wet.

"I…looked up to you as a child, I'm a medic nin too…but I was in a battle and an enemy-"

"Badly damaged your chakra points." Tsunade finished. "I healed them up as best as I could but only a Hyuuga would know for sure."

Kari chuckled "So if you're the real Tsunade-sama…why are you so young? Aren't you supposed to be 50?"

"I'm not telling my secrets." Tsunade answered. They finished their business and Kari was back on her futon. She waited, watching the birds outside. Shizune came with her afternoon meal. Kari began to wat it and looked off back to the sunshine.

Later Tsunade came in "Hey Tsunade-oba-chan!" Kari joked.

Tsunade got an anger tick "don't call me that."

"Why?" Kari coyly asked.

"It makes me feel old." She said, barely keeping the anger in.

"But you are."

"I'M NOT OLD!!" Tsunade roared.

"Kay! Calm down lady!" Kari laughed. She then noticed the pig in her arms. "Who's pig?"

"Mine, this is Ton-Ton."

"Lets cook him."

"Lets not."

"I won't cook him if I become your apprentice." Kari answered.

"Why would you want to be my apprentice?" Tsunade asked.

Kari sighed, "I always fail to protect the ones I love. No matter how strong I try to become. Many people have died or gotten injured because I was too ignorant and not strong enough to defend them."

Tsunade felt pity for her as her own memories resurfaced. "Fine, I guess I'll train you but don't expect it to be easy." And over the next couple of weeks Kari learned many things, like healing without wasting as much chakra, Tsunade's own powerful attacks and some basics on summoning.

Now a month later Kari was by herself in the house. Tsunade was probably out drinking again and sure enough Tsunade came in completely plastered and moaning stuff. Kari never dealt with Tsunade when she was like this. Shizune usually did that and Kari did what she saw Shizune do, she pried Tsunade away from a coat rack she was talking to and Tsunade ripped herself away and promptly threw up on the carpet.

'**Jesus Christ!!'** Kari sighed and helped Tsunade to her room.

"I'mm fiinne!" Tsunade moaned. Kari ignored her "Kaaarrriii! Havve some saaake with meee!"

Kari deep down wanted to try it but something was in the way **'This is a really bad idea! Don't you dare!' **Kari ignored her inner and soon she and Tsunade were streaking through the house.

Shizune came home to that 'I hate my job…'

END!!!

(ruler)

Babysitting the Hyuugas

AN: I had this idea in my head for a long time but the problem was how to do it…so I had some minor writers block on there but watching my brothers and thinking of my favourite pairing helped me out big time. So here goes.

(ruler)

'This is bad…really bad.' Kioshi thought to himself.

The phone rang in the Uchiha household and Sasuke answered. "Hello?" Kioshi said something "Hello?" and there would be silence "Hello?"

Kioshi was desperately trying to get Sasuke to hand the phone to his brother. He was relieved when another voice was heard saying "Sasuke give me the phone please. There was another pause "Hello?"

"Itachi-kun! My bestest buddy in the world-"

"What do you want Kioshi?"

"I need your help! You and Kari need to come to the Hyuuga compound immediately!"

Kari watched Itachi talking on the phone, as per usual he only said 'Hn.' Or 'Ah.' Then 'Goodbye.' He hung up the phone "Kari-kun we need to elave."

"Itachi-chan! Take Sasuke with you!" Mikoto called. Sasuke bounded along behind them as they left the house.

"So where do we have to go?" Kari asked.

"The supermarket." He answered.

After they finished at the supermarket they were at the Hyuuga manor. Kioshi was spreading Mayonnaise on his sandwich "Thanks guys." Kioshi said after he took a bite from his sandwich. "It's just not the same without mayo."

'I would never've came if this were what he wanted.' Kari thought. Sasuke was peering behind Kari's legs.

Hiashi walked into the room "Kioshi-san, I need you to babysit Neji, Hinata and Hanabi, they're in the other room." Hiashi left.

"That man is scary." Sasuke whispered to Kari, she smiled. Itachi hoisted his brother up on his shoulders. "We have to go." They began to go to the door.

"Wait! Help me babysit! Please!" Kioshi called to them. Kari glanced at Itachi who sighed.

"Fine." Itachi mumbled and they turned around. Kioshi took them to a sitting room where Neji was sitting on a couch and Hinata was drawing while playing with baby Hanabi.

Kari's first reaction to Hinata was that she wanted to hug her and not let go.

Saskue shyly peered around Kari's legs "Is that an angel Kari-kun?" he whispered.

Hinata blushed under Sasuke's stare. Kioshi did the introductions and they sat down. Hinata shyly went up and showed Kari her picture she was drawing.

"D-Do you like it?" Hinata asked.

"I love it very much." Kari answered, Hinata smiled and sat down beside them. Neji was very sulky and refused to come near them, when Hinata asked if he was hungry his eyes softened but immediately said 'no' in a cold tone. Hanabi began to cry and Hinata and Kari immediately went over to see what was wrong, she didn't smell so they assumed she was hungry. Kari picked up Hanabi and the girls went to the kitchen. Sasuke went over to Neji.

"You look lonely." Sasuke commented. "Do you want company?" Neji didn't answer so Sasuke sat beside him.

"You don't know how I feel, having someone close to you pretty much killing the only person you loved." Neji said.

Sasuke sighed "I don't know how that feels but I'll be your friend if it helps." Neji nodded, then a broight flash of light temporarily blinded them.

"This is going to make such a cute picture!" Kari cooed. Hinata giggled. Both boys went a little red but stayed where they were. Itachi and Kioshi had the TV on Scooby-Doo. Sasuke was on Kari's right side, Neji was on her left and Kari had Hanabi in 1 arm and Hinata in her lap.

"Kari, how do you not have personal space issues?" Kioshi asked.

"I love kids. Hinata you can stay." Kari answered reading the girl's mind. Scooby-Doo was over a couple of minutes later. It was then Itachi and Kioshi's turn so they began to do other things like draw.

"Whatcha drawing Hinata-chan?" Sasuke asked.

Hinata began to go red, "its n-nothing."

"C-mon lemme see, I won't laugh or do anything mean like that." He tried peeking over her paper but she clutched it like a hen protecting her eggs.

"Maybe when I'm f-finished." Hinata said. They continued to draw.

"I've never seen Kari-kun warm up to a child like that." Itachi said to Kioshi after Kari suddenly hugged Hinata.

"Neither have I, and I can assume why she'd warm up to Hinata-sama of all people. Hinata's very shy and I think Kari sees a little of herself in Hinata and feels the need to protect her, that and she probably wants Hinata to come out of her shell."

"Quit reading my mind Kioshi-kun." Kari called. While they were drawing Hinata stole glances at Sasuke and drawing on her paper. Neji saw this and scowled but did nothing.

"You hungry Itachi?" Kioshi asked. Itachi nodded "Is anyone else hungry?"

a chorus of "Yes!" rang through the room. Neji followed Itachi and Kioshi to the kitchen.

"Kioshi-sama will you teach me Jyuuken?" Neji asked.

"You know how Hiashi-sama will react to that."

"I know but if it were secret and, when I'm older you could teach me." Neji said.

"Maybe." Kioshi whispered.

"Jyuken? But I thought you were in the branch family?" Itachi asked.

"I pulled a 'Kari'."

"Ah."

They went back to the sitting room with snacks. Kari adjusted Hanabi in her arms and winced.

"Someone made a stinky." Kari announced, Hanabe gurgled happily…and…wait for it………………Itachi HAS TO CHANGE HER DIAPER!!!

"I'll help." Kari said. They put clothes pins on their noses and Itachi put on rubber gloves "think of it as training for when you have your own kids."

"hn." He responded. Hanabi was giving them a 'Please get this over with look.' Kioshi and Sasuke were chuckling and Hinata stood at kari's side watching with a grin on her face. Neji was watching TV.

They pulled off the diaper and wiped her bottom and put on a fresh diaper. "See that wasn't so bad." Kari said.

'There's no way in hell I'm changing my kid's diapers.' Itachi thought as he sat down.

Kari and Hinata began to play with Hanabi and Saskue looked at Hinata's picture that she wouldn't let him see before. It was beautiful. It was a picture of Sasuke in what he was wearing and she drew his hair near perfect and his face was happy.

"This is a great picture Hina-chan!!" Sasuke called.

Hinata turned and saw sasuke hldig her picture and turned a brilliant shade of scarlet "T-T-Thank you S-S-Sasuke-k-kun…" She had her eyes to the ground and was smiling.

'I have a feeling, those 2 are destined for eachother.' Kari thought **'Don't we know it.' **

Hiashi entered the room again "The council is over. You may all leave."

Kari handed Hinata a drawing with something scribbled on the bottom.

_Feel free to come over, I'm usually at the Uchihas, but you're welcome there anytime. And in a few years I might teach music. I'll try to come over too._

_-Kari_

_END! _

(ruler)

Cowboys and Indians

AN: well I just wrote this name down to make it look like I had more ideas then I really did…but then I started thinking about this one and finally got something for it…and just a warning….it's really short….

(ruler)

Sasuke got up at 6:00 in the morning and met all of his buddies in the park. Sasuke dumped out a bunch of old clothes and toys.

Mikoto woke up to find Sasuke gone. She sighed that boy had so much energy. She walked to Itachi's room to find him still asleep. She watched him for a minute before gently pushing him awake. "I'm sorry for waking you up, especially after you finished a mission but Sasuke's gone. I'll go wake up Kari." Mikoto left. Itachi got dressed and exited the room. When he finished breakfast Kari came out, her hair stuck out in weird places but she was dressed. Kari grabbed some toast on their way out. They walked around town with no luck until they passed a park where a bunch of kids were playing either wearing cowboy hats and had toy guns or were wearing feathers and had toy axes.

"Kari-chan! Itachi-nii!" Saskue came running over. Kari chuckled. Sasuke had a hat that was a couple sizes too big and his holsters were too low.

"You're one rootin tootin cowpoke alright." Kari chuckled.

"Neji's an Indian look!" Sasuke said. Neji was in native clothes with a feathered headband looking very surly indeed. Hinata came up blushing.

"G-Good morning." Hinata shyly whispered.

"Well, I'm an Indian…Itachi will you play?" Kari asked. Itachi nodded. Sasuke put an extremely dusty hat on Itachi's head.

"New game!" Sasuke called. The game is basically a mixture of cops and robbers and house. All the Indians ran off into the bush. The cowboys began to count to 30 then began to search the bushes. The Indians that got caught were put in jail.

Hinata and Kari were up in a tree, using the leaves as camouflage.

"T-This was a good hiding spot." Hinata whispered.

"Yeah, this definitely gives us an advantage." Kari whispered. Many cowboys passed under them and never even bothered to look up.

Hinata and Kari were giggling at their success and scared a couple of birds that scared Hinata and she fell out of the tree but, Kari grabbed Hinata's ankle and held her in the air, and things only seemed to be getting worse.

'Oh shit! Itachi!' Kari screamed in her head. With a great burst of strength she pulled Hinata back up. Kari peeked out to see where Itachi's location was.

"A good hiding spot but not good enough." A voice whispered in their ears.

'Shit!' Kari thought and both Hinata and Kari turned around and Itachi was lazily glancing at them Kari sighed as she and Hinata followed Itachi back 'And now…'

all the indians were put in jail. Kari took that as an opportunity to catch up on a few Zs, but whenever she'd fall asleep a kid (usually Naruto) would prod her awake again and eventually they were let go and Mikoto made her appearance.

"I'm sorry but I need to borrow Kari and Itachi."

Both of them were grateful for the excuse to leave.

END!!

_Yeah I know…short for a filler…but the next one will also be short but longer than this one...so yeah I'll have the next one up soon! 4 reviews until I update!! Thankyou for supporting Akatsuki's flower!!_

_Sakura Sama 101_

_(BTW…how many peeps could imagine Kari and Matt from digimon as a couple? I could but I also think TK and Kari fit together more…I might write a digimon fanfic…but I won't be like my friend halfdemon-kai and do it here and now…jk jk Brittany lolz after I finish one of my other stories…) _


	16. fate's twisted web

_Hey, sorry for taking a while…but the later chapters are at a critical point and I have to write them at home then when I'm at school, and usually I update when I'm on the computer but I just haven't had no time. Well anyways that's all I have to talk about and lets get on with it shall we?_

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_Quote of the chapter: "You shall judge a man by his foes as well as his friends" –Joseph Conrad_

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'**Inner Kari.'**

**Things that need emphasis**

**Jutsu:names.**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto 

Everyone woke up the next morning to Kari retching in a nearby bush and Naomi consoling her. "Are you absolutely sure you'll be able to travel today?" Naomi asked.

"Yes…I'll be fine." Kari answered shakily standing up.

"I thought you were past puking your guts out un." Deidara commented.

"Not quite." Kari muttered as an answer.

"Well…if everyone's ready…" Kisame and Itachi were waiting for them. "Kirigakure is still 2 days away. Kisame added. Everyone else finished their packing and were on their way.

Kari was in deep thought 'Alright…it's around month 3 now…I wonder if I can do this?' she looked into her fellow companions' auras. She looked for something all the men's auras had in common. Mainly she could feel the masculinity and they also had a little more blue. Naomi's was a little more fainter and white mostly. She then sensed he auras inside herself. She compared the first aura to herself and found little to nothing in common, then compared it to Itachi's and found it was 3 quarters identical 'A boy I can safely assume.' The second aura however was much closer to hers 'I hope that's a girl!' **'Tree!' **'What?' Kari stopped to see the tree in front of her. 'Oh good call.'

"Anything wrong?" Itachi asked. Kari shook her head. "We're going to have a break." Kari stopped and rested against a tree. Mika was at her side. She absent-mindedly patted the dog while watching the others as they got a small fire going and were cooking some hotdogs. Everyone did their own little thing until Itachi said that they should get moving and to Kari's surprise he picked her up bridal style. She noticed Deidara was giving Naomi a rid since she couldn't use chakra; it would be a faster trip that way. She soon fell asleep in his arms. When she woke up it was already nightfall. Kari got up and no sooner did she do that did Deidara come over.

"Supper un." He gave her a bowl of rice. Kari began to eat it. He had a big grin plastered to his face.

"What are you smiling for?" Kari asked him curiously.

"I've never been anywhere except for Suna and Iwa, and tomorrow I get to see where fishy-chan lives!" Deidara said happily.

"I heard that." Kisame muttered darkly from across the fire. Naomi chuckled. Itachi remained silent at her other side. Kari had a lone earbud connected to her 10-year-old CD player. The volume was on low so she could hear the others talk while petting Mika behind the ears.

"Well I'm off to bed." Naomi said crawling into her camp roll. Kari was slowly beginning to nod off, and the others did the same. Kari woke up that morning and packed up and walked half a kilometre before the others caught up to her. Mist slowly began to engulf them and became thicker still as they headed for their destination. They used chakra to run across the water (Naomi had to be carried of course) they walked the streets and what they saw even made Deidara's happy-go-lucky attitude disappear. The people if it were even possible were gloomier and it hung in thick curtains like the mist in the city. Houses seemed more desolate and crime had even risen. They went up to an in and got a medium sized room and stayed there for the day.

Next morning Kari woke up in her room alone. A note was on the desk explaining where all of them had gone. Sad that she was being ditched she decided to take a walk. Letting her feet have total control, they led her to a bridge where a ferocious battle was taking place. She hid her presence and jumped on one of the pillars so she could get a birds eye view. She immediately recognised Hatake Kakashi and an older Haruno Sakura and 'Sasuke-chan!' she watched as Sasuke matched Haku move for move with incredible speed and reflexes. 'Kakashi-san trained them well! Sasuke's grown much more stronger then I imagined.' **'And he kept the funky hairstyle we made.' **Kari continued to watch.

**Secret art of water: Thousand needles of death**

Kari let a frown on her face but Sasuke jumped high in the air and dodged it and threw some well aimed shuriken at Haku but he dodged them.

"You're not that fast. Now you're the one who has to worry about defending yourself from my attacks." Sasuke said reappearing behind Haku. He aimed an attack with the back end of his kunai which Haku easily deflected but didn't realize he threw it and got a swift kick to the face.

'Yeah! Go Sasuke go! Your brother would be proud along with your mom and dad!' Kari stopped her victory dance. 'Why is the air so cold?' she let out an involuntary gasp as water formed into ice blocks and surrounded Sasuke. She slowly began to panic as Haku stepped into one 'Oh no.' she let out a quiet shriek as she heard Sasuke's anguished screams. Kakashi swivelled his head in her general direction, Kari disappeared but not before he caught a small glimpse.

'No that couldn't be….' He thought to himself. But before he could ponder that a big puff of smoke diverted everyones' attention.

"Uzumaki Naruto! At your service!!" Naruto called out "Here I am to save the day! You know how the story goes. Things look bleak till the hero arrives and then POW!! Bye bye bad guys!"

Kari wanted to bang her head repeatedly on the pole next to her but luckily she had enough self control not to 'Doesn't he know the meaning of stealth?!' Zabuza threw numerous shuriken at Naruto but Haku deflected them with his senbon. At the time Haku was talking to Zabuza Naruto snuck into the crystal ice mirrors with Sasuke.

"Yo! Sasuke-teme! I'm here to rescue you!" Naruto's voice rang out. Kari managed not to bang her head this time either.

**KATON: GOUYAKU NO JUTSU **(Fire style: grand fireball technique.)

All that could be seen from the outside was a bright orange light. Kari also heard Naruto attempt his Kage bunshin technique but that also had no success. She only half listened as Kakashi launched into a speech about Kekki genkai but understood that both Naruto and Sasuke didn't have the right mindset to kill someone. 'I had to learn the hard way, just like them.' She watched as Kakashi and Zabuza were about to get ready to fight.

"You'll forgive me if I put an end to this…!" Kakashi said beginning to lift up the part of his headband covering his lazy…I mean sharingan eye!

"hehe…going to use the Sharingan? What a vulgar manover, so obvious, so lacking in finesse." Zabuza answered. Kari continued to watch the battle but got sidetracked when Kisame appeared beside her.

"Where've you been? Everyone's starting to worry. Itachi-san's looking for you." Kisame informed. Kari pointed to the battle below. "Oh hey, the brat."

Kari looked over at Kisame "Kisame-kun…tell everyone I'm find and I'll be back soon, and tell Itachi 'Sasuke's on the bridge.' He'll understand."

"Alright." And Kisame left with confusion writtein all over his face. Kari soon found herself immersed in mist. She sat looking bored waiting for it to clear. She heard the sounds of metal hitting metal as Kakashi deflected shuriken.

'This certainty turned out interesting.' Kari thought to herself.

"Time to bring this to and end!!" Haku's voice yelled. Kari was afraid for Sasuke and Naruto.

"Sasuke won't be easy for someone like that masked kid to defeat! Neither will Naruto!" Sakura yelled out breaking Kari from her thoughts.

"You're right. I have faith in them and in their strengths. Naruto's unpredictability and Sasuke is one of the most worthy heirs to the most superior bloodline of Konohagakure village!" Kakashi added.

"You don't mean…" Zabuza began.

"That's right. His full name is Uchiha Sasuke. He's a ninja genius, who carries in his genes the kekkei genkai of the Uchiha clan!" Kakashi finished.

"He's the sole surviving member of that tragic clan eh?" Zabuza said. Kari began to silently laugh as he put both hands on her stomach. She couldn't help but feel something was wrong. She waited with baited breath as she listened for something from the other two.

"I swore I wouldn't die until I killed him. My older brother, I thought the oath would save me…but…" Sasuke spoke and Kari flinched. There was silence.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!" Naruto yelled. His chakra instantly changed.

END!!! 

_Heheheheheh I hope you can bear with me for another chapter…but since I have a long weekend it won't be a big problem since I'll have lots of time to work on it. Can you believe it if I told you this story is 26 chapters long? (Including the fillers.) ack well it's one in the morning and 4 more reviews until I update!!!! Please and thankyou! _


	17. Sasuke's discovery

_Thankyou very much for all the reviews! We broke my record of the most reviews for a chapter at once, it was 5 and now it's 6. that's right folks I got 6 reviews!! I'm so happy! And yes…I feel I have to rectify something, I meant to say I have 26 chapters written so far so I'm definitely not finished writing it yet!! _

_You also may be wondering about my quote of the chapter I started doing since last time, this is to honour my LA room, which is full of these quotes and where I get the inspiration to write my fanfiction and mostly this story._

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"_Behaviour is a mirror in which everyone displays his or her image." John wolfgang Von Goethe_

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'**inner Kari' **

**things that need emphasis**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto_

'Am…Am I…Am I dead?' Sasuke asked himself.

"Sasuke?" a familiar voice called. Sasuke decided to take a risk and very slowly opened his eyes. He saw his mother bending over him. She was wearing the same clothes and looked the same as on the day that she died, her skin glowed dimly in the field that they were in and a light breeze blew her hair.

"Okaa-san?" Sasuke's eyes began to well up with tears in spite of himself. "Am I dead? Where's Outo-san? I'm sorry I couldn't avenge you guys and slay Itachi."

Mikoto sadly smiled. "This is only a near death experience." She helped him into a reclining position and he saw Fugaku standing a few feet away. He came to his son. He too had a pale light radiation off his skin and looked exactly as he did the day he died.

"We're proud of you, you fought well out there my son."

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Meanwhile right after Naruto went off to attack Haku Kari ran to Sasuke's body 'Good he's still alive!' Kari began to pull out senbon and heal wounds. She left ones in that were in minor locations. She jumped out of sight halfway through when Naruto looked over and jumped back to finish after he looked away. She paused to hear Haku's story as she pulled out the last senbon she wanted out.

"Once…I was precious. I belonged to…my…parents. I was born in a snowy, little village in the land of mist. And I was happy my parents were good kind people but just as I was getting old enough to really notice the world around me…something happened."

"What happened?" Naruto asked.

"Blood, my blood."

"Blood!? So what are you talking about?!"

"My father killed my mother and tried to kill me." Haku said. Kari disappeared to her ledge and Naruto looked at him horrified. "The land of mist has been the scene of generations of non-stop war. Among its people, those who possess a kekkei-genkai are loathed as abominations. After the wars were over, we who possessed this trait were hunted, only able to survive by hiding the existence of our skills and our bloodline away. I'm sure the boy I killed, who shared that skill must also have grown up knowing the pain of which I speak. We are special, we are powerful and we are feared. My father learned that my mother came from such a clan…and before I even realized what I was about to do…my father had died…by my hand." Haku explained.

By then Kari had zoned out. Kari knew some of the pain went through, for it was rough having a kekkei genkai in a place that didn't welcome it. 'The fact was that no one I knew other then my family knew I had a kekkei genkai until I lost control. The reason I was kicked out was because of my purification and healing. They thought I would hurt someone else.'

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Sasuke stood up in the strange dream-like meadow that his parents were in, there were many flowers and large trees on the edge and in the middle stood a cottage.

"Don't worry, you can still avenge us, but we fear that you may have the wrong person. You're still going after Itachi aren't you?" Mikoto asked.

"Yes. So you're implying I've got the wrong person? How do I know this isn't some genjutsu **he** cast on me?" Sasuke coolly asked.

"Mr. Floofykins ran off and had 5 kittens. I don't think Itachi knew we had a cat." Mikoto answered.

"Good point." Sasuke said remembering. "So if Itachi didn't kill you Okaa-san then who did? I saw Itachi do it."

"Look underneath the underneath Sasuke. Our killer used Henge to change his appearance. He's none other than Orochimaru the snake sannin." Fugaku said.

"But why?" Sasuke asked. "How would you know this?"

"Well being dead gives powers that we never had when we were living." Mikoto answered.

"He wanted the sharingan." Fugaku added "But he feared having it used against him."

* * *

Kari was intently watching the battles and when she saw Haku sacrifice himself for Zabuza she felt so sad and heartbroken, yet she felt solace, that there were still good people in this world. 'The poor boy…' Kari found herself crying as much as she didn't want to, it was all so sad.

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"So let me get this straight, Itachi didn't commit the Uchiha massacre, Orochimaru did, posing as Itachi so that he could get either of our sharingan without interference, if his last attempt with Itachi failed he could use me, he's after me now." Sasuke went thought everything

"Yes." Mikoto said. "Itachi has been keeping tabs on you for the last 4 years. Kari met up with him recently and they are making plans to kill Orochimaru." Mikoto decided it was best to leave out the part that Sasuke is going to be an uncle. "They will be in Konoha soon and are closer than you think. Now we must say our goodbyes." Mikoto pulled Sasuke into an embrace. "Aishiteru Sasuke." (Aishiteru means I love you, just for those who don't know)

"Aishiteru okaa-san." Sasuke hugged her back. They finally let go and him and his father clasped hands, neither said anything but they looked at eachother with such emotion that words would have been out of place. He slowly slipped into a haze of black, the last thing he saw was his Mom and Dad side by side as warm darkness engulfed him once more.

* * *

'Who the fuck invited the midget?!' Kari asked herself looking at Gato. She scowled at the thugs behind him 'they have the audacity to think they can beat them?!' she couldn't hear what Gato said next but almost lost control when he started kicking around Haku's dead body. 'How **dare** he desecrate the dead!'

Naruto shared the same mindset "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING YOU ASS?!" Kari then tuned out the rest while pulling out her bow and an arrow in case things turned nasty. She put an arrow on the string but didn't pull it back

"Would you lend me your kunai knife?" Zabuza asked Naruto.

"Sure." Naruto chucked it to him and Zabuza ran toward Gato and his thugs. Kari began to let arrows fly at random times and all of them hit their target. She watched as Zabuza killed Gato by decapitation and collapsed.

Sasuke slowly began to regain consciousness; the first things he heard were anguished sobs and Sakura moaning out "Sasuke…"

'Was it all a dream? Sakura?' Sasuke opened his eyes "Sakura…your arm's heavy."

"SASUKE!!" Sakura cried in joy. Kari smiled, she was sorry she couldn't heal all the wounds but she got tired if she used a lot of chakra at once due to her condition. "Naruto! It's Sasuke. He's alright! He's alive!"

'Itachi would be proud of you Sasuke-kun.'

"So this is where you have been." A deep voice beside her spoke.

"Sorry Ita-chan but look!" Kari pointed down bellow. He watched as the thugs and everyone else faced off. Then Inari and the villagers made their appearance.

"RUN AWAY!!" The thugs ran off.

"Spineless." Itachi muttered. Kari looked up at the sky. It began to snow. They watched as Kakashi hauled Zabuza over to Haku. Kari had anime tears pour down her face as she watched then together in the snow.

"Holy shit! The brat's dead?!" Kisame asked.

"Yes." Itachi turned to Kari "We should go." Itachi said and the 3 of them left. Deidara, Naomi and Mika were in the hotel room waiting.

"What took you?!" Naomi asked beginning to fuss over Kari.

"Something caught my eye." Kari walked over to Itachi and discretely placed a box in his hand. It said 'Happy Birthday.' on it and on the inside of the ring it said 'my fire.' He smiled and slipped it on his finger. "I know it isn't for a couple of days.

"I'm sorry to say that my parcel won't be here for 2 weeks." Naomi informed.

They stayed in the hotel for 2 weeks, careful to stay out of sight of team 7. "Well I'll see if my parcel came in." Naomi called.

"I'll go with you un!" Deidara said and followed her out.

"I have to do something too. I'll be back soon kay?" Kari asked. Itachi nodded. Kari walked arund the small street and bought some incense. She then went to the direction of Sasuke's aura. They were sanding around 2 graves. She snickered quietly as Naruto tried to eat an offering and Sakura was yelling at him. Naruto reminded Kari of herself a lot. Sasuke was silent pretty much the entire time. He decided he wasn't going to tell anyone about what happened and he was still deciding on if he should believe what he dreamed in the first place. Kari adjusted herself on the branch and made some noise as her shirt got caught on a branch. Kakashi looked and smirked.

"What is it Kakashi-sensei?" Sakura asked.

"A bird." Kakashi said. They left. After Kari got herself untangled she jumped down to the graves. Stuck 2 sticks of incense in the ground and lit them then purified the site.

"Though I never knew you in life I see that you 2 were good people despite the things you did. I hope you 2 find peace in the after life." Kari gave them 2 minutes of silence then left. 'Alright…today's the 18th of June…just over 14 weeks.' She walked to the hotel where the others were and thankfully Naomi had the package.

"We'll leave for Konoha in 2 days." Itachi said. The others nodded. Kari plopped on her bed and had a nap while the others did their own thing.

END!!!

_Aaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! You would not believe on how much I wrote today! That was half the reason why I was so late, I seriously wrote a chapter and a half, the other reason was talking on MSN too much! I just luv my friends so much, especially the ones I can't see everyday. Well anyways, please review, 4 reviews until I update as usual and yes goodbye for now! _


	18. To Konoha we go!

_Well here is the next chapter! And I have some news about updating since I don't know when I'll have time for the next chapter, I'll try for every Friday, so next Friday will be when I'll post, but I'll probably only update twice in the month of April because I'll be gone most of the month on trips one of them to Ontario so yeah I'll be busy. And thankyou for reviewing! _

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"_War is a series of catastrophes that result in a victory." Georges Clemenceau._

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'**Inner Kari.'**

**Things that need emphasis**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto_

4 days later they were still in the smelly hotel room in Kirigakure, their reason for staying was lying on a bed listening to music and reading with an ice cream pain at her side. (Now going to be referred as the 'barf bucket.'). Kari retched into the bucket and Deidara rubbed her back. "There there un. Let it all out un." Deidara was the only one with her at the time. Naomi went off to see some friends, Kisame went to go see his clan and Itachi left saying he needed to get something.

"This sucks." Kari sighed. Mika rested her head on her stomach.

Deidara gave a smile "Once I was so sick even my hands were puking un."

Kari chuckled "Once Itachi's brother Sasuke was sick and we were watching Starwars Clone Wars and he puked every time he saw Anikin Skywalker."

Deidara snickered "He's not the only one un." He grabbed an ear bud and put it in his ear "Linkin Park un?"

"Yep. You like them?"

"Yes un." They remained silent for a while but in the back of Kari's mind a question wanted to be answered.

"Deidara? Why did you leave the Akatsuki to go with us? I can understand Kisame but…" Kari couldn't finish so she began to pet Mika.

"Akatsuki was starting to get boring un. I wanted a change in scenery un." Deidara answered.

"What about Sasori?"

"We're still in contact un." Deidara answered. Kari opened a gingerale. Itachi came through the door with a large bag with the 'Coles' insignia on it. He didn't say hello, just plopped himself on a chair and was reading a book called 'A men's guide to pregnancy.'

"Oi! Did you get pregnancy for dummies?" Kari asked.

"Yes. I got it just for you, it's in the bag." Itachi said while reading his book. Kari flipped him off while Deidara laughed. Kisame and Naomi came in not too much later. Kari was asleep and Deidara was watching TV and Itachi was reading his book.

"Has she improved?" Naomi asked.

"Yeah, she only puked twice while everyone was out. "Deidara answered.

"So we could leave tomorrow?" Kisame asked. Everyone was silent. An hour went by and Kari sat up though the others were unaware. Kari made her way to the bathroom when Naomi spotted her.

"You feeling better?" She asked.

"I'm fine.' Kari answered. After she was done she went beside her fiancée who was on a bed instead of his chair. She rested her head on his shoulder. He looked at her and then went back to his book. Kari pulled some knitting from the bag next to her and began to work on the blanket.

"So Kisame-kun how was the family?" Kari asked.

"Great, they were glad I killed some of the Feudal Lords. See that was the Hoshgaki clan's intentional plan." Kisame said "They threw a party and everything when I came over."

"Well that's good." Naomi said and Kari and Deidara nodded. About an hour later Itachi sent everyone to bed. The only thing that happened was that Kari began to sleepwalk and Naomi and Itachi had to coax her to go back to bed. The next morning they were out on the road and on the way to Konoha. The trip took about 4 days.

"We're just about at the gate." Itachi informed.

'June 27th today…' Kari thought.

"So how are we to get in un?" Deidara asked.

"There's a hole in the wall that leads to an alley, beside the Ichiraku, you should know the one Itachi. Me and Naomi can go through the gate and we'll meet you guys in the Uchiha district." Kari said "It's been deserted for years, Sasuke lives in an apartment." Kari and Naomi left them and made their way to the gate.

"Genma-san." Kari greeted the man.

"Kari-san." He answered back.

"Anything happen while I was away?" Kari asked.

Genma thoughtfully chewed on his senbon. "Not really, the Chuunin exams are in 3 days and all of rookie 9 including Uchiha Sasuke and Gai's team are participating in it."

"I see, but isn't that a little young?" Kari asked. **'You participated when you were 10 remember?' **'Good point.'

Genma shrugged "Who's that with you?"

"My sister Naomi, see ya later Genma." Kari and Naomi went inside Konoha.

* * *

Itachi, Deidara and Kisame were trying to find the passage but Deidara didn't make this any easier by complaining. Itachi was tapping the wall of the gate and whacking bushes with the flat end of this katana.

"Did you find it yet un?" Deidara asked for the 20th time.

"Permission to kill?" Kisame asked.

"Permission granted." Itachi said while examining a bush.

Kisame began to advance on Deidara with Samehada. "Kari-chan wouldn't want me dead un! If you kill me you'll have the wrath of an overly hormonal pregnant woman against you un!"

"I found it." Itachi said while pushing the bush aside, he crawled inside and the other 2 followed. They crawled in the tunnel and came out in the alley that Kari said they would. They peeked from behind the trashcans at the Ichiraku to see team 7 eating there. Sasuke looked in their direction and they quickly slunk back to the shadows.

"What is it Sasuke-kun?" Sakura asked.

"Nothing." He answered and went back to his noodles. Itachi, Deidara and Kisame jumped on the rooftops and went from there.

Kari and Naomi stopped in front of the Uchiha head compound. They walked in at the same time the others jumped from the roof. They walked into the house "So what now?" Kisame asked.

"We need to speak with the Hokage and some of the others, and see the Chuunin exams." Kari answered. The others agreed to the plan. Over the next 2 days they were cleaning the house and fixing it up, making it habitable for humans again.

END!

_Sorry that this chapter is a bit on the short side. But that was where I wanted to end it. well I'll update next week, and yeah…someone asked me in a review "How are they going to get in Konoha? With Kisame and Deidara no less?!" Or something like that…I hope that was a good enough answer and somewhat believable…maybe I'll put how they found that passage in a filler chapter or something…and do a Harry Potter spin off. 4 reviews before I update! Please? _

_Sakura Sama 101 signing off. _


	19. Orochimaru's appearance, reunions part 1

_Hey all, sorry for the late update but blame my dad. Hmm, well grahmsmoon asked me some interesting questions and I personally think that one reviewer equals about 20 so I'll put the more important questions and my answers now. _

_Q: The leader let them go a little too easily don't you think? After that speech about getting her kidnapped and giving up information about Akatsuki. Why did he just let them go, he isn't stupid. _

_A: Well, he has something planned for them later, and he was weeding his garden of powerful ninja, and my friend is in gangs and stuff and he talks about his adventures all the time, and he has friends in there that he considers brothers, and Itachi and Kisame have that sort of relationship, and sometimes when one gang member leaves his partner might leave as well. That and he also said that if you leave more serious gangs then you die but I chose to ignore that… and Deidara left cause I felt like it. _

_Q: Did Genma notice that Kari was pregnant? And how come no one's asking her any questions especially since she's been gone so long, does the whole village think so poorly of her or did I miss something?_

_A: Genma and Kari don't know eachother that well, more or less they are acquaintances and have only spoken a few times. and as for the happy reunions I haven't gotten that far, all her friends are busy with the chuunin exams and don't realize she's there or are too busy to come. Lol oh and Genma did notice but he didn't say anything. _

_Well that's all for now…_

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"_Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt." William Shakespeare_

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_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto_

**'Inner Kari'**

**things that need emphasis**

_writing and handseals_

**Jutsu names**

Itachi woke up on July 1st the clock read 12:00. He carefully got up, careful not to disturb Kari who was over on the other side. He got dressed, scribbled a note and left. He had a date with the forest of death. 'I have a bad feeling.' He made it and easily slipped by Anko and stealthily jumped from tree to tree in the forest. He finally reached his brother and his team and perched on a branch and watched.

Naruto made his grand appearance "Uh, so what was the password again?"

"Forget it, I know it's you." Sakura answered.

* * *

Kari stretched and sat up. 'To think that this was once Mikoto and Fugaku san's room.' Kari saw a piece of paper fluttering on the nightstand and picked it up _"Gone on business, don't wait up, be back soon."_ She groggily read. She turned over and fell back asleep.

* * *

"You can have it." Sasuke said pulling out the heaven scroll.

"Huh?" Sakura and Naruto asked.

"The scroll right? That's what you want? Alright then take it and leave us in peace." Sasuke added ignoring the other two.

'Foolish Sasuke, he's not after the scroll. It's you he's after.' Itachi thought. Sasuke was throwing the scroll to Orochimaru.

"Take it." Luckily Naruto intervened and grabbed it before it reached Orochimaru's hand. Even Itachi cringed as Naruto landed a nasty punch to Sasuke's head that caused him to fly a little way but Sasuke recovered and landed another branch. Itachi continued to watch them argue. He had half a mind to go down there and knock them both out and kill Orochimaru.

'Why the hell didn't I do that already?' He asked himself. He got ready to intervene as Orochimaru cast a summoning jutsu. He jumped from his perch as the snake smashed the tree he was in with his tail.

"Finish him off." Orochimaru commanded. They all watched as Naruto fell then changed into Kyuubi Naruto. He watched as he pummelled the snake then got thrown back.

"Lets see how you do Sasuke!" Orochimaru called as the snake shot forward. Itachi pulled out a katana and slashed the snake across the face as Naruto jabbed it with 2 kunai. The snake froze.

Sasuke jumped as he saw his brother for a brief flicker. Itachi never heard what Naruto said or saw what happened as he was trying to find a place to perch. When he did Naruto was wrapped around Orochimaru's tongue and Orochimaru was getting ready to do the 5-pronged seal, Itachi threw a kunai at Orochimaru's hand and Orochimaru moved his hand but it still brushed Naruto's stomach. Orochimaru then threw Naruto aside and he began to fall

* * *

Kari was now getting worried; Itachi had been gone for hour. The clock now read 5:30 and the note read _'I'll_ _be back soon.' _Kari sighed, "Guys, I'm going out!" she called and stepped out. People waved to her or stopped to chat with her, most of them inquired about her tummy that was now a fair sized baby bump, and where she had been, which she answered that she was at the war with the hidden light village. Finally she got to her destination, Konoha hospital. After half an hour Kari got an appointment for an ultra sound. 'I better go see old man Hokage.' Kari made her way to the Hokage tower. She found the old man putting away papers in his office. Kari bowed as low as she could "Hokage-sama."

"Kari-san." He nodded back.

Kari nervously twirled a strand of her hair "Hokage-sama, if you can, after you're done with the chuunin exams, in 3 days time would you come over to the Uchiha head compound? Bring as many shinobi as you like, the more the merrier. I need to discuss some things that are very important."

The Hokage smiled "And I suppose you aren't going to tell me anything until then, including how you got pregnant." Kari shook her head "I have nothing planned, just giving the participants of the Chuunin exams 1 month to prepare for the finals. I am sure you have gathered a lot of information on your travels. I will go along with my most trusted shinobi." He walked past her and out the office door.

* * *

Sakura, with some quick thinking threw a kunai so it'd pin Naruto to a tree and keep him from falling into a painful death. "Sasuke. Don't start with saying that Naruto's a pest and in the way! At least he's doing something!"

'Bit rich coming from you. I don't see you risking your pink ass to save everyone.' Itachi grimly thought.

(AN: I don't completely hate Sakura, but I usually never see her help the others when they're fighting, she just watches with her thumb up her ass and I just hate people like that. I've done it but only when things are under control. But I like it when she sticks up for herself and helps out. Just thought I'd get that rectified.)

Orochimaru turned to them and started talking, Itachi couldn't quite hear what but the snake was either gone or dead.

'All I cared about was surviving in order to defeat my brother. What a fool I've been! I can see the truth now and that they were right. Aniki forgive me.' Sasuke thought. Sasuke then ran and began to fight Orochimaru. Even though all of Sasuke's attacks were made with lightning speed and precision Orochimaru blocked them with the same quick reflexes. Sasuke let out a fireball. Itachi was impressed with is brother's skills though things were slowly turning to Orochimaru's favour. A fist collided with Sasuke's face and he was sent to the ground.

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura yelled. Itachi was frustrated that she didn't do anything to help.

'Is she injured? I highly doubt it.' Itachi thought.

"What a disappointment you turned out to be. Your ancestors weep, the Uchiha clan should thank me for killing you along with the rest of them silly worm." Orochimaru drawled. Sasuke's anger flared and explosive tags he set on Orochimaru's back exploded. Then Sasuke wound wires around Orochimaru and moved them in such a way so that it would tie him to the trunk of the tree they were in.

_serpent, dragon, hare, tiger_

**Katon: Ryuuka no jutsu **(Fire style: Dragon flame technique.)

Orochimaru's anguished screams pierced the forest. 'He's still alive.' Itachi surmised. Both Sasuke and Sakura froze as the melting Orochimaru stood up. Itachi drew his katana and ran towards them. Orochimaru's neck stretched out and Itachi's nightmare became reality. 'That son of a bitch!' He poured more chakra into his feet. He blocked Orochimaru's head with his sword as he shoved them out of the way. Itachi thrust Orochimaru's head out of the way with a forceful push of his sword, then swiped at his head which would have decapitated him had he not summoned his head back to his body. Itachi was glad to see fear in his eyes.

"Uchiha Itachi what a surprise." Orochimaru spoke.

"Shut up. I'm not letting you have the only family I have left." Itachi answered.

"Aniki, I'm sorry about-" Sasuke began.

"That doesn't matter now. You and the girl go somewhere high and out of the way."

Orochimaru smirked. "I know you want to kill me but I have things to do before our final battle, I'll be back for you Sasuke." Orochimaru then disappeared into the branch.

"That was-" Sasuke began. Itachi nodded.

"Kari's here as well, when we get everything in order we're going to the finals. Now that you know about Orochimaru don't be alone and watch for the sound ninja." Itachi disappeared.

"Sasuke-kun? You called that man 'Aniki' but don't you want to kill your older brother?" Sakura asked.

"There was a misunderstanding as you heard." Sasuke said and turned away.

"OI!!! WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING PINNED TO A TREE?! SASUKE-TEME!! SAKURA-CHAN! LET ME DOWN!!" Naruto yelled.

* * *

Kari sighed 'God that kid's loud.' Then she had laughing fit.

"Why the hell are you laughing like a retard un?" Deidara walked in. Kari was watching Rush hour 2.

"Imagine Itachi as Jackie Chan and Kisame as Chris Tucker." Kari answered. Deidara sat next to her.

"I could see Kisame doing that un." When they were at the Karaoke bar and Chris is singing.

"Hah ha." Kisame said sarcastically sitting beside the dog. Naomi came back from the market and sat down beside them. Itachi came in not long afterwards.

"Where'd you go?" Kari asked not looking away from the TV.

"To the woods." Itachi answered.

'Well a lot of good that does me, we're surrounded by forests and there are bits of forests in the village.' Kari sighed.

Itachi came over "Did you get the appointment?" He emotionlessly asked.

"Yes…it's the day after tomorrow." Kari sighed, but went back to happy and watched the movie and not soon after she fell asleep.

"She's been sleeping all day." Naomi said. Itachi carried her to the room.

END 

_So that ends the chapter, I think this is a little bit longer than the last one but yeah, I think it's the filler chapter next, and I'm not sure when I'll get it up probably next week. Next Friday is what I'm aiming for. Well that's it, and any weirdness and stuff that doesn't make sense, blame either on lack of sleep or that the explanation is coming later. _


	20. filler chapter 4

_Hey everyone, thank you for all the reviews as always and it's good to hear from everyone too, old and new supporters and such and I really can't do nothing else other than give you this very special filler chapter, and maybe just maybe it might light up a few grey areas. I also hope I did good in the fight scenes…I don't know if I'm good at them yet, I think I'm not bad…I hope that you can enjoy them. _

**Things that need emphasis. **

'**Inner Kari.' **

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. _

Uchiha Massacre.

In the middle of the woods surrounding Konoha a fierce battle was brewing. Itachi's ANBU black ops team was fighting 10 sound shinobi. In the middle of this heated battle a large group of Konoha nins came.

"We were ordered to help." The leader told Itachi, he nodded. Kari began to heal up the wounded black ops while the others fight. When the Konoha shinobi were gaining the upper hand a dozen more sound ninja came.

The head sound nin scanned the battle field, "There's our target, the one Orochimaru-sama wants." He headed into the battlefield. Some ninja were retreating and Itachi ran after them for there were to be no survivors. Once they were in a clearing, one of the shinobi ripped the skin off his face.

"Missing nin Orochimaru." Itachi stated.

"Uchiha Itachi." Orochimaru answered. Itachi and Orochimaru came at eachother, ringing metal sang through the clearing as their blades clashed.

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Kari glanced around the battlefield; there was no sign of Itachi anywhere. She could hear metal clanging in the distance so she went to check it out, as everyone was healed and holding their own fairly well.

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Orochimaru made a move to pierce Itachi's stomach, which Itachi successfully parried and countered by slashing Orochimaru's chest. In a rage Orochimaru summoned chakra to his sword and swung a devastating blow that broke Itachi's katana and sliced open his cheek, the blow also had enough force to knock him over on his back. Orochimaru stood over him.

"Now I will acquire the one tool I need to reach my goal…the Sharingan!" and he began to do hand seals. Itachi was temporarily winded and couldn't move. Kari jumped into the clearing and socked Orochimaru one to the face. "Men!" Orochimaru called sharply. A hooded and cloaked man came to the clearing and attacked Kari from behind and quickly stabbed her with a syringe. Kari gasped out and fell to the ground and began to writhe around in agony.

"KARI!!" Itachi yelled.

"Yes, we know much about your friend. That's she's one of the most talented medics to ever come out of Konoha but particularly her ablilities to heal and purify poisons. We gave her a special injection full of various poisons and chemicals that inhibit those abilities, then the poisons finish her off." Orochimaru explained

Suddenly the Konoha shinobi poofed to the scene. "What the hell happened here?!"

"Until next time…" They disappeared. Itachi went to Kari on the ground, she stopped writhing but her breathing was shallow and ragged, beads of sweat dotted her brow. Itachi put a hand on her head and she was burning up. He gently picked her up.

"She needs medical attention." And without another word he took off. He ran non-stop into Konoha, through the streets and into the hospital, occasionally she would groan and pant. "I need help!!" Itachi began to panic. A nurse came and did the normal questions and soon Kari was in a bed with a ventilator, an IV taking out blood and other hospital equipment hooked up.

Itachi couldn't help but notice how helpless she looked, and that if Kari could see herself now she'd rather die, a nurse stepped in "We're doing all that we can." She took out the needle that was taking away her blood and put in another IV with blood "All we can hope for is that this agent we put in this blood neutralizes the poison. But, we need to consider the worst. Bring her closest friends and family, I don't think she'll live through the night…I'm sorry.' The nurse left and Itachi did as she asked, but not before relaying what happened to the Hokage including what happened with Orochimaru He came home crying, which caused an uproar for Itachi never cried, at least not in front of them. He told them everything that happened ad soon they were on their way to the hospital and were net by Kioshi, Hinata, Kurenai and Enoki.

"We heard what happened." Enoki said. And soon they were in the hospital watching her. Sasuke and Hinata cried immediately for their friend. Kurenai and Mikoto felt their eyes well up in spite of themselves. Natsuko opened the door, she became a medic just recently after passing her chuunin exams around 2 months ago. She walked over to Kari while dragging some more equipment, she gently put a tube in Kari's mouth and gently eased it down her throat. "We ran some tests on her blood and identified some of the poisons that were injected in her, some of the things that help them have to be taken orally and we have to keep her hydrated anyway." She put tubes in her nose that gave her oxygen. "Kioshi-san could you look her over with your Byakugan?"

Kioshi did so "Almost all of her internal organs have been damaged except her brain. Her liver and kidneys are the most damaged, her heart and lungs and circulatory system also have moderate damage.

"Yes, I feared as much." The head nurse was at the door. "Natsuko, could you take the little ones outside for a moment?" Natsuko took Hinata and Sasuke out of the room. She sighed, "We have taken out more than half of her original blood, and found out some of the major components of the injection, we got the poison levels to drop and now they are stable." She went to Kari and mopped up her brow.

"Will she…die?" Kurenai choked out.

"If anything the high fever that she has will kill her. The chances of her dying in the next couple of days are very high. And unless we can get her chakra to start healing her body then it'll be a certainty. Her body rejects ours, I'll demonstrate." The nurse held up a glowing green hand to her stomach and a force pushed her hand up. She then took a red pill and gently put it in Kari's mouth and down her throat. Some colour returned to her face.

"Blood pill." Itachi muttered.

"That should help. I'll be back in an hour." The nurse left and came back an hour later informing them that visiting hours were over and promised to inform them in anything would happen.

In the morning Itachi left without a word to Kari's room. Shisui was already there and had a kunai over Kari. He was about to strike when Itachi entered the room. Shisui quickly put it in his shirt.

"Ohayo Shisui." Itachi greeted.

"Ohayo Itachi." Shisui answered. He began to head for the door "I've watched her for most of the morning, I'll see you later." Shisui left. Itachi pulled a chair over. Her face had more colour to it but there were also strange markings, black and red, her breathing was even and not in gasps.

Natsuko walked in "Oh hey Itachi-kun. She's gotten better over the night. The marks also appeared overnight. It could be internal bleeding or the poison in her skin. We're now going to find out." Natsuko and a nurse who was also a Hyuga began to run tests.

"It's not blood…it's chakra…" The Hyuga informed.

"But how?" Natsuko asked.

"The poison is starting to eat away her chakra paths. No, don't do anything!" She said reading Natsuko's thoughts "The chakra is slowly starting to heal her body. Did you notice her fever's gone away too quickly?"

The others shook their heads. "Will, we're just going to finish up here and we'll leave." The did and left. Itachi stayed for an hour and Sasuke came in.

"Hey nii-san." Sasuke greeted.

"Hey Sasuke." Itachi nodded.

Sasuke sat looking at Kari and twiddled his fingers "Nii-san, can you help me train?" Itachi looked around and then nodded, she was getting better now.

While training Sasuke got a little carried away and scratched his arm. They stopped by the hospital on the way home.

A nurse took them aside "It's Kari, she's gone into shock. There are to be no visitors until we get things back to normal."

"How did it happen?" Itachi coldly asked.

"They let out too much chakra and her body couldn't handle it."

Itachi left the hospital silently fuming. Sasuke looked at his arm that was fully healed "Those medics are cool!"

"Hn." Itachi nodded. They soon entered home and no sooner did Itachi take his shoes off did a ninja appear in the porch.

"The Hokage wishes to speak with you." He said before disappearing.

"I'll be back soon Sasuke." Itachi said. His brother nodded.

"Kay, be back soon!" Sasuke called and Itachi disappeared. Itachi re-appeared in the Hokage's office.

"Good of you to come, now down to business, I need you to do an S-rank mission for me, that is to go undercover and see what Orochimaru is up to and report everything to me, someone else can take over at evenings, this will only be for around 2 weeks until Hatake Kakashi gets back from his mission. You start tomorrow, don't forget that this is top secret. You may go now."

Itachi disappeared and reappeared back at the house. "Just in time for dinner." Mikoto smiled as she set out plates. But that night wasn't as great.

"What!? What do you mean you're not going to the meeting tomorrow?! You don't understand your position!"

Sasuke groggily opened his eyes and used what he learned from Kari to get to the room "I have a mission tomorrow." Itachi answered coolly. Sasuke silently opened the door a crack to hear better.

"What mission?" Fugaku asked.

"I can't tell you that, it's top secret."

"Itachi, you're the backbone that connects this family to the village, you understand that right?"

"Yeah."

"You better take that to heart. I know that you're feeling stressed from the missions and what happened to Kari, but tomorrow is very important and you're necessary to the meting tomorrow." Fugaku answered.

"Sasuke hurry and use the toilet then go back to bed." Itachi answered.

"Ok…" Sasuke muttered 'Damn!'

"What're you doing at this hour?! Hurry up and go to bed!" Fugaku ordered.

* * *

The enxt day after Itachi got back, him and Sasuke were sitting on the vendetta. They talked about their concerns and Sasuke opened up about how their dad onlythinks about Itachi. It was one of the few moments where the brothers bonded but that moment was ruined when a voice called out

"Is Itachi here?! we need to talk! Come out!"

Itachi came out to see them "What is it? With all of you here together?"

The long haired Uchiha spoke "There were 2 people who weren't at the meeting yesterday. Why didn't you come? I understand that, as an ANBU you have to be involved in many troublesome tasks, and that a friend has been critically injured. Your father says that, and somehow covers for you.

"But we do not plan to treat you specially." The older one with white hair spoke.

"I understand, I will be careful from now on. Please leave now." Itachi answered.

"Sure thing but there's something we wanted to ask you as well. It's about Shisui who committed suicide by drowning in the river last night. He was the other one who wasn't at the meeting."

Itachi was shocked by that information "W-What?!"

"The other man that didn't arrive last night was Shisui."

Itachi was trembling slightly with shock. "ANBU Internal Investigation has already cleaned up the mess and closed the case but the police force have decided to investigate this incident fully."

'Why would they want to do an investigation?' Itachi thought.

White hair pulled out a note and handed it to Itachi "This is Shisui's suicide note, it's definitely his writing but for those who have the sharingan it's easy enough to forge another's writing."

"He was known as Shisui of the Mirage and one of the most talented Uchiha next to you, and I doubt a man like him would leave something like this behind and die." Long hair spoke.

Itachi stopped and got back to rational thinking 'He could've been murdered.'

"I'm going to leave that with you. Take that to ANBU and get them to re-open the case for more detailed investigation." Long hair added. Itachi nodded.

The shorter haired Uchiha added "We the MPC have other connections to the ANBU as well, if you do anything to interfere with the investigation or try to hid anything, we will find out."

"I hope there will be evidence." The white haired Uchiha added.

Itachi froze. Sasuke noticed this and became scared as Itachi crumpled the note in his hands. Itachi spoke in a voice that made shivers go up Sasuke's spine. "Why don't you be more direct?" the 3 Uchihas stopped at the gate. Their heads slowly turned to Itachi, their Sharingan activated. Itachi glared back with his sharingan as well. "You suspect me?" Sasuke hid himself behind the shoji door with only his head peaking out.

Long hair glared "Yes we do, you piece of shit."

"Listen Itachi if you betray the clan you won't go unpunished." Before they could comprehend it Itachi moved with a great burst of speed. The 3 saw him coming but their bodies could not match in speed. A haymaker hit long hair and it was followed up by a roundhouse kick. He then turned and gave a powerful kick to the side and a left hook to white hair's face, he finished off short hair by kicking him in the stomach then kicking him again so he was down on the ground.

'Itachi-nii is so strong…I've never seen him act like this.' Sasuke thought worried. Itachi stood silent over them all.

"Shisui was told to keep an eye on you…" one of them began.

"And if you think I killed him you're dead wrong and have no right to accuse me of such unfounded. I'd kill myself before I would think of killing my best friend, my brother, my family or anyone else I care about." He paused.

"Stop Itachi!" Fugaku called. Itachi looked in his direction "What in the hells' going on here?!"

Itachi's eyes softened but he didn't say anything.

"I informed the others during the meting but these 3 obviously didn't listen."

Itachi turned away to go inside "That is all they need to know. Tell your men to back off or I will kill them."

"What arrogance!" Long hair shouted

A kunai cut through the air and narrowly missed long hair's head by a hair before embedding itself right in the middle of an Uchiha fan. The move was not only a taunt but also how he felt deep inside.

"I've lost all hope for this pathetic clan." He muttered and turned away.

"Enough of this! If you continue this nonsense we will arrest you."

"Captain please order an arrest!" White haired called.

Itachi's eyes narrowed, Sasuke noticed his body preparing to attack "BROTHER PLEASE STOP!!"

Itachi froze as he realized what he was doing. He closed his eyes and took a breath, and dropped to his knees and bowed.

The 4 MPCs looked at him in shock.

"I did not kill Shisui and for the words I said, I apologise."

Fugaku looked at his son, for he had never seen Itachi down on his knees and apologise by his own will. "Lately…he's been busy with missions from the ANBU and his medic, who is very dear to us is close to death, he is stressed and worn out…"

"Captain!" Long hair protested. And when he got no answer "…understood sir." They left and Fugaku walked back to the house.

"Go get your brother and bring him inside. We'll go to the hospital in an hour." Fugaku went in the house.

Sasuke nodded and ran to Itachi "Itachi-niichan…Outo-san said to come-"

"I'm sorry Outoto." Itachi mumbled.

Sasuke shook his head "it's fine."

"No it's not."

* * *

Kari opened her eyes and looked around the bleary hospital room. She tried sitting up but the pain that suddenly erupted in her abdomen kept her down.

"You're awake!" Kurenai shouted.

"What happened? I feel like I got hit by a train…"

"You look like you got hit by a train."

Kari said nothing, the last couple of days were muddled but a guy that looked like he was related to medusa flickered in and out of her mind. "How long was I out?"

"Around 4 days."

Natsuko entered "Good you're awake!" She had a tray of food and set up the bed tray. Kari began to eat.

"How long do I have to say here?" Kari asked.

"At least a week to heal, and after that you have to stay another two weeks to watch your progress to make sure that there's nothing left behind in there."

Kari sighed 'I hate life.' The Uchihas came in and it was a joyous meeting and they stayed until visiting hours were over.

Over the next two weeks Kari got better and was able to move about the hospital. Most of the internal injuries were healed but she couldn't leave the hospital. Sasuke was happy that he learned the 'Grand fireball technique.' And went to tell Kari about it.

"I'm happy for you Sasuke-kun!" Kari said smiling. **'I've got a bad feeling…' **'Me too…'

After a little while Sasuke left the hospital

* * *

Itachi was hidden in the cover of the dense underbrush looking for some sign of Orochimaru. He did see a strangely familiar but suspicious shinobi and decided to tail him. He followed the shinobi until he stopped into a clearing in the woods.

A sound nin came to his side and he raised a hand. "I know that you are following me Uchiha Itachi." He called as he lifted up his hood.

'It…it couldn't be!' Itachi thought, he jumped down to the clearing. "Shisui-kun! How? I thought you were dead! Why are you with that oto-nin?!"

Shisui gave a bitter, mirthless laugh, "I faked my own death, to spare myself from the horrible fate that awaits the Uchiha. That, and I found a new leader that can give me more power than the Uchiha ever will."

"Orochimaru." Itachi stated, pain and anger evident in his voice.

"Correct."

"Shisui-san, Orochimaru-sama has already begun." And with that the oto-nin disappeared.

"Good." Shisui said as he drew a katana "After today, the Uchiha Clan will cease to exist, Orochimaru sama will see to that."

Itachi drew his own sword. "I never thought I would have to kill my dearest friend with my own hands, I don't want to kill you but if you come at me, I will kill that friendship as well as take your life."

"I wouldn't want it anyother way." Shisui charged. Shisui made to decapitate him but Itachi ducked and parried and made a move to counter attack but that was also blocked. After a few minutes of this Itachi knew this was going nowhere. He jumped back into a tree and began to calmly assess his next plan of action, despite the fear he felt. He had never been more fearful for himself or his family then he was now. 'Please…please kami-sama let them be ok.' Then he lunged but that too was blocked. Shisui caught Itachi's arm in an attempt to stab him through the hart and as he pulled his sword out Itachi stabbed his own through his stomach until the sword came out his back. Shisui fell to his knees and coughed up blood, some of which hit Itachi.

"See you in hell." He coughed out. Itachi began to cry as he pulled his sword out and gripped his katana and hacked Shisui's head off his neck. He hid the body near a den of bears and ran as fast as he could home.

* * *

Sasuke entered the Uchiha district and was shocked to see all the lights off, 'No lights…It's not so late that people would be sleeping.' Sasuke turned the corner and saw the street was trashed, lanterns were torn and blood splashed the streets. "W-What is this?" He turned another corner and he saw his aunt and uncle's bodies dead on the ground. "Uncle…Auntie…" Renewed panic entered Sasuke "Mom…Dad!" Sasuke ran as fast as he could to his house, he opened the door. "Dad? Mom?" he walked into the house and froze in front of the dojo doors. 'There's someone in there…' Sasuke began to pant as fear overcame him and he was fighting every impulse to run away and go cry in a corner. 'Move!' He screamed in his head over and over until he got the doors open "Dad! Mom!"

* * *

Kari sat up on her bed. She then stepped out of her room 'I have a bad feeling…I need to get out of here!'

* * *

Sasuke shakily took some steps back when the person stepped out of the shadows 'No! No! it couldn't be!!'

Orochimaru though he was disguised as Itachi used a forbidden jutsu that allowed him to perform any jutsu at the cost of a part of his life. He put Sasuke through Tsukuyomi "Mangyekou Sharingan!"

'Why!?' Sasuke thought as he got up 'I need to get away!' and he ran out of the house sobbing. He ran until he saw Itachi in front of him "Don't kill me!!"

* * *

The real Itachi ran into the Uchiha neighbourhood and knew he was too late. Sasuke ran around the corner across from him and he looked to where Sasuke was facing and saw his double, he ran to save Sasuke but his double disappeared but not after giving a feral grin. Sasuke crumpled to the ground and began to cry.

'That bastard! He posed as me knowing there was nothing I could do! I need to get out of here!' Itachi then disappeared but not before whispering "Goodbye Sasuke…I will get our revenge…I swear it." He went back to his house and grabbed all the possessions he had and left. 'Kari…Sasuke…I'm sorry.'

* * *

Kari walked over to Sasuke and pulled him into an embrace. He told her everything that happened and they cried for a long time. They weren't sure how long they were crying for but they sat like that, crying and finding comfort in eachother.

"Sasuke-kun…we have to start getting everyone out of the house. And report to the Hokage what happened." Kari began to carry Sasuke to the hospital but not before Kakashi appeared in front of them.

"What in kami's name happened here?!" He asked. Kari relayed all that Sasuke told her "I'll report this to the Hokage right away." He disappeared. Kari walked back to the Uchiha house to bit a final farewell to Mikoto and Fugaku. Tears began to well up in spite of herself. She placed the half awake Sasuke beside her and he immediately ran to his parents as Kari walked over as well. Sasuke had his mother's dead arms around him and was beside his father's corpse crying. Soon after Sasuke fell asleep. Kari lifted Sasuke's body up. She then grasped Mikoto's cold hand.

"Mikoto…you were a mother to me. You took me in when my aunt died and you've taught me many things. For you I had nothing but respect. And I can't thank you enough. I never thought I'd have to say goodbye to you like this. I'll take care of Sasuke and protect him with my life." She adjusted Sasuke in her arms.

"And you Fugaku were somewhat like a dad, you helped me to get where I was today and helped improve my skills and taught me Katon. Even though you were distant we had a good understanding, I swear I will avenge your deaths."

"Come on Kari kun, it's getting late." Enoki said appearing beside her. "The Hokage got an apartment room for you and Sasuke to stay in." Enoki took them to the apartment room.

"Where are we going Kari-kun?" Sasuke asked as he woke up.

"Our new home." Kari answered with a smile. "You're covered in blood Sasuke-kun, time for a bath kay?" Sasuke nodded. She got the water running and helped Sasuke. After she dressed him in PJs and made him some hot chocolate the Hokage and an escort appeared in front of them.

"So what will your plans of action be, I can understand if you want to take a couple of months off especially since what happened."

Kari sighed, "As soon as Sasuke kun starts school again, I'll start doing missions."

"Understood, I have been told that you left the hospital that you left the hospital but were not cleared to leave correct?"

"Yes Hokage-sama."

"I brought a medic to look you over to see if we have to take you back."

The medic examined Kari "She's almost back to normal, everything is almost completely healed." Kari put a chakra covered hand and rubbed it along her skin "Now its completely healed and there's also no sign of poison.

"Good good, shinobi have been ordered to take your stuff back from the house, I'll leave you now, report to me when you'll start doing missions." They left.

Kari and sasuke sat at the table for most of the night until Sasuke fell asleep. Kari put Sasuke into his bed and she sat down in the living room.

'Why? How? Why would Itachi kill everyone?' **'He was acting a little strange before it happened.' **'True…but I just can't believe it.' **'I know. You'd like to know both sides but we don't have that luxury.' **'I'll assume he did it until I hear otherwise.' She sighed as she went to bed.

* * *

Itachi ran as far as he could away from Konoha and didn't stop until it was daybreak. He collapsed in a clearing and began to cry silently. And he stayed like that crying for a while.

A voice broke him from his grieving "Hey what are you doing on the ground?"

Itachi looked up and that ends our sad little tale…

_END! _

_Well I hope you really enjoyed this, and that it kinda filled in a few blanks. Well here's the bad news…I'll be gone for 6 days at a friend's house and in the city, and I'll only have 2 days to recuperate before I have to go for a week in Ontario, and here's the scoop! If I get more than 4 reviews and find my reviews jump substantially when I get back from my friend's house then I will and on scouts honour post the next chapter in those two free days! Well that'll give you something to think about…and goodbye for now! _

_Sakura Sama 101_


	21. Enter Satori, reunions part 2

_YO! Thank ya so much for all the reviews! And getting away for a few days is just what I needed! And yah I definitely can't thank ya enough for the reviews and all the things that were said! So here's the chapter! (Oh, if you're wondering why I replied to reviews so fast was because my friend let me use his computer lol, but I wanted to update at home and I was having too much fun to care about updating at that time.) _

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"_There are several good protections against temptations but the surest is cowardice." Mark Twain_

* * *

**'Inner Kari'**

**Things that need emphasis**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto_

Kari was up and about and felt her breasts tingling 'Someone's at the door!' **'And how does that add up?' **'I dunno, I just want to be psychic.' Kari opened the door to see a man about Kisame's age look back at her. He was a good 6 feet, and lean and muscular. His hair was a greyish blue and his eyes, though like the Hyugas had a visible iris so it looked like he had cataracts. **'Oh god; your boobs can tell when someone's at the door, we could get big bucks for this!' **

Naomi peeked around the corner "Oh good, did you find the place alright Satori?"

"Yes, and I'd like to come in if Kari no baka would move." He answered.

Kari flared up but then gasped and hugged him "Satori-nii?" she saw the scar on his hand from them playing with fire crackers when they were small.

"Hai." He let her go and gave her a look "Who did this to you?" He coldly asked. Kari looked at Naomi.

"You didn't tell him?" Kari asked. Naomi shook her head "I'm engaged." She said as she moved out of the way. Satori stepped inside and shut the door.

"So you got engaged because you're pregnant, where is he?!" Satori boomed. (Don't you hate people like that?)

"Right here." Itachi said beside Kari.

Kari sighed, "We were engaged before it happened." Kari deadpanned. 'Here we go…' Kari thought. Naomi also scented danger for she quickly said

"How about some coffee?" They all followed her to the kitchen and refreshments were given. Deidara bounded in the room, his hair wasn't in its high ponytail and looked like he just woke up. He had pink pajamas with white fluffy bunnies and rabbit slippers. Kisame was already in the kitchen.

"Hey are you blind un?" Deidara asked Satori.

"No." Satori stiffly said back. It was silent for a while then Satori decided to break it. "Our parents are coming over to visit later Kari, just thought you should know, in case you don't want to see them."

"It's alright." Kari said, "I have an appointment today anyway." He nodded. It was silent and everyone went off to do their own little thing. A little while later Kari slipped on her traveling cloak, Itachi was behind her. Satori came up to them.

"I'll come with you." He said slipping on his ninja shoes. Itachi kept to the shadows a few meters behind them. They walked up to the hospital. They walked in and a nurse they came up to took them to the doctor's office. He came in not too soon after and explained the procedures of a sonogram. Kari then flipped up her shirt so that her stomach showed and the doctor began to smear the gel on it then began to move the device on her stomach.

"Doc, can you move the screen so it's facing the window?" Kari asked for she saw Itachi not moments before. The doctor gave Satori an inquiring look and Satori nodded. The doctor turned the machine toward the window.

"So are you the father?" The doctor asked Satori.

"Uncle." Satori answered.

"Well, you can see them now." The doctor informed.

"Wow." Kari said. Satori smiled.

Meanwhile Itachi was hanging upside down from a tree branch. 'The sooner I can talk to the Hokage the better.' He thought.

After being finished at the hospital Kari and Satori were walking down a street "Satori-nii I need to go visit someone, is it alright if you go home and tell everyone. I'm going to see a friend, don't worry, I'll be fine." Kari requested.

"Fine, but Itachi better stay with you." Satori said before he disappeared in a cloud of ninja smoke. Kari walked to the alley where Itachi was.

"I want to see Kioshi-kun, I haven't seen him for a while and the last couple of missions really screwed up my chakra paths, I can't use my chakra as effectively." Kari sighed. Itachi nodded.

"I'm heading back then." He disappeared. Kari then made her way to the Hyuga manor, as he was probably there. She learned from a servant that Kioshi left to guard the Hokage while he was at the exams. Kari sighed for what seemed like the millionth time that day. She walked to the forest of death then quickly made her way to the arena. Unfortunately she had no idea where the battle was and wandered the halls. Suddenly a door shot open and medics carrying a stretcher ran out. When they passed Kari saw who was on the stretcher.

"Hinata!" Kari cried.

"Kari-sama! Thank the heavens you're back! Your skill is needed here! She's gone into cardiac arrest!" one of the medics answered. Kari's hand glowed with chakra and she began to heal all of Hinata's wounds. Kari began to suddenly feel light headed and stopped and paused to look her over. Her breathing was normal and she appeared fine again.

"This is the best I could do, I can't heal her chakra paths as I can't see them and may injure them further, but I healed the internal damage including that nasty blow to the chest." Kari answered, Hinata was now asleep "Who did this to her?"

"Hyuga Neji." A medic said and understanding came.

"She should be ok until someone else can properly examine her." Kari said and the medics carried her away. She rested a little bit and heard the sounds of battle erupt from the room nextdoor. She opened the door to a gruesome scene. There was a crowd in the middle of blood and sand. Kari walked over to them 'Whoa, he's a mess…'

Sasuke was speechless 'K-Kari?!"

Kakashi smirked under his mask 'I was right.'

Kari found herself in a **very** youthful embrace "Kari-san, you must help Lee!" Kari awkwardly patted Gai on the back and he let her go. She healed his broken bones and some of the muscle tissue in his arms and legs so that Lee was ½ healed.

"There. That's all I can do for now." Kari said as they put Lee on a stretcher 'Sleep in peace.' Kari then went up the railing and was pulled into a sisterly embrace by Kurenai, then Kurenai gasped and pushed Kari back to look her over.

"You're…" Kurenai began. Kari nodded and Kurenai pulled her into another hug.

"Kurenai-chan…I can't breathe…" Kari gasped out. Kurenai let go. .

"Sorry." Kurenai said.

"Don't worry, Hinata's gonna be fine." Kari said before turning to Kakashi and the others "Yo."

"Yo." Kakashi answered. Sakura smiled and Naruto looked confused and Sasuke played it cool though he went over to her side.

"Kakashi-san, Sasuke-kun, will you come to the Uchiha head family compound tonight to discuss some things? It's alright Sasuke if you don't want to."

"I'll come." Sasuke answered. He looked behind Kari "Kioshi-san."

"Sasuke-san." Kioshi answered "Kari-chan."

"Kioshi-kun, it's been a while and I'm sorry for asking a favour so early but could you check me chakra points?"

"Sure." He activated his Byakugan and Kari realized how dumb that was and prayed he didn't see. Unfortunately luck wasn't on her side for she saw shock was written on his face, but he poked some places on her skin and she felt way more energized. Kioshi didn't say anything and Kari was glad for it.

"Hey! I know you! You taught me what ramen is!" Naruto yelled. Sasuke gave her a look as if to say 'It was you!?'

"Nice to see you too Naruto." Kari sighed. The last battle was over, "I better go…I was supposed to be back at least an hour ago."

"I'll go with you." Kioshi said.

"Me too." Sasuke added. Farewells were said and the 3 left the arena after the Hokage gave the lowdown for the final rounds and the first round's combatants were selected. They were now walking out of the forest of death. "I have to go to my apartment to get my things." And Sasuke left.

"Who did it to you?" Kioshi asked coldly.

'God they make it sound like it was a bad thing…' Kari glumly thought. **'Uh…put yourself in their shoes, for starters someone they didn't see in a long time comes back pregnant, the first thing that comes to mind is probably rape.' **'Good point.' **'That and they luv ya very much and worry about you…' **'You scare me…go back to your corner….' Kioshi was looking at her weird and Kari broke out of it. "Someone I love…you'll meet him later." Kari answered. Sasuke came out soon after that. They walked to the Uchiha district and were at the gate of the head family compound. Kari knocked on the door and like always Naomi answered it.

"Come in Kari, I didn't know you would be bringing company." Naomi stepped aside.

"There's more coming." Kari said as she and the others stepped inside.

"I'm gonna go make snacks! Why didn't you tell me this earlier?!" Naomi cried as she ran to the kitchen.

"That was Naomi, my sister." Kari informed. The 2 boys remained silent and followed her to the kitchen. Deidara was there having a coffee. Kioshi froze.

"Missing-nin Deidara! Kari what is he doing here?!"

"We will have her tell her tale, once we get settled in." The Hokage, Kakashi, Asuma, Kurenai, Gai and some other ninja stepped into the kitchen.

"Hokage-sama." Kari and Kioshi bowed. Itachi and Kisame stepped in.

"Hokage-sama." Itachi nodded his head.

"Uchiha Itachi." The Hokage answered.

"You! You definitely have some nerve returning here after what you've done." Kioshi had a horrible thought flash through his mind. "He's not the father is he?" Kioshi hoarsely whispered. Kari pondered the question then smiled and nodded. There was a shocked silence.

"It's always good to hear both sides of the story in any case. Sasuke, he has effected you probably the most out of all of us so please hold off any comments until he has finished." The sandaime said. Itachi began to explain what Orochimaru did and how he committed the massacre and how he hunted Orochimaru down to finding him in Akatsuki and joining to hunt him down, not leaving out any detail. They remained silent contemplating the information they just received. Naomi came in with snacks. "this part I knew about since a letter came informing me that Orochimaru joined Akatsuki, there wasn't a name so I'm right in saying it was you Itachi-san."

"Yes, the leader has suspected me for passing along that information." Itachi answered.

"Why would 2 other missing-nins come with you? And how does Kari-san come into all this? And will we let Uchiha Itachi off scott free? Can they all be trusted?" Asuma asked.

"Not scott free no. You realize you still left the village and joined the Akatsuki, people will not trust you so we're going to do this, you cannot leave the village for 6 months and you can not do any missions above C-rank for the same space of time along with the others. A shinobi will come to check on you everyday, can we trust that you'll give up your old ways and benefit Konoha?"

"We've done a lot of things we're not proud of; Grave robbing-" Kisame began

"Blowing up the school-" Deidara cut in.

"Double parking, J walking, running over the taco bell dog-"

"Pan handling, arson un-"

"Making fun of that blind guy and bugging old Sam-Sam remember Deidara?"

"Those were some good times un and no body got hurt un."

"Well some people got hurt."

"But no body we knew but we'll definitely change our ways, especially for Kari chan un!"

"Which comes to my story." Kari said and told them about the war Orochimaru waged with light and them almost being wiped out then looking for jobs and Akatsuki letting her work for them "I did come back to Konoha before this, but I was only passing through." She told how the leader accepted her for the job and blindfolded her and took her to the hideout. "I would have also passed on information but they screen their letters going out and coming in and never let me in on any meetings and never talked about any funny business around me.

"Quite understandable." The Hokage said.

"We also know Orochimaru plans to attack Konoha." Kari added.

"Well obviously, I saw him in the forest of death!" Anko said, "And Kakashi's seen him too! We all know he's back!"

"I think that it'd be a good idea to have shinobi spy on the foreigners, you never know who to trust these days." Genma informed. The Hokage nodded and Sasuke sat down at the table.

"Does this end the meeting?" Satori asked from a shadowed corner.

"Yes, it's time to go, farewell." The Hokage and everyone else except for Kakashi and Sasuke. It was silent until Kari got up to make a peanut butter and carrot sandwich with whipped cream on it.

"So you're staying here Sasuke?" Kakashi asked.

"Hai."

Kakashi sighed, "I see, if anything happens and you betray our trust, I will hunt you all down and kill you."

"You can trust us, I swear we would never do anything of the sort." Kari answered.

"Alright then. By the way Sasuke, your training starts tomorrow at 6am at the usual spot." Kakashi vanished in a cloud of ninja smoke.

"Yay I can go to bed un!" Deidara went to grab a glass of water.

"Brownie?" Naomi asked Sasuke, who took one.

"Thanks…" He muttered.

"Oh that's right! Sasuke that's my sister Naomi, my brother Satori, the shark man's Kisame, and the blondie with the ponytail is Deidara. Guys, this is Sasuke, Itachi's outoto." Kari informed.

"I figured that out, they have the same cold eyes, pretty boy face, and that antisocial-ness vibe." Kisame pointed out.

"They probably have the same hot temper un." Deidara added.

"Man, I'm going to bed night." Naomi left and the others quickly followed suit.

END!! 

_Well, as promised I updated on my two free days, and in a day I'm going to Ontario and I probably won't have contact with a computer, so I want to come home with my review count in the nineties! And if it is then I'll update as soon as I get home! Please review...and I'm sorry if I made it seem like they were forgiven too easily…but don't worry about that. _

_Sakura Sama 101 signing off_


	22. so many visitors in one day

_Yay I'm finally back! And I probably won't be going anywhere for a long time…(Summer) Thanks for the reviews! And yah, I've just been a little busy and I finally found some spare time. And aaaahhhhh! My sleeping schedule is completely weird now…and other then that I'm fine _

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"_Love is like a war, easy to begin but very hard to stop." H.L Mencken_

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**'Inner Kari'**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, it's rightfully Masashi Kishimoto's (sp?) I think that's right_…

Over the next couple of days nothing out of the ordinary happened, Sasuke was gone before anyone could wake up with the exception of Itachi and/or Satori and would be back late or in the afternoon depending on how beat up he looked. 5 days after the meeting it was pretty much the same. Kari was trying to find the whipped cream for it wasn't where she put it, when the doorbell rang she went to answer it "Hello how goes it?"

"I-It goes well." Hinata answered. Kari let her in "I-I just want to say t-thank you…"

"Oh no don't thank me, you're my friend, so why are you here?" Kari asked curious.

"My f-father wanted to know i-if you were going t-to teach music again."

"I wasn't planning on it but for you I'll do it, I know how tough family can be." Kari led Hinata to the living room. Hinata began to cough because there was still a fair amount of dust. "Sorry, we're still trying to clean this place up, we're almost finished."

"N-No it's ok." Hinata answered. They both sat down and Naomi and Deidara entered the room.

Naomi ran over "One of us! One of us! You look like you're from the Imamura clan."

"Naomi this is Hyuga Hinata, the look-a-likes…" Kari answered, "This is my sister."

"The Hyuuga originally came from our village." He sat down.

"And that's my brother." Kari added. **'Wait so this means…Hyuuga came from hidden light…"**

"Lets watch Comedy Network un." Deidara said grabbing the remote and turning on the TV.

"And that's Deidara…" Kari introduced. **"And the Uchiha came from the Hyuuga supposedly…and you came from hidden light…Holy Dina we're all related!" **'No we aren't….well technically the Hyuuga and Uchiha are around 13th cousins or something to that extent and mixing with other blood makes it so that they aren't pure and stuff….and the people who became Hyuuga weren't related to me in anyway…what are you smoking….I want some…' **'No! For more reasons than one!' **'Fine I was only joking anyway…' "Where are Kisame and Itachi?"

"Kisame's asleep and Itachi is at the Hokage's office un." Deidara answered. Kisame came down the stairs and Hinata jumped startled at his sudden appearance.

"You just hate me cause I'm blue." Kisame said the first words that came to mind in a false accusing tone.

"N-No…you just startled m-me…" Hinata answered. Kisame nodded.

"I have that effect on people." Kisame answered. There was a knock on the door.

"I'll get it." Naomi said and left. She came back with 2 older people, a man and a woman. All Kari saw was white as the older woman hugged her.

"Hi…Okaa-san…Outo-san…"Kari gasped out. The woman let go **'Oh shit it's them!!' **

"Oh how you've grown! And quite a bit on the pudgy side, how are you ever going to be a beautiful geisha?"

"I'm a ninja mother…" Kari sighed a little exasperated.

"Where is he?" Kari's father asked sharply "your fiancé." A cloud of ninja smoke stopped Kari from answering.

"Right here." Itachi's voice answered and the smoke dissipated.

"Hey." Kari said.

"You're early, you said you'd be back by diner un." Deidara said.

"I never said that." Itachi answered.

"It's the sugar, Dei-Dei-chan found the pocky." Naomi informed.

Kisame choked on his coffee "Dei-Dei-chan!?"

Deidara looked sad "That's my nickname, Sasori called me that when no one was around."

"Nightmares…" Kari mumbled. Before anyone could say anything else Hinata let out a quiet shriek for Mika had started to lick her face. The door opened and Sasuke came in looking very battered and panting followed by a very worn out Kakashi.

"Are we interrupting anything?" Kakashi asked.

"No make yourselves comfortable. So how'd training go?" Kari asked.

"Good, we got the nessecary speed and physical strength, now we have to learn the actual technique." Kakashi answered.

"That's good, you'll have that technique down in 2 weeks un!" Deidara said to Sasuke.

"What technique are you learning?" Kisame asked.

"Chidori." Itachi and Sasuke said at the same time. Kakashi nodded.

"I never heard of that one un." Deidara commented.

"I invented it." Kakashi answered. "Well I'd love to stay and chat but I have things to do."

'Like read that perverted book.' Sasuke thought to himself. Kakashi disappeared in a cloud of smoke.

"Well Sasuke do you want anything?" Naomi asked looking at the cuts and bruises. Sasuke shook his head and sat down. They were silent for a while watching the TV.

"We live nextdoor, don't hesitate to come over and ask for help!" Kari's mom said and they left. "I'm happy! I get to be a grandma!" they heard her from outside.

"She really is trying." Naomi said.

"And she does love you and wants to help you with your pregnancy." Satori added.

Kari heaved a sigh "I know." They were silent for a moment "Sasuke-kun, you can have a shower if you want." Sasuke left. They continued to watch TV and around 45 minutes later Hinata tapped Kari's shoulder.

"Where's the bathroom?" She asked.

"Down the hall, first door to your left." Kari answered. Hinata nodded and went down the hall, she was about to open the door when the door right across the hall opened and brushed against her back. She turned around and crashed into Sasuke who just came from the shower. The only thing covering him was a towel that was loosely tied around his hips.

Hinata immediately went red "S-Sorry!" and she went in the room behind her, which was thankfully the bathroom. Sasuke just shook his head and went to his room. Hinata sighed as she sank to the ground with her back resting against the door. 'That was close…' Hinata stood up 'Though Sasuke may be all the rage Naruto's cuter.' Hinata came back 5 minutes later "Well I better get back, see you l-later."

"Bye." Everyone said except for Itachi and Sasuke who was still n his room changing. Sasuke came out and sat on a chair. Kari was drumming her fingers on her leg and suddenly Jiraiya poked his head through the window. Naomi quickly let him in.

"Ero-sannin why are we here?! You said we were going to train!" a voice called.

"Oh great, the dobe's here…" Sasuke mumbled.

"All in good time, I just wanted to see how everyone was doing here." Jiraiya answered.

"Ero-Oji-san whyd'ya come?" Kari asked.

"Well I heard you were back in town and that you met some nuke-nins and your sister on the way and that you and Sasuke and everyone else was staying here and HOLY SHIT IT'S ITACHI

Naruto popped his head in through an open window "Hey! this is Sasuke-teme's house!!"

"Obviously Naruto, where did you think I lived if not in a house?" Sasuke asked.

"Well…I kinda thought you lived in a box for the longest time since you never invited anyone for an occasional sleepover." Naruto admitted. Kari and Sasuke sweatdropped.

"Ero-oji-san, calm down…Itachi's my fiancé…" Kari began to explain.

"Why does everyone call me Ero? I mean I know I'm perverted but I've never done anything perverted to the people who call me that…" Jiraiya's not even paying attention.

"Lets see…you gave me the 'birds and the bees' story when I was 2, didn't understand a word you said but still, Itachi's my fiancé and I'm pregnant."

"Oh so you're gonna get-" Jiraiya's eyes lit up and walked over to Itachi "Could you tell me all the positions you used and some techniques and how it all went? I have writers block see-"

Kari then beat Jiraiya into a bloody pulp 'If I wasn't on probation I would have helped….' Itachi thought.

"Naruto…I'm sorry but due to the injuries I have we'll train again tomorrow." Jiraiya said through 2 puffed lips.

Naruto sighed "You deserved it and I'm gonna make you train me dattebayo!!" Naruto dragged Jiraiya out the door.

"I wonder who else is going to visit today?" Naomi innocently asked.

Ebisu poked his head in through the window "Have you seen Jiraiya-sama anywhere?"

Kari shook her head and Ebisu left "What a pain…" Satori commented.

_END!_

_Well that ends this chapter…sorry if it's short but that's how I wrote it , and yah I finally got my sleeping pattern back and yah please review! I don't know when I'll update again but please review! And yah…I really have nothing else to say…_

_Sakura Sama 101_


	23. The calm before the storm

_Hey there everyone. I've finally gotten up off my ass and decided to update this story…(although I could update my other ones…) and yup I was feeling depressed on the day I planned to update this (and I mean __**very**__ depressed to make me not want to update.) and now that I'm feeling better here is this chapter for ya _

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"_True fear is not the reduction of fear but going beyond fear." Chogyam Trungpa_

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'**Inner Kari'**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. _

Kari was at the hospital on the day before the final rounds. She checked up on Chouji and Naruto then went to help heal Rock-lee. Gai was already there.

'Dude…how did he keep that hair-doo for so many years? I'm surprised that bullies didn't throw him in a trashcan daily…well he'd kick their asses if they tried…' Kari randomly thought.

Soon Kari was pulled into a 'youthful' hug "Thank you! Thank you for coming to heal my favourite student."

Kari awkwardly patted the spandex clad man on the back "Yeah." He let her go and she began to finish healing the other half of lee's body that she couldn't do before.

A gruelling half an hour later left Kari exhausted. Gai looked at her in concern. "Are you going to be alright? If I hurt the youth of your pregnancy I'll never forgive myself!"

"Oh no…I just haven't been getting good sleep lately…and I'm hungry."

"Yosh! I am feeling hungry myself! Let us go to the cafeteria where the food tastes like crap and the ladies serving it look even crappier." They left.

'I hope that isn't true…' Kari thought to herself **'Probably is.'**

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"Where the hell am I?!" Naruto yelled out.

"Not so loud Naruto! We're in the hospital." Shikamaru peeked his head in. 'Jeez Naruto's here…what a drag.'

"Hey so do you have a mental illness?" Naruto asked Shikamaru.

"No Naruto, Chouji's here because I put too much X-lax in his brownies." Shikamaru explained.

"Oh…do you know if Rock-lee is doing better?" Naruto asked.

"I saw Kari earlier, she was supposed to be healing him, she's probably done now."

"THEN LETS GO SEE UNIBROW!!" Naruto called.

"Ssh! Naruto!" Shikamaru scolded.

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Kari was sitting on a hospital bed waiting for the doctor to begin an ultrasound. 'I wonder how Kisame, Deidara and Itachi are doing on missions…'

BOOM! RAWRR "**DEIDARA!!" **Kisame's voice yelled.

'Yep. Wonder how that went…' Kari sighed.

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"What the-why's there sand all over the place?!" Naruto yelled. Shikamaru could feel murderous intent beyond the doors and told Naruto. They broke in and got into dramatic poses and Shikamaru used his shadow possession jutsu on the first person he saw which was fortunately Gaara.

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Kari finished with her appointment. Rapid flutterings and a few moments later a sharp jolt of pain came when she was walking "Stop it you 2! Do I have to ground you before you're out of the womb?!" she muttered to herself. They stopped.

Gai walked around the corner "Oh! I was just going to see Lee now, he'd be awake by now."

Kari nodded and said "Yeah I'll come too." They walked to the room. Naruto and Shikamaru were scared and shocked out of their senses then Gaara walked out of the room.

Lee sat up suddenly "How long was I out?"

"a couple of hours my youthfull student." Gai answered.

'He looks fine, I better get home.' Kari thought as she exited the room. Kurenai met up with her as soon as Kari stepped outside the hospital "Oh watcha doing?"

"I'm here to help you home." Kurenai answered.

"Alright." Kari sighed. They chatted most of the way home and when they stepped inside no one was home "oh I guess they're still on their mission."

"Then would you give me a tour? While no one's home?" Kurenai sweetly asked. Kari curiously glanced at Kurenai "Sure why not?" They walked down the hallway "that's Deidara's room, Sasuke's, Kisame's; you definitely don't want to open the door, bathroom, dojo, kitchen, living room, my bedroom and across from that's my incomplete nursery."

"Lets go see it." Kurenai asked. Kari opened the door.

"SURPRISE!!" Kari looked inside, Itachi, Deidara, Kisame, Sasuke, Naomi, Satori and her mother and father were all in there.

"Oh you finished it?" Kari asked, half the room was painted blue, half was panted a very pale pink. There was a changing table in the middle, two cribs one on each side along with their own toys. "You guys did a damn good job."

"Anything for my baby girl!" Her mother said. Kari gave a weak smile.

"does anyone want anything? After all that work it's the least I could do." Kari said.

"Some coffee would be nice." Satori answered. They all trooped to the kitchen. Itachi was the one who made the coffee for Kari wasn't allowed to have caffeine (as recommended by her obstetrician.) And was caught trying to make coffee at 2:00 in the morning a couple of months ago and thus all things that had caffeine in them (which included chocolate) was hidden.

Sasuke forgot about that ban and was eating a Twix bar. Kari was watching him eat the first stick, while giving him a look that was the puppy dog eyes but she was about to cry.

"The look you're giving me really creeps me out…and makes me pity you." Sasuke commented.

"THE PITY ME SASUKE-KUN!! PITY ME AND SHARE SOME OF THAT CHOCOLATE!!" Kari moaned.

"Ok, ok just don't hurt me." Sasuke handed her the 2nd Twix stick.

'i'll let this one slide, she didn't say cut her off completely…plus the last time Kisame had 2 twix bars and he didn't share with her he almost died…'

"Sasuke-kun, you are my new best friend." Kari said, eating that twix bar and savouring every bite.

Slowly everyone began to leave, Naomi and Satori lived next door and her parents lived across the street. Kurenai had to go help Shino train.

"So Sasuke-kun, you got that technique down un?" Deidara asked. Sasuke nodded.

"Tomorrow's going to be an interesting day." Kisame commented.

'Tomorrow's when he's probably going to strike-' Kari jumped "Oh!"

"What is it?" Kisame asked.

"Everyone, put one hand on my tummy and leave it there." Kari ordered and they obeyed.

Everyone felt movement "Is that the…" Itachi began.

"Yep!" Kari nodded beaming. Of course she felt movements inside her at least a month before but it was either when everyone was busy or when she was alone. It was the perfect ending to a perfect day. But tomorrow was going to be different.

_END!! _

_Well this ends this chapter…I had absolutely no time for this chapter cuz of leslie…and I probably won't have any time to update it till either the last week of may or until the first week of June. Well please review I want it to be close if not to 100 so buhbyes for now. _


	24. what was the plan again?

_Hehehe sorry for not updating when I said I would…or for the past month…I've been busy with finals and friends and all that and I also didn't feel like writing anything even though I've had this written for over 2 months now. And yah I also wanted to take an unannounced hiatus…but now that it's summer I have more time…don't eat me. And also thanks a bunch! I now have 97 reviews for this story! _

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. _

'**Inner Kari.' **

**Things that need emphasis**

Kari was frantically searching for Sasuke n the morning of the finals.

"He's probably out with Kakashi." Itachi stated.

Kari sighed "yeah I guess, plus we'll be seeing him later, he'd kill himself if he missed this."

Soon Kari, Kisame, Itachi, Deidara, Naomi, and Satori were at the arena in stands all looking grim and ready for battle Deidara was giving Naomi basic ninja lessons so that if it was absolutely necessary she could hold her own until someone would realize she was in danger.

Soon it was the battle between Naruto and Neji and they definitely didn't bore the crowd.

"He surprises me." Kari commented. She just finished crying over Neji's past.

'he's learned how to use the red fox's chakra…probably Jiraiya-sama's work.' Itachi thought.

Later….

"God…all these kids are wieners…" Naomi covered her mouth.

"Naomi…you're finally turning into one of us." Kari said proud.

"My…bad…" Naomi said nervously.

Finally Shikamaru and Temari's round came up. Naruto **gracefully **kicked Shikamaru off the rail.

"Haha! Somethings never change." Kari laughed. **'The lazy ass.' **

Their battle was over and while everyone was **patiently** waiting for Sasuke…

'**Kakashi's going to die if he doesn't get here!' **inner Kari angrily thought.

"Kakashi got lost on the road of life." Itachi predicted Kakashi's famous late statements.

"Or Sasuke's still styling his hair." Kisame muttered.

Sasuke and Kakashi make their grand appearance, Kari was about ready to launch herself at them but she somehow kept herself back. Finally the battle began and it was definitely worth the wait.

'He's going to strike soon…real soon…' Itachi thought as he looked around. The others also watched for any sign of attack, when feathers began to rain down from the sky they knew that the time was now.

"Kai!" Their voices chorused. No sooner did the cancel it, sound ninjas came at them. Kisame surprised his by pulling out Samehada faster than eyes could see and shaved him in half. The other sound ninja felt substantially weaker since Samehada stole some of their chakra in that fell swoop.

Satori pulled out a sword but it wasn't a normal sword. It was a double bladed sword similar to the sword Darth Maul used in starwars.

"Kumogata Nendo un." Deidara muttered as spider shaped clay latched on the sound shinobi's faces. "Katsu." They exploded.

"Deidara! No fair!" Kari whined.

"There'll be more." Itachi grimly spoke.

"Sasuke's gone." Satori pointed out. Sasuke wasn't in the arena.

'I wonder…did he go after the sand shinobi?' Itachi thought to himself. 'During the battle…I felt a strange demonic power…Sasori told me of a demon that lurked in suna, shukaku or something. If it were sealed in that boy…Sasuke could be in danger…' He glanced around 'But this is a little more important and Kakashi would have sent someone out after him by now.' He jumped to a different set of steps and as they went they killed all sound shinobi in their path.

"Look." Kisame pointed to the barrier surrounding Orochimaru and the Sandaime.

"There's nothing we can do." Itachi assessed.

"I could break it…" Kari thought out loud.

"No." Itachi answered. "Not in your condition."

"But, I'm probably the only one who has that power!" Kari retorted.

"Even if you are, there's only a 50/50 chance of you actually succeeding those chances are not worth losing you or our family." Itachi said grabbing her arms.

Kari was too shocked to speak but these words finally surfaced "I have a plan but I'll need your help." And Kari quickly voiced her plan.

"So what was the plan again?" Kisame asked.

"Well…I have a hunch, usually you'd have to touch a barrier and over ride the energy inside it, if it failed you'd be hurt not only by the barrier but by the energy sent out to you…times ten. My idea is to shoot an energy powered arrow at the barrier. It takes time to summon energy so I need you to protect me while I'm trying to break the barrier down." Kari explained.

"How did you come up with that brainwave." Kisame asked.

"Inuyasha." Kari answered. The two stopped and looked at her like she was insane. "Yeah I know, I never tried it before but it's better then actually touching the barrier."

"Not that, you're entrusting our lives off of a dumb TV show!" Itachi couldn't keep the anger and irritation out of his voice and Kari was taken a back.

"Just kidding…it sounded similar to a story my father told me, I just varied it a little, my ancestor used a spear and broke the barrier that way." Kari quickly explained. 'No one's been able to summon what we would call **sacred** energy since she did it.' they were moving again 'Sure I can control **pure energy** but **sacred** energy is on a whole different level. Nothing can thwart it other than **sacred** energy.'

"We're almost there!" Kisame informed.

'Pure energy can only do so much, it can heal and purify mild to moderate poisons and wounds and other things but sacred energy comes from the soul instead of from chakra so everyone has it but few know how to unlock it, it's similar to the sharingan in how it's released. Depending on how strong your character is that's how strong your energy is. Sacred energy can heal any wound, cure any poison and disease, even cancel the most powerful enchantments and barriers but not before leaving your body barely any strength to function and taking a piece of your soul.' Kari remembered from reading a family scroll.

Itachi set her down and drew his katana. "There is a lot of uncertainty in this."

"Have faith." Kari said smiling 'I believe!' **'This has to work, because the Hokage's as good as dead without aid.' **'Yeah, that and without finding a way to activate the sacred energy I'll risk losing my powers in matrimony.' She pulled out an arrow from her quiver and wrapped her hands around it so that she was doing the ram handseal and the point of the arrow was pointed toward the sky.

END!

_Sorry for leaving you hanging like that and I was going to update this on Monday but unfortunately I was forced to go to bed cuz I was going to see my friends in another town so I had to go to bed early but it was worth it cuz now I'm not single anymore and I got to see all my friends XD!! So now I'm really happy and I'll try to update within the next two weeks. Cuz I think I'm camping, I'm not sure. Well please review and buhbye for now! _

_Sakura Sama 101 signing off. _


	25. Sacred energy released

_Lol I decided to get this chapter out as soon as possible for the more anxious readers lol, I was going to be mean and put out the filler chapter to keep you guys in suspense but then I thought 'Nah, too much effort cuz I need to do some finishing touches on them and this was already written.' So yah here's chapter 25 of Akatsuki's flower_

_Oh yah on another note halfdemon-kai mentioned something important to me that I never really thought about or did very slightly until now…Well I know that priestesses lose their powers in matrimony but that's because they're not virgins anymore since you have to consummate the marriage…but for some reason I had the thought stuck in my brain that it was only the ceremony that would take away the powers so I thought 'Oh shit…a little late for marriage to effect her powers…' so it's my mistake…damn Mountain Dew XD hopefully it won't ruin anything._

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"_Dreaming permits each and everyone of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives." –Charles William Dement._

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_and another note…(I don't really read what I write unless I'm writing it then I read as I post it…) but there's an OC here that's my friends and I put her in cuz she's my friend and that she moved recently so yeah. ____ and she's got a different personality than most other random Ocs in my opinion. _

'**Inner Kari.' **

**things that need emphasis**

**_Other worldly voices_**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto_

As soon as Kari went into that position, sound shinobi began to attack. Kisame began to take care of the ones that were further away since his sword would steal Kari's chakra. Itachi handled the ones who escaped from Kisame.

'Kari, shrine maiden of the Toshikawa clan prays for the assistance of Susanowo-no-Mikoto to give me strength and help me fight in battle so I can protect all that is precious to me!' she concentrated all of her will into the arrow in her hands and 10 minutes later nothing was happening.

'What's taking her son long?' Itachi and Kisame thought simultaneously.

'We won't be able to hold them off much longer.' Itachi grimly thought.

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Meanwhile Naomi, Deidara and Satori left the arena to help everyone else outside.

"Well this is just great." Satori sarcastically remarked at the 3 giant snakes. "How much explosives do you have Deidara-san?"

Deidara began to rummage around in his cloak, it was lack with detailed red birds on it, he called it Akatori "I have a large Ziploc bag full of clay, a couple of canteens of nitro-glycerine, some cherry bombs, 20 sticks of dynamite, paper clips, some exploding tags…road flare…un…" Deidara emptied the contents of his pockets.

"I love the smell of roasted snake in the morning." Satori commented.

"Eww.." Naomi added "Oh! Satori made a funny!"

"Hehe…yeah…" Satori groaned, "Deidara you take the one of the left, Naomi take the one in the middle and I'll take the one on the right."

"But I can't fight a snake!" Naomi yelled.

"Fine then us men will kill them all un!" and they left.

Naomi sighed and sat down despite all the fighting going on. She just hit enemy shinobi with some custom made fans (Courtesy of Ten-Ten and Mamoru)

Satori ran up to his snake and began to slash on with his sword, but all it did was annoy the hell out of the snake. He dodged a fanged lunge and put some chakra into his sword. The snake caught Satori's arm with is tail and brought Satori around and since Satori was bound he couldn't free himself and was about to get eaten. Suddenly Deidara sent a clay bird their way and it exploded on contact with the snake's tail, just below where Satori was. The snake roared and threw its head back in agony and Satori used that chance to try and slice his head off. I say try because his sword didn't go all the way through. It did hit the 2 main blood vessels in the neck and broke it's vertebrae.

"What do you say un?" Deidara asked Satori.

"You should have come sooner." Satori answered.

"Nothing about 'Oh Deidara-kun you're my hero un! You saved me!'" Deidara pouted.

"Nope." Satori answered. The Konoha shinobi were dealing with the last snake for Deidara blew up the other one just before by pouring Nitro-glycerine down it's throat.

* * *

'Why isn't it working!?' Kari screamed in her head. Her hands began to shake as a lone tear began to fall. 'I'm so lost right now…Hokage-sama please be ok…'

Itachi and Kisame were fending off the ninja fairly well but while Itachi was fighting one, another one ran in and Itachi wasn't able to stop him fromm attacking Kari as he still had to fell the shinobi he was currently fighting with. The most he could do was let her know what was happening "KARI!! BEHIND YOU!!"

Kari broke out of her thoughts and turned herself around to guard from the attack and as she did the arrow she had lit up with deep purple light that had glimmers of other colors in it and as the shinobi made his move the arrow stabbed him and he exploded. "I…I did it…"

'_**Toshikawa Kari…you have learned a forbidden spiritual art of priests. By doing this you've used up part of your soul. Eventually the soul heals itself but only if there's more than 75 percent. Only use it if someone close to you is dying or if your whole village is in trouble. Keep using it and your soul will disappear, then you will die. Now put the arrow on the string and dispel the barrier.'**_

Kari did as the foreign voice in her head ordered and shot at the barrier. After a couple of moments the barrier disappeared.

"Thank you Kari. You and Kisame stay here." Itachi turned to Kisame "Do your best to keep her away." He muttered and disappeared before Kari could say a word of protest.

"Well, we can't stay here." Kisame began. Kari sighed.

'This isn't jut about him!' Kari screamed in her head. **'Orochimaru hurt us too! But we need to formulate a plan first!' **Kari reluctantly let Kisame take her away. 'I'll be back!'

* * *

Jiraiya landed on the last snake with his frog summon. They were now trying to kill the sound ninja. Kakashi and Gai were with them.

"The barrier is gone!" Kakashi said astonished.

"Good, they did it." Satori mumbled.

"Hey Satori you homo!" a voice called in a bantering tone "Where's your sister?"

"Don't let it be her…" Satori muttered, he turned to see a girl who had very short black hair with bangs that were past her collarbone. Her eyes were a green-grey, she had a swirl tattoo on her forehead and had a ninja mask on that was baby blue that had pink hearts and red swirls. She was wearing a blue corset with a black hoodie and jean caprices. "Damn."

"Wow this place is a mess..hey! Hottie with the porn, what issue is that?" the new girl asked.

"Volume 3." Kakashi answered not even looking at her.

"Well anyways, lend it to me when you're done. My name's Tori, **don't** wear it out."

'Aw man un! Sasori, Satori and Tori are too confusing un!' Deidara groaned in his head.

"Here come some more." Gai alerted them and did a battle cry.

Tori bit her thumb and slid her bleeding thumb across a foreign scroll then did some hand signs and summoned her hell hounds, who got rid of the offending ninja. "So where's Kari homo?"

* * *

Itachi walked on the rooftop where the barrier stood, the 4 who cast the barrier were unconscious. The Hokage's dead corpse stood a couple of feet ahead. 'So he did it.' Itachi walked past the sandaime's body to where a figure stood a couple feet beyond waiting for him. The 3 ANBU who were there the whole time came over.

"So he really is dead then." The leader spoke sombrely.

"Get him out of here and make sure no one sees. I'll deal with him." Itachi ordered.

"Yes Itachi-sama." And the 3 ANBU took the Hokage's body away.

"So Uchiha Itachi the time has come at last. Only one of us will survive." Orochimaru began as he faced Itachi.

"It certainly won't be you." Itachi answered.

* * *

Kari and Kisame were walking down a flight of stairs, the only sound was their feet hitting the floor. Kari suddenly let out a groan and was grasping at the rail for support.

"Kari-chan! Are you ok?! Are you going into labour?" Kisame asked.

"No Kisame-kun, I'm only-"

"STAY IN!! IT'S NOT YOUR TIME YET!!" He yelled at her stomach.

"Dude…I'm only 5 months, one of them just gave me a good kick."

"YOU CAN'T BE BORN TODAY!! TODAY'S MY BIRTHDAY!!"

"Your birthday was in March, it's August now."

"EVERYDAY'S MY BIRTHDAY!!"

"Do you want me to sick Deidara on you?"

"No I'll be good."

Kari had one last thing to say "But they were conceived on your birthday."

Kisame paled "you mean you and Itachi…" he paused and had a disgusted look "DID THAT ON MY BIRTHDAY!?"

"Dude…" Kari began but Kisame passed out.

"Well now I can go rescue Itachi from the Micheal Jackson wannabe." Kari muttered as she walked back up the stairs.

END!!

_Well sorry to end it there but that's where I ended it when I wrote it XD Please review, and all that jazz and I'll try to get the next chapter up whenever I can lol. _

_Sakura Sama 101 signing off. _


	26. The final battle

_Heyo again! Well thanks for reviewing and supporting the fic, and just so that everyone knows, just cuz this is the final battle doesn't mean that this fic is over just yet it's still got more than 10 chapters and I haven't even finished writing it. Well please enjoy and forgive any awkwardness in this chapter (Baileigh helped me write it since we both didn't want to do anything in home ec. and decided to write this instead) we used it to kind of lighten the mood a little. _

_

* * *

_"_I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts." John Locke__

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_'**Inner Kari'**

**things that need emphasis**

_hand seals_

**JUTSU NAMES**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto_

Itachi and Orochimaru stared at eachother, one sizing up the other.

Itachi had a game plan in mind, though it was way out of his character it was so crazy it might just work "You know what I'm going to do to you after I kill you?" Itachi asked.

"What?" Orochimaru answered.

"Steal your wallet."

"NNOOO!! It's designer! Not if I can kill you and steal your purse!"

"You calling me gay?" Itachi asked.

"Yep!" Orochimaru said proud of his comeback.

"Takes one to know one."

"I agree…wait a minute! Hey that's not very nice! You don't call people gay!"

"I just did Voldemort." Itachi knew he was **way** out of character but if he was going to psych out Orochimaru this was the only way.

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!!" Orochimaru lunged. Itachi pulled out his katana and parried the blow. Orochimaru tried again but Itachi parried that move too. Orochimaru jumped back and stretched his neck out and his head came for Itachi.

'Shit!' Itachi thought as he dodged his head and tried to get some more space between them 'Does he really think that the curse mark will effect me? Unless…I can't let him bite me!' He continued dodging and the head continued his chase. Suddenly Itachi got an angry slash to the side and as he located where it came from Orochimaru's head closed in, at the last possible moment Itachi ducked and Orochimaru head butted his body and in the confusion Itachi raised his katana and made to slice his head off, but Orochimaru sensed this so when Itachi sliced down he got Orochimaru's side instead.

"No one's ever made me bleed my own blood! NOBODY!" Orochimaru yelled dramatically.

'He's not even taking this seriously.' Itachi thought with a sigh. He made seals.

_Horse tiger_

**KATON: GOUKYAKU NO JUTSU **(fire style: Grand fireball technique)

Itachi blew a massive fireball at Orochimaru who got caught in the blast. Itachi stopped to see ashes fall to the ground.

"Hello Itachi…" Orochimaru said from behind and stabbed Itachi so that his blade came out of Itachi's gut. "One nuisance out of the way." Itachi disappeared in a cloud of ninja smoke then Orochimaru received a roundhouse kick to the head.

"I won't be taken out that easily." Itachi said, his form could be seen through the smoke

* * *

"Who's the R-tard screaming?" Tori asked.

"Kisame…" The others deadpanned.

"We better go rescue him…" Naomi sighed. They entered the nearby building to see Kisame sprawled down on the ground and Kari was nowhere in sight.

"Kisame! Yo un!" Deidara called.

'Don't let it be him! Please if there is a god out there don't let it be him…' Kisame thought. He opened his eyes to see Deidara peer into his eyes 'Shit…'

"He's alive un!" Deidara cried.

"I'm so changing my birthday." Kisame muttered. Deidara smirked. "Where's Kari-kun?"

"We didn't see her." Satori added.

'I'm so fucked!' Kisame screamed in his head.

"If she's hurt…" Tori growled. "I'm not mad at you, she doesn't listen worth a damn, that and I heard the news, she's being selfish."

"At least we know where she's going." Naomi informed.

* * *

Kari ran up past a couple of buildings. Her target was within sight.

Meanwhile on that building Itachi and Orochimaru were matching move for move in a flurry of swords.

"You're proving to be weaker than Sasuke-kun." Orochimaru taunted.

"Shut up." Itachi forced him back by thrusting his sword. For the last little while Itachi had been trying to use the Mangyekou Sharingan but Orochimaru refused to look into his eyes. Itachi sensed a familiar feeling along with a gentle thud a little bit above them. Orochimaru glanced in that direction and Itachi got him with a nasty right hook that sent him crashing to the ground "That was for my father."

Orochimaru stood up holding his cheek where an angry red welt began to form. "Now it's my turn." He began to swing his sword wild and erratically. Itachi managed to block the first couple of strikes but one caught him unaware and it sliced his shirt open and a great slash was across his chest as blood blossomed around him. Orochimaru stood over him and was about to deal a death blow but with great strain Itachi rolled away as an arrow that shone with purple chakra hit Orochimaru in the shoulder of his sword arm, throwing off his aim so he missed by a metre.

'It's about time.' Itachi thought. He not only knew she wouldn't listen but he counted on it and incorporated it into his battle strategy.

Orochimaru pulled the arrow out of his side "She's here too now?" He chuckled "Now I can kill two birds with one stone." He jumped up on a large piece of debris as Kari hid behind a pillar. He felt her presence and made to grab her with snakes that came out of his sleeves but Itachi hacked their heads off in one fell swoop. Kari jumped a safe distance away and quickly hid her chakra, nimbly putting an arrow in between he fingers.

"Your business is with me." Itachi said. He knew there was a major flaw in his plan but he knew Kari wouldn't have listened anyway, but as long as she stayed hidden. 'A human's power grows exponentially when he has something to protect…stupid Inuyasha…and didn't that kid in the mist say that too?' Itachi's thoughts were cut short as Orochimaru got at him again. Block, parry, dodge, Itachi got a shallow slice along the shoulder.

"AAAAHHHH!" Kari's scream made shivers of fear crawl up Itachi's spine as his blood froze. He looked to try and find her and in his haste Orochimaru grabbed Itachi's shoulder in a death grip. And another Orochimaru came out behind the pillar with Kari in tow and a blade at her throat.

The Orochimaru holding Kari chuckled "Looks like the two of you got busy…" Kari squirmed a little bit and he put the sword closer to her throat. "Itachi, you give me your Sharingan and body and I'll let her and your unborn child go."

Itachi was currently trying to find out which one was the real one. Kari stopped struggling and the only movement was her shaking her head in saying 'No.'

"Better hurry Itachi times ticking." The Orochimaru that had Itachi answered.

'Damn it! What the hell have I gotten myself into?!' Kari began to look around. She noticed Itachi's sharingan rotate slowly and begin to merge. 'Alright!' Kari shut her eyes and began to brace herself. 'Tactic S-I-N-G!' Before the Orochimaru holding her could comprehend it Kari elbowed him in the gut, stepped on his food, head butted him in the nose and with her other arm hit him in the groin. He disappeared in a cloud of ninja smoke. Before the real Orochimaru could do anything Itachi wheeled around in a great burst of speed and grabbed Orochimaru by his neck and began to crush his windpipe. Itachi's Mangyekou Sharingan glared into Orochimaru's cold yellow eyes.

The world was crimson red, the ground and the trees were jet black, Orochimaru was strapped to a cross very much like how Jesus was when he was crucified. "Now I will make you pay for what you did. 72 hours of torture begins now."

Itachi subjected Orochimaru to every creative thought of pain and torture including rape, dismemberment, decapitation, being put in boiling pots of oil, taking out his organs, stuff like that. When orochimaru was released he was in so much mental pain he was unconscious. Itachi blinked, as things got slightly blurry. Kari walked over panting slightly. "Are you okay?" Kari asked worriedly.

"My eyes…" Itachi began. Kari walked over and placed her hands over his eyes and healed them. He grabbed his sword and with a cold glare, lacking pity, guilt and remorse he cut Orochimaru's head off then burned the body. He put an arm around her. "How are you feeling?"

Kari sighed "Tired but happy."

"Oi! Kari-chan!" a happy and familiar voice called.

"Tori-chan?" Kari asked and was soon in a bone breaking hug.

"My god your phat! Pretty Hot And Thick! But I'm just fat!" Tori said "And what the hell were you thinking?! Fighting while pregnant isn't good!"

"My horoscope said I'd win any fight I got into." Kari and Tori began to laugh. Satori just shook his head. Kisame began to scold her half heartedly, Deidara and Naomi just watched and began to walk home. The others soon followed.

* * *

Hinata was fighting in the stadium when she was suddenly grabbed from behind and was being carried off. She turned her head to see it was an enemy sound ninja. She began to struggle and while doing that she began to reach for a kunai in her pouch "H-Heellpp!!" Hinata cried she was then slapped in the face.

"Be quiet!" They were already outside of Konoha. In a small glade he set her down then forced her against a tree trunk and wordlessly began to undo her jacket.

"NOOO!!" Hinata cried, and half because she jumped in fear and shock and because she needed to get him off her before he raped her she stabbed her kunai through his stomach. He fell down bleeding to death and Hinata slumped against the tree trunk. Soon the man let out his last breath. "I-I'm sorry…" Hinata stood up and was about to leave when three oto-shinobi cut off her path, and without a word began to fight her. She jumped high in the air and flipped then dashed forward and began to attempt to close tenkitsu, she managed to hit some on the neck, shoulder and chest of one and he fell unconscious. Her open hand hit one and suddenly gasped and let out a cough. She put some distance between them and stood 'I'm going to die aren't I?' she thought gloomily and looked at them come at her. She got into a fighting stance. Before they could touch her though someone wearing dark clothes stood in front of her to protect he from the incoming shinobi, she looked up and recognised the hairstyle 'Sasuke…' she blushed at how close he was to her. Of course she liked Naruto but no one ever willingly protected her from her enemies other than her father. Especially Sasuke, who they didn't know eachother very well, having only talked to eachother a few times, then there was the shower incident.

Sasuke clothes lined the closest one then broke then next one's neck. Hinata began to cough again and fell to her knees. The oto-nin who was clothes lined got up but Sasuke threw a Fuma Shuriken at him that killed him instantly. Sasuke then turned to the young woman behind him. Blood was trickling down Hinata's hands as she continued to cough.

"Did those ninja do that to you?" Sasuke asked 'This won't be good to have a handicap.'

"N-No…" She let out a hacking cough "My…cousin hit me."

"Ah."

Hinata unsteadily stood up and quickly got footing "Yo Sasuke-teme! Wait for us!" Naruto's voice called and immediately Naruto, Sakura and Pakkun entered the clearing. "What're you doing here Hinata-kun?" He asked curiously "What happened to your hands?"

Hinata went scarlet, "I-It's nothing Naruto-kun…" She wiped her hands on a kerchief.

"I'm heading back." Sasuke began to leave.

"Wait up Sasuke-kun!" Sakura called after him. They made it inside Konoha and soon the sand and sound shinobi were driven out.

END!!

_Whew…this took me 3 days to type…mind I was being lazy and doing a whole bunch of crap at the same time…. which maybe wasn't the wisest thing. But oh well at least it's here XD, and I don't know when I'll get the next chapter out either…. but please review anyway I don't know if I did really good on the fight scenes but I did put a lot of effort in them and in the future I will probably have more….(wink wink) _

_Sakura Sama 101 signing off_


	27. A new adventure

_I'M BACK! Jk. Well here's the next chapter and a new branch in this story…(cry) and well yah I'll get on with the chapter. _

_

* * *

_

"_The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them." Mark Twain_

* * *

**'Inner Kari'**

_thoughts _(I've decided to add italics as thoughts)

**things that need emphasis**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto 

In the Uchiha household everyone was getting ready to go to the sandaime's funeral. There were black clouds hovering over the village that day, and there definitely was a pall of gloom. All businesses were closed and there were no missions assigned. It was mandatory that everyone was attending the service.

'_Wow…I didn't know Lee and Gai had black jumpsuits…'_ Kari though to herself. **'It blows the mind.' **Itachi cracked his neck next to her and Sasuke shifted his position. Finally the service started, and also the rain began to pour. It was the same as a normal funeral. After the service everyone put a white rose on top of his coffin. The pallbearers stood and began to take the Hokage's coffin out and everyone stood up and followed then they all began to leave. Some people nodded to Itachi and Kari as they passed or came up and put their hands on her belly and smiled warmly. It kind of creeped her out and she unconsciously drew closer to Itachi.

"They're only sucking up or greeting us and being nice because we're the head family of the clan now." Itachi muttered remembering how people acted towards his parents when they were younger.

"Got up on the wrong side of the bed?" Kari asked. Itachi didn't answer. Kurenai came up, her arm was linked with Asuma's.

"About your request about me being a bride's maid, I'd be honoured! It's on the 31st right?" Kurenai asked. Kari nodded.

"What's got me curious is who's going to be next Hokage." Asuma commented. Itachi nodded.

* * *

The next day Jiraiya was sitting on a rooftop peering through his handy telescope at some unsuspecting girls innocently taking a bath in the public springs, 2 older people came up to him while he was doing his **research**.

"Still playing the buffoon I see." The man spoke.

Jiraiya stiffened "Hehe, just doing a little research…so, old man Homura and Koharu-sensei, what could you 2 scholarly advisors want with me?"

"Don't waste our time, you know perfectly well what this is all about."

Jiraiya stood up and there was a pause, "Come on guys why the long faces? From what I hear talks with the Sand Village went off without a hitch."

"Sunagakure has publicly stated that Orochimaru was responsible for all of this. They've offered their complete surrender to the leaf village so right now their betrayal is a moot point."

"For now we have no choice but to accept their surrender in order to shore up our power in the region." Koharu said.

"That's correct, however the strength of Konohagakure has just suffered an enormous blow. As things now stand our top priority is to prepare for the onslaught we believe will come." Homura informed.

"We've no way of knowing when any of the surrounding nations will try to make a move. Therefore until the village regains its strength we've decided to round up the top shinobi of each squad and assemble an emergency executive committee to handle the situation but first…." Koharu trailed off. "We need a strong and trustworthy leader. This could be greater than Orochimaru. This could be a far greater struggle."

"Look guys I don't know why you're going through the trouble of explaining this to me, but if you'll excuse me I've got to get back to work…" Jiraiya began to pull out his eyepiece as he began to turn around.

Homura cut Jirayia off "I think you'd be interested in what our plans are. This village needs the 5th hokage immediately."

"And yesterday at an emergency meeting with the lord of fire it was decided we chose you Jiraiya." Koharu informed.

"Sorry to say but it's really not my thing…" Jiraiya said trying to end the conversation

"It's already decided. If you, a ninja of one of the sannin will not do this and the first nomination for the 5th is not eligible then who is?" Homura asked.

'_First nomination? Someone else that isn't Sannin level was considered but not eligible hm? Could they have forgotten her?' _he faced them "There is another Sannin, Tsunade."

The elders glanced at eachother "True, she is capable but no one knows where she is."

"I know someone who does. You guys have no problem with that right?"

"But-"

"The charismatic Tsunade would be a much better choice then someone like me. So what will it be?"

"You can go search for her but along with you and your guide 2 ANBU Black OPS will accompany you."

"Rather than 2 black ops Uzumaki Naruto and his cell and Uchiha Itachi." Jiraiya answered.

"Why Uchiha Itachi?"

"Him and my guide are really close and where ever she goes he will."

Koharu smiled realizing whom his guide was "We will lift his probation for this mission."

"So who was the first nomination?" Jiraiya asked curious.

"Uchiha Itachi, his leadership and abilities at such a young age. He can be compared to the yondaime and could be ranked as high as him. But because he is only 18 years of age he isn't eligible to take the position of the kage of the leaf village. Also the village doesn't quite trust him since he just came out of hiding and some don't think he's trustworthy, if he were made Godaime the country would be in an uproar." Koharu answered.

Jiraiya nodded and turned around as they walked away, _'Damn, one upped by a kid.'_

Jiraiya slowly made his way to the Uchiha district. He knocked on the door and Kari answered then promptly shut the door, she opened it again then shut it and opened it again and let him in. "Whad'ya want Jiraiya?" She curiously asked.

"I need some help." Jiraiya answered.

Kari shut the door and they walked into the living room. "With what?"

"I need to know where Tsunade is and bring her back to the village." Jiraiya said straight to the point.

"And you think I know where she is?" Kari asked.

"…Well I hope you do."

"Well last I heard from her was before I came back to Konohagakure, but I can come with you to help you get her to come back…I have something I need to ask her." Kari said.

"Good, cause you're coming anyway." Jiraiya said

"Yay! Sounds like fun!" Kari answered.

"You're not supposed to be doing too much let alone going somewhere especially since a couple of days ago." Itachi said walking into the room.

"Of course I took that into consideration and I'll summon one of my frogs to keep her off of her feet." Jiraiya said with a smile.

"You realize I will be accompanying her." Itachi added.

"And I'd expect nothing less from you, Ah Kakashi, earlier than usual."

"Yo." Kakashi put a hand through his hair. "I heard your request, we have nothing planned, we could do a survival training mission, anything's better than helping rebuild the village." He sweat dropped.

"Now that that's settled, how about we leave in 2 days?" Jiraiya asked. "Where was the last place she said she was?"

"Border town." Kari answered. "And 2 days is fine." Itachi and Kakashi nodded.

"Whatever." Sasuke answered having just came into the room.

"I better go inform Sakura and Naruto of our plans." Kakashi disappeared.

"See ya in two days." Jiraiya left.

* * *

2 days passed and Naruto and Jiraiya were walking to the village gates

"Naruto, I'm going to teach you a new technique."

"Really?! What is it? Tell me tell me tell me!" Naruto answered.

"Be quiet, we're approaching the gate." Jiraiya ordered. Naruto with much difficulty stayed quiet. Itachi, Kari, Sakura, Sasuke and to everyone's surprise Kakashi were waiting and ready to go. They waited for Naruto and Jiraiya to come and summon Kari a frog and they were soon on their way.

They were a couple of kilometres outside the village…

"Ne ne ne! Ero-Sennin what kind of technique are you gonna teach me?! You taught me the water walk technique last time, so will the next one be a fire walk? Or air walk?" Naruto giggled, "Teach me the next one! Come one Ero-Sennin!"

Kari smirked at Naruto's antics, and Sakura was beating down the urge to beat his head in and the other 3 were trying to tune him out.

"Ero Sennin, Ero-oji-san…you don't know that I'm a great person do you?"

"What? A great perverted hermit?" Naruto answered.

Kari had to chuckle at that one.

"Listen carefully…" Jiraiya ran up to the bridge they were crossing. "They title 'Frog Hermit' Is really a disguise, I shall tell you my true identity. I am the man who has no enemies in the 4 winds, not even in the heavens! I am 1 of the Sannin, white haired frog tamer, even a crying baby would stare in awe…the great Jiraiya! That's me! Jiraiya!"

Naruto stared "Uh.." and he and the others walked past him. Only Sakura was amazed.

"That's so awesome!" and she too walked by. They passed by some signs.

"Otafuku city. It's 10 kilometres from here." Sasuke informed.

"Ne ne ne Ero Sennin!" Naruto called.

"It's Jiraiya, geez…" Jiraiya sighed.

"Since a great perverted hermit like you chose me to be your companion, that means I have great talent in me right?" Jiraiya and the others just stared. Naruto began to run around and asked "HEY HEY HEY HEY! Why did you choose me?!"

"The 4th Hokage was once my apprentice, and you're pretty similar to the Yondaime. That's the only reason." Jiraiya walked past Naruto.

_'You aren't telling me the whole thing. You feel the need to take care of and help his son, along with Kakashi-san.'_ Kari thought as she remembered Jiraiya talk to her about his apprentices. The frog rocking beneath her woke her from her thoughts.

"I'm…similar to the 4th? Alright!" Naruto cried shocking everyone out of their wits.

"What the-"

"All right! If I'm similar to the 4th, that means I have the same talent as him right?! I'm going to become Hokage after all! Alright!" Naruto stared to jump and down in glee.

"Naruto, if you don't be careful and stop jumping you'll land in-" Kakashi began.

Naruto landed and froze "I stepped in dog shit!!"

"The only things similar between you and the Yondaime are your blond hair and stubbornness!" Jiraiya yelled.

"Dobe…" Sasuke muttered. Kari was killing herself laughing. Even Sakura had a smile on her face.

"What did you say you senile Ero-Sennin?!" Naruto stepped forward. "AGAIN!?"

"The only dobe who'd step in the same pile of crap twice." Sasuke muttered.

"Shut up Sasuke-teme!" Naruto yelled.

"There's the definition of a blonde." Kari whispered to Sakura.

They were moving again.

"Your hair looked good long, but it's way better now!" Sakura complemented Sasuke.

"I had no choice in the matter, being attacked by a homicidal pregnant woman armed with scissors." Sasuke answered trying to keep his bad boy image up, even if he did ask her to cut it.

"We will continue our training, it seems Naruto has surpassed you guys by learning how to walk on water, later though, when we camp near a lake." Kakashi informed Sakura and Sasuke.

_'Why is it that I have a bad feeling about all of this and that an angry Tsunade is the only result?'_ Kari asked herself. **'Maybe because she is going to be pissed after we knock on her door and say "Hey Tsunade-sama are you willing to be Hokage after your lover and brother died trying to get it and Jiraiya's a lazy asshole?"'** _'Good point.'_ Kari stretched her cramping legs and began to feel bad that she was the only one getting a free ride. "Anyone want to ride the frog?" All she got was stares as they continued to walk. Sakura cast a pleading glance at her.

"I do!" Naruto called.

"Next time Naruto. Sakura is starting to not look so good." Kari answered.

"This is part of their training." Kakashi informed.

"Sorry." Soon they entered Otafuku town and were sitting near a shrine and Naruto was amusing himself by ringing the bells.

"Cut that out." Jiraiya ordered as he ate some food, the others except for Itachi and Kakashi were eating as well.

"Hey hey perverted hermit, what kind of student was the Yondaime?" Naruto asked. The others perked up to that question.

"It wouldn't be an overstatement to say he became strong thanks to my tutelage, and since you're going to receive my teaching you're super lucky." Jiraiya muttered so that the others wouldn't hear.

'The dobe needs it.' Sasuke thought to himself though couldn't help but feel jealous, mind he did learn Chidori and Naruto didn't.

"What?" Naruto groaned in a non-believing voice.

"You don't believe me?" Jiraiya asked. "A good teacher raises a good apprentice. That's common sense."

"Then who taught you Jiraiya-sama?" Sakura asked.

"Me? I learned form the third." Jiraiya answered.

"The third?" Sakura and Naruto said at the same time.

"Yes, the third was still young."

"The third? Young?" Sakura and Kari asked.

"Yes, I was young too." Jiraiya answered.

"Young?!" Naruto exclaimed and in his shock he dropped the bells and fell down the stairs and got tangled.

"Look at that, you deserved that. Hehe. Kakashi you trained him yes?"

"Yes I did." Kakashi answered.

"Did you do the bell exercise?"

"Yes we did."

"yeah, I was the one who was tied to a log, that sucked." Naruto groaned.

"But it was for your own good." Kakashi answered.

"Oh? You too?" Jiraiya asked.

"Too? What do you mean "Too?" "Naruto asked.

"Forget it. Get up and put that back." Jiraiya ordered.

"Even if I wanted to I can't…this is tangled on too…" Naruto groaned.

"Dobe…" Sasuke muttered as he and Itachi helped him out of the bell ties. When Naruto was fixing the bells Jiraiya let out a chuckle.

"What?" Sakura asked.

"What's so funny Ero-Sennin?!' Naruto yelled.

"Just that a good teacher raises a good apprentice, okay?" Jiraiya said while going down memory lane.

"I don't understand." Naruto said little question marks forming above his head.

"We're leaving did you fix it?" Itachi asked.

"Yep!" and Naruto gave the bells a jingle "See?"

Pretty soon they were in the village in the middle of a festival. Jiraiya then checked in a couple of room, one for the boys and one for the girls (Kari forced him to do it.) Kari and Itachi left for the festival, and since there was nothing Kakashi could do to train him and secretly he wanted to finish his book, and Naruto was sent to his room and he had to mold some chakra, then he could go to the festivities.

Itachi, Kari, Sasuke and Sakura wandered around and Itachi bought everyone drinks. "This is all I'm buying."

"Thanks." Sakura said and Sasuke and Kari nodded.

* * *

"Is he really serious about training me?" Naruto asked himself.

"Jiraiya isn't one to lie about training someone…most of the time." Kakashi answered.

* * *

Kari was looking at the games and so far the prizes sucked the big one…until she saw a gigantic black dog, and the way the ring toss worked was that it was in an impossible place that only a skilled ninja could throw.

"Hey!" Called the carnie managing the game, for he saw her looking at the prizes. "It's 8 out of 10 throws but since you're really pretty and pregnant I'll make it 4 out of 5 for 30 ryo."

"Oh? Are you expecting children as well?" Kari asked as she paid him.

"Yes, she's around 7 months now." He answered. Kari got one ring on the pole. "So is the father around?"

Kari chuckled "He's probably somewhere having a heart attack since I'm no where in sight. They walked on ahead and didn't know I stopped to look at this game, plus I'm a ninja I can take care of myself." **'Damn straight!'**

"It shows, I've never seen a woman have such good aim."

Kari began to throw another ring but a deep voice spoke by her ear, tickling her neck "So this is where you were…" Kari's ring missed and it landed on a bunch of shuriken.

"Hey! You made me miss!" Kari cried.

"You gave us a heart attack!" Sakura retorted.

"Fair enough but you guys went on ahead before I could've told ya." Kari shrugged "Itachi…could you win me that dog? I'm already halfway there…" Kari asked. Itachi sighed and took the rings from her.

"That's him?" The guy asked.

"Yup!" Kari answered. The man took down the dog and the bag of shuriken.

"Since you rightfully won the dog and in your mistake you also got some shuriken, they only needed one ring." The man explained.

Kari squeezed the dog tight and Sasuke and Sakura split up the shuriken. "It was nice meeting you, hope to see you again." Kari said waving.

"Bye." The man answered. After doing a few more things, Kari began to wobble and her eyes began to droop. Itachi gently caught her from behind.

"I'll take her back to her room." Itachi said. Sasuke nodded and Itachi disappeared with the passed out Kari. They both continued to walk in silence.

"Sasuke, what's it like? Living with them?" Sakura asked quietly.

"There's never a dull moment." Sasuke answered.

Sakura decided to get to the point, "Do you think we can trust them?"

Sasuke looked in her direction "I trust whomever my brother trusts, he obviously trusts Deidara-san and Kisame-san. Right now we're concerned about Akatsuki doing something. Itachi and Kari feel the organisation let them go too easily." Sakura nodded.

"How so?" Sakura asked.

"To leave the Akatsuki means death, so I could only assume that he wanted us to leave all along." Itachi reappeared behind them "Next time before you talk about such matters please go somewhere more private."

"Yes Itachi-sama." Sakura answered.

"Why did he let Kisame go?" Sasuke asked, they poofed to the hotel.

Itachi looked thoughtful "Well if one person quits their partner usually quits as well, forced or by his free will and live in disgrace, the leader also intended to kick me out all along as I joined Akatsuki against his will, even the leader has to answer to someone. And Deidara said that he bought the leader the full first 2 seasons of 'House' and it revoked him as he used his last few months pay to buy it. I don't think he would be a spy, since he is loyal to Kari but he is still suspectable."

Sasuke and Sakura nodded, Jiraiya took that moment to appear "The Akatsuki is a wry one and no one really knows what he's up to, and it's not worth worrying about until he does something, so lets go get some shut eye!" Sakura opened the door to the girls room, Kari was already asleep and Sakura went to sleep as well.

END!!

_I hope that's long enough for ya for now, school is coming up pretty quick and I'm busy and stuff….well please review and hopefully have this updated soon _

_Sakura Sama 101 signing off……_


	28. That old bat!

_Hehe…I took a very long leave of absence…but yah…I'm back now…I just had to get off my ass and watch Naruto or at least the ones that I recorded. And before you read it I do take some dialogue off the show, only because it's necessary for the story to make sense so there…don't bitch to me about that. I'm only doing it until I'm not dependant on the show anymore. So yeah…sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry!_

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"_A computer once beat me at chess but it was no match for me at kickboxing." Emo Phillips_

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'_thoughts…' _

Jutsu Words that need emphasis Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto 

Kari woke up at cockcrow that morning. Sakura rolled over in the other bed. Kari walked over to the small bathroom and began to run the water. _'I wonder how Kisame and Deidara are holding down the for…' _Visions of blood spatter everywhere and Kisame standing victoriously over Deidara's body entered her mind. _'Or Deidara blew the house up.'_ She stepped in the tub and submerged herself in the water.

Sakura woke up halfway through Kari's bath. She stretched and kicked the covers off, then got off and picked out her clothes. Kari got out of the tub and dried herself off and got dressed. "Sakura-chan! The bathroom's free!" Kari then ran the water for Sakura's bath and stepped out of the bathroom.

"Ok." Sakura went in, and no sooner did she shut the door to the bathroom someone was knocking on the other door. Kari peeked through the peephole to see that it was Jiraiya.

She sighed as she opened the door. "Yes?"

"Are you two almost ready?" Jiraiya asked.

"No. Why?" Kari asked.

"Kay good cause we've all just woken up…Can I use your washroom?"

"No! Goodbye Jiraiya!" Kari shut the door as Jiraiya laughed.

Sakura poked her head out "Who was that?"

"The perv." Kari sighed. Sakura went back in the bathroom and Kari turned on the TV. 10 minutes later Sakura came out ready to go. Kari grabbed her bag and ran to the phone. She dialled the room number the boys were in and Sasuke answered "Seven minutes…" then hung up.

* * *

"What does she mean 7 minutes?!" Naruto asked putting on his shirt.

"She's probably going to come in 7 minutes, she was already dressed when I went to check up on them." Jiraiya answered.

Kari was munching on a granola bar while packing the remainder of her stuff. "Are you still after Sasuke?" Kari joked.

Sakura went a little red, "I…I don't stalk him or ask him out as much anymore…I-I'm starting to feel more and more attracted to Naruto…it kind of makes me confused because I still like Sasuke…"

Kari smiled "Follow your heart, if we hurry we might get to see them shirtless, maybe even pantless!"

Sakura went scarlet but retorted "You're just hoping you can see Itachi like that!"

"Maybe I am!" Kari giggled as they walked down the hall. Sakura laughed. They knocked on the door and were let in unfortunately they were all dressed much to their dismay. They soon were back on the road and out of the village.

Kari was looking around on her perch that was the frog. She was unsuccessfully trying to drown out Naruto and Sasuke's arguing. She felt idiotic for fainting the day before. _'But I guess it can't be helped.'_ Kari glumly thought. Sakura began to join in with the boys.

"Stop it now." Kakashi ordered in his laid back tone.

Jiraiya walked over to Kari on the frog "We're nearing border town."

"Alright." Kari answered. They continued to walk. They were a little ways from the border town and Kakashi spotted a lake.

"Well, are you going to talk with her today?" Kakashi asked.

"No, we'll stop for today." Jiraiya answered. Kari hopped off the frog and began to stretch. Kakashi took Sasuke and Sakura to the lake.

"Today and while the others try to get Tsunade, we are going to learn how to walk on water for I have heard that Naruto has already learned it."

Kari looked around to see that Jiraiya was already off training Naruto on the Rasengan.

"This is a really good exercise because like the tree walk it helps with your chakra control. But the key is to let it off at different rates, you'll see what I mean what I mean later." Kakashi summoned chakra to his feet and began to walk out on the water. He turned around to face them "Once you two can stand on the water for around 2 minutes then I'll tell you the next step." Kakashi got off the water. Sasuke and Sakura summoned chakra to their feet and began to walk out on the water, not even 5 seconds later they both fell into the water.

Kari was pulling out a piece of paper. She began to concentrate and it began to fold into a frog. "Hehe, I still got it." They continued to watch Sasuke and Sakura and not too much later Naruto came back with Jiraiya. Naruto immediately sat down and began training with his rubber ball (He did the water balloon while he was molding chakra, sorry but I missed that part of the show.) after 3 hours Kakashi called a break. Sakura and Sasuke could now stand on the water for close to a minute and Kari could hear Naruto straining to make the rubber burst. He made little progress. After a quick supper everyone began training again. Kari fell asleep and they were still at it.

The net morning Jiraiya informed then that they were going to go into town and check it out.

"We'll stay here and train." Kakashi informed them gesturing to Sakura and Sasuke.

It was pretty quick, they searched the town and they couldn't find her anywhere but they got information from an angry villager who owned the local bar/casino saying she just left town after destroying his tavern. They went back to the others, a little put out but still determined to find her. They spent the night in the clearing and were off at daybreak.

"Gah! Why the hell do we have to get up this early?" Naruto moaned rubbing his hands though his spiky hair. Sakura and Kari also looked pretty mutinous and tired. They began to head for the next town, for according to the barman she left the day before.

Kari and Sakura were chatting the whole time, to one completely random topic to another. It only took 4 hours to get to the next town.

"Lets go get us a room." Jiraiya offered. After getting a room Kakashi took Sasuke and Sakura out to train. The other 4 began to look in every bar and casino in town.

"It's been about 5 hours now and we've looked everywhere!" Kari moaned. "Why don't we go back to the hotel?" Naruto was enthusiastically nodding his head.

Jiraiya heaved a sigh and looked at the busy stores in front of him, "Fine…" _'I could do with a drink anyway…' _They trooped back to the hotel. It was fairly large, with a home away from home feeling to it, though through them not noticing, there was a tavern nextdoor "Lets get something to eat eh?" Jiraiya pointed eagerly at the bar.

Naruto began to freak out "Hello! Pervy sage! It's a **tavern!**"

"Yeah, your point?" Jiraiya asked.

"Are you trying to be a bad influence on me? Hello! I'm underage and Kari's pregnant to boot!" Naruto hollered. Kari sweatdropped.

"You idiot, no one is going to make anyone do anything, just have a snack and stay out of the adults way." Jiraiya answered.

"Umm actually…I'm not very hungry…and I'm really tired…so I'm just gonna go to bed…" Kari said turning around.

"Should I go with you?" Itachi asked.

Kari shook her head, "Nah it's okay, besides there needs to be one **responsible** person in the group." She muttered the last part and waved to them and went into the hotel.

The others entered the tavern. Jiraiya began to look for a booth. His eyes caught a very beautiful but **very** familiar blonde in a booth at the end of the tavern. _'Did I screw her before? No…I didn't…where do I remember her from??' _He began to squint into her eyes.

Meanwhile the blonde was also looking at Jiraiya _'Where have I seen that old coot before…do I owe him money? He sure is familiar though…'_

"TSUNADE!!" Jiraiya roared and pointed scaring Naruto and making Itachi do a small twitch/jump.

"JIRAIYA!?" Tsunade yelled and stood up. The three guys looked in the direction her voice was coming from "Wha…what are you doing here?!"

"Finally, I've been looking everywhere for you. Should have know you'd be in a place like this…" Jiraiya muttered and began to make his way to the booth.

Itachi slowly followed, _'So…this is the legendary slug sannin.' _

Naruto however starred, shocked at his discovery _'That's Tsunade?! Yeah old lady my ass Ero-sennin.' _

They were all seated at the booth, _"So…this is Jiraiya of the Sannin, and that other boy is Uchiha Itachi…I wonder…are the rumours true?' _Shizune anxiously thought.

Tsunade downed her shot of sake, "So…why have you been looking for me Jiraiya?" She pulled out a deck of cards from her shirt and began to play with the cards.

"I'll cut right to the chase." Jiraiya began as Tsunade set the cards on the table. Jiraiya picked them up and began to shuffle the cards. "Tsunade, in Konohagakure's wisdom, the village elders have come to the unanimous decision to name you as the fifth Hokage.

Naruto began to choke on his fish, Shizune gasped and Tsunade froze then began to deal the cards, Itachi simply tapped Naruto on the back and he swallowed the chunk of fish in his throat. Jiraiya picked up his cards and looked at them "You've heard about the Sandaime."

Shizune bowed her head, _'The Sandaime, so it is true…'_

Tsunade picked up her cards and looked at them, "It was Orochimaru's doing right? I've heard about it. I also heard that nuke-nin Uchiha Itachi finished him off?" she cast Itachi a glance.

"Hai." Itachi answered.

'_Orochimaru's doing?' _Naruto thought to himself.

'_Here we go…' _Itachi thought as he grabbed his last stick of dango.

"Hold on a second, you're saying he's the one who killed old man Hokage? Who is this Orochimaru guy?"

"He was a sannin, like Tsunade and yours truly." Jiraiya answered.

"But why? The sannin are all supposed to be from the leaf village so why'd he do it?" Naruto asked.

"Who's the brat?" Tsunade asked while casting an annoyed glance.

Jiraiya chuckled, "This is Uzumaki Naruto."

'_This kid is the Kyuubi container?' _Tsunade asked herself.

The 2 elders continued their card game. Jiraiya ditched 3 cards and picked up 3. "I'll say it once more. Konohagakure has made it's choice, they want you to be the Godaime. So what's it going to be?" Tsunade remained silent "Do you accept it Tsunade?" Tsunade closed her eyes and pondered the question. She didn't want to go back, the memories of the two people she loved the most still haunted the darkest corners of her mind, then there was the fact that they were asking her to be Hokage, the thing that those two wanted to be the most.

'_How could I take that away from them?' _She asked herself miserably but then, if she was Hokage she could get rid of all her gambling debts and have a permanent place to live, but then she'd have to run an entire village.

"I'm waiting…" Jiraiya commented. Tsunade opened her eyes. "What say you?"

"Arrrggghh! I don't understand any of this!" Naruto wailed, a sharp tap from Itachi shut him up.

"I'll think about it…" Tsunade answered. She threw away all her cards.

"As long as you'll consider." Jiraiya muttered.

"Grr! Can someone please tell me what's going on?!" Naruto asked.

"It's not something an underage gennin can understand." Jiraiya answered.

"Hmm…it seems like your judgement is failing Jiraiya…this apprentice is nothing like your last one, he's a fool with a large mouth, weird looking to." Tsunade commented.

"Oh yeah?! Lets hear you say that when I bash your face in!" Naruto roared, Itachi grabbed his jacket collar to keep him jumping over the table. When he settled down Itachi let go.

"To be honest and fair it'd be hard to live up to that standard. The Yondaime showed every sign of being the greatest Ninja in a couple of generations, full of talent; he was a natural, charismatic and nearly as sexy as his teacher." Jiraiya bragged.

"Sure he had all those things going for him but they didn't save him from an early death." Tsunade commented, her feelings were taking over. She had an ace and a jack of hearts. "To carelessly toss his life away? All for the sake of the village. Money is one thing, a life is in a level all on its own. To risk your life against all the odds is a sucker's bet."

'_A sucker's bet?!' _Naruto thought angrily. His chopsticks snapped.

Itachi could see her point but still couldn't help being angry for Naruto's sake.

"All the Hokages have come and gone, they were willing to die for the village and Konohagakure is no safer than it ever was." Tsunade added. She then got a queen of hearts.

"You've changed Tsunade, I don't know what happened to make you the way you are now but to say those things in public?" Jiraiya asked.

Tsunade chuckled "You know I'm not as young as I look, the years have taught me a great deal." A 10 of hearts was revealed. "Sarutobi-sensei too, what was he trying to prove trying to be the hero at his age?"

Jiraiya's look changed to slight anger and Naruto was shaking with rage, even Itachi was rattled, the only thing that would have indicated it though was that his eyes were narrowed. A 4 of spades ruined her royal flush. She sighed. "Playing the Hokage…count me out…it's a fools game." Her bitterness couldn't be stopped _'I can't go back there…I can't be hokage…I despise Hokage, it took everything I had.' _

"THAT'S ENOUGH!!" Naruto launched himself across the table. Itachi and Jiraiya both grabbed Naruto by the upper arms. "Let me go! Let me at her! Get off of me and let me go!" Naruto roared

"People are looking." Was Jiraiya's response.

"Lady Tsunade…" Shizune whispered.

"I won't let her sit there and ridicule the old man! I don't care if she is a lady!" He punched his hand "I'll wipe that stupid grin right off her smug face!"

Tsunade got to his level with astonishing speed. "Is that a challenge? You've got guts if nothing else, lets take this outside."

"No, No!" Shizune moaned.

Jiraiya had a bored look on his face _'I hope they make enough noise to wake Kari up…then she can smack the shit out of both of them…' _

Itachi was thinking the same thing so he didn't step in.

Soon they were all outside. "One of the legendary sannin taking on a wet behind the ears genin…I should be ashamed of myself." She held up one finger, "I'll only need one finger to take you down."

"Lady Tsunade…don't!" Shizune pleaded.

"So? What are you waiting for?" Tsunade ignored Shizune.

"Don't you ever underestimate me!" Naruto roared, he dashed forward and threw some shuriken, Tsunade moved her head out of the way. Naruto grabbed his kunai and Tsunade put her finger through the hole and took it away from him, she then used her thumb with the upward motion of her hand to knock Naruto down along with knocking off his headband. She then twacked Naruto with her finger and sent him flying.

"A flick to the forehead?! I'll show her…" Naruto muttered, then his kunai and his headband fell in front of him.

"Hey kid, one question before you lose consciousness, why is Hokage such a sore topic for you?"

"It's because it's my goal! Someday I will be Hokage, remember this, to be Hokage that is my dream!"

Tsunade froze, images of her brother and Dan flashed through her eyes.

"That boy…" Shizune muttered. Tsunade dropped her head.

'_Her guard's down! I can't take her head but maybe I can use that jutsu!' _Naruto thought. _'Focus!' _Naruto concentrated and the Rasengan formed, he managed to finally create it that morning. He lunged at Tsunade.

'_What…that jutsu!' _Tsunade frantically thought. She quickly created a fissure with her finger, Naruto tripped and when the Rasengan hit the ground he was propelled backwards _'Whoa…I never would have expected the Yondaime's jutsu. Still it's not like the real thing, coming from this pipsqueak.' _

"SHUT UP OUT THERE!" someone yelled (I'll let you guess…)

Naruto began to climb out of the hole, Shizune began to tend to him, "Naruto are you okay?"

"Jiraiya are you the one who taught this brat the Rasengan?" Tsunade asked.

"Well duh I'm his teacher aren't I?" Jiraiya answered.

"Well then what's the point of teacher it to someone who will never master it? You simpleton, giving him fool's hope and stupid ideas and making him think he actually has what it takes to be Hokage someday." Tsunade commented.

"I'll show you who's stupid, you wait, give me 3 days and I'll have that jutsu down like a bad habit!" Naruto retorted.

Itachi was counting down from 60 in his head.

"Watch what you say, or I might just hold you to it." Tsunade said.

"I never go back on my word, that's my nindo!"

"Well then, want to make a wager? I'll give you 7 days, if you can get it down in one week I'll admit I'm wrong and say that you are good enough to be Hokage. I'll even throw in my necklace."

Shizune stood up "No! No! You don't really mean that!"

"You can have it, jewellery's not my thing." Naruto answered.

'_40, 39, 38, 37,36…'_ Itachi continued. Jiraiya already explained the necklace.

"Lady you got yourself a bet." Naruto answered.

"Alright, but if you don't master it in time I'll keep the money and froggy!" Tsunade finished holding Naruto's wallet.

"Gah! Not gama!" He quickly searched himself.

Shizune marched over "Tsunade-sama what are you doing!? How could you gamble with the necklace?!"

"He hasn't even the slightest chance of winning. Lets go Shizune." Tsunade began to walk away.

'_5,4,3,2,1…' _Itachi finished.

"FOR THE LOVE OF CHRIST!! PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO SLEEP HERE!! TAKE IT INSIDE!" The hotel door slammed open and Kari in her pissed off glory walked out in a teddy bear nightgown.

Jiraiya and Naruto were trying to keep down their laughter, which came out in little snorts.

Tsunade turned around _'That voice…' _She walked back.

"You guys could have kept it down for cryin out loud! I had finally gotten to sleep, Itachi you could have tried to tune them in!"

Itachi just pointed his finger, "She started it."

"Kari?" Tsunade asked.

"Tsunade?" Kari questioned "Shizune?"

"It is you! Wow you've gotten fat! Slim not so fast?"

"Er…it's a long story…" Kari muttered, "Lets go inside." They did. The guys went into their room and Kari, Tsunade and Shizune went into the girls room. Sakura looked up when they entered.

"Wha…?" Sakura began to ask.

"This is Tsunade-sama and Shizune-chan." Kari introduced them.

"Hajimemashte." Sakura greeted.

"Guys this is Haruno Sakura."

"Hajimemashte." They all sat on one bed and Kari quickly explained all that had happened in one hour.

Tsunade placed a hand on Kari's stomach and smiled, "I don't know whether I should hug you or should smack you."

"Think of it this way….I never would have found you if I didn't do those things." Kari answered.

"True enough." Tsunade sighed.

"I'm just going to go check up on Naruto." Shizune said then left. She began walking to Naruto's door, then knocked.

"Yeah yeah I'm coming!" Naruto opened the door to see Shizune.

"I know it's late, and I'm sorry but we have to talk." Shizune said.

"Aww man…I want to get a goodnights sleep so I can start training tomorrow." Naruto answered.

"That's just in, before you get into this I have to tell you something, something about that necklace and Tsunade-sama."

* * *

"Well I better get going…" Tsunade said sadly.

Kari noticed her tone, something she didn't want to hear from Tsunade. Sakura fell asleep long ago and Itachi, Kakashi and Jiraiya went back to the tavern. Maybe she would go see what Tsunade is up to.

* * *

"Hmph, like I care about that old goat." Naruto answered.

"Don't say that! She's not the kind of person you think she is! You don't know anything about her!" Shizune yelled before she could stop herself. Sasuke stirred in his sleep.

"S-Sory for shouting, please forgive me. Tsunade-sama wasn't always...like that, she always used to be kind and dedicated to the village but she's changed. But since that day…" Shizune trailed off.

"What day was that? What happened?" Naruto asked.

"The day when she lost everything, dreams, hopes all she had." She had nothing left except the necklace and its memories. Please understand that that necklace is her most valued possession, not a piece of jewellery to be gambled away on a stupid bet."

"A wager's a wager. Besides, she suggested it, not me alright?!"

"You'll be sorry! If you think you can wear it like a trophy you're wrong! It's not an ordinary necklace; it won't accept anyone else wearing it. Only with Tsunade-sama will it be safe. If anyone else puts it on they die."

* * *

Kari got on a jacket and began to wonder around the town. It was fairly quiet, only a couple of taverns were open. After grabbing a small bite to eat she decided to go to the local shrine to pray. While passing under a tori gate she heard quiet sobs and felt a drop of water land on the tip of her nose. She looked up to see Tsunade hugging herself and crying. Kari focused chakra to her feet and jumped to where Tsunade was, Tsunade looked up and Kari gave her a hug. Tsunade hugged her back and they stayed like that hugging eachother and crying.

* * *

"So you see Naruto, that was the day. It changed her a lot and she's been in torment ever since." Shizune explained the story. Naruto walked by her without a word "Where are you going?"

"Out, I need to train." Naruto answered.

* * *

"Tsunade?" Kari asked.

"Mmm…" Tsunade answered muffled by Kari's shoulder.

"Did Jiraiya say anything about….Godaime?" Kari braced herself.

Tsunade looked up, "Yes."

"And?"

"I can't." Tsunade answered.

Kari sighed "It must be hard for you. I could never imagine what it would feel like to lose the 2 people I care about most but…even if you don't want to become Hokage…would you please come back with us? It would be stupid to have a wedding but not have a maid of honour…"

"I will…I promise…and I'll think about being Godaime." Tsunade muttered then sniffed "What are you doing out here?!"

"You didn't realize it was me?" Kari asked.

"No." Tsunade answered, "We're going back to your room!"

"…." Kari sighed as he got dragged back.

END!!! 

_Well that ends this chapter, I hope that it's length makes up for my more than late update well yah I hope that everyone hasn't lost interest in this just yet and is happy that I updated, please review please! I'll have the next chapter up soon as I've already began writing it _

_Sakura Sama 101 signing off. _


	29. Homecoming

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Hey there! Sorry about not updating in so long but I had to get a laptop and in order to get that I had to get a job, then there was the process of programming my laptop then my personal life got in the way so that kind of set me back with my depression and all but I'm back and hopefully better than before so please enjoy this chapter

_Italics are thoughts_

**Bold is Jutsu**

**Underlined bold are things that need emphasis**

_**And italic bold is inner Kari**_

* * *

"_All the things I really like are immoral, illegal or fattening." –Alexander Woollcroft_

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_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto but I wish I owned Itachi _

_Chapter 29_

_Homecoming_

Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura and Kakashi were training near a small pond with a small brook feeding into it. Naruto tried the Rasengan again and began to pant heavily.

"Naruto…you should take a break." Sakura said while standing on the water.

"I…can't." Naruto responded.

"Naruto take 30 minutes then try again, you need to give your body a break." Kakashi ordered. Naruto grudgingly listened. "Well now that you can stand on the water, try to spar."

"Yes sir." Both genin responded.

* * *

Tsunade and Shizune were sitting at a vendor when Jiraiya walked in. "I knew I'd find you here."

"Get lost." Tsunade muttered.

"Now now no reason to be cold, I know you're happy to see me." Jiraiya answered.

"Master Jiraiya." Shizune greeted him.

"Shizune." He nodded. "Do you mind leaving the two of us alone for a bit? It's been a while since we've sat down together."

Shizune nodded and left, _'I think I'll go see Kari.'_ And she continued walking.

"Well, I have to say I'm surprised that you still have that necklace after all these years, I thought you would have gambled it a long time ago. But I guess it's all you have to remember them by." Jiraiya paused, "Is he on your mind?"

"What do you mean?" Tsunade asked.

"Naruto."

"Not really."

"I dunno, taking on a kid like that, he probably won't be able to master that jutsu in a week and you know it. Not much of a wager." Jiraiya said, "I only have one more thing to say. Just remember the Hokage before us and all they've done for Konohagakure, it's only thanks to them that the village is the way. They dreamed for the village to prosper, and to try and achieve that dream they died for it. The village needs you Tsunade, will you let that dream die and make their sacrifices meaningless? I'm only saying this, could you do such a thing?"

"It has nothing to do with me anymore." Tsunade simply replied.

"To feel nothing when those closest to him die is no different than a butcher. I **know** you aren't like that. No one cared more about Konohagakure more deeply. I remember that morning-"

"Okay! Enough with the lecture!!" Tsunade snapped. "That damn kid! And Kari…why did you have to bring them here?"

"Kari came here by her own free will, as soon as I said your name there was no stopping her."

"But why that kid?!" Tsunade moaned.

"Hmm they're quite similar; they must be close to the same age."

"It's not jus that…" Tsunade said as a memory entered her mind, "they're more alike than you realize."

* * *

Naruto was panting by a tree, "No way…I'm completely out of gas!" he panted.

"Dobe…" Sasuke muttered walking up to him. "Can you walk?"

"Sasuke-teme if I could I'd run over there and beat your face in!" Naruto hollered.

"Then I guess I'm leaving you here then."

"Wait! I'm sorry!"

"Tsk." He began to help Naruto back. No sooner did they close the door to their room they both fell asleep on the floor. Kakashi made sure to take a picture for his scrap book and to show Itachi.

* * *

Tsunade was playing at the slots as everything everyone said went through her mind. She was thinking it over carefully but didn't make a decision. She spent the day going from casino to casino until about 7:00 pm. She then went to see how Naruto was doing. After he collapsed she went to another casino.

Naruto trained and trained until finally he collapsed. Shizune was informed of Naruto's position by Tsunade and was ordered to bring him back to the hotel. Shizune bright him to his room and began to clean him up. Sakura walked in and immediately began to freak out.

"Argh that Naruto! Always overworking himself and doing himself injury! God he can be so stupid!" Sakura began.

"Hmm…" Shizune muttered.

Tsunade came in half an hour later.

"How is he doing?" Tsunade asked.

"He passed out from exhaustion; his right hand is severely burned by concentrated chakra." Shizune answered.

"He's out of it, he probably won't wake up for 2 days at the earliest. Well…Jiraiya was right about me, to think I've stooped so low to bet against a kid…hah! What am I getting so torn up about, it's his problem not mine." Tsunade sighed.

Shizune remained silent; there was a knock on the door so she went to answer it. Itachi was on the other side and he was quickly let in. "Thanks." Itachi said to Shizune, he went to the bathroom and shut the door. The women all left.

Tsunade went back on the balcony to brood with her thoughts. _'Godaime huh?' _She shifted her position, she was aware of the Akatsuki and their goals and how Konohagakure would be in danger. _'I would rather be the one thing I despise and protect what meant so much to those two then let some simpleton control Konoha and let it fall…but do I…really despise Hokage? I love the village…and Hokage never took anything away…Dan…and Noaki wanted to be Hokage but maybe I can live their dream for them.' "_Alright…Jiraiya…you win." She whispered softly.

"Tsunade-sama…" Kari asked opening the balcony door so that she could step outside.

"I'll do it."

"Huh? Oh! Really?!" Kari asked walking over.

"Yeah." Tsunade smiled.

"Great!" Kari cheered, "Better you than some numbskull like Jiraiya."

"Yeah…" Tsunade agreed, Kari had a big grin on her face.

"Well then we'll leave tomorrow after your bet with Naruto." Kari said walking back inside. Tsunade followed her in.

* * *

Shizune was standing over Naruto and removed the bandages on his face and his right hand. Naruto began to toss and turn and moan in his sleep. Shizune stepped back in confusion and to top it off Naruto shot up out of the bed roaring, "THAT'S IT!!"

"Dobe…" Sasuke muttered. Naruto bounded out of bed and thwacked Sasuke then did a super hero pose on his bed.

"It's time…to get gama back…" Naruto said seriously before getting football tackled by Sasuke. Shizune was beside herself in laughter and only half-heartedly tried to separate them. (AN: haha I modified a line from one of my ex's videos. It was about where his friend gets kidnapped and he has to save him, if you have time…search up "A Heigh Kidnap" on youtube see what you get :D)

Kakashi stepped in, "Guys…" and they both stopped…as if by magic!

"Oi Shizune-san!?" Naruto asked "Where's the old hag?"

"She's waiting for you where you were training. So…does this mean you've got the jutsu down?" She asked.

Naruto sweat-dropped but quickly said, "Er…no but I have a plan I never tried yet so I'm just going to wing it and hope that it works."

Shizune giggled, "Well good luck to you Naruto."

"Yeap! Thanks!" and Naruto was out the door. Shizune left with Kari, Sasuke and Itachi after Naruto. They all made it into the clearing Kakashi was helping Sakura with the finer points of their training.

"So kid, you gonna wow me with your skill?" Tsunade yawned.

"You betcha granny Tsunade!" Naruto answered pushing all his doubts to the back of his mind. He formed the shadow clone sign and formed one clone. The others watched this in their confusion. Naruto's clone then began to mold Naruto's chakra to the rasengan, when it was large enough he unleashed it into the only tree left standing. It broke the tree from its trunk and the tree flew in the air rotating it until it smacked into the mountain wall. There was silence; even Naruto was amazed that it worked.

'_Wow I never would have expected him to get that far, now the only thing left that he has to master is keeping the chakra in his hand without the assistance of a clone.'_ Tsunade thought while undoing her necklace. "Naruto." Tsunade called.

"Huh? What is it old lady?" Naruto answered.

An anger mark appeared on Tsunade's head as she tried to ignore the comment. "You know…you might actually have what it takes to be a half decent Hokage. I lost my bet…so here's my necklace, take care of it." She clipped it on his neck. "And if you call me old one more time I swear that the necklace will kill you.

Naruto chuckled weakly as he fingered the gem.

"Well…shall we go?" Kakashi asked.

"Yes." Tsunade answered. They were soon on heir way. It was a quiet trip until…

"Naruto! You're so gross!" Sakura screeched.

Naruto looked around confused "What? How am I gross?!" he grimaced "THAT WAS NOT ME!"

"What are you talk-god that's nasty!" Kari yelled holding her nose.

Jiraiya meanwhile just laughed since he was in the rear and was out of danger.

Kakasi was skeptical and was replaying the whole scenario in his head. I don't know why but that was what he was doing. So far his analysis told him that the fart smelled like it came from someone who ate fairly healthy, this ruled out Naruto cause all the kid ate was ramen.

Where Kakashi was speculating Itachi knew the answer. After living with the kid for 8 years he knew Sasuke's brand fairly well (not that he intentionally smelt his brother's farts but if you have a sibling you'll know what I'm talking about.)

'_I won't rat you out this time but next time you won't be so lucky…' _Itachi thought to himself.

Sasuke was a really good actor so he just didn't say anything and walked on with a grimace on his face.

Tsunade in her old age lost her sense of smell in that moment so she lucked out. Shizune was too far away with Jiraiya.

Pretty soon they were entering a village, it was fairly close to nightfall and there was a report of renegade bandits in the area so they didn't risk going out.

"Aww come on! We can take on a bunch of bandits!" Naruto cried in exasperation.

"We probably could, but it wouldn't be a good idea considering our group, there's lots of room for error." Kakashi answered.

"This old man's beat, you may be young but I'm getting stiff and arthritic." Jiraiya commented.

"Arthritic my ass…" Kari snickered.

"Alright, but the point is I'm beat…" Jiraiya laughed.

"Hey hey! I just thought of something! If you live to be 105 at least you won't have peer pressure." Naruto randomly spouted out.

There was silence then…

"Oh! I get it! Haha that's greatness!" Kari continued to laugh.

There was more silence…

"I'm going to the casino…" Tsunade muttered.

"Tsunade! All that's left is your life savings!" Shizune cried.

"Screw life savings! Once I'm Hokage I'll be making and have 10 000x more than what's in there!" Tsunade yelled back then quickly ran off into the casino giggling like a 5 year old.

"Some things never change…" Jiraiya sighed.

"Sakura! Come! A hot bath awaits! Shizune you too!" Shizune and Sakura were dragged away.

That just left Jiraiya, Kakashi, Itachi, Naruto and Sasuke.

"Hmm…lets find a tavern!" Jiraiya suggested.

Kakashi never looked up from his book "I second that motion!" his voice reeked of enthusiasm.

Itachi just glanced at Naruto and Sasuke then shrugged his shoulders….very slightly "I suppose."

"Yeah!" Naruto shouted "FOOD!" Sasuke remained silent, so off they went in search of a tavern. After searching for a long time for a tavern that didn't have strippers they finally found one, it served alcohol but it wasn't like they were going to go sit up at the bar and order Sasuke and Naruto drinks. They ordered some food and a round of sake. It was silent while they enjoyed their meal.

"So…who's paying?" Jiraiya asked slyly. Everyone remained silent.

"My, for being a Sannin you should have quite a fortune; tell me…did you spend it all on women and sake? It'd be quite typical of you Jiraiya-sama." Itachi commented.

"I did not spend it all on women and booze and to prove it I'll pay!" Jiraiya yelled.

Sasuke looked at Itachi with a gleam of adoration in his eye; Itachi had always been the master of mind games.

"Sure you did Ero-Sannin!" Naruto cried out.

"Naruto…you're lucky you're my student…of sorts…and you're lucky you're an Uchiha and that you're marrying my niece." Jiraiya muttered "Or else I'd beat you both then make you pay."

"What time is it?" Sasuke asked to change the subject.

"10:30." Kakashi answered.

"30 more minutes!" Naruto pleaded.

"I'm not finished…" Sasuke added.

Meanwhile…

The three girls were submerged in hot water and laid there enjoying the water. Soon Sakura began to wash herself, same with Shizune. Kari just laid there and never moved.

"Do you think she's dead?" Sakura asked.

"Let's prod her with a loofa on a stick!" Shizune said excitedly. So they got a loofa on a stick and began to prod Kari. She moaned a little bit. They started on her neck where she just swatted it away.

"No…not tonight…please Itachi…I'm too tired…" Kari muttered.

Sakura and Shizune were failing miserably at keeping in their laughter. Kari began to stir and slowly began to open her eyes.

"Sakura-chan, Shizune-chan…why are you guys looking so evil and holding a loofa on a stick?" Kari asked drowsily.

Shizune began to scrub herself with the loofa and Sakura put on a motherly face, "You fell asleep, you were probably just dreaming, come on and get washed so we can hopefully be asleep when the guys come back." Sakura led Kari out of the deeper water. Soon they finished bathing and were fooling around in the water. Soon they finished bathing and were fooling around in the water.

"How much money do you think Tsunade's gambled away?" Sakura asked while lazily floating around in the water.

Kari and Shizune glanced at eachother "All the money she has." They answered at the same time.

"It's kind of a waste, gambling, it's all based on luck and probability and it's rare when you get the right odds at the right time." Sakura mused.

"It's an adult thing…what some crazy adults do…they can't help themselves." Kari commented.

"Um…I'm sorry to interrupt but…we close in 15 minutes so…could you please finish up?" the male attendant asked.

"EEK!" Sakura cried and ducked underwater.

Kari turned to face the man, her chest showing in its glory "Of course, it would help if you got out so we could change." She said. The guy quickly ran out. "Jackass."

They all changed quickly lest the pervy man return. They left the bath house and went back to the hotel.

And then…

After talking about Ninjutsu, Taijutsu, Genjutsu, ninjas they've killed, hot babes they've seen, and exciting missions did they realize it was 11:30.

"Oh damn it! Time flies when you're having fun…" Jiraiya commented.

Itachi and Sasuke were already out of the tavern. The others followed, Kakashi bringing up the rear reading his book.

Luckily for them Tsunade had checked into the hotel, but checked into a group room because it would be cheaper, unfortunately…

"It's kind of small…" Sakura commented.

"If we all scrunched up we'd probably be able to fit…" Shizune commented.

"Well…once everyone gets here we'll probably be able to see how we will be able to fit everyone into the room. Tsunade came in, her facial expression was blank as she sat herself in the middle of the room.

"Tsunade-sama…don't you think this room is a bit small?" Kari asked.

"It's the biggest one they had. I think with some organizing we can fit everyone in." Tsunade said in an airy tone.

"Well I'll just set up in the corner…" Kari yawned, very wiped out from the day.

It wasn't that much later when the guys came back, "Hmm…" Kakashi pondered, "Team 7 and I take one corner." And they began to set up. Jiraiya took one corner below team 7 but because of his effects he took up half the room. Tsunade took the last corner. This left Shizune and Itachi.

"You can have the middle." Itachi whispered and inclined his head to her as he made for the small, very uncomfortable space in between Kari and Sasuke.

Shizune quickly set up and went to sleep. None of them rally woke up until noon, which was really surprising, but it didn't matter because they'd be in Konohagakure sometime that evening.

It was a pretty silent walk even with 9 people and one pig. Everyone had their own things to think about. They only stopped twice for lunch and a rest period.

"We just made it…" Jiraiya showed them all the food packs were empty.

"Wow, yeah." Naruto answered.

"Nature would have plenty to offer in emergency, mosses, berries, birds, squirrels, bunnies, if we're lucky a deer…" Kari rambled.

Sakura looked horrified, "Bunny rabbits and squirrels?! That's so cruel!"

"Well…when its life or starve to death…them squirrels start to look mighty tasty…" Kari's eyes fogged over and Itachi smirked at a far off memory.

"One day you'll be in that situation, whether you like it or not." Kakashi advised his student.

"I wonder if you could transform a squirrel into ramen?" Naruto pondered.

The others decided to ignore the comment except…for…

"Probably the looks, not taste." Sasuke answered

"Then I shall find a way to make a squirrel taste like ramen!" Naruto made his vow.

"You know what I feel like having? Gyouza." Kari commented.

"Yes." Itachi answered.

"I can see the gates." Shizune informed.

"I wonder how Kisame and Deidara have been doing…" Kari pondered.

"We'll probably be living in a cardboard box, maybe a crate if we're lucky." Sasuke answered.

"There's another 15 minutes before we're at the gates." Jiraiya called.

Everyone was fairly silent the rest of the way, their own problems and thoughts floating around in their heads. When they approached the gates the watchmen bowed their heads. When they entered the village the elders Kohaku and Homura were waiting in the town square.

'_Have they been standing there the whole time?' _Kari asked herself. _**'Probably…'**_ those two gave both sides of Kari the creeps.

"Well me and Shizune are with them, see you around." Tsunade and Shizune left. The remaining people continued walking.

"Sakura and I have to go this way. Training is in 3 days." After exchanging goodbyes the remaining people continued on their way. Naruto went to his apartment and Jiraiya retreated to the springs leaving Itachi, Sasuke and Kari to the Uchiha district. Luck was on their side as their house appeared to be in one piece. Itachi knocked on the door and an overjoyed Kisame answered it followed by an extremely happy Deidara.

"Thank the heavens your back! I don't know what I would have done if I would have had to wait another day!" Kisame cried, tears of happiness flowed from his face.

Deidara meanwhile almost took out Kari with a bone breaking hug. "Kari-chan! I'm so glad you're back un! Kisame was so mean to me! He beat me up and touched my no-no parts un! And made me do his share of his chores un!"

Kari just rolled her eyes when Deidara wasn't looking and walked into the house to find it clean…in fact it was a little too clean, which meant that something definitely happened, _'But…as long as everything was in better condition when it started I have no problems with it.'_

Sasuke sighed not knowing how to take this.

Pretty soon they all collapsed from the exhaustion that the past week brought.

_END!!_

_Sorry about not updating for so long, I have way less time then I did 2 years ago…now I got a job and stuff so I get worn out and stuff, I find myself sleeping a lot :') but yeah I'm trying to update as much as possible well anywayz please review it'd be appreciated I'll try to update soon _

_Sakura Sama 101 signing off. _


	30. Filler chapter 5

_Hey I'm back haha here's another filler chapter for ya, I had these written a long time ago it was trying to find the time to type them that was the problem. Well anywayz enjoy xD_

_Italics thoughts_

**Bold Jutsu**

**Bold underline things that need emphasis**

_**Bold italic inner Kari**_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto but I wish I owned a man to be my bitch haha! Bet no one's typed that before. _

Sasuke's First Word

Sasuke was turning one in a couple of days and Itachi was 6. Mikoto and Fugaku were planning to take everyone out for dinner on that special day. Mikoto put Sasuke in his jumper and left to go make dinner. Fugaku immediately entered and began flicking through channels. Itachi was gone at the academy and Sasuke was all alone. He gurgled at his dad to get some attention. Fugaku jumped then stubbed his toe, not realizing that Sasuke was behind him.

"Fuck!" he muttered then froze, Sasuke just let out a cute baby laugh seeing his father in pain. He sighed in relief. Itachi learned his in exactly that matter and secretly watching scarface didn't help. But little did he know…

Sasuke began to jump high in his jumper and Fugaku chuckled as he took him out and gently tossed him in the air. Sasuke squealed excitedly.

"Don't you drop him!" Mikoto called poking her head in. Fugaku set him down and he helped Sasuke walk to his mom and latched himself to her leg. "It's strange that he isn't talking yet."

"I'm home!" Itachi called and came into the kitchen, "Hey squirt." He rufflede his brother's hair. Sasuke said something in baby language. Itachi went to his room to drop off his bag and Sasuke gleefully crawled after him. Itachi shut the door to his room and accidentally shut it on Sasuke's arm since he didn't know he was following him. Itachi scooped up his brother and shut the door "Please Sasuke stop crying!"

"WWAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH" Tears came out in torrents.

"Shh Sasuke, hush little Sasuke don't say a word Itachi's gonna buy you a mocking bird and if that mocking bird don't sing….itachi's gonna feel like a big dick head…"

Sasuke stopped crying "D-D…"

"Itachi get Sasuke it's time for dinner!" Mikoto called.

Itachi helped his brother walk to the table and they sat down for supper then went to bed. The next day they were in the restaurant just a simple burger parlor.

The uchihas were looking at the overhead menu.

"Na-na frn fri pip pip."

"Well he can say somewhat distinguishable words at least, French Fries sweety."

"Fren Fri."

Mikoto laughed as she began to make orders "2 double cheese burger combos and…"

"Mozza sticks." Itachi added

"25 mozza sticks, and a kids pack." Mikoto finished.

"How about some free dango for the young uns?" The kindly woman behind the counter asked.

"Sure, what do you say?" Mikoto asked.

"Thankyou." Itachi answered.

"Dick." Sasuke pipped in.

They turned to Sasuke and dark looks were cast at the 2 males.

"My…my bad…" Itachi muttered.

"Fuck sakes!" Sasuke continued.

"It slipped!" Fugaku answered.

"First words?" the cashier asked, "Well anyways here's your food."

They ate in silence knowing full well what was in store for them when they got home.

END!

**RAMEN?**

Kari was walking down the street having just completed a C rank mission that was out of town, she was going somewhere to celebrate. On her way she saw a young blonde boy crying on the curb and as people were walking by they shot nasty glares at him. Kari made her way to the boy, she tapped his shoulder and he jumped as though he had been struck.

"Hey, what are you doing sitting on the ground crying on such a nice day?" Kari asked in her soft kind voice.

The boy hastily wiped his tears and bit back a sniff, "No one likes me, everyone always looks at me like I've done something wrong, but I can't remember if I did anything bad…"

"Well I like you if that makes you feel better." Kari said "And to prove it lets have lunch, my treat."

"Okay!" The boy trotted happily beside her.

"What's your name?" Kari asked as they walked.

"Naruto."

"Oh, I'm Kari." They continued walking until they came to the entrance of the Ichiraku. "Have you ever had ramen before?"

"No."

The owner came over to them "The usual?"

"Yes please, 2 of them." Kari answered, they were silent again. Naruto sniffled silently but Kari still heard it. "You know, it doesn't matter if people like or hate you, what does is getting revenge and becoming the best you can be."

"Like old man Hokage?" Naruto asked curiously.

"Yeah!...i guess so." Kari nodded. The owner came back with two bowls of beef ramen.

"Here you go." He passed them the bowls.

"Dig in!" Kari said and began to slurp her noodles hungrily. Naruto curiously raised some noodles to his lips and slurped in some noodles. His face brightened and he began to hover the noodles down somehow without pausing to breathe.

Soon one bowl turned into 2 which turned into 3 before Kari stepped in "Okay kid that's all I can pay for."

"But its so good!" Naruto moaned.

"I might take you in two weeks. Kari said "Looks like you got a new customer." Kari informed the owner.

He looked at the boy and smiled kindly, "the last one's on me and here's a cupon." He gave it to Naruto. Kari handed him what she owed and they left the ramen shop.

"Thank you…" Naruto mumbled.

"No problem, don't let those mean people get ya down." Kari reminded him.

"Nope! Cause I'm going to be the Hokage and make everyone respect me dattebayo!"

'**Oh boy…I think you've started something…'** _'yeah I think so…'_

Naruto began to walk away and Kari had a big grin on her face as she went the other way.

END!!

**The Mission that went Sour**

You know the mission that Itachi, Deidara and Kisame were on when Kari was healing Rock-lee at the hospital? Well here's what really happened……

* * *

"I'm leaving!" Kari shouted then they heard the door shut.

Deidara was also nowhere to be found, Kisame went to go look for him when something bad happened, after half an hour and no sign of him he looked in the last possible place, the incomplete nursery. And there he was…looking curiously at the walls.

"What are you doing?" Kisamme asked in an exhausted voice.

"This is way to small to be a nursery, let alone for 2 babies un." Deidara said in a determined voice.

Kisame sighed, "You are not blowing up the nursery wall, besides this is the only empty room left in this part of the house."

Deidara got teary eyed, "But if we asked the hyuga girl to come over and look through the walls maybe…un."

"FINE!" Kisame forced out "But you're calling her."

"Yay!" Deidara skipped out to the kitchen and phoned the Hyuga manor.

"YO!! WAZZUP G?!...No! don't hang up! Is Hinata there?...Hey Hinata this is Deidara un. Yeah do you want to help us with a surprise for Kari?...yeah un………you have to come over to her house though, bring cola too! You're a doll un. Thank you see you soon." Deidara smugly hung up the phone.

"You know you could have just asked Itachi or Sasuke if the wall would have been safe to blow up."

"Oh damn why didn't you say that earlier un!"

"Because I hoped that you had the brain power to figure that out…."

"You didn't call china again did you?" a sinister voice asked from the other side of the room.

Deidara slowly turned around "No Itachi-kun I would never make the same mistake twice."

"Then who did you call?" Itachi inquired.

"Hinata…un."

"What are you two planning and no bullshit." Itachi wasn't having a good day today.

"WellDeidarawasinthenurseryandhewantstomakeitbiggerandhewasgoingtoblowaholeinthewallsoItoldhimhebettercalltheHyugasaovercuztheycanseethroughwallsandnowHinata'scomingover." Kisame said really fast in one breath.

"Repeat what you just said."

"well Deidara was in the nursery and he wants to make it bigger and he was going to blow a hole in the wall so I told him he better call the Hyugas over because they can see through walls and now Hinata's coming over."

The doorbell rang.

"Deidara…get the door." Itachi ordered.

"Yes sir un!" Deidara saluted and ran off to the door.

Itachi sighed and rubbed his temples.

"You're not usually this stressed." Kisame commented.

"Hn."

"It's okay, everything will be alright."

"I don't want her to pay for her foolishness with miscarriage. I don't think her becoming a mother hasn't sunken in yet." Itachi sighed.

"She will in due time, she's like my mother was, she isn't quite ready to let go of her freedom yet, don't be too worried about it."

Itachi remained silent and Deidara and Hinata entered the kitchen.

"Well lets take a look at that wall." Kisame said. They walked to the nursery.

"B-Byakugan." Hinata murmured. Veins appeared around her eyes and she scanned the walls. "This w-wall is v-very thick a-and goes into an e-empty space."

"Thankyou Hinata un. Now everyone stand back un!"

"Itachi…he's going to blow your wall up." Kisame muttered.

"It's just a useless storage closet." Itachi answered.

Deidara pulled out a clay bird and let it out of his hand.

"Itachi-san…" Hinata began.

"Don't worry about it he knows what he's doing."

"B-but-"

BOOM!! RAWR!! "DEIDARA!!" Kisame yelled.

"The c-cat!"

"We have a cat?" Itachi asked himself.

"WILL EVERYONE JUST SHUT UP??" Sasuke yelled.

"Looks like sleeping bitchy's up." Kisame commented.

Hinata was trying to get a smoldering Mr. Floofykins off the ceiling when Sasuke barged into the room.

"What…the fuck? Kari's gonna kill you." Sasuke informed.

"Don't worry about it un."

Sasuke saw Hinata struggling to get the cat down and since he was a bit taller than her he was just able to get the cat down. Hinata blushed at Sasuke's attire which was just a pair o old boxers. He handed her the cat.

"T-Thank you Sasuke-k-kun." Hinata said.

"Hmph." Sasuke muttered. Everyone began to clean the debris that the explosion created, then when that was cleaned out they brought out the paint.

"The let side will be blue and the right side will be purple." Itachi ordered.

"Your left or my left?" Kisame asked as he was facing Itachi.

"Mine, as in the left side of the room from the doorway." Itachi answered. They then began painting.

Hinata, Deidara and Kisame were painting the right side. Deidara was painting Kisame instead of the wall. He painted dildos and 'Fag for life.' Before he got caught but, Kisame didn't take off the shirt.

When they were about ¼ of the way done there was a knock at the door. Kisame went to go answer it and was greeted by Satori and Naomi. They were laughing at the back of Kisame's shirt as tney could see it on a mirror facing them.

"Kisame (snerk) you should look at the back of your shirt…." Naomi said through her hand.

Kisame switched it around and read it. "OOOOHHHH….that dick…" and he ran over to the nursery. Before Deidara could say anything Kisame slapped him with the paintbrush then dumped the tray on his head. Itachi stepped in then things got ugly. After things calmed down Satori and Naomi helped Hinata and Sasuke finish the room. Kari's parents entered with Kurenai.

"Wow…" Kurenai muttered eyeing the walls and then the 3 guys covered in paint in the middle. "I almost don't want to know."

Deidara ran for the bathroom and Kisame ran for the hose. Itachi sighed…that left him the pond.

Kurenai sighed, "Well I can go get Kari at the hospital." She left.

"I-I should probably get home…"

"No stay! It'll be alright 30 minutes won't hurt."

"A-Alright…"

And you know the rest

END!!

_Well I hope you guys like that……… I managed to squeak this one in between working and camping so yeah updating might be a tight squeeze but I'll try and manage, but other stories have higher priorities like Hilarious Beyblade Stories and Ninjas in a Nook but I probably won't be able to update until school starts cuz of working and health appointments and then more camping and traveling to far away lands (u know what I'm talking about bratty )_

_Sakura Sama signing off….._

_PS PLEASE REVIEW!_

_Now Sakura Sama 101 is signing off……FOREVER!!CHA!! jokin_


	31. The Wedding

_Ahoy there! Hows it goin? I'm okay haha well……I can't believe in a few chapters this will be done but for you loyal fans out there I am making a sequel ^_^ btw this chapter was a little uncomfortable for me to write mostly because this story took a completely different route than when I first started it, but in the end when I read it I thought it was good and I hope u feel the same ^_^._

_Well I won't keep u_

'_thoughts'_

**Masked words**

'**inner Kari'**

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto_

Kari was spending a lot of time indoors thanks to a certain someone expressing his concern to the doctor they were seeing. Kari had mixed opinions about the whole bed rest thing, not allowed to leave the house prescription. Part of her was welcoming the break and the other hated to have to be confined.

She spend most of her time in front of the tube, she found an interesting show called 'Basilisk.' She had to admit that it was very interesting and began to train herself to mask her words. She had fun when she finally mastered it when everyone would respond to her out loud. She realized suddenly that the wedding was coming up but nothing was planned.

'_Oh shit, I should probably get on that…oh after the next episode.'_ The wedding was going to take place in the Uchiha shrine Kari already bought her dress and Tsunade would marry them. Only the decorations and catering were left. Kari flopped back on the couch with a sigh, she grabbed a banana, _'We're lucky that nothing like what's on basilisk has happened in Konoha, I couldn't bear a horrible ninja war like that…'_

Itachi walked in and sat down beside her, "Are you still mad at me?" Itachi asked.

"No." Kari answered.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be."

They sat like that and watched TV.

"You know the date of the wedding's coming soon." Itachi commented.

"Oh yeah…" Kari trailed off, "Is it okay if we have a western wedding?"

"Yes, but we'll have it at the shrine where mother and father are." Itachi answered.

"Yes definitely!" Kari agreed.

"Now…about catering…" Itachi began.

"Doesn't Guy do catering? Or the Akamichis? What about Ichiraku ramen?"

"Maybe, no and no" Itachi answered. "It might be your dream to have ramen at your wedding but us normal people wouldn't care for that."

"Shuddap!" Kari punched his arm. Mika hopped up on the unoccupied cushion.

They continued to watch T.V until Naomi walked in. "Kari, mom and dad went back to light."

"Good now I can have some piece and quiet." Kari answered.

"They realize you aren't and never are going to forgive them so they decided to leave and quit trying."

"Shows how much they care. They just wanted to reconcile with me then screw me over again." Kari answered.

Naomi sighed, "I'm not trying to get you guys back together and I understand why you would never forgive them, but it would have been nice if things never happened the way they did."

"Tell that to our parents not me." Kari answered.

"Yeah nevermind I said anything." Naomi said. She then smiled, "I can phone Guy and see if he can do catering." Naomi left.

Luckily it was just those 3 in the house the others were either doing errands or were out on missions. A short while later Naomi came back, "Guy said he'd be happy to cater."

"Okay good! Now I have a week to relax!" Kari celebrated.

"What about decorations?" Naomi asked.

"The Yamanaka flower shop has everything I need, I want a bouquet of Sakura flowers, my bride's maids will wear white base with red and black flowers and they can have whatever they want, we'll just strew a shitload of white ribbons and white roses everywhere." Kari answered.

"Sounds good, and besides it's not my wedding."

A few hours later some of the guys came home, "Kari! Get up and do something!"

"Kisame! Guess what?! I'm not your maid anymore!" she turned back to the TV, "I'm watching walruses and I'm one of them! Your goddamn relatives are eating them!"

"Kari….if you make one more crack about my looking like a shark so help me-"

"Or you'll what?!" Kari challenged standing up.

"I'll beat you to a pulp!"

"I'd love to see you try!" Kari answered beckoning him over.

"If you don't stop I'll kick both of your asses." Itachi announced.

"Woman-beater! Cruelty to animals!" Kari screamed, "Screw you guys! I'm going home!" she walked to her room.

"You are home!" Sasuke called after her, but she ignored him.

"The bear went back to her cave to hibernate un!" Deidara commented.

"You guys better shut up or you'll find something unpleasant in your food!" Kari screamed.

The next day Kari went off to find Jiraiya and Tsunade, knowing them they'd both be at the tavern. Sure enough, there they were.

"Hey guys!" Kari called.

"Hey there." Jiraiya answered.

"Yo." Tsunade replied.

They ordered more food and Kari sat down. "I have a favor to ask both of you. Tsunade…could you marry me and Itachi? And Jiraiya could you walk me down the aisle? Be my dad?"

"Of course." Jiraiya answered.

"I'd be honored." Tsunade added.

Kari stayed with them for a while and had some much needed fun, though staying far away from the sake. They then walked her home; no one would dare attack them even if her escorts were drunk. Finally it was the big day and Kari was very tired. They put her hair in ringlets and Naomi did her makeup.

Kari didn't protest because she knew they'd do her make up appropriately or she'd kill them. She didn't hate make up, but she hated how everyone put excessive amounts on themselves and tried to put it on her. Kari only put on enough to enhance her features but still appear natural which gave the others a shock.

"Hey! I don't want to be looking like a painted up prostitute! Or go around like bozo the clown with raccoon eyes!" Kari said somewhat waspish.

"Is that a crack at geisha?!" Naomi retorted.

"No! It's a crack at the wannabes who have no special talents other than being a fellatrix!"

"What's a fellatrix?" Hinata asked innocently.

Kari paled, "Uh….ask your father…NO! Don't ask your father!"

"What about Neji-niisan?" Hinata asked.

"I don't think he would know what it is either, I'll tell you at the reception." Kari said. Kari put on her kimono, it was white, but it had very pale pink blossoms on the hems, shoulders and around her obi, which was the same pale pink. They were very careful with tying the obi so that it was snug but loose.

Everyone quickly got ready but they still had about 45 minutes to hang out.

In one room there was Kari, Naomi, Hinata, Shizune, Kurenai, Sakura and Tsunade.

"Tori hasn't shown up yet has she?" Kari asked.

"Oh, a letter came in the mail…" Naomi said, "It's about Tori, I didn't want to give it to you today…" Naomi said as she reluctantly handed it over.

Kari began to read the letter, her eyes began to get cloudy, "Well…" she took a shuddering breath, "It's the way she would have wanted to go…with honor in the heat of battle, may she enjoy paradise in the next world."

"Hear hear!" Tsunade said downing her shot.

Somehow Kari never shed a tear and the awful news was soon cast aside as it slowly got closer to 1:30.

(ruler)

Itachi and his fellow groomsmen Kisame, Deidara, Sasuke, Kioshi and Satori were in another room bidding their time for the time being. Kari expressively demanded that Itachi not come and see her until they meet at the platform. Itachi understood and respected the tradition but he was curious to find out what she looked like, he never thought he would live to see the day that he would see Kari dressed up anything short of a princess and BAM! It was on their wedding day.

"Who would have thought it…" Itachi mused to himself.

"That you're marrying that broad? I wouldn't have!" Kisame laughed. "Haha! She's not a broad but she has her days."

"You weren't there when we were children Kisame." Sasuke commented, "Today everyone's saying-"

"Finally!" Kioshi finished.

"Yeah just like that." Sasuke added.

"Child love is the best un." Deidara sighed.

"More along the lines of adolescent." Itachi corrected.

"Whatever un!"

"I haven't seen the ring bearer around." Kisame said.

"The girls are looking after him." Itachi answered. "Konohamaru and Hanabi…I forgot that they're in the ceremony."

Jiraiya at that point entered the room and alerted the guys that the time was almost here and that they better get out on the altar.

Everyone did some last minute preparations and freshening up. Then all of the men except the ring bearer went to stand at the back of the shrine on the altar.

Jiraiya came into the women's room, "Kari, it's time." She got no response. "Kari?"

"K-Kari-c-chan?" Hinata asked tugging her sleeve.

Kari was in dreamland, she was thinking of weddings particularly 16 candles when the bride took too much muscle relaxant and was pretty much high. Kari grinned, at least she didn't have to worry about her period for a few more months, it was nice not having cramps but morning sickness, the mother of all mood swings, and being sore balanced it out. **'Lets face it Kari, we can't win.'**

"Hey!" Hanabi's voice interrupted her thoughts and got twacked on the forehead.

"Brat! I don't care if you're my flower girl! You're dead!" Kari hissed.

"Remember when I was a cute little baby and you didn't want to give me back to Kioshi?" Hanabi put on a sweet face.

"Yeah." Kari mumbled.

"I asked her to get your attention." Jiraiya broke in. "Everyone's here and they're waiting for us." He went to the other room and music began to play, then ran back in.

"Everyone get in order!" she ordered and ran back out to the altar. Hanabi and Konohamaru were in the front, fallowed by Hinata, Sakura, then Shizune, Naomi and Kurenai, and finally Kari and Jiraiya. Hanabi and Konohamaru scowled at eachother but began to walk down the aisle but instead of gently dropping the flower petals on the ground she was whipping them into the pews, but…after getting glares from her father, Neji, Itachi and Tsunade she stopped and was ashamed. Konohamaru was trying hard not to giggle and was containing it really good.

Hinata began to go down as Hanabi and Konohamaru were ¾ down and everyone else followed until it came to Kari. The music changed and everyone stood and looked to the back. Kari and Jiraiya began to walk down the aisle. Itachi's breath caught. Kari looked stunning. Just like the princess she never wanted to be.

Kari meanwhile couldn't believe how many people showed up. A lot of them she couldn't remember inviting but the more the merrier. _'I bet they've come because Itachi is very highly respected, with being the leader of the Uchiha clan and all…hey! I'll be co-command! Kay! Stop daydreaming! Practically all of Konoha is here and I'm probably giving the impression that Itachi's marrying a total space case!' _**'Of course you are!' **_'Shut up.' _Kari snapped to attention.

"Are you getting cold feet? Any second thoughts?" Jiraiya asked quietly as he led her down.

"No…I just feel sick…" Kari answered. Itachi looked handsome wearing a barong tagalong with an Uchiha symbol on the back. He began to talk off the platform as they approached. Itachi and Jiraiya looked at each other and Itachi gracefully bowed. Jiraiya bowed back and Itachi reached out his hand. Kari took it and he led her up to the platform.

"Please sit." Tsunade said, she ruffled through a book, "Love is patient, and love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking. It is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices in truth. It always protects always trusts, always hopes, always preserves. Love never fails." She took a deep breath, _'Damn I'm good I said it all in one breath.' _"We will now take a few minutes to pray for the bride and groom."

During those few minutes Kari's grip began to loosen as she calmed down.

"It is now time to exchange vows." Tsunade broke the silence.

(AN: I felt very very awkward writing these…..so hopefully they're good.)

Itachi grasped both of Kari's small hands in his, "Kari ever since we were small I always protected you. I never wanted anything to happen to you, because you were and still are my world and my everything, and I will always protect you. I will protect you and our children until the bitter end. I will be a good father and support our family and try to give us a good life. I will always love you." Itachi spoke. He could kind of see Kari smile under the veil but he saw two tears drop from under.

"Do you Uchiha Itachi take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health to love and to cherish till death do you part according to Kami's holy accordance. And thereto to her you plight your troth?" Tsunade asked.

"I do." Itachi answered.

Kari took a deep breath, "Itachi…I realize that I've made a lot of stupid mistakes and have been selfish. I vow to do everything I can for everyone. I will be a good mother and I will take care of our family and all those who live in our home. I will help you support our family and share the burdens. If anything happens to you I will never remarry because you are the only man for me. I will sacrifice everything for us, and when you're gone for a long time for missions I'll do all I can to make sure everyone and everything is in one piece. I don't do this because you ask me to, I do this because I love you and I have no second thoughts about anything." Kari felt like she was rambling like an idiot, Itachi's sounded amazing but hers was just all over the place.

"Do you Toshikawa Kari take this man to be your lawful wedded husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health to love and to cherish till death do you part in kami's holy accordance and thereto to him you plight your troth?"

"I do."

Konohamaru-san, please bring the rings."

Konohamaru came over and presented the rings.

Itachi grabbed Kari's ring, as he put the ring on her finger he spoke, "Let this ring be a symbol of my promises to you and a reminder of my devotion to you. I am honored to call you my wife."

Kari shakily grabbed the other gold band, she grabbed Itachi's hand and as she put the ring on his finger she spoke, "I give you this ring as a symbol of my love for you. Let it be a reminder that I am always by your side and that I will always be a faithful partner to you."

Konohamaru walked back in the line, Kari and Itachi quickly signed the certificate and went back to Tsunade.

"If anyone has any just cause as to why these two should not be joined by holy matrimony speak now or forever hold their piece."

They waited for a few seconds and Jiraiya stood up.

"I object! He's a human ice cube!"

"Sit down Jiraiya!" Kari answered.

"You may now kiss the bride!" Tsunade added.

Itachi lifted up Kari's veil and smiled, her makeup ran a little from her tears of joy but he placed one hand under her smiling face and captured her lips in a deep kiss. Everyone cheered, and Jiraiya and Tsunade grabbed two small candles, they lit them and Tsunade gave hers to Kari and Jiraiya to Itachi, they then used the two candles to light a unity candle.

After they went to have their photographs taken professionally and when that was done they went to the academy gym for their reception and banquet. Gai really outdid himself with the food, it was delicious, luckily there were a few restrictions when it came to the reception. They had people checking if they had an invitation and if they didn't have one they weren't allowed in.

The guests had their own tables and anyone that was a part of the wedding sat at the head table, it was a quiet feast. "Before we get to cutting the cake we have a small presentation." Tsunade began.

"What presentation?" Itachi asked fearing the worst.

Sasuke, Tsunade and Jiraiya exchanged a grin, "You two will find out soon enough, hit it Jiraiya!" Sasuke called. Jiraiya turned on a projector and clicked something on a computer.

It flashed the words 'Itachi Uchiha' and went to Mikoto holding Itachi just moments after he was born, it then went to Itachi as a toddler; his hair was one big ball of fluff and he had a big grin on his face. Next was Fugaku and Itachi throwing shuriken; Itachi's hair was at his shoulders, he was 5 in that picture. Next was Itachi holding baby Sasuke. The next one was Itachi and Sasuke in swimming trunks playing in the rain. They were in a massive puddle splashing each other, the last picture was of Itachi graduating from the academy.

Next was a video clip of the Uchiha family at the beach, Itachi was burying Sasuke in the sand, Mikoto was working on her tan and Fugaku was asleep.

"MOM! DAD! HELP!!!! ITACHI'S BURYING ME ALIVE!!"

"Itachi, be nice to your brother! You only have one!"

"Why couldn't you make another?" Itachi asked.

"Because I fixed daddy remember?"

"Mom! He-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! MMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!" Sasuke got a mouthful of sand.

"WILL YOU TWO STOP?!" Fugaku screamed and ran towards the boys, Itachi ran as fast as his 10 year old legs could carry him and with some hidden strength Sasuke got out of his sand prison and ran after his brother to the water. Unfortunately for them Fugaku caught up with them and he grabbed Itachi by his trunks and hauled him over his shoulder and launched him into the water.

"I'll avenge my death!" Itachi cried as he landed 20m away.

Sasuke looked into the ocean, amazed at how far Itachi flew. "Do you want a turn?" Fugaku asked Sasuke.

"Yes please!" Sasuke answered with a grin on his face. Fugaku picked up Sasuke and launched him as far as he could.

"WWWWHHHHHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Sasuke screamed as hard as he could until he landed.

"Damn that kid's got some lungs."

The movie stopped and Kari was laughing really hard. "I'd stop laughing, you're next." Itachi said with a grin on his face.

"I can't wait to see what they find of my pictures." She answered.

The words 'Kari Toshikawa' flashed across the screen. The first picture was Kari in an incubator. She was asleep and looked scrawny and helpless, sick with jaundice. The second picture was Kari and Naomi as toddlers. Kari had a block in her mouth and Naomi was arranging them. The next picture was of Kari naked, high in a tree, with Satori holding a bunch of clothes. The look on Kari's face said that she clearly wasn't coming down. Luckily she was hugging the tree trunk so nothing was exposed. The next picture was of Satori giving Kari a piggy back ride when she was 6. the next picture was of Kari with a puppy and the last picture was Kari going to the academy.

There was also a video clip.

Kari was in the bathtub p-laying with shaving cream. She was covered head-to-toe in the stuff. "Kari, you know that you aren't allowed to play with that." Satori's voice could be heard.

"I-I know that!" Kari looked like a deer caught in headlights.

"It's okay, if we wash it off before everyone gets home we'll be okay."

"Okay." Kari scooped some up and ate it, then climbed out of the tub. "I left my orange juice on the table."

"Ah! Get back in the tub!"

"No! You can't tell me what to do!"

"Hey! I'm your elder by 6 years! Get back in that tub!"

"Did I stutter? No! N-O!" she was walking away. "I'm getting my juice that's it I swear."

"I should have expected that from a 7 year old." Satori muttered.

Kari came back with her juice and was eating shaving cream. "You shouldn't eat that." Satori told her.

"Why?"

"Because it'll kill you." Satori said sinisterly.

"Ok…okay…" Kari hopped back in the tub. She drew an 'S' on her chest, "I'm superman!" and that ended the clip.

"Good, is it over now?" Itachi asked.

"Not quite…." Sasuke answered. The words 'Together forever' appeared on the screen. The first picture was of team 1, Kioshi, Itachi, Kari and Enoki. Kari could see their old sensei at a table, messy haired as always and beaming with pride. The second picture was a family picture of the Uchihas and Kari and the third one was Kari and Itachi playing with the younger kids, then team 1 after the chunnin exams then a picture of Kari and Itachi after Itachi made it into the black ops.

The lights came back on to tumultuous applause and laughter. Kari was probably the one laughing the hardest. "Where did you guys find those?" she asked.

"In a box under the stairs." Naomi answered.

"In the china cabinet and the albums." Sasuke added.

"I'll have to go rooting through those…" Kari trailed off.

"We have to cut the cake." Itachi informed Kari.

"Mmmm…..cake…." Kari began to daydream about cake.

"That means now." Itachi sighed.

"Oh, oops!" they walked over to the cake. Kari grabbed the knife and Itachi put his and over hers and they used their ninja skills to quickly cut the cake. Kari fed Itachi his piece very nice, everyone expected Kari to at least smash cake in his face. But they were disappointed when nothing happened.

Itachi did the same, but no one noticed his hand go for another plate and smash the cake in her face. Kari was stunned as Itachi began to giggle. Kari wiped the cake off and pouted, "You're not very nice!"

"I know."

"What's everyone waiting for? Help yourselves!" she cried as she tried to wipe off icing. The rest of the reception went by and just before it was over…

"Alright! I need all the non married girls grouped up in the center!" Kari cried. "It's time to catch the bouquet!" she turned her back "Catch!" she threw it up in the air, Hinata caught them though she was very confused. "Yay! Hinata's next to get married!"

Kari grinned, then sat on a chair. "All you unmarried guys come to the center!" Kari called. Most of them did. "Oh yeah….just so you know because I don't think everyone's familiar with western tradition, there is a garter on my leg and he has to get it with his teeth. He will then throw it, if you catch it you get a prize."

(AN: at least that's how my cousin did it…..)

So…down Itachi went, Kari giggled silently as it tickled. He came up with her garter amidst cheers and catcalls. He did a bow and turned around; he tossed it in the air. Sasuke wasn't paying attention and was talking to Neji when the garter landed on one of Sasuke's spikes.

"What the…" Sasuke pulled it out of his hair, "What's this?"

"I believe that is Kari's garter." Neji answered.

"EEEEWWWW!" he tossed it towards his brother who was grinning like a madman.

The party was quickly over and Kari and Itachi decided they would have their honeymoon in a very quiet, decent hotel, otherwise known as the best western. On the way…

"So….how did you get the wheel chair?" Kari asked half asleep. He was pushing her down the street.

"I found it in Teyaki's old home." Itachi answered.

"I wasn't sure if…I should ask…but, have you found closure through Orochimaru's death?"

"Yes I have." He sighed, "But it doesn't bring them back to life….I still miss them."

"Yes…true enough….I miss them too…"

They walked into the hotel and got their cards and went to their room.

END!

_Wow this chapter just made 9 pages ^_^ I hope that you guys liked it despite being oc and all ^_^ please review! Perhaps check out my other stories, whatever floats your boat ^_^ I'll try to update soon. _


	32. The Honeymoon and WalMart

_Hey there, I'm a little disappointed in the reviews there were only 2 of them, but thanks for the two who did ^_^ I appreciate this, ^_^ well I just finished writing this story today, now its just a matter of posting it. I made an interesting discovery! The dude who plays Zabuza…I think is the voice actor of Pirate Brandeau on the Suikoden series! And that Itachi's voice actor is Alucard off of Hellsing…I just thought I'd throw that out there…cuz I'm blissfully naive that way… Here is the next chapter of Akatsuki's flower. _

'_thoughts.'_

'**inner Kari'**

* * *

"When I was kidnapped my parents snapped into action, they rented out my room." –Woody Allen

* * *

_Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, just a Hinata stuffy in my room ^_^_

The next morning Itachi woke up at noon. It didn't surprise him considering yesterday. He found a very interesting book in his library called 'be prepared, a practical handbook for new dads.' He began to read it, _'Oh if only it mentioned twins…' _Itachi mused. It was soon 2:30 and he decided to wake her up. "Hey wake up." He gently shook her. Kari's eyes fluttered open. "Good afternoon."

"Huh?"

"It's 2:45."

Kari stretched, "I'm so sore…"

"I figured you would be, but I thought you should eat something so I grabbed some lunch from the restaurant in the lobby."

"Oh, thanks!" Kari smiled as he passed her a sandwich. She ate the food and fell back asleep. She didn't wake up until the next morning.

Kari was pouring herself a glass of orange juice, "we should go buy some baby stuff, we have the cribs and the co-sleeper but we don't have anything else." Itachi said, "According to the doctor you're due in early December right?"

"Yeah, it's getting closer." Kari sighed, "But where would we shop for those things?"

"There's a shopping complex across the street."

"Always the observant one."

"Someone has to be." Itachi answered. Kari blew a raspberry and went to use the tub. Itachi used that quiet time to write a list of all the things they would need to get. He found a breast pump he assumed belonged to his mother. He knew that was going to come in handy. He really wanted to get a stroller since the one they had at home and were pushed around in was a death trap; it was a miracle they didn't die. And they also decided that a baby backpack or two would also be a good idea.

Kari meanwhile decided to call home, "Hello?" Kisame's voice came in.

"Ahoy there Kisame-kun!" Kari answered.

"Hey Kari-kun, so how did consummating the marriage go? You can be honest, Itachi sucks we all know, you can say it."

Kari giggled, "Kisame, Kisame, you can't help yourself can you?"

"Not really."

"Are you taking care of the house? And making sure that it's somewhat clean? And are you guys feeding the animals?"

"Yes, yes and yes!" Kisame answered, "Don't worry everything's fine! Oh and by the way we got some unexpected presents from the wedding, we haven't touched most of them."

"Oh good I was expecting those."

"Who's on the phone un?" Deidara's voice came through. "Hey Kari-kun un! Sooooo……how was-"

"None of your business!"

"I was going to say the first couple of days of your honeymoon but seeing as how rude you are being…." Deidara's voice sounded close to tears.

"Oh Deidara! I'm so sorry! Kisame got me all riled up and-"

"DIE KISAME UN!!"

"AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Kari could hear sounds of their scuffle but heard someone walk over and scoff, that person grabbed the phone, "Hello?"

Good! It was Sasuke! He would tell her the truth! "Sasuke-kun anything to report?"

"Nope." Sasuke reported, "They've kept the house moderately clean and all of the animals have been fed."

"Okay good. Well I have to go…I'll see you guys in a couple days." Kari splashed some water.

"Bye." They hung up. Itachi walked into the bathroom.

"Is our house still in one piece?" he asked.

"Yes it is surprisingly." Kari answered while washing her face. She continued on to wash her hair, "And there's also some presents that came in too."

"Hn."

Kari ducked under to rinse her hair then she began to put conditioner in her hair. "Hey the less we have to buy, the better." She rinsed her hair out and grabbed a towel and wrapped it around herself.

Itachi chuckled as he left.

Soon they left for the 'shopping complex. Kari liked being pushed around in the wheel chair, she noticed her legs weren't as sore and the swelling she was beginning to get in her feet had gone down considerably, plus it was really fun. _'Now if I could get him to do this after I have the kids…' _**'Or get pregnant again.' **_'No way in hell! I'm waiting a couple years.' _

Soon they were in the mall and bought a few high durability baby backpacks because who knew when they'd get called on a mission and they wouldn't be able to find a babysitter. (Though they decided this would be for C-ranks and lower.) Now they were on a quest to find a stroller suitable for their needs. They looked in Sears, Zellers, and the Bay but didn't find anything. Finally they went to Wal-Mart.

"Are you sure there is nowhere else we can go to?" Kari asked.

"No." Itachi answered.

"Okay."

"Why do you hate Wal-Mart?" Itachi asked, he didn't want to know why…but he asked anyway.

"Because they use slaves to make their products in other countries like Kirigakure….and their employees get paid 15 cents an hour."

"Hn." Itachi pondered. "Would it make you feel better if we only went for the stroller?"

"No."

"What about a Kit-Kat?"

"A Kit-Kat made by slave labor!" she corrected him.

"There's no winning with you is there?" He heaved an exasperated sigh.

"Nope."

So he pushed her into Wal-Mart. And there they found the perfect stroller.

"A stroller made by slave labor!"

"Do you know who you sound like?" Itachi asked in monotone.

"No, who do I sound like?" Kari asked intrigued.

"Hermione."

"From Harry Potter?"

"Of course, how many other Hermiones do you know?" he asked with mild sarcasm.

"Millions!" she answered.

"Sure…" So he pushed her and the stroller up to the register. Kari sulked all the way.

"You know what? Since we are getting the stroller throw in the Kit Kat you offered, so that I can support slavery for the cocoa plantations that Nestle is a big part of." Kari said as she kept her voice stoic. She was laughing on the inside a little but she decided this would be her last chocolate bar for a while as she decided to boycott it.

Then they decided to do some window shopping, which they bought a few other things, like food. They went back to the hotel. They pretty much did nothing the next 4 days except swim.

When they finally got home…

Everyone marveled at the new stroller as Kari sulked. But when she opened the wedding presents she was happy to find many things that she didn't have to buy, then she went to bed.

Kari as the days went by felt herself getting more and more exhausted. Soon caffeine was incorporated back into her menu and that did help. Naomi also took good care of her. Slowly Kari began to stay awake for longer periods and took to walking for short distances to help relieve discomfort.

In the middle of September Itachi got a letter in the mail. "Who's it from?" Kari asked groggily.

"Tsunade-sama requesting I take my old place in ANBU along with the decrees the Sandaime issued now becoming null and void. It also goes on to say that she surveyed villagers about this and 70 percent were okay with everything being removed and us getting normal citizenship." He messed up her hair, "I have to go see her to get things finalized, I'll be back later." He kissed her forehead and left. The others were gone as well so Kari was alone with the dog and the cat. She decided she would read Itachi's 'Be prepared' book. There was an interesting section on dogs and cats in there so she quickly put tinfoil on the beds of both cribs, and on the co-sleeper. Itachi also bought mesh tents just incase the first idea didn't work.

Kari never realized how much stuff the house could hold, it was a gold mine! Half of the stuff she found she never saw in living with the Uchihas. She found a small baby doll that was perfect for role play, and while she was looking for an MP3 that had a baby crying she pretended the stuffie was real, cooing to it, breast feeding it and putting it to sleep. When she found it she immediately began to play it and comfort the stuffy.

She did this for two reasons, the first to get the animals acquainted to the change, and the second was to practice and get herself ready. A third reason, though she didn't really think about it was to curb her boredom. So she did that the whole time until Sasuke came home, he just ignored it and played along with it, though he was a little confused.

Deidara and Kisame came home…

"Holy shit un! You had them?!" Deidara asked.

"What…the…fuck?" Kisame added.

"We're role-playing." Sasuke said in monotone.

"…WHY?!" Kisame asked.

"So that the pets are used to the regime when kids arrive." Kari answered, "And I can practice…" _'And get rid of my boredom.' _

Kisame stayed silent.

"That's awesome!" Deidara answered and he began to help the other two.

"I'm going to my room." Kisame left.

Kari began to play the crying sound hoping to get a reaction from Kisame, when she didn't get one she stopped.

Itachi didn't get home until it was very late. He didn't stay up for too long either as he had a mission the next day that would take him out of the village for approximately 2 weeks, which was to help secure a new Kazekage and restore some kind of order to the land of wind.

It was as if nothing changed from when they were younger except she didn't have Sasuke to keep her company since he was off doing missions with team 7. Naomi had been doing more geisha work and hardly came over. Deidara and Kisame and Satori were also doing way more missions. Everyone else was training for the next chuunin exams when they weren't doing missions.

It was times like this when she wished Mikoto and Fugaku were still alive. They were always there to talk to. Hinata came to visit every few days, which was nice because it got boring talking to the dog especially since she never got an answer. She was currently moving the dog's and cat's things to the laundry room when she got a knock on the door. She set the dog bed down and began to walk to the door. She was happy to have visitors and was glad Hinata was at the door.

"Come in!" Kari ushered her in. Kari ran to the kitchen and grabbed some snacks and drinks. They both sat on the couch, "So what brings you to this neck of the woods?"

Hinata pushed her fingers together, "Well…I finished training w-with Kiba and Shino early and I d-didn't want to go home yet." Hinata blushed, "I wanted to know if we could do something until I have to leave…"

"What about fool around on the instruments? I still have to find those and it would be nice to have some help…" Kari asked. So they began to rummage around the house and search for said instruments. In the end they found them under the dusty crawl space. Hinata went in there because she was the only one who would fit. So she pulled out all of the instruments. It quickly turned dark outside and they were still at it. Sasuke came through the door. "Hey Sasuke-chan! Wanna play?"

"Not really." Sasuke answered as he sprawled out on a chair. They continued what they were doing until there was a knock at the door.

Kari went to go answer it and was greeted by the sight of Neji. "Hinata-chan!" Kari called.

Hinata walked up to the door, "Hey Neji-niisan!"

"I've come to take you home." Neji informed.

"Oh…okay, see you guys later."

"Bye." Hinata and Neji left.

_END _

_Well that ends this chapter…Only two more to go ^_^ haha please review ^_^ it would be nice to reach 150 reviews when I finish this story. Oh well to die to sleep perchance a dream…or however Hamlet goes xD haha oh yeah look up Nestle and Wal-Mart on youtube…they have some skeletons in their closets. Be sure to type in Chocolate and the Ivory Coast and Wal-Mart and Bangladesh and stuff. I hope you enjoyed and yeah please review! _


	33. Oh My God the Babys' coming!

_Hello again ^_^ well…I thought the sooner I got it up the better ^_^ And I know that this probably isn't what happened in the series…and that Gaara wasn't made Kazekage this way…but originality never hurt anyone^_^ enjoy everyone! This is the big moment!_

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"_All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, that's his." Oscar Wilde._

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'_Thoughts'_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto…_

It had been over a week since Itachi was expected to be back home. Kari knew 2 weeks wouldn't be enough time, not only did they have to make sure that the council was safe, they had to make sure that the riots were dispelled, from the reports that Tsunade received, the sand wasn't being entirely truthful. Although Gaara did formally present himself as a candidate, the council wasn't willing to let him become Kazekage. In all of this confusion the Sand economy froze. The villagers trying to get some food to their families and money to make a living began to panic and all hell broke loose. The ninjas knowing if this continued on it would be the destruction of the land of wind, tried to force Gaara on the Kazekage name but the sand ninja forgot to factor in samurai the council had under their control, so they were still at a political standstill.

Everyone knew that the council was as corrupt as they came. And they would rather have the incarnation of sand be Kazekage then them. So after getting permission from Tsunade to use force, then under Itachi's leadership they managed to eradicate most of the council. When Gaara was made Kazekage the rioting stopped, Itachi decided they would stay a little longer incase a rebellion started. They had to get back to report their mission passed.

Itachi and his squad marched into Tsunade's office, "Well look at what the cat dragged in, well better really late then never I suppose…"

Itachi nodded as he handed in his report, "Everything is moderately stable but it would be a good idea to keep an eye on Sunagakure for the time being."

"Good work. You are all dismissed."

Itachi was glad to be back in leaf, he liked being back with the vegetation. That and being away from home for a month was a little too long. He knocked on the door, it took a few minutes but Kisame answered the door.

"Oh hello there." Kisame greeted him and let him inside. They both sat on the couch and grabbed a beer.

"So how'd it go?" Kisame asked.

"We managed, thanks for asking." Itachi answered, "It's good to be back though. But I'll still be digging sand out of a lot of crevices."

"Hmm…"

"Where's everyone else?" Itachi asked.

"Asleep."

"It is pretty late then."

"Yeah it's 2 am."

"Really?"

"Nah, I'm just messing with you it's 11 pm." Kisame answered. Itachi remained silent and they watched TV for a while but retired to bed soon enough. It would be any day now when Kari would go into labor. Kari began to get excited when she expelled her bloody show, then got grossed out, and then went to have a nap.

Itachi told Tsunade that they'd be due any day and asked for a 3 month leave. She granted it but didn't have any guarantees. He was lucky that he asked when he did because Kari was in very great pain when he returned. He found her sprawled on the couch with a hot water bottle on her lower abdomen. "What day is it today?" She groaned.

"November 20th." He answered.

"Oh okay, so around two and a half weeks early." She forced out.

"Do you think it's a false contraction?"

"I…don't know…if it keeps up for more than 4 hours I should probably go in." So whenever Kari wasn't feeling good, the solution was the comedy network, soon Kari was crying from laughter.

"Are you okay now?"

"For now." Kari answered, "It kind of comes and goes."

"Hey! I'm home!" Sasuke informed. He came into the living room, "Are you okay?"

Kari ruefully laughed, "I'd like to think so."

"Hnn…" Sasuke answered. Mika sensing something was up…kept her distance. Nothing else happened after that, or the day after that it wasn't until Kari was looking for something to drink did something happen.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Kari screamed. Itachi nearly jumped out of his skin as he ran into the kitchen. Kari was looking aghast at a vast puddle of water. "I…I…I…think I'm dying…" she looked like she was going to pass out. "I exploded…" She continued on, "One of the babies exploded!" she began to hyperventilate but was side tracked by a sharp jolt of pain, "And the other one wants revenge! AH!" Itachi began to help her to their room.

"It's alright, your water just broke, we're going to the hospital." Itachi couldn't keep the nervousness out of his voice as he was excited. He got her into a new pair of pants and he began to run to the hospital, carrying her on his back.

"AAAHH!" Kari screamed, "It fucking hurts!" they ran by team 7 at Ichiraku Ramen and they caught Kari's scream, "Son of a bitch!" Sasuke, knowing what was happening took off after them. Luckily they made it to the hospital as Kari was having another contraction. "Oooooohhhhh fuck! Fuck it all, why did I ever get myself into this situation?! Why did I drink!?"

"That's just the hormones talking." Itachi answered.

"Yo." Sasuke was tired of being ignored.

"Hi." Itachi answered. Natsuko was walking by to reception when Kari began to scream again. "Hello Natsuko, any chance you could fit us in?" he asked as the grip on his shoulders got tighter.

"Oh god yes! Come on!" she quickly got them to the receptionist, and they were getting a team of doctors.

"Itachi…I'm sorry…" Kari grunted.

"For what?" Itachi asked. He felt her stomach sharply tap his back and the sensation of water drip down his legs.

"My other water broke…" She hid her face in his neck to try and keep her composure and hide her embarrassment.

Sasuke was horrified at what had just taken place. He couldn't wrap his head around what happened. This would only have taken place in a movie or perhaps America's funniest home videos. And here it was happening before his eyes.

Soon Kari was being wheeled to her room and changed into a gown. She was clenching the rails, trying not to scream out. Itachi meanwhile was changing into some hospital garb. "Kindly text Deidara and ask him to bring me a change of clothes."

"Yeah, no problem." Sasuke answered.

"If you tell him why I'll-"

"Don't worry, I'm not that mean." They stepped out of the change room and were greeted by Tsunade.

"Guess what?!"

"You're the supervising doctor?" Itachi guessed.

"How did you guess?!" Tsunade asked.

"Well Tsunade-sama I thought up something realistic and used my mouth and vocal chords to communicate what I was thinking." Itachi answered.

"You're a smartass."

"Kari isn't going to wait for us." Sasuke commented.

"Right!" Tsunade answered becoming serious, "Let's go!"

When they entered Kari's room she was already propped up but was dozing off. Natsuko was scribbling on a clip board. "8 cm." she answered before Tsunade could ask.

"THAT'S IT?!" Kari shrieked, "I've been like this for 3 days! And-and-and that's all?!"

"Breathe Kari breathe!" Itachi answered.

"I'LL FUCKING CASTRATE YOU!" she screamed.

"Such love in the air…" Sasuke commented.

"I'll show you love when I pull your bottom lip over your face!"

"Don't take it to heart Sasuke…her body's going through the biological equivalent of a train wreck, think of when your testicles dropped…" Tsunade tried to comfort Sasuke.

Sasuke remained silent, there was no cool, punk answer to that statement, NONE!

"Sasuke-kun if you want; you can go to the waiting room." Natsuko offered.

"Yeah, the others will be hopelessly lost." Sasuke answered, "Che." He walked out of the door.

"Are they really that stupid?" Tsunade asked.

"You'd be surprised." Kari and Sasuke answered, as Sasuke went back in because he left his cell on a table.

"Well you guys better make yourselves comfortable in the room outside while we make preparations, they are still a little early, so there could be some complications." Tsunade informed. Itachi decided to stay and Sasuke sat on a chair, happy to be out of there.

'_Hopefully they remember to bring the video camera…'_ Sasuke thought. He could hear excited talking slowly getting louder.

We can't be going in the right direction!"

"Well obviously we are un! The overhead sign says 'Maternity ward' un!"

"Yeah! That's where all of the mental people are!"

"Maternity, not mentally." A third voice came in as Kisame, Deidara and Naomi turned the corner.

"See! Sasuke-kun's here un!" Deidara said to Kisame.

"He could be lost…" Kisame mumbled.

"How is she?" Naomi asked.

"8 cm or something." Sasuke answered, "She's being bitchy."

"Has she made death threats to Itachi?" Kisame immediately brightened up when Sasuke nodded.

In the delivery room…

Kari was sleeping while should could. Everything was set up, the worst case scenario was that there would be one twin malnourished and would have to spend some time in neo-natal care. The other end of the stick would be something like jaundice. So now it was just a waiting game, in two hours she only dilated half a centimeter.

There was a knock on the door and Kisame walked in. "Yo." He greeted.

"Hey." Itachi answered.

"I brought over the video camera so you could film it."

"Thank you very much Kisame."

"You're welcome." He glanced around, "well I better leave before I get in trouble."

"You can stay if you want; since we decided you're going to be a god father."

"I appreciate it, but there are some things in my life I'd rather not witness." Kisame grinned, then left.

It was now 7 pm; they had been at the hospital for 5 hours now. They were thankful that they bought Deidara a Gameboy DS and games for his birthday or else the blonde would have more than likely been trying to find old, insane Sam-Sam and use his new and improved annoying techniques to try and send him into a psycho rage and hopefully witness him being tazered. "Do you think old Sam-Sam is here un?" Deidara asked Kisame.

Kisame grinned thinking Deidara would never ask, "Who knows." Kisame answered. He glanced around, "He could be here, but we can't go around looking for him, we'll know who it is when we see him."

Naomi was enraptured with her own thoughts so she never heard a word they said. Another hour went by and nothing changed. Deidara and Kisame decided to stretch their legs and had to go to the washroom. On the way there they saw a bunch of seniors.

One of them turned in their direction, "Hey you kids! Get off my lawn!"

Deidara grinned, "We aren't children."

Sam-Sam started shaking his cane, "Then get off of my lawn you smelly old fart!"

"We aren't on your lawn; we're in your head!" Kisame replied.

"I…No…you aren't in my head!" Deidara made a clay bird and it flew over and landed on Sam-Sam's shoulder. "Get off ma lawn you creepy bird!"

"Katsu…" Deidara murmured. The clay bird didn't explode; instead it became a flash bomb.

"AAAHHHH!" Sam-Sam began to roll on the floor. "They're invading! Damn E.T and his phone! He brought reinforcements!"

Deidara and Kisame had identical evil grins on their faces. A nurse wandered over, "Is there a problem gentlemen?" the immediately put on their normal faces.

"Hah! She called me a gentleman!" he whispered excitedly.

Kisame nudged him in the ribs. "Not really, that guy was trying to kill me and my friend here for being on his lawn, then he started ranting about E.T and how they're going to rule the world." He answered matter-of-factly.

The nurse sighed, "Oh Mr. Johnson…I don't know what I'm going to have to do with you other than electroshock therapy." She led him away. They gave each other a high-five. They then walked to the washroom and back to where the others were waiting.

Meanwhile…

The contractions came back with a vengeance and Kari refused any painkillers.

"Are you sure?" Tsunade asked.

"Yes!" Kari growled, "They might have use if you've been beaten up on a mission but not this." She took in a huge breath, "QUIT PUNCHING MY KIDNEYS DAMN IT!" she yelled at the mountainous bulge. Tsunade and Itachi were on lookout duty, and watching for any changes.

"Is there any chance of your grip on my hand loosening?" Itachi asked Kari as he felt a few fingers dislocate.

"NO THERE ISN'T!"

"Okay Kari-chan, I need you to give me a push." Tsunade ordered. Kari did so with a scream. "Okay one, two, three…push!"

Itachi tried to help her do the proper breathing by being an example, "Breathe!" he ordered, "Push! Push! Come on! Hold it! Whatever you're doing don't stop!"

"Itachi Dudley Uchiha! AAAAHHH! THESE ARE THE ONLY KIDS YOU ARE GETTING FROM ME! BECAUSE I AM GOING TO KILL YOU! AND IF YOU SURVIVE I'M NOT LETTING THAT THING NEAR ME!" she screamed.

"That's just the hormones." Itachi answered nonchalantly.

"You're crowning!" Tsunade informed. "We just need two good pushes to get the first one out."

Kari figured that the only way top get out of this situation was to push but damn it was going to hurt. "Push it out or I'll make you." Itachi answered.

Kari gave him a withering look, "I'd…love…to…see you…try!" her eyes glowed red and her nails began to grow and the bones in Itachi's hands began to break.

"Waaaaahh!" Tsunade began to clean up the baby and wrap it. Kari began to recover from the ordeal; Itachi cut the cord and looked out the door.

"Sasuke! Come over and hold your nephew for a second please." Itachi asked. Sasuke hesitantly walked over and held out his arms. Itachi carefully placed him in Sasuke's outstretched arms. Tsunade was checking up on Kari, who was having more contractions. Sasuke looked curiously at the small bundle in his arms; he had stopped crying and was squirming around. They sat on a chair out of the way; Itachi went back to Kari and Tsunade to use his excellent coaching skills.

"I'M TIRED OF GODDAMN PUSHING!! ALL I WANT TO DO IS HAVE A BATH!!" She paused for a moment, "AND DRAIN MY BREASTS!"

"Do you have to yell?" Sasuke hissed trying to comfort a screaming baby.

"I'm sorry." Kari murmured, and then gave it another push.

"I can see another head." Tsunade informed. "One more push dear." With one great strain, a second, higher pitched wail joined the first one. "A girl." Tsunade healed Itachi's hand and they cut the cord and Itachi turned off the camera. They then gave the two bundles to Kari to feed. Naomi and the others were let in.

"So…did you guys name them?" Naomi asked.

"One and two." Kari answered adjusting one. "Simple yet effective." Itachi shook his head. "Okay…then I will go to the aboriginal way of naming them." She closed her eyes. "5 dogs playing poker, and fish sticks!" She cried triumphantly. "I kid! I kid! Well I want to name the boy Taro…" Itachi nodded his approval.

"And the girl?" Shizune asked.

"Meiyou." Itachi answered.

Tsunade grinned "Typical Uchiha style name."

"Honor huh? Unique and stylin." Kari grinned. She looked at her daughter. "Umm…are the whites of her eyes supposed to be bright yellow?"

Tsunade frowned, "Can you let me look them over after you've finished feeding them?"

"Yeah definitely!"

So Tsunade looked over both newborns. Meiyou definitely wasn't okay; she looked very ill and sickly and was diagnosed with Jaundice, "It'll be fine, she just needs to spend a few days under bili lights." Meiyou was placed in the incubator, and everyone else took turns holding Taro until Tsunade kicked everyone but the new parents out.

"How are you feeling?" Itachi asked while rocking a now sleeping Taro.

Kari gave him a glazed look, "Exhausted among other things." She walked out of the bed to the incubator.

"Is there anything I can do?" Itachi asked.

"Advil?" Kari asked. "Children's advil." Kari corrected herself. "I heard everything I consume goes to the breast milk so yeah." Itachi handed her a few. Tsunade walked in and removed two sickly plastic looking bags from Kari's bed.

"It's the placentas." Tsunade answered Kari's glance.

"Can I eat them?" Kari asked curiously.

"No." Tsunade answered.

"Why didn't you say you're hungry?" Itachi asked.

"I never thought of it until now." Kari answered, "My old dog ate hers…so it probably can't hurt."

"No." Tsunade answered. "I'll bring some dinner for the both of you." She came back surprisingly fast. After they finished eating their meal, Itachi left for home to make sure that it was still standing. Kari grabbed some shut eye while she still had a chance.

_TBC…_

_Wow this took me forever considering this is the holidays…I guess I was fast with this one, well I wish everyone a merry Christmas! And that you guys get what you want. And that you guys can give me my Christmas present by reviewing ^_^ thanks much_

_Sakura Sama 101 signing off. _


	34. So much for my happy ending

_Hey there! I'm happy yet sad to announce that this is the last chapter of Akatsuki's flower. It only took about 2 years to write and I'm thankful for all the support I've gotten throughout the making of this fic. Without further ado I present to you the final chapter of Akatsuki's flower_

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"_Blame me for your problems, for your feelings, for every little thing." –the words on my dp on my profile._

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_Thoughts_

_Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto._

The first night was a little rough for Kari; it was as if they knew she was asleep when they would begin to cry. Kari took it all in stride and she couldn't be angry. She was happy that she at least got 5 hours of undisturbed sleep in the end. Itachi came as soon as visiting hours began to help out; he also brought some much needed supplies. Little Meiyou was already looking better and was very quiet. Taro on the other hand was almost always whimpering or crying; he needed near constant human contact.

Kari was dozing off, "I could use some of Hinata-chan's tea…" She murmured. She could vaguely hear a door open and close.

"Konnichiwa I-Itachi-san, Kari-chan."

"Ah, her voice is invading my thoughts; it's almost as if she's here right now…"

"Open your eyes dork, maybe she is." Sasuke's voice drawled in her ear.

"Huh?!" Kari snapped awake and looked around. Sasuke was in a chair and Hinata was holding a thermos, blushing but with a smile on her face. "When did you guys get here?"

"Just now." Sasuke answered, "We met halfway and were heading for the same place. It'd be idiotic to split up."

"Y-Yeah." Hinata answered as she poured cups of tea.

Kari took hers gratefully, "This is just what I needed." She looked to Hinata, "How long do you plan on staying?"

"An hour o-or so." She answered. Meiyou began to cry and Kari walked to the incubator and scooped her up. Kari changed her diaper and continued to hold her.

"Are your hands clean Hina-chan?"

"Yes why?"

"Do you want to hold her?"

"I-I couldn't I-I would probably-"

"You won't drop her; she's tougher than she looks." Kari walked over. "Relax! I'll be right here!" She helped Hinata set up her arms and put Meiyou in the crook of her arm. Meiyou opened her eyes and tried to focus on Hinata, unfortunately she was having trouble focusing, as all newborns do. Hinata began to relax, and it was a good thing too because Taro began to cry. Itachi checked him and changed his diaper.

"How much am I willing to bet that was all for show?" Kari asked.

"I don't know, you tell me." Itachi answered picking him up.

"If I wasn't so…" she paused to yawn, "exhausted I'd kick your ass…"

"Then sleep."

"But I might miss something…" She pouted, "Plus my hemorrhoids are throbbing so I couldn't even if I wanted to." She added as an afterthought.

"Che." Sasuke shook his head, "anything else you want to share?"

Kari brightened up, "Where do I start?! I'm getting hot flashes, and I thought you could only get those when you enter menopause, I keep sweating, my boobs hurt in more ways then one, cramps and lingering contractions, vaginal tears, I can't pee because it hurts." She swayed, "Dizziness…" she collapsed on the bed, out like a light.

There was a knock on the door and Kurenai stepped in, "Hello everyone!" she set a gift bag on the table. Sasuke quickly grabbed the bag and began to snoop through it, "its medical supplies." He grabbed a small tube and placed it on the table beside Kari's bed.

"Well…nice to see you're in one piece Itachi san." Kurenai smiled.

Itachi returned the smile, "Same to you." He replied and adjusted Taro, "How did the infiltration go?"

Kurenai sat down beside Hinata, "We found the Akatsuki lair, but no one was inside, it was like they never were in there. There's not even a hair to run a scan on, and good luck trying to find any clues on where they might be now."

"I see…" Itachi murmured as Deidara walked into the room, "Deidara-san, are you still corresponding with Sasori?"

"No, we both decided it'd be fore the best if we stopped, after all, we are on different sides now un." The bubbly blonde looked sad.

"I apologize if it upsets you." Itachi commented.

Deidara grinned, "Its fine un. It was only a matter of time un."

Meiyou began to stir in Hinata's arms. "O-Oh!" Hinata squeaked.

"I can take her." Kurenai offered.

"A-Are your hands c-clean?" Hinata asked.

"No, I'll go wash them right now!" Kurenai answered.

Sasuke flashed a cocky grin but stopped when he realized what he was doing, Hinata caught it though, but the young Hyuga heiress hid her confusion with her training.

Kurenai came back and relieved Meiyou from Hinata. But, little Meiyou began to cry anyway. "I'll trade you." Itachi offered as little Taro began to whimper. Itachi checked Meiyou for a soiled diaper, and it was still dry. He walked over to Kari and opened her gown.

"Huh?" Kari murmured as she opened an eye. She took Meiyou from Itachi and took over, "Oh, hey Kurenai-chan! Deidara-kun!"

"Hey." They answered.

"How are you feeling?" Kurenai asked.

"Alright, I already complained about it." Kari answered.

"As long as it's not too awful..." Kurenai answered, "Well Hinata…it's almost time for us to go train, we don't want to keep Kiba and Shino waiting." She gave Taro back to Itachi.

"O-Okay bye everyone!" Hinata said.

"Bye guys." Kurenai began to walk out the door.

"See ya!" Kari answered.

It hardly seemed like 5 minutes gone by, but really it was half an hour but Jiraiya burst through the door, "A TOAST TO THE NEW PARENTS!!" he roared. He was holding a bottle of sake and one of his books, he was followed by Satori.

Taro began to scream like he was being tortured. "Now look at what you did!" Kari smacked Jiraiya upside the head. Taro began to calm down a little; he stopped screaming but was still blubbering. Meiyou looked at the cause of the commotion and, even though she was only one day old she pulled off a glare of sorts, as her eyes shifted in and out of focus, then went back to a breast.

"Like father, like daughter." Jiraiya commented wryly. "Oh well, who wants some!?"

"I'd like to remember these days thanks." Itachi responded dryly.

Deidara, Satori and Sasuke took a saucer but they didn't want to get too drunk. Soon Sasuke and Deidara left. Satori had Taro and Jiraiya had Meiyou, who didn't look happy but…

"Well I have to go and spy on the chicks! See ya!" Jiraiya left.

Tsunade came to check up on them whenever she could get a break from Hokage duties, in two days they were able to leave the hospital. It was almost as if it took a village effort to get everything out of there.

"Thank goodness we're finally home!" Kari sighed holding both carriers.

Itachi and Kari knew that this wasn't going to be easy. They knew that this was going to be their greatest challenge yet.

Mikoto and Fugaku watched them as they entered the house.

"Ooooohhh! They're so cute! I knew we were gonna have cute grandkids!" Mikoto squealed.

"…we're dead."

"So? It doesn't mean we aren't there!"

Fugaku sighed and shook his head at his wife, "I'm proud of them, they've done well…now…onto the afterlife…"

"Oh no you aren't! We are going to stay in limbo until each and every grandchild we have until they don't need us anymore!"

"…fine…"

"Besides, you know our sons…they'd be screwed without us!'

"Good point. The only reason they're alive today is because of us…plus…I get a bad feeling a few years down the road."

And as the last page of the old chapter is finished, a new chapter will begin, and nobody knows what will happen in the new chapters of their lives, but they can always flip through the old chapters and smile.

_THE FREAKING END!_

_Well…I'm finally finished this story! It took me a few years but I'm finally done ^_^ I give many thanks to the people who have supported this fic, and for those who have added this story in their favorites or alerts this is your last challenge for you! REVIEW! And for those who haven't reviewed at all…at least review the last chapter ^_^ please? I would like to get a record amount of reviews before I post the sequel ^_^ it's the holidays ^_^ so yes thankyou very much for reading and liking it and giving your support in your own way. _

_A very big heartfelt thanks to the following people!_

_Halfdemon-kai_

_Hao is hot_

_Dark Soul 1313_

_xEpIcxxfAiLx_

_Shy-Hime_

_Kitty Otaku_

_SlightlyBroken_

_High General Obi-Wan Kenobi_

_Reader_

_A Hyperactive-Yaoi Fangirl_

_Not aGeisha Gurl_

_Mischievous Wolf of Twilight_

_DragonCrazed_

_Grahmsmoon_

_Lady Dei_

_Cheapy Corp_

_Budgie-chan (and I'm glad that you think that way…my goal is accomplished for one person ^_^)_

_Rin Uchiha _

_Moonless-Night444_

_xXx Only Half Evil xXx_

_Hikari Yamino_

_Moogle in paridaisu_

_Raccoon Theif_

_Andrometamorphose_

_Gaara's-pandachan101_

_Melodyrain_

_Avatar Uchiha_

_Selenitis_

_Death2Sasuke (the first reviewer ^_^)_

_Teehee well yeah sorry if I forgot someone it is currently 1 in the morning and I don't have my contacts in ^_^ I LOVE YOU ALL! And one of my goals has been accomplished. ^_^ teehee well… I will have the next part out sometime in January and if not feel free to PM my lazy ass as much as you like ^_^ but yes I hope everyone enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing this…and I still do have some untold stories I could post. So you guys need to let me know if you want me to post them. ^_^_

_Hoping to hear from you ^_^_

_Sakura Sama 101_


	35. ANNOUNCEMENT

BIG FAT IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT! THE SEQUEL IS OUT! SO IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW OR HAVEN'T CHECKED CLICK ON MY PROFILE AND SCROLL DOWN!

IT'S CALLED KONOHA'S BLOSSOM!!

THANKYOU!


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